2 hours ago, Soapsuds said:

I like Noel. That's his whit humor. 

That said I understand how you and others might have found it offensive. I do feel your pain when you feel you aren't being heard. The board needs an overhaul where moderating is concerned. Posters can continue trashing the board and other posters yet still continue to post on here. I'm not even referring to Noel. 

But I understand how the game is played here.

What kind of overhaul? Seriously. Honest question. What exactly do you think Toups or I could do better when moderating the board? Neither of us can read every single post. When we receive reported posts (which are VERY rare), we handle them as quickly as possible and to the best of our abilities when judging the context of what was reported.

If you want us to become Twitter, Facebook or any other social media platform that polices posts by constantly warning members over some of the things they've posted, you'd be surprised who would be impacted by all that.

I've said it in the past, and I'll repeat it again, having to baby posters and tell them they are not being nice to each other isn't worth my time. I have so many things to do when it comes to this website that I should have a staff of 20, but no amount of revenue generated by this site can afford to pay a single person.

Additionally, people trashing the board means nothing to me. Why? Because if I gave a damn what people had to say about SON, I'd be a fool to keep it up and running. Seems I have thicker skin than most. People, including yourself (re-read your post), can say all they want about SON and the SON Community but continue posting because I don't believe in silencing opinions. Especially those I disagree with.

As for games, there isn't one being played. At least not by me and not by Toups. All we ever wanted for this place was a forum for people to discuss their love for soaps, past and present, openly. We want people to talk about their favorite storylines, favorite actors, worst plot devices, best and worst couples, worst soap, best soap, etc. We also welcome disagreements on said topics as debates are an ideal reason for a discussion forum. 

Instead, one of the ONLY forums still in existence today that provides people of all ages and backgrounds the ability to discuss all things soaps (among other topics), and not just some random couple or other single-topic fandoms, is constantly being demoralized because people want to get rid of posters they don't agree with or don't like because of something they said. More importantly, people get up in their feelings and start attacking each other over nonsense. And people expect me to come in and break up a pathetic fight from said verbal attacks? I then have to decide who to ban. Who to warn? Why? Twitter and Facebook don't do that? Why should I have to?

Don't like what someone has to say? Ignore them. You can't do that? Not my problem.

To add:

My comments are not meant to hurt anyone or make them feel less than others. I'm stating my opinion openly, for the first time in 20 years since running this place, with absolutely no compensation from anyone who dares complain about how it's run. 

When we introduce advertisements to pay for the server. Complaints. When we have over a dozen moderators, it creates drama among members vs. moderators and that leads to the creation of other forums (which won't be named here). There are complaints when we try to be hands-off and let people handle themselves like adults.

There are days I question whether to keep it up and running, and today is definitely one of them. Maybe I should let it all blow up and burn down. Won't bother me.

Just make me a moderator, lol! 😄 I'm sooo messin' with ya. I could make you a really cute logo though. I accept Venmo. 😄

1 hour ago, Noel said:

Just make me a moderator, lol! 😄 I'm sooo messin' with ya. I could make you a really cute logo though. I accept Venmo. 😄

That was truly epic. You decimated her. Not commenting on the other equally epic post. Just sipping my Joe's raspberry tea. 

Edited April 15, 20232 yr by victoria foxton

Double-standards. Don't pick and choose. One sin or whatever is no greater than the other. We're here for escapism. Chill. Out. Get out in the community and make a difference if ya can. 

If anyone would like to make donations to this non-profit organization that I've volunteered at for the LGBTQ+ community, please go to Center On Halsted, as it also provides seniors who identify as LGBTQ for home assistance needs. I love these wonderful people. 😀

So yeah, back to DAYS. Yeah, I want biscuits. I want to have a serious party with like DJ Dieselboy. It's so not fair.

Edited April 15, 20232 yr by Noel

My issue was with one post.

@Soapsuds Please don't try to include me in a discussion about whatever other longterm board issues you might have.

I'm so lost, I have no idea what post

 

I will say @Errol I love this board, here, twitter and IG are the only places I will discuss soaps more often cause FB is a cess pool

 

This thread is a prime example of why I think most of us would accept more moderation.

I couldn't care less about Soapsuds, Foxton or their private beef; I have had one of them blocked for years. But their feud has been splashed out across multiple public threads and spaces, including spaces as diverse as the "Thought of the Day" thread as well as inside the mostly-defunct status update feature (which the activity feed occasionally displays, that's the only way I know about this) where lots of people, not just one, get attacked. On any other board, this kind of behavior would've been shut down a long time ago and the update feed destroyed. Here it is a recurring feature.

There is a big difference between silencing valid opinions about soaps or discussion topics vs. exercising some moderation over public behavior. Even 4chan deletes threads or bans IPs. I'm fully aware that I'd probably get in trouble sometimes if there was more moderation and I am fully prepared for that. I've been prepared that for almost 20 years. I have no problem modulating my behavior in accordance with the rules of a forum if someone lays in on me, and I've done it many times since then (or done it myself, here, holding my tongue many times). The problem that I can see is this forum doesn't want to let anyone else go, so it doesn't act on interpersonal issues that just fester and rot.

And no, I don't think it's fair that Errol should have to decide who to warn or ban (and as I've said before, I'm not really interested in banning anyone other than our most virulent sockpuppet-using trolls, who to the best of my knowledge aren't active these days - and I have never called for banning anyone above) when there is no compensation, and often no thanks to be had for running this board on less than a skeleton crew. But unfortunately when you own the board that's the punchline. We don't exist in a utopian online space, and the Internet has changed a lot in 20 years. Errol knows how I feel about this and I know how he feels so I truly don't mean to put him in a bad position or embarrass him, because in the very rare times I express myself about this issue I usually do it in passing or occasionally in private. I think hard choices should be made if behavior continues, and if that includes me someday, so be it. You won't see me hiding within the unused forum architecture talking shít about everyone. But I have no pull here, so all I can say is that's how I feel. And I hope Jane doesn't go anywhere over some tacky jokes.

I should add, though I've said it to Errol directly before: I am truly grateful this place exists despite my issues with it and my private misgivings, because of the wealth of anecdotal history and one-on-one experience with the medium that is still rich among the user base. The people here with the knowledge of history and ability to expound on it and discuss it intelligently is the main reason I stay when I have plenty of other places I could (and do) frequent, though I don't frequent any of them as regularly. When those people, mostly quieter people, are gone, then that oral or experiential history of a sort is gone. That to me is the invaluable thing about the board. Everything else could change and I wouldn't blink.

Edited April 15, 20232 yr by Vee

And here I just was wanting to talk [!@#$%^&*] about my favourite silly soap opera. What's happening lol

 

6 minutes ago, te. said:

And here I just was wanting to talk [!@#$%^&*] about my favourite silly soap opera. What's happening lol

 

I'm here if you wanna talk more about Days 😂😂

I wasn't keeping score, but who ate the most biscuits? Seems like Rafe polished off an order by himself.

5 minutes ago, Franko said:

I wasn't keeping score, but who ate the most biscuits? Seems like Rafe polished off an order by himself.

Probably was Rafe lol or Johnny

5 minutes ago, AbcNbc247 said:

Probably was Rafe lol or Johnny

Then both are going to be super horny.😂

1 minute ago, Soapsuds said:

Then both are going to be super horny.😂

Haha I think Rafe was. But Johnny was being more romantic. 

But by the end, everybody was coming out of it. Another reason why I thought it was stupid: the show rushed it. 

1 minute ago, AbcNbc247 said:

Haha I think Rafe was. But Johnny was being more romantic. 

But by the end, everybody was coming out of it. Another reason why I thought it was stupid: the show rushed it. 

I didn't bother watching.