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Why is Tracy standing there talking to the television instead of going to the studio? This is Jim Reilly schtick.

Carla Hall choking out that line ("it's gon' be - okay!") was awful. As was the horribly stilted Soup mention. I actually think The Soup and Chelsea Lately are good press for GH and OLTL - soaps will be mocked period - but the key to that kind of fame is to be more clever in how you allude to it. And RC has been far more clever before.

Did A.J. and Carla just hoot at each other? What?

I like Felix as Sabrina's sitter, but how is he "Uncle Felix"? Patrick don't know him that well!

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I can't believe Felix and Sabrina are still talking about whether or not Britt faked morning sickness. Who gives a [!@#$%^&*]?

Felix: "[britt] lured Brad into her web of lies. And yes, I've always wanted to say those words." Good line.

I love Parry Shen but why does Britt have a henchman? What do we know about him? And why does he have to be a minority, sort of like a counterpoint to Felix for Sabrina?

Yeah, these Michael/Morgan scenes do read like boyfriends. Kish. The wrrrrong kind of chemistry.

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The new Crimson logo looks like a Carl's Jr. sign.

You know I've been dealing with Internet idiots too long when I think Patrick just threatened to take Emma's white privilege away. I still don't know why he is dressed and styled like a Gloucester fisherman.

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Yeah, okay, suddenly Felix has to be forced to hit on a non-white dayplayer. I get it, Ron and Frank.

I actually don't think they're doing it intentionally at all, but it's just part of an increasing, ongoing pattern of casual marginalization which got really bad with the Evanses on OLTL. They were fun characters at times, I loved Tonye Patano and Frankie Faison, I liked Sean Ringgold, I enjoy the new Destiny - but when OLTL was on ABC even the most talented members of the family with major credits were basically tokens, just like Shawn and T.J., to be discarded whenever. Layla got a bit of a spotlight, then got dumped. Felix is basically Sabrina's handmaiden too often. It's not that I think they mean anything by this, far from it, but when you have him lusting after Milo, etc., and the black kid bullies the little white boy, and then Felix turns around and is grossed out by an Asian guy, it all just sends the wrong message. They do not take any minority character seriously enough on the canvas. They have them around for support and ornamentation. And that's not fair, and it's not enough.

Why the hell is this thug speechifying about Olivia's psychic powers and poking her forehead? Seriously? It's DAYS!

Man, Evil Santa here has a looot of lines. Whose dad is he?

"Don't worry your pretty head." Okay, this ship is canon with the brothers.

Meanwhile on The Chew: When in doubt while "acting", laugh! Laugh!

It's amazing how every criminal thug on the show this week has been outsourced to Growlr. All angry bears. "That was no little friend, that was the spirit of my dead father." And tonight, Jane Elliot goes home and plays Russian roulette.

Why won't he stop laughing?

Sweet Christ, Bad Santa is going for it! "Recurring! I can make this happen! Loud noises!" Olivia's text message is hilarious. And look at the other henchman. Staying quiet, waiting for Sean Blakemore to quit so he can be Nu, Even Less Relevant Shawn.

OH NO MRS. SMITH FROM FRESH PRINCE! SHE'S A CHICAGO NURSE! God, everyone's on this show now!

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This episode has to be seen to be believed, Carl. The whole thing. It's the craziest [!@#$%^&*] I've seen from RC in a long time, and I have a higher tolerance than most of the board.

The onscreen ticker describing Tracy as a "tremendously strong, crazed woman" was great, though, hilarious.

You can see the blind desperation in JE's eyes as they go to commercial while she wields the relish. The thing is, I like a lot of this storyline up til now but this is just - too much.

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Oh, I dig Parry Shen. But that goofy schtick with Felix and Brad, while a little shallow, was pretty progressive for daytime - two dudes all over each other. It's the least offensive thing in this insane episode, other than Michael and Morgan being on the verge of nuzzling each other in every scene.

Look at this [!@#$%^&*] at Crimson. Man, when Wilford Brimley goes off his insulin everyone pays!

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Seriously? Britt is moving in? Come on.

Wow, Felix complaining that "sexing the truth out of Brad" (a funny line by itself) would mean his standards have fallen through the floor "all the way to China" was a likely unintentional but very poor choice of words.

And now Mario Batali is stumbling across the floor and towards the camera with vomit on his face as everyone on The Chew (including Liz in the audience) is poisoned into projectile vomiting by demon relish brewed by Flock of Seagulls frontman Roger Howarth. This is amazing. What an introduction. That's completely insane.

ME looked a little better in motion. Kind of.

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Carla had a thing that was mentioned on Top Chef that she does to find people when separated in a place that includes hooting - hooty hoo. I'm guessing that is what that was all about.

All Patrick told Emma was that Britt wasn't going to have a baby, he didn't say abortion to his young child...but when Britt "changed" her mind he had to tell Emma that the baby was coming after all.

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