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Hollyoaks: Discussion Thread


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Long ass post incoming ...

Since August 10, the day Lucy Allan's firing was announced, I returned to watching the show. So the current soaps I'm watching are this and EastEnders '89. I'm immediately invested in Charlie's story. A solid actor, and with Darren heavily involved and away from Nancy (I've never liked their pairing), this is probably the best story on the show that I've seen so far. Shing Lin ain't it though.

Ste is still insufferable. I want to like his children because of Amy, but they both can't act. Leah is typical Hollyoaks fare, but Lucas is DOA. Hollyoaks is the place where you really need charisma to succeed and he's the biggest block of wood I've seen in years. No emotion, dead behind the eyes. Why doesn't he hang around with people in his own grade instead of Leah and her friends? I know it's because they want to pair him with Dillon, but that beautiful charismatic man deserves so much better. On paper, I do like the idea of Leah getting with him and then him and Lucas having an affair behind her back. Typical, but I'd be here for it. If she was an actress the caliber of Emma Rigby, then Leah would have been perfect for whatever this new Maxine story is going to be which would solidify the character. Alas, she's just not good enough. I'd say bring back Mike/Zoe with their own kid in tow to take care of them after I swiftly kill Ste off, but is it even worth it?

Due to nostalgia, I will always have an affinity for John Paul, but my God, the first week back and he tells James he'll say he attacked him to the police instead of his gay bashers. This character needs a complete reset. If I were to keep him around, I'd have him get his own place with his kid. Then give him a friend. How is a decades long character such as him so isolated from everyone that isn't his family? Damon would have been perfect. I guess Joel could make sense. He certainly needs to stay the hell away from James and Ste. He does have Scott, his only non-toxic relationship at this point. Does he have a job? Do any of the McQueens for that matter? 

Sienna and Ethan - I kind of care, kind of don't. Ethan deserves better than her at this point. Sienna, like John Paul and especially Maxine, is worn out. All of them need a rest. 

Maxine - Another issue story. It'd be comical if it wasn't so depressing.

Jack/Pearl - No! Jack is looking his age these days and the Pearl actress is 20 years younger. It's time all these older characters get written out, at least from being regulars, which I've said before. 

Mercedes/Felix - I'm irrationally pissed because Felix/Zara should have been the pairing they went with in an opposites attract type story and then when they got settled bring on a long lost child of Zara's. As it stands, yes they work because Jennifer Metcalfe usually always has chemistry with whoever she's paired with, but with all his children gone I don't know how Felix works on this show long-term. It's such a shame because him and Martine were genuinely one of the best couples this show has ever had. The show needs to stop acting like Corrie and know when to cut it's losses.

Dave/Cindy - [!@#$%^&*] off, Dave! Dominic Power, even though we know he can be a strong actor from his days in the Dales, is embarrassingly wrong for this show. He comes off creepy and cringe and more than any of the other bad actors on the show, just makes everything uncomfortable. This would have been the perfect time for Cindy and Darren to start turning back to each other. 

Ella's father - Even though it was probably the lowest point of Mandy's time on the show, I'm still glad they're playing this beat of Warren potentially being her father. It hopefully looks like that won't be the case. I'd rather it be someone like Scott Anderson, who I'm surprised has never returned, or a brand new character. Maybe this new Carter Shepherd bloke can be Ella's father. Though they seem to be wasting no time in making it obvious that he's some evil religious zealot. Cult storyline incoming?

Donna-Marie - I like her. An obviously strong actress. Her double-act with Marnie was her at her best. However, another who isn't needed as a regular. And also, can someone please hand her a Crest white-strip already. She should have simply disappeared after Juliet's death and showed up in Romeo's life intermittently when his story dictated.

Romeo/Rayne - I've seen people complain about Rayne, but I think this is the second strongest story on the show next to Charlie's. Romeo the deep romantic is actually the perfect person to be consumed by an abusive partner. Not to mention his troubled family life. I'm also here for whenever Rayne gets the chance to be a straight up bitch, especially to Peri. I guess the show is building up to Peri/Romeo getting together. Which, okay I guess. At least they're the same generation and have a long history with each other. But it's kind of like pairing Sharon/Ian for me. Casual friends no one ever asked to see together. 

Leela/Joel - I was happy to hear Leela say she's occasionally back working as a firefighter again. That was so unique for her. It was a stupid decision to ever take it away. Her and Joel, again, are alright. Superficially, Joel is hot as hell, but he's such a hypocrite for all the times he's protected Warren, him getting on his high horse about Leela helping Donna-Marie, or really anything for that matter, made my teeth itch. At least he's not a priest anymore. That was wearing thin.

Speaking of superficial ... Prince/Hunter. Keep them around for the guns show alone. They actually work well because they're not living in that damn McQueen prison.

The Harcourt siblings - I'm letting them cook, see where they go. Maybe the new producer can make them something special. Though I get the feeling Rafe will be a villain soon enough, but maybe that's just EastEnders PTSD.

As of today, it's been three weeks since Lucy Allan's firing and we have yet to have a replacement announcement. I hope this means whoever will be the new Show-runner is really allowed to shake things up. Obligatory call for the return of the SU Bar. Make this show about high school/college kids coming of age again! Give the Loft a more grungy vibe. It's looks too pretty and comfortable. The atmosphere is dead. Stop having Tony change his menu/have grand re-openings of The Dog every five minutes. Bring back freshers week, properly. I'd say every other year a new set of characters can come in and keep things ... well, fresh!

Every older character should have a place on the canvas where they fit in with the younger characters ...

The Dog - Tony/Diane+Scott works here I think, but him as a foster parent is perfect.

Salon/Barbers - Cindy/Darren

Price Slice - Tom (It's in his blood!)

The Love Boat - Lizzie/have Prince work here and see if they have chemistry

Mercedes - manage The SU Bar

Leela - the gym

James - lawyer's office

Rafe - the village shops (forget what's it's called). Give Phoenix (formerly Brooke) a stall here like Ripley had, if they don't already

Hospital - Peri

Police - Zoe/Sam

Garage - Give Theresa the place. She has the qualifications, which is something I routinely beat a dead horse about.

School - Nancy/Yasmin/Hunter (I think I saw he works there now)/Put Liberty in here as a music teacher

This leaves The Loft up for grabs. Enter my Scott Anderson return, along with Mandy & Justin, potentially Mike/Zoe, and Charlie Green all grown up as a wayback playback. Obviously they'd have to give him a nickname. I'm thinking a pairing with Phoenix as they're close in age. 

Now for the most fun, here's my (long) axe list ...

The old people who aren't necessary/wouldn't be regulars... 

Jack (recurring)

Nana - never liked her. All her presence does is remind me that Myra isn't around, though she's pretty much recurring anyway.

Sally - Who is her presence helping? Bueller?

Misbah/Zain - Dillon can live with Tom/Yasmine in the Maalik house.

Donna-Marie/Pearl - discussed above

Tired characters in need of a rest...

John Paul

Maxine

Sienna

Felix - doesn't really need a rest, but his character is at his natural end

Outright axed...

Warren - We don't need a serial killer on this program.

Joel - Probably, should have left with Cleo.

Goldie - Hate

Sharon - Can't act and is unnecessary.

Dave - The worst!

Nadira - Hated her when I watched before. Still hate her now. Always pulling a face like a slapped arse.

Norma - Psychopath. Should have only been brought in for her initial story which should have lead to Warren's exit.

Shing Lin - nothing burger. Makes me pissed off at how much they squandered the potential of Serena.

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But Warren makes the show tbh. It was so boring without him. 
 

John Paul should’ve never returned in 2012.. they ruined Doug‘s amazing character for Ste and later for John Paul.. When JP was raped I kinda felt sorry but after that story his character became a mess from which he never recovered. I am sick of seeing his face at this point. I loved the McQueens but this is a family I would get rid of entirely besides Theresa or being back the OG McQueens. 

I know they are keeping Tony around coz he is Hollyoaks own Ken Barlow but please.. He has been deadweight for years. Yes he has some good stuff here and there but it’s not worth it to pay him that much for it.

Diane is a character that I never understood her purpose for. She ain’t even likeable. I would’ve axed that character mid 2010‘s.

I‘m shocked that the producer sent Grace Black packing and then quit their position. Can the new producer please bring back Grace?

I want Dodger to return and help Maxine to get better

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The reason given for this change is that 64% of viewers watch via first-look streaming or on E4, and the plan is to simplify how the audience – which has a younger demographic than the other soaps – consumes it.

It is an interesting analogy to DAYS, that the reason being promoted is more fans access the soap through streaming rather than over linear cable.  I don't know if it true, but it is not necessarily a harbinger of doom.

And, good news for US fans with a VPN, episodes will also be on YouTube.

Edited by j swift
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