Bravo's The Real Housewives of....

[DaytimeFan]

That Jessica Fletcher meme has me laughing out loud - Marge would totally be the weekly victim on an episode of MSW. 

That's such a great look for LVP. How I miss her on BH!

[Cat]

Seriously. In NJ? Marge needs to watch her back. She's going to threaten to spill on the wrong person one of these days. And I think that blackmailing/intimidatory nastiness has weighed on her. There's no joy in her RH game anymore. 

LVP looked absolutely glorious, that light, bubblegum pink complements her very well. Back in the early days of RHOBH, LVP was literally the physical cross of (at their peak) Liz Hurley, Jackie Collins and Jacqueline Bissett. Truly spectacular looks.

[Cheap21]

Melissa's Old Nose is exposing Teresa and Jennifer!

 

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[NothinButAttitude]

This isn't new though. Every housewife in every city leaks stories to their favorite bloggers. I don't get why the SLC women got mad at Monica, I never understood why Candiace spent all of season 5 whining about Monique getting ahead of the story, and I won't care if the NJ women try to come and Jenn and Tre for doing it. They all do it. It is just a pointless, stupid argument. 

[Cat]

This is what I mean about every RHONJ-adjacent's grandmother and her cat trying to scare up some coin by joining the RH ecosystem. They become gossip bloggers or podcasters and trade in leaks and information passed from the HWs. I scroll past them on Twitter at this point, but Melissa's Old Nose was quite obviously Teresa/Jennifer's mouthpiece for years. Behind the Velvet Rope used to get dirt from Marge until they fell out. Now that podcast is pro Teresa. It's a whole ecosystem out there built to push different HW narratives, as you say. It really got going in Atlanta when early RHOA took off. I don't see what all the fuss is about, except that I'm finding it an increasing distraction from the actual shows. They need to be careful it doesn't take away from the franchise itself, because all the contrived stuff on the shows are starting to pale in comparison with the Twitter dirt and surprise announcements. This past season of RHOBH is a prime example where Kyle's PR team and Netflix spinoffs have totally stolen BH's thunder.

ETA: your point about SLC is especially interesting, because while the whole reveal involved the fact that Monica was a SLC gossip bloggers, the drama was played out entirely on the show. Entirely! RH Twitter went nuts (in a good way) and it helped drive viewership to the show itself.

Edited May 5 by Cat

[DaytimeFan]

NJ

And so it begins...another season of hell...where each cast member is a villain in someone else's story.

Jenn Fessler: I have no idea why she isn't a main cast member given the premiere was about her birthday and the previews feature her shifting loyalties regularly. 

Teresa: I cannot ever warm to Teresa because 1) she is unspeakably stupid and 2) when she rhetorically asked why she had been through everything she'd been through, ever the long suffering heroine, I had to resist throwing my TV out the window given she 'endured' what she has because she committed mortgage fraud and was convicted in a court of law and went to jail for her crimes, yet doesn't own up to anything she did wrong. 

Danielle: she wisely sat out the premiere for the most part and appeared to play nice. 

Jenn Aydin: she is quick to jump on social media rumours, so her hypocrisy about the truth of her husband cheating on her continues to boggle my mind.

Rachel: like Danielle, she played nice for the most part until the end of the episode, where she attempted to have a confrontation with Teresa, which we all know is a waste of time because Teresa just gets loud and starts to blink. I did enjoy her grandmother referring to Jenn Aydin as 'the nose'...when you're that lady's age, you just stop giving a damn.

Melissa: now here is a woman who is going to keep her head down this season. She could not bear the site of Teresa. Focusing on her daughter's college story is a smart move because the audience can relate to it and it's bland and uncontroversial, but not fake as most of her previous stories have been.

Marge: I like that she played nice with Jenn Aydin and otherwise she is like Melissa and cannot bear the sight of Teresa. You can see the wheels are in motion this season with several of her friends jumping ship to Teresa. 

Jackie: I can see why producers cut her, what exactly does she bring to the show anymore?

Dolores: the only one I would want to have dinner with in real life.

The Husbands: Louie remains a walking red flag. The tension between Louie and John Fuda is going to stoke some serious tension this season. Always enjoy seeing Marge's Joe, while Melissa's Joe is practically quivering in the sight of Teresa. Paulie was looking for a spot in the opening credits with how he needlessly involved himself in the dispute between Louie and John - it was illogical and not a great look for him. 

 

[NothinButAttitude]

@DaytimeFan, I think this might be the first time we won't see eye to eye. 

I found the premiere to be what it always is--everyone making it about Teresa. 

Melissa couldn't even focus on her daughter going to college as she had to toss in that line about Gia to spark a reaction from Joe. That wasn't lost on me, and I know what she was doing. This is why I don't like MeHo. She's sneaky as f*ck. This is why I keep saying Tre needs to make amends with Kathy/Rosie/Rich, which I think she has, and usher them out on camera to get them to expose MeHo and Tiny Tim. 

I am not stunned that Marge the Puppet Master tried staging a coup before the reunion. It now makes sense why that whole reunion went awry. It was all part of  Marge's plan. What she didn't bet on was that Jenn Fessler was going to expose her for doing it. 

I don't get why Jenn F. or Jackie aren't full-time. Much like Miami needs to do, just have a cast of 9 women. I think had Jackie and Jenn been full-time, it could have shifted the tide and made the show more bearable. 

And Paulie arguing with all those men was pointless. Paulie was talking like an adult with logic, and of course, Joe Gorga's puppet, Magilla Gorilla, got hostile. 

Furthermore, I find it odd that he's trying to lord Tre going to prison as something to put him in a moral high ground. Dude, you "allegedly" sold drugs and got in trouble for it. You're no better. If you want people to not address your past, you should do the same. 

Bravo/Andy is going to have to make a hard decision going forward. Teresa or MeHo/Tiny Tim. Quite frankly, I'd pull a RHONY and reboot the entire show with all-new women. This show cannot move forward in its current state. 

[DaytimeFan]

I don’t think we really disagree. My thesis statement is all of them, except Dolores, are trash and villains in each other’s stories. 
 

 

[Gray Bunny]

Funny you should ask, because I took a photo of the menu (I'm that kind of person, just as I kept a cocktail napkin as a souvenir, hehe): 

Checkmate Bitch:

Stoli Hot Vodka, Chacho Jalapeno, Fresh Pineapple, Grapefruit Liqueur, Vanilla Citrus Syrup, Angostura Bitters, and Pink Peppercorns. All this in a tall glass for a mere $23.95.  Cheers! 

[Cat]

Thank you @Gray Bunny ! That is a lot of strong flavors in one glass, but the beauty of a truly amazing cocktail is to be surprised by the fact that you can taste all the different ingredients in one gulp, and that they actual enhance one another. LVP has been in the bar game a long time, so she knows what she's doing. I imagine Checkmate Bitch contained exactly the kind of spicy kick that Adrienne, Rinna and Bland Spice (if you know, you know) got in the face whenever LVP walked into a room.

[Gray Bunny]

F**king hell, I forgot to stock up on Tums and Mylanta before the premiere. Like last season, last night's premiere just gives me the constant cringes and tension in my belly. I just don't know if I can call this show entertainment anymore. Just looking at half the mens' bloated reddened faces gives me fear one of their heads will literally explode. 

Oy, I don't even know what to make of the shifting alliances that are coming up, along with all the behind the scenes strategizing and manipulation. RHONJ is the Ultimate Survivor game of all cities. 

I'm in agreement with you; I can only stomach Dolores. She's the only sane woman who isn't doing backflips trying to align herself up with the right person to keep a spot on the show. 

[NothinButAttitude]

 

[Soaplovers]

Jersey needs to lean more into the family element like in the early days and less of the constant fighting when most of the cast can barely stand to be around one another.

[Taoboi]

Oh, for real!!! I can feel I'm going to dread him getting his (JPL) hands on nuRHONY if it is true he's over there. Because so far I'm liking it.

 

I did go ahead and read my first impressions from back when I watched the first episode. And I was SHOCKED at how my impressions had already changed. Except for BRYNN. lol. 

 

I believe that I'm on Episode 5 and still liking it so far. And I can go on about the architecture for days. 

Hehe. Well someone has to keep Ashley accountable.

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Yeah, I have to give credit where credit is due. I think everyone knows how I feel about Marge, but I think her tagline is my favorite. Cuz...true. 

 

 

 

 

[Cat]

Re: RHONJ, can't disagree with any of you. Like @Gray Bunny said, RHONJ is the Ultimate Survivor of Real Housewives. I'd go even further: RHOC is Ultimate Survivor; RHONJ is literal hand-to-hand gladiatorial combat with a cheering Roman coliseum baying for blood. And like @Gray Bunny, I get the stomach knots when I watch. Nevermind them hating each other -- I'm not sure I like many of them.

Dolores has long been my girl on this show, thanks to her sensible nature, and I hope and trust that she will continue to rise above the fray.

Jennifer and Teresa are openly involved in bringing the other team down these days. However, they aren't very good at retaining soldiers (Kim D, Jacqueline, Danielle Staub, Staten Island, associated Twitter pundits) and that spells badly for them.

Jen Fessler is on another level from most of these women in terms of intelligence. So why does she want to get involved with their drama? I liked Fessy a lot last season, but I am curious how she handles her blatant allegiance-shifting. I'm also curious how Marge will handle it.

The whiff of Hawaiian Tropic/red-hot heat of the tanning bed that emanates from Da Huzzbinds! Some of the steroid abuse is also crazy. One of them is literally growing moobs.

Grandma Fuda was funny and, boy, she had some poker face referring to Jennifer as 'Nose Job' while Rachel Fuda's elongated, purpose-built ski-jump was right there.