This is getting old......

[Josh]

WOW! You all wonder why threads get closed? Shall we reread the last 6 pages. I find it so hard to believe that we can't have civilized conversation from everyone on this board! As Moderators, Reporters and other members of the SON team, because I have been the first two in past and closed some threads of mine in the past, I think this is not why SON was created! I have been a part of this community for the last five years and I'm appalled at some of things that are going on here!

In defense Ryan, because yes at the end of the day, he is a very good friend that I have made here, it is our job as moderators to moderate the content posted and displayed here at SON! We run a more closely moderated board as compared to the others, I don't think that we should have to defend our every action at every turn at every move.

First of...if a post is closed and not deleted, everyone be it member or moderator has the right to refer back to it and give just reasons as to why it was closed! I don't believe Ryan brought the subject up, but he has every right, as any moderator would have to defend it.

We should all take a step back and remember that this is a Soap Board and we should keep the drama in daytime and not here.

And if Ryan is like another "moderator" on TV...then I'll gladly be JOYful to him!!! LOL...

[DruRocks]

I think this thread is blown out of proportion actually...

[Josh]

Very well put and also I think that plays a large role in why threads get closed. They get blown out of proportion, we forget what is even being discussed and we start personally attacking people and their views!!!

[Keith]

Shawn, as someone who constantly used to struggle with my attraction to certain men over others, your statements really touched me. It took me a long time to come to the place I am, and I'm totally behind you. Attraction and personal preference is one palce the race card can NOT be played. Sorry. You can't control physical attraction. You can control, though few ever do, bigotry.

Other than that, yes, from what I've seen, it is the attitudes that get posts closed. What's the point of going off on someone in a post? Honestly. Yes, I've been there. Give me a break, I'm in my twenties. I have a lot of growing up to do. There's no need to create drama just because you disagree with someone. For the most part, I just say nothing, because there's really no point in starting things. If I have something to say that is thoughtout, intelligent and not spontaneous, spur of the moment, and probably inappropriate, yeah, I'll chime in.

We all have buttons, and most everyone on here knows each other well enough to push them. Simple as that.

[Sweet_VeeVee24]

DruRocks...at this point, with the way folks treat one another, I just don't want to share my viewpoints about topics that turn out to be all heated and blown out of context.

Folks have gotten downright nasty to one another; and for what? Difference of opinions? Because someone didn't agree with what another person said? At first I thought the nastiness was just in certain topics (mainly the political or topics regarding race), but now, folks are being so nasty to one another in the threads regarding favorite soaps.

As I said earlier in this thread, I try my hardest to respect everyone; but it gets harder for me to do when I see a ton of folks 'hating' on one another, purposely attacking, and finger pointing just to feel good about themselves or feel they can.

I love SON...I love posting here, however, it's really discouraging at times to come on the board, thinking you'll have a good time posting, and you find thread after thread after thread closed because a group of people just can't respect one another.

[Danni]

Shawn, I apologize for my question. It was out of line.

As I said before, when it comes to issues like this, I am passionate about it, and I will defend myself until I'm blue in the face. I'm also not going to mince words because somehow it won't make you feel good about yourself. Talk to anyone who's passionate about racial issues, and I guarantee there will be no soft blows, nor should there be. If you feel the need to insult me, fine. Go right ahead, but that merely shows that you've got nothing to counter anything that I've said. Look at every single thread that had a racial discussion involved. Who was doing the majority of the insulting? I dish out my shots, but there were a hell of a lot of shots taken at me before I even regarded anyone.

Lastly, Ryan and I are friends, but I do not need him to hold my hand nor do I tell him to come and defend me. If he chooses to do so, it's because he wants to. He'll also tell me when I'm out of line, and I respect him for that.

[Shawn]

I'm glad you could relate to my words, Keith, and I'm glad they affected you. It took years for me to come to terms with what I was too. Denial was a constant in my life until one day I looked in the mirror and saw no difference between me and everyone else. We all have certain "types", and I embrace that because if we all were attracted to the same thing, it would be like if we all agreed on every aspect and every subject, and it would become very Stepford Wive-ish. It would be too perfect, and the monotony would be mind numbing. Like the idea that good can't exist without evil, agreements cannot exit without disagreements. It's just in our hands to choose what method, whether it be childish or educated, that we use to get our points across.

[Shawn]

Apology accepted Danni. Thanks for taking the time to say that. I really appreciate it.

[juniorz1]

Frankly, the only nastiness I believe has occurred in this thread went on between JayV and Ryan, and both are big boys and can handle themselves. As Ryan said, so am I. I wish the board was at full function right now because I'd be quoting the hell out of some of you. Instead, I'll post some quick notes:

---If you said something within SON, prepare to be quoted. If you don't want your words to come back and bite you or be used in debates/disputes, keep them to yourself and do not post them.

---I didn't start this thread with the intention of it turning into the "hate" thread, contrary to what some people believe. I was hoping to get an interesting and thought-provoking discussion going, which at times, is exactly what was happening here. If certain 'truths' and invading comfort zones brings out the hate in others, then so be it. I encourage all of you to go back and read this thread from the beginning. Perhaps some of your own 'sh!t' will come to light.

---Some people here whine about things when it's not their place to. Wah, wah, wah, so and so disagrees with me, wah wah wah. Go cry to a mod or whatever authority figure you need to make you feel better. You're gonna have a real fun time in the real world, let me tell ya.

---Did it occur to certain people that just because you have a quota for something doesn't necessarily mean that you lower your standards to meet your quota? Schools in Florida must have a certain amount of African American teachers on contract. Does that mean any POC with a GED can walk in and be given a teaching position? No, it does not.

---This thread was not ever intended to be a hangout for posters with an ax to grind against the mods. Yes, I PMed Kwing and asked him to delete his first post. Sorry that I was trying to start a dialogue about a touchy subject and the first person to reply uses it as a megaphone to sound off about the moderators, and their bias.

---By the way, for those of you calling out mods, you're as good as poster bashing. You may not think you're being specific, but SON has like 2 or 3 active mods right now. They know when they're being addressed.

----Lastly, to put it bluntly, I'm sick of the dismissive attitudes that some people have towards others opinions/perspectives on this board. We all come here to express ourselves and what each and every person in this world says is valid. To make others' feel that they are invalid............Just c'mon, look at what's being talked about today- do you honestly think that is the way to get your viewpoints across?

[Danni]

I want to go back to my first question that no one has seemed to answer, and I would appreciate takers.

What should I or any POC do when we try to address racial issues to facilitate change, but the very people who need to be educated on these things basically shut themselves off from it, be dismissive of it as playing the "race card" and say "get over it"?

[mateo22]

Danni,

It can be a very frustrating task when trying to get your point across to people who are not willing to accept it. It falls back a lot on that old cliche, 'You, yourself have to want to change' and no one else can make you. So if these people, who we(and I say we because I think we are on the same side here, as with a lot of us) want to debate with are not willing to listen or look at different perspectives, than all we can do is continue speak our minds and hope that eventually they will hear/listen.

If/When it gets to the point where the opposing side seems to only be resorting to useless nonsense/prejudice than there is nothing really that can be done. People who choose to stay ignorant have to find some way to change that before anything will ever get through.

[KLN]

There's not much you can do when someone's absolutely not willing to open their mind. Just like an alcoholic, or a drug abuser... you can only help those who want to be helped. If they have no interest in hearing what you have to say, they'll just shut their ears off and tune you out.

I'm gay, and over the years I've tried to convince many people that some of the things they say and do in regards to 'us gay folk' is wrong and filled with hatred, but never once have I been fully successful in getting anyone to understand -- and I can be quite convincing when I want to be. It's not until months or years down the road that they finally come back and say, "Y'know what, Kenny? You were right."

As for fighting to defend yourself when you feel that you've been discriminated against, you and the rest of us have that right entirely. But beyond defending yourself, you'll never get your word heard (and understood) by someone if they don't want to hear it. There's no way around it. You can scream, shout, look them dead in the eye and say what you want to say word for word and it'll do no good if their heart isn't in it. It's insanely frustrating, but you just have to take comfort in the fact that you're much more intelligent and advanced and seasoned with life experience than they are. In time, they'll learn.

[Danni]

But then that also begs the question of whether or not we should just resign to blatant regression of the Civil Rights Movement or keep fighting.

[Shawn]

Well I guess the standard situation would be to tell the stubborn person to put themselves in the shoes of the groups of people that are experiencing discrimination. Often, I find, this makes the person turn a deaf ear and become even more isolated from a solution.

[Andre]

If they're as insistent about their view as you are about your own, I'd say getting over it is the best opinion. Opinions have been exchanged. You are expecting to change someone's mind on a soap opera board? If anything, this thread has shown how stubborn people can be.