Members Bright Eyes Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 When you're there you should confidentally and casually ask to get coffee once before he leaves. I don't know how long he's still around, but text him a day or two later and if he's seems up for it then he totally is willing to talk it out. If he seems skittish, then you know he just wanted to not be a virgin anymore. That's exactly what I think it is. He's just happy to know his first time is over and done with, but since you're all weird and feely about it ... And most importantly, don't overstay your welcome and arrive fashionably late. The rule of thumb is to leave at the point where you're having the best time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members All My Shadows Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 He's leaving three days after the party, and I'd imagine that would be tons of family time and what-not. IDK. Maybe we'll have a moment at the party. I could live with knowing that he just wanted to lose his V-card (he was only a virgin to guys when I had him, though, so I don't know if losing that was really important to him); I just need any kind of closure. If he straight up said "That was a mistake, I didn't know what I was doing, I don't ever want to think about it or see you ever again," then I'm perfectly fine with that as well. I just need for SOMETHING to replace these question marks. LOL when I arrive will be dependent on my friend. The party is wayyyyyyyyyy down the bayou, and she lives wayyyyy up another bayou, so I'm sure we'll be nothing if not fashionably late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SFK Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 Okay, go. As if you weren't going to, ha! As I was reading your response to my post, I thought what Bright Eyes would later suggest: go and take the situation by the balls by confidently asking him if he wants to grab coffee before he leaves. Ask him after his band plays a set and you've had a chance to talk about "his music" for a bit. If the conversation takes off, tell him you don't want to keep him from his guests and you guys should meet for coffee and you'll call/text him. And you will. And he will or will not respond, or have the time, but you could at least get a satisfying conversation via text, i.e., "I totally understand, no worries... Are you nervous?... Where are you stationed again?... Wow. Well I wish you all the best, I'm really glad I got the chance to meet you, we see eye to eye on a lot of things... If you ever need to talk" yadda yadda. You will VERY quickly get the impression that he'd just like to forget about what happened, if that's the case, by the way he responds to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SFK Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 By the way, I know I've been guilty of it myself, but people who don't respond to texts can be added to my Pet Peeves! thread. My ex-girlfriend and I had a huge disagreement and she wasn't talking to me. I asked her to at least send me a text letting me know that she was okay. That bitch sent me a period ("."), ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members All My Shadows Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 This could work, but I guess it's just a question of time. In the two or so days before he leaves (the party is Saturday night, he leaves Tuesday), would he even have time to spend on someone he spent one night with three months ago? But then again, if we were to start a conversation at the party and it takes off, then that could open up more possibilities. I like the idea of kinda subtly acknowledging that this whole thing was a huge deal for me whilst showing that I'm cool with it not being that important to him. "I liked what I got to know about you...wish I could have gotten to know you a little better...but I can understand why you might not have wanted that." Ugh. I don't know, yall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members All My Shadows Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 Ugh. I'm immensely guilty of this! Messages of all kinds, really. Texts, FB messages, even PMs here on SON. I have this weird psychology going on where I feel as if I respond too quickly, the other person will feel obligated to respond just as quickly, so I don't want them to feel like they HAVE to respond right away. So I wait...then I end up forgetting. IDK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SFK Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 Oh man, this happened three months ago?? I guess I forgot that part of the story. For some reason I was thinking this happened like two weeks ago. It's tough. At this point, I'm sure we're all just as curious as you are to know what's going on inside his head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nate4 Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 I hate when people do that. it's not [!@#$%^&*] first grade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SFK Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 I love her, respect her, and miss her, but good God, the silent treatment [!@#$%^&*] used to drive me up the [!@#$%^&*] WALL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Winchester91 Posted September 30, 2013 Members Share Posted September 30, 2013 I sympathise with that, but I must say that I've been hella guilty of giving people the cold shoulder on my part. ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members All My Shadows Posted October 1, 2013 Members Share Posted October 1, 2013 Considering the things we talked about...it's like, does he normally keep all that bottled up or does he usually have someone else that he talks to who just wasn't there that night, or...?? I don't even know. It's just bizarre, still. But you're not telling us about how you Brooke Logan'd all the female branches of her family tree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SFK Posted October 1, 2013 Members Share Posted October 1, 2013 Ha! If only... A huge sticking point of our relationship was that I am super close with my family and her relationship with hers was strained. She'd get pissed when I wanted to visit home and I often neglected my family to keep her happy. When my mother passed suddenly I suppressed it but I can't deny that I am extremely pissed that I lost precious moments with my mom that I will never get back all for a girl who is no longer in my life. !@#$%^&*] me! !@#$%^&*] her! God knows, if I could do it all over again... Anyone who plays against your gut is not for you. Don't be afraid to hurt someone's feelings when their feelings are begging to be hurt. There are rights and there are wrongs in this life. Run to the rights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members All My Shadows Posted October 2, 2013 Members Share Posted October 2, 2013 I'm learning that every day, SFK. I'm really starting to make decisions for me now, which in this case, isn't a bad thing, because for so long, almost everything I've done has been about trying to please the people around me. It's not a "you can't please everyone" situation, because generally most people in my life want the same things for me, but the problem is that I'm not so sure I can give them those things. IDK. Meanwhile, the graduate has announced via Facebook that he is "in a relationship" with some crooked mouth ho that he was working with. Excuse me while I become bitter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khan Posted October 2, 2013 Members Share Posted October 2, 2013 I love that. That is BEGGING to be a line of dialogue in a series. Is the "crooked mouth ho" a female, AMS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members All My Shadows Posted October 2, 2013 Members Share Posted October 2, 2013 I feel like "Run to the rights" is absolutely nothing without a "chile" at the end. Yes, he has a girlfriend. Oddly enough, I remember him telling me a little bit about her and, as a testament to my utter saintliness that night, I urged him to try things out with her, because I could tell he needed someone to love him. There I go again, taking care of everybody but me. Of course, if she doesn't know about his affinity for penises, I could torpedo that relationship in an epic, epic way. But I'm not that bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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