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Scotty

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I'm going to ask a stupid question...lol..but how do u know a guy is gay?? I know..but my gaydar is very bad...met this new guy..well I knew of him...he works for the same place i do but now he for the meantime works closer to me...lol...at first when I met him I thought he was hot and was hoping to work closely with him but it didnt happen. i was assigned another guy to work with me....but he recently left and was assigned Mr. Handsome...lol...He had come by a few weeks before and thought he was an !@#$%^&*]...lol...but after spending more time with him my view of him has changed.

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  • 3 months later...
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Not quite sure if my Mac has found himself a Rachel, or if my Victor has found himself a Dorian, but at any rate, this Iris/Viki is trying his best not to lose his [!@#$%^&*]. Pray for me SON saints!

As for porn, I would marry Jada Stevens tomorrow. I don't want to get banned, but if you are so inclined, Google image "Jada Stevens gif" for the booty that can launch a thousand ships. ph34r.png

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  • 4 months later...
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OK, so months and months and months -- nearly a year -- later, here I am to update you all on what's been going on in the love life of AMS.

First, let me just say. 2012...has been f!cking nuts. Absolutely crazy. I did something I'd been scared to do since childhood, I made it through something I wanted so desperately to quit on, and I've asserted myself and opened up in ways I never thought I'd be able to. In short, 2012 has been hard, but it's been extremely rewarding!!

Part of the reason why I've been a little hesitant about telling the story here is because the story is so complicated and soapy that anyone involved who stumbles upon this thread on this message board on this site would immediately know what it's all about and that I'm the one posting it. I'm willing to risk that, though, for the sake of bringing good drama to you all.

So, Christmas came and went. I became adamant about trying things out with work guy (who we'll call Scott). I ended up writing something that was more sweet/friendly than flirty in the Christmas card, and he really appreciated it. Nothing amazing happened as I'd hoped -- no big displays of sudden love and affection -- but it was a beginning. The next few weeks went on as the previous weeks had gone. I constantly took the initiative to strike up conversations with him, and it always took him a little time to feel like he could be himself around me, but I worked hard to earning his trust and making him feel comfortable. Things were moving very slowly, but they were moving, and that was good.

Things started to pick up in late January/early February. Our work family is mostly young 20somethings, and we like to drink, dance, and have a good time. We started going out to clubs/bars together, and we ALWAYS had fabulous times. I'd never been one to go out and party before, so this whole thing was new to me, and it took me a little while to adjust, but once I did, I was totally into it. I got addicted to the feeling of my mind going blank and my body just moving to the music, feeling the bodies of other random people moving along with my own. It was through these nights out that me and "Scott" got to be closer friends. On one particular night, however, his ex joined our group. Scott and his ex, who we'll call Mark, have an extremely long history together. They were basically each other's first loves, dating back to high school, and for them, this was about 10 years ago. They were on and off through high school, and then mostly off for the years following. Up until very recently (this summer), they were friends with benefits and would f!ck every other weekend. Knowing all of this, when I saw his ex back in the picture, I very easily declared defeat and was quite content with waiting for my feelings for Scott to die so that I could move on to my next dead end crush. On the night Mark joined us, however, there was a certain coldness between the two. As the night ended and the alcohol was wearing off, I watched intently as Scott stared hard at Mark from across the table. Mark would not touch him the whole night, wouldn't even dance with him. I constantly asked Scott if he was all right, but he shrugged it off -- said he was "fine," but I knew better. We ended up sitting with a girl friend of ours in her car, where Scott proceeded to go the f!ck off on Mark, explaining how Mark always makes him feel worthless and stupid. Of COURSE, two things sucked me back into wanting Scott: his insecurities and vulnerabilities coming out (I have sort of a hero/savior complex), and the fact that he and Mark seemed to be through. About a week later, though, he and Mark seemingly reconciled, and I was somewhat dismayed, but I soon realized that the two of them would/could never possibly have anything more than sex with each other.

Time marched on. More nights out, more drinking, more dancing. More talks at work, more getting to know one another. My feelings grew, and I wanted so desperately to just tell him that I was really, really, really feeling him and his style. But once again, my own insecurities and fears got in the way. The fear of rejection, the fear of humiliation, the fear of...pity? I don't even know all of what I was scared of, but I was just scared to tell him how I felt. And so I didn't. I dropped the vaguest of vague hints as often as I felt comfortable doing, but if he didn't bite on every single one of them, tAllhen I'd feel discouraged and withdraw.

April came around, and the whole drama started to really kick into gear. A new gay guy started working with us, and we'll call him "Tommy." Tommy is much younger than me, and much, much younger than Scott. I fell for Tommy HARD and quickly. I thought he was sweet, nice, cute, friendly, and an interesting person to talk to. By this point, I'd gotten a lot more confidence in myself and I'd gotten much much bolder, and so I was ready to pursue Tommy. My complicated feelings for Scott had started to take their toll on me, so I was ready to put them away and focus on this new guy. He was younger, he seemed to be less experienced at things than Scott, and so he was a less intimidating prospect for me. I wanted to be slow about it, though, so I tried to make friends with him first. I would go out of my way to be nice to him and to show him that I liked him as a person. He wanted to hang out with our group, so we invited him to celebrate Scott's birthday with us in the city. He was nervous about it, so I made a friendly promise to help him have a good time. Big mistake. The day after I told him I'd help him have a good time in the city, we all went on a group outing to an out-of-town amusement park (sans Scott). All throughout the day, it felt as if Tommy was avoiding me. Not only that, but he was also spending a LOT of time with another guy in our group, whom we'll call Andrew. A little background on Andrew. I mentioned him upthread as the guy who I thought might have been interested in Scott as well. It didn't take me long to realize that he was definitely not into Scott, so I was pretty much cool with him. We got along well, and he was fun to hang out with. But anyway, the day went on, and I have a very perceptive mind. In the back of my mind, I knew that there was a reason why Tommy and Andrew were avoiding me, and why things were extremely awkward any time we were close to each other. Without going into too much detail, it was a very ugly, humiliating day, and it set me back so many steps. I eventually voiced my suspicions to my best friend when we were alone, expecting her to tell me that I was just being paranoid, but she ended up telling me the truth. Turns out, Tommy had misinterpreted my friendly promise to show him a good time in the city as a sleazy come-on. Not only that, but he'd shared this misinterpretation with Andrew, and the two of them had giggled and gossiped about it all day. Like I said, this set me back MANY, MANY STEPS, and by the end of the day, I was starting to feel very depressed. Tommy's rejection, before I'd even made a real effort with him, triggered just about all of the shame that I was afraid would come out with Scott, and it hurt a lot, and I was more than a little depressed.

The following night, we all went to the city for Scott's birthday. By some dramatic twist of fate, I ended up having to ride to the city with Tommy, Andrew, and a girl we'll call "Lindsey" (who'd ALSO had feelings for Tommy and tried to seduce him, but she'd been unsuccessful -- she'd ALSO giggled and gossiped about me the day before as well). We got together at Lindsey's house and put up on our finishing touches for club-hopping, and when I realized that all of the awkwardness of the day before was still very much alive, I immediately started drinking. I knew damn well I wasn't gonna get through the car ride to the city sober, so I got the ball rolling before we even left. BEST decision ever. I didn't give a damn about them being catty towards me, and I didn't even give a damn when I realized Tommy and Andrew were getting a little closer and closer to each other. By the time we got to the city, I was having a damn good time, and I just did not CARE about anything anymore. I didn't even care about Scott much anymore. I figured if Tommy would reject me and humiliate me before I even TRIED to get with him, Scott would react the exact same way. I accepted it and was cool with it. Even after Scott and I shared three drunken kisses that night, I just did not care anymore. He was drunk, I was drunk, and he was making out with everybody, so it was no big deal.

The night ended, and I still didn't care. Of course, after the liquor wore off, I was depressed and I felt like sh!t. I felt like I really had been wasting my time with Scott, and I was prepared to just accept (without the aid of alcohol) that nothing was going to happen, even though I had no REAL reason to accept such a thing besides my own ASSUMPTIONS that nothing would ever happen. The heartbreak with Tommy was enough that I didn't even want to entertain the possibility of a repeat performance with Scott. The week went on, I felt myself starting to go back to normal, still not obsessing so much over my feelings for Scott. The following weekend, several of us all went out to a local bar, and it was somewhat of a repeat of the night in the city. Tommy and Andrew were "officially" a couple, Scott was busy having fun with Mark, and I felt left out in the cold. Okay, whatever. I was done trying to fit in with this group of slutty gays.

Then the sh!t hit the fan.

A week after the night at the local bar, there was an ENORMOUS falling out between Scott and one of his oldest, dearest friends, a girl we'll call Jennifer. He, Jennifer, and Mark had been close friends in high school, and so they'd been through a lot together. Jenn is also extremely close friends with Lindsey. The sh!t hit the fan, and I had absolutely no idea what had happened. All I knew was that Jenn, Lindsey, and Andrew all hated Scott, Mark, Tommy, and another guy we work with, whom we'll call Keith. I didn't know what happened, and a large part of me didn't even want to know, but like I said, I have a very perceptive mind, and I pretty much had it all figured out before anyone told me anything.

I'll stop right there for now, just to give you all a break! Like I said, a TON of sh!t happened over this year, particularly the summer, and it was absolutely nuts. I hope to god no one happens to find this post :lol:

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Interesting interesting...sounds like a MarDar story...no payoff....LMAO...and you leave your fans hanging with a cliffhanger....lol....gawd how i hate slutty gays.....ive know one and he was a pain in the ass. So was Scott a good kisser?? Or do you even remember?;;lol

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