Edited January 2, 200817 yr by Ryan Chandler
Added New Picture

Oh hell, AMS.... you should definately ask him out. Or let him know in some way. Don't be intimidated by his looks, I've had people not ask me out because they thought I was "too pretty" and I wish they would have! That don't happen no more, getting old is a bitch! LOL And also don't worry about the body thing. Yes, the gay community is filled with gym bunnies who look down upon anyone without a six pack, but you don't WANT these shallow queens, so if he turns you down for that reason, look upon it as dodging a bullet. One of those VERY bitches told me I was too fat "but I'll work it of of ya" right to my face.... I'm 5'11", and at the time I was 172 pounds. Gym bunnies will usually have a certain type of personality, though... and shy and giggly ain't it. Don't fear rejection too much... it goes back to that "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" thing.

I don't know if I should ask him out, per se. We're not "there" yet, but what I want to do is at least make it clear to him that I'm interested, just like I'd like it if he made it clear to me that he's interested (or not, whatever the situation may be). He's not a gym bunny at all, trust me, but he's pretty fit and lean, and knowing several of his exes, I figure he generally sticks to guys who are the same. IDK. I don't think he would be shallow, but I could be wrong...and the "could be" is enough for me to be terrified.

The problem, though, is that I can NOT flirt with gay guys to save my life. I've flirted with enough straight guys to last a lifetime, though, and it's because I know that when they reject me, it's not because of me, it's because they're straight. Being rejected by a gay guy, though, means that it's something wrong with me. IDK. I have very brittle feelings

AMS, glad you're thinking of "work guy." "HS Guy" is just playing with you. He knows and he's flattered, but it's not going anywhere else.

I don't think that's the case, but I do agree that it's a dead end with him, so yeah. As far as someone being flattered and taking advantage of my feelings? Been there, done that...and never. a-f!ckin-gain.

Oh and to make things more interesting, there's another guy at work who I think is pretty clearly going after "my" guy as well. I've been doing some Erica Kane-type sh!t the last few days to get him out of the picture, but I have to keep remembering, I have Secret Santa, therefore, I have the advantage.

Okay, I have to ask. And this may be too much but what does everyone think about......pubic hair? I was just having this conversation with a group of friends. I find it disgusting and don't think anyone should have it. You?

LOL...I dont see any problem with it. Or should I say I dont have a problem talking about it.

Thank you all for your advice! In my mind, I'm pretty set on the work guy for right now. If something should happen with the other guy, then we'll see, but once I get over the novelty of thinking about my first crush, work guy has all of my attention.

Of course, the story with work guy isn't so easy either, but it's really all on my end. This goes back to all of the rejection talk from last week. I'm EXTREMELY self-conscious and VERY hasty when it comes to declaring some kind of romantic interest in someone. Basically, the story with this guy started a few months ago. My best friend has been working at our store for several years, and she's gotten very close to a lot of the people there over that time, and one of those people is the guy I'm interested in. He broke up with his boyfriend in around March or April, and around that time, I'd constantly complain to my BFF about being single/lonely/impatient/etc, and she'd always mention "this cute gay guy at work." At the time, I thought nothing of it at all because I really had no intentions of working there or meeting the guy, so it was just whatever. When I finally applied there (something I should have done years ago, mind you, because AMS has been broke for most of his college experience), I finally saw him for the first time and was totally blown away by how GORGEOUS he is, but we barely spoke or anything, so again, I didn't think much of it. In the back of my mind, I hoped that something could happen, though. We became Facebook friends, and after a while, I could tell that we share a lot of things in common as far as outlook on life, taste in music, morals/values, etc. The trouble, of course, is that he is extremely shy around people he's just met, and so am I, so there were a lot of awkward moments of silence between us at work. It didn't take long for us to start having brief conversations, though, and then we'd start to make that type of small talk that you only make with people you're comfortable with (trivial things like "Sh!t, it's cold in here today" and "I'm tired of these damn customers!"). All the while, my interest was getting stronger, and as it became clear to me that he was feeling the lonesome wintertime blues and was looking for someone, I started to wonder...why CAN'T that person be me? To make it even more pressing, we're doing a secret Santa pull at work, and of course, I pulled his name, so now a part of me is thinking the fates are either trying to give me the courage or are in need of some serious LOLs at my expense.

I'm just so TERRIFIED of being rejected. Absolutely terrified. In all my 21 years, rarely have I ever opened myself up that way to anyone. All throughout school, my serious crushes were on straight boys, so I had a legitimate excuse to be tight-lipped about my feelings. I came out to one guy that I really, really liked, and that resulted in two years of being led on and taken for granted and what-not. I don't think the same thing would happen with this guy (for one, he's four years older than me), but I'm more concerned about whether or not he would be the least bit interested in me. I may not have let enough of the things we have in common shine through enough for him to say "Hmm, I could enjoy spending time with that guy." Also, like I said, he is incredibly adorable and has a nearly flawless body. AMS...does not. I'm not huge by any definition of the word, but I'm way more "average" than I'd like to be, and as much as I don't think this guy is shallow or superficial, I think he might have a very specific type that he primarily goes after, and I'm not it. At the same time, though, I have this *winning* personality of mine that manages to charm hoes in different area codes. I've talked vaguely about it to my BFF, and she thinks I should give it a try, and I kinda fell into a conversation about it with the guy's closest co-worker (they are both in charge of a major part of our store operations and have been for yeeeeears), and she also thinks it's worth a shot. But I'm still terrified.

Anyway, my plan for now is to write something in the card I got him for Christmas, and it must be something very sweet but also mildly flirty so that if his antenna is in any way at all pointed in my direction, he can get the signals, but if not, it can just be written off as me being all mushy and syrupy for the holidays. I have a general idea of what I want to write, but I'm kinda holding off on that because I have this strange feeling that something's going to happen within the next few weeks (the party is going to be after Christmas.....I know, right?) that will drastically change what I want to write to him.

And damn, that was long! I told yall I needed this thread!

Oh, and I should mention, there have indeed been reasons for me to suspect that he might feel the same way. He always breaks into this severe case of smiles and giggles whenever he has to talk to me about something at work, and whenever I steal a glance at him, guess where his eyes are already directed. Anytime I gather up the strength to ask him something work-related, it's almost like there's an understood sense of "We like each other, but we're both very nervous."

Your story sounds a lot like mine. Mine was a summer crush that went south. Good luck with your guy. As much as I say I wouldnt have approached him....I would do it all over again. Go for it AMS.

I've had the flu almost all week...ugh...on a brightside I finally got my laptop I wanted....yay!

Love eating some tamales...soo good

I never knew this thread was here! How exciting lol. AMS, your story is a page turner! I can't wait to see what happens. I have the same problem where I'm really shy. I'm very outgoing in general, but when it comes to guys I'm just too afraid of rejection. I can see a hot guy looking at me and giving me all the right signals, but I can't go that next step to seal the deal. I always think second guess myself, then regret it. But sometimes my inner hussy comes out and I own it and can dominate a room, but that's usually when I'm not looking and just want attention lol. My new years resolution needs to be to focus on dating more. 2011 was a dry year for me in that regard.

Right now I have a work guy in the works, but it's very complicated and involves that aformentioned hussy side. I'm the biggest flirt, but when every now and then somebody takes you seriously then I don't know what to do. That's where I'm at now. A sea of contradictions basically.

Good grief, I just took my mom to see a new chiropractor today, and WOW was he a hunk. I hope I wans't being too obvious ... but I'm sure I was looking at him like he was the last pork chop on the platter. My friends tell me I do this, but I don't see it.

Okay, I have to ask. And this may be too much but what does everyone think about......pubic hair? I was just having this conversation with a group of friends. I find it disgusting and don't think anyone should have it. You?

Wow, I dunno the completely waxed/shaved thing is so ridiculous to me and I know it's caught on with straight guys too. I don't want to feel like I'm wih a preteen... Keeping things in check is well and good, but...

I assume you don't like body hair in general then (because nothing is more ridiculous than someone being clean shaven down there and having even a bit of chest hair--believe me, I've seen)

Wow, I dunno the completely waxed/shaved thing is so ridiculous to me and I know it's caught on with straight guys too. I don't want to feel like I'm wih a preteen... Keeping things in check is well and good, but...

I assume you don't like body hair in general then (because nothing is more ridiculous than someone being clean shaven down there and having even a bit of chest hair--believe me, I've seen)

And Eric responds ...lol

Yeah - I don't like body hair at all! lol

Yeah - I don't like body hair at all! lol

... shame...

I am not a hairy person, but there are a couple of places where I wish I could eradicate body hair for good. One such place is my neck.

Yeah - I don't like body hair at all! lol

Then it's more for me!!!

I can not date/hook up/whatever with a guy who has no body hair. They just look to juvenile to me.

I am not a hairy person, but there are a couple of places where I wish I could eradicate body hair for good. One such place is my neck.

I have a lot of body hair but trim--and am lucky my neck seems to be fine (though I tend to keep a five o'clock shadow but do shave under my chin). But I am starting to get some hair on my vcery lower back which I'd gladly be rid of (it's a good thing I've had a few cocktails lol)

I've always preferred guys with chest hair...body hair...not a gorilla though....lol but seeing Chandler Massey....wow...and he's all smooth.....I guess I am attracted to hairy guys cause I am mostly smooth except legs....lol