Cat

It is getting increasingly hard to like anybody on RHoNJ, and Bravo better watch out because Season 3 (or was it 4?) of RHoNY was the same way and Andy Cohen had to get rid of 75% of the cast. What can we say about Teresa and Sloppy Joe that hasn't already been said? These two can never be happy or supportive of others. They live in a perpetual fantasy in which they are acting-acting-acting in front of the public. When a good 100 people show up to your book signing, it's hard not to believe your own hype and get high off the adulation. Caroline's VT about how Teresa's quest for fame and money broke her husband and how a well-spun split is only a matter of time, a split which will undoubtedly reboot the Teresa narrative and keep her viable for the tabloids, was right on the money. But dissing the Skinnygirl brand, Teresa? Now, I don't know what SG margaritas taste like and I don't have particularly strong feelings about Bethenny Frankel either way, but Andy *LOVES* her. More than any other HW, Bethenny is his BFF. He likely has a stake in her brand, and he prob is not appreciative of Teresa poopooing a Bravo-related franchise. Meanwhile, I can't really warm to Kathy and Richie -- I used to think Richie was hilarious, but the way these two bitch about Teresa and Joe is wearying. Move on, people, move on with your life. They aren't worth it. It all belies Kathy's "hopes" and "wishes" of reconciliation with her cousin. Basically, it was done to create story for Kathy because Rosie "coming out" wasn't gelling. Her pastries really do look delicious, though, and I truly hope she launches a business from all this. Poor Chris Laurita, holding his head in his hands as Juicy, Joey and Richie sling random recriminations at each other pretty much summed up how I feel. This feud may not be done for them, but it is for me.

I remember watching the first ever RHoOC episode... I think Jeana was the first HW featured and her segment felt longer and more in-depth than the others (including Lauri, Jo, Vicki et al). Maybe because she was so direct and no-BS in presenting her life, the good and the bad. It was clear from that first episode that Jeana was the matriarch/tentpole of the show and that other HWs looked to her for friendship or somebody against whom to measure themselves. I'm glad she left on her own terms but I still wish she would return for next season.

Hot... and likely gay. Adrienne is either completely stupid pissing off Bravo and her RH co-stars like that -- or super smart keeping herself viable à la Teresa Giudice. Either way, she's been on my [!@#$%^&*] list since she threw Lisa under the bus at Reunion. IA. In fact, I think Briana is so great, they should add her as a housewife or at least guest housewife to the cast. And if they could get Jeana (and even Kara) back, I would be insane with joy.

I gave up RHoA halfway through this most recent season so... yeah. RHoNJ needs a major revamp. I think Caroline, Jacqueline and Kathy will be the ones to get cut.

LOL I can't deny that I love watching Gia and Milania (and Gabriella who finally spoke!) even though I hate Teresa. I can't warm to the Manzo kids but I love Chris L. Divided loyalties, jp!

Things I learned from Sunday's infomercial for BLK water/Brownstone sauce/"Rock Star"/Richie's Wife's Cookies: -Joey Gorga has a major foot fetish -Gia dances like she is going to physically assault somebody -Milania is amazing. Witness her outing daddy sleeping in a separate bedroom -Chris Laurita is still hot as SIN to me. Questions: How cares about the Manzo kids throwing up and Greg? Why on earth were Melissa's sisters crying at Beatstock?! Was Juicy Joe channeling David Gest at Beatstock?

I did feel a teensy bit sorry for Alexis because they went all out for her at the Reunion. Then I remembered that she put all this mess upon herself with her brainless boasting, so...

Good lord. Probably. This budget trampoline park for kids sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Perhaps Alexis is using her boffo lips and boobs as bouncy inflatables.

Ah yes the rhinoplasty which confined her to bed for WEEKS. Because it was so DANGEROUS and a MEDICAL EMERGENCY. She couldn't BREATHE without it. I had forgotten about the trampoline park. Six Flags are shaking in their boots, y'all.

RHoNY: London Baby! My (current) hometown! So perhaps you guys might have found the episode boring, but I was all "OMG! The Mayfair hotel! I walk past it on my way to work!" The Mayfair is where the RH had their insane penthouse suite. Carole continues to be a whirlwind of quiet fabulousness, whether it is showing everyone her former home in London (in Notting Hill, how trendy!) or refusing to stand up and talk about "what Yummie Tummie means" to her. This chick is zero bullshit and I love that. I love even more how much she is showing up LuAnn, and LuAnn is going to work her last nerve very soon. LuAnn is working overtime to try and fit in with this new set, but Ramona is starting to stick out like a sore thumb as the blousy, loud, less sophistiqué housewife. She is turning it to her advantage for now, but I LOL at her having a coughing fit in the middle of Aviva inviting her down to Miami. BTW, Aviva's prosthetic leg truly is a work of art.

This MUST be Alexis. I'm assuming Heather is here to stay, Gretchen has handbags to sell (plus Slave would have zero comedic/radio "career" if she wasn't on the show), Tamra is a RHoOCer for life and Vicki has to keep Brooks in the style in which he has become accustomed. So Jim put his foot down, huh? What a blowfish-faced idiot. RH money was probably the last steady income stream the Bellinos had coming in.

Oh, totally the kids! They are so much more entertaining. I also think Kathy's son is hilarious. It is sad about Lauren -- I was like that about 5 years ago. I didn't even realize that everything coming out of my mouth consisted of putting myself down while at the same time projecting that self-hatred onto others. It has been a real retraining exercise for me to actually listen to what I was saying, ask myself why I was so negative, and fix the underlying issues. I feel a lot happier and more positive now, and I only hope that for Lauren, these are twentysomething growing pains and that she will gain more confidence in herself. Maybe watching the show will be that A-Ha Moment for her where she goes "What am I saying? Why am I so down on myself?" Joey & Chris L were hilarious. And deeply hot! BTW, what is OTP?

Have felt for a while I would much rather watch the kids -- especially Milania who sends her father running in fear, and Gia's search for fame and talent -- then some of the grown-up antics on this show. Lauren Manzo has such a negative attitude. Whining and pissing and moaning and calling her brothers girlfriends whores. I hope in watching the episode, she will realize how immature she is. Joe Gorga putting his hand on Chris Laurita's lap and Chris moving it to his groin was

RHoV: And did you see after Ronnie was telling the story about poor Remy not breathing for 22 minutes and then being in a coma (I honestly had tears listening to her), Jody has to try and one-up her with the tragic tale of Mia's busted rhinoplasty?

RHoNJ: Low-key episode, but for the first time, I really got hit by the inappropriate vibes between Teresa and Joey Gorga. Up til now I had attributed the anger to jealousy over a younger, prettier housewife (Melissa) and wanting to be top cat on the show. But when Joey came to the therapist's office and was all "You look... sexy" and Teresa giggled like an infatuated schoolgirl and crossed her legs, all I could think was woah there, you two. This feud/obsession has left Crazy and Ridiculous and entered the realm of All Kind's of Wrong. The therapist seems great, though. RHoNY: WTF? They still haven't left for London?! I enjoyed Holla driving Ramona to distraction, though. She really knows how to play her, to the point where Ramona threw her one ally, Aviva, under the bus! Carole is once again pure awesomeness, whether it is handling Pinot Grigio, going on a date or getting her pilot greenlighted. I kind of want to see this show she is writing. Luann is superfluous to requirements.

<div align='center'><a href='http://www.buddytv.com/closedquiz/closed-quiz.aspx?quiz=100000030'>Which Real Housewife of Orange County Are You?<br /><img src='http://www.buddytv.com/closedquiz/images/results/realoc_lynne.jpg' /></a><br /> More on <a href="http://www.buddytv.com">Created by BuddyTV</a></div> Gah. I got Lynne. She was a bore. I was hoping for Jeana, maybe Lauri, heck I'd be happy with Tamra! And I am NOT lazy!

In a movie-music frame of mind, I'm listening to John Barry, specifically the soundtrack to On Her Majesty's Secret Service: <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.c...bed/CYt4XEhCeUs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I was thinking how much I liked that end music! I didn't realize they play it every OC finale, even though it is a familiar theme. It perfectly fits the theme of "two steps forward/three steps back" we get with what these women are saying and the choices they actually end up making. Dr. Terry is a break-out Househusband, up there with Chris Laurita as far as I'm concerned. He and Heather seem an especially well-matched couple.

Chris B's analysis is so on-point, I think he shouldl open up a consultancy and rake in $$$ as chief analyst specialising in the RH franchise. RHoOC: What to say about this show which has totally turned itsef around? That was the longest cocktail party ever! First of all -- the clothing. I'm not even going to talk about the wicked-witch cloak that drunken mess Sarah was wearing -- I was too distracted by Slave's (typo, and it stays) amazing turtleneck of Grey Poupon-ness. This was then overshadowed by Jim "Who wears the pants in this family?" Bellino dressed as a casino croupier -- I'm assuming that is his night job when he's not "investing." Finally, we have Vicki in that mangy dead bear that Brooks shot and skinned in the Bayou. Speaking of Brooks, we finally saw his true, manipulative conman colors. Not that we didn't see them before (remembering the way he talked to Briana when they first met still makes my skin crawl), but this time we know -- this guy is evil, a user and bad news. If Vicki wants to cut off her family and friends in favor of this free-loading loser, so be it. Speaking of free-loading losers, I was loving Gretchen right up until the end -- she wants to make a baby with Slade? Is she as dumb as Alexis? Seeing Jim tell his bimbo wife "I wear the pants in the family" made me choke. And she goes scurrying after Jimbo after he leaves her behind at the party, and when she gets to the car, she's all "Thank you, honey." Good grief. Andy Cohen, please pass her the name of a good divorce lawyer. I don't thinnk Jim convinced her to give up the Fox 5 job, though -- I think Fox 5 fired her because she was so dreadful. And now they are opening a "trampoline (which I read as trailer) park"? Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous! I wonder if Briana will become a Housewife next season? Can't wait for Reunion!

I guess I can accept that. She wouldn't have owned up if she hadn't got caught in going to Danielle behind Tre's back but Melissa is a smart lady and knew the best way was to admit it and apologise for it clearly and concisely. Not try to rationalize it because that is what Tre would do. Tre had no choice but to accept the apology -- especially if she wants to start an alliance with her family and a Twitter crusade against Caroline and Jacqueline. I don't want to say that Teresa has no feelings because I think she does -- you can see it in her eyes when Juicy Joe dismisses her. However, she has no empathy for others. She can't put herself in the shoes of somebody else and relate to the feelings they are experiencing. She has no clue how and why Jacqueline feels the way she does. She is just this cold machine, spitting out in VTs what she thinks the audience wants to hear from her. Her random "psycho bitch!" about Jacq was a case in point. WTF?

But there is a difference between "owning it" and getting caught out. That's what bothers me about Melissa -- I just wish she would be upfront. She is smart, she is ambitious, she wants fame and a great life and I don't blame her. I am not a fan of her singing but I am a fan of her excitement at talking to Ryan Seacrest. I am a fan of her joyous boogying to the remix. I am a fan of her dressing up and doing her hair for an over-the-phone radio interview. I am a fan of her being realistic about Seacrest and positive about her song despite lots of hate tweets. Then she goes and spoils it all by pretending she's just humble ole melissa and her husband is the one who is pushing her forward. Girl please! You are fooling nobody with that "Aww, shucks. Who, me? Lil ole me?" act. Not to mention that she and Joe Gorga (who I love) threw her sister-in-law under the bus in exchange for appearing on RHoNJ in the first place. They promised conflict with Teresa and they'd "unmask the real Teresa" if they could come on the show. It seems like such a little thing now given all that has happened, but if it were me and my brother and his wife did that, I would be majorly pissed for a while. Even Dina isn't pulling that [!@#$%^&*] with Caroline on the show. However, Teresa is a dead-eyed, crazy psycho who has NEVER wanted to come out and confront Melissa (or anybody for that matter) on any of this. She was FORCED to confront her in the last episode because Melissa wanted to know what she and Jacq were arguing about. Both Mel and Tre were caught with the cameras there. Teresa doesn't want confrontation because ( a ) she'd be called out on her own crazy web of lies, ( b ) she lives for Keeping Up Appearances, and ( c ) she thrives on having an "enemy" that she can constantly attack from afar without doing anything to resolve the situation. Tre needs negativity and a scapegoat to deflect attention from the fact that her marriage is a sham, she is a sham, the money is sham and always was and that she is fundamentally alone, apart from her parents. Teresa is so intent on preserving the image of herself created in Season 1that I truly think the loon believes this fantasy she has created is 100% real.

RHoNY finally got into its groove last night. Even though the show revolved around one incident -- Ramona not getting invited to London, I could understand both sides. Ramona is hurt but she's also only kissing up to Heather in order to get an invite. Crazy Pinona! LOVE Carole. LOve love love love her. She's so relaxed with herself and unstuffy and unpretentious. And smart and interested in things beyond the petty round of cocktail gossip. She totally zeroed in on LuAnn's "royal tourettes" and she looked as fabulous walking around the Occupy Wall Street encampment she was photographing as she did with her fabulous hair at Sonja's party. Can't say enough great things about Sonja who seems such a joyous, positive person, even when Ramona almost wrecks the party meant to celebrate her. I love her attitude. I love her house! Heather is still a giant, holla-ing ball of "meh" but at least she stands by her decisions. It's been a shaky few episodes but overall I am liking this season better than last. Mainly because Aviva and Carole are not the noxious and obnoxious Jill, Kelly or Cindy.

That moment was LOL funny. Joe Jr hit him pretty hard, too! Those Gorga genes -- like, Milania kicks grown men in the balls! I don't know what to say about the clusterfuck on RHoNJ except that EVERYBODY is in the wrong and holding onto damn grudges for far too long. They look like damn fools, every one of them. Jacqueline looks like a fool crying over Life & Style (which is no Us Weekly) and getting involved in Gorga family dynamics -- that was just going to bite her in the ass in the end. Caroline clearly has hated Teresa for over a year and so this whole "::Shock:: Our friendship was over yesterday" shtick is a sham. I love me some Caroline but it's the truth. She's been gunning for Tre since the beginning of last season. Yes, even before Cookbookgate. Then we have oh-so-humble Melissa whose husband is pushing all this promotion on her and throwing her a party. Aww shucks, Joe!Like she had nothing to do with re-releasing "the remix" of On Display and blowing up that "Lady Gorga" magazine cover from August 2011! Also she got majorly caught out by Teresa over the Danielle debacle. And finally we have Teresa who is still living in a fantasy world of macmansions, monopoly money and a husband who loves and cherishes her. She has nobody on her side and if her family are moving to reconcile with her, it's because they want to stay on the show next season and have only belatedly realized that she's the route to doing that. Chris Laurita, as usual, continues to be a god amonst men, watching out for his wife while extending the hand of friendship to Joe Giudice.

DaytimeFan is connected! IA with everything Cheap said about Vancouver, this has been a stellar first season and that finale EPITOMISES "satisfying pay-off." Finally, after all the lies and slander and nastiness, Jody is exposed. She is about as vile as Jill Zarin (who should have been publicly chastised by Andy Cohen at last season's reunion, but wasn't. What i would have given to see her face when she got fired!). I am glad Ronnie stepped up and took it upon herself to have it out with Jody in a pretty open way. Yes, it was a settling of accounts but I never got the feeling Jody was being unfairly attacked. She had plenty of opportunity to argue her side and make her case. But, as she is a liar caught in her confabulations, she couldn't. Ronnie seems to have mega standing with the housewives, she is certainly the richest, arguably the most attractive, with the most influence and connections. She was the only one who could have orchestrated this in an attempt to make Jody wake up to what she was doing. And I love the fact that she and Mary finally "made their way back to each other" lol. The formal apology that Ronnie made to Mary was touching. Ronnie's husband is hot but prob didn't want to be heavily featured in the show, so Ronnie's son Jhordan made more of an appearance. Jhordan seems to be a great son. RHoV has really breathed life into this franchise -- totally by accident and away from Bravo's immediate control. These woman are not yet caricatures (except maybe Jody) and seem utterly comfortable being themselves to a certain extent. I love the balance between "the dark side" and some of the kindess these women exhibit to their families and to each other. Let's face it, RHoNY is on shaky ground, NJ is going to implode unless Bravo get a rein on things, and OC feels like "end of days." I hope viewing RHoV from afar (I'm pretty sure Bravo is keeping tabs on the show) while provide inspiration to the execs in charge and really analyse how to get the US franchise back to basics.

OC: Heather is the bomb. And so is Jeana. Loved seeing Jeana and Kara again, and respect Jeana for having left the RH franchise on her own terms. Even though I wish she would return! Tamra's apology and reaching out felt almost genuine. Typical Alexis. Getting other people (Jim, this Sarah creature, whoever she is) to fight her battles for her. I have a theory about why Heather is officially taking her husband's last name. After looking around at the Housewives husbands -- Eddie is cute but no conversationalist, Brooks = leech, Slade = angry, self-entitled leech, Jim = controlling misogynist -- she must have realized what a GEM she has in the good Dr. Dubrow and wanted to cement that, fast. Vicki, sigh. Wanting to convince America that Brooks brought her the fur coat (in the OC?! When would she wear it?!). So transparantly fake. NY: at LuAnn thinking that she and Jack could have a baby. Heather still bugs the hell out of me, but I am already loving OCD Aviva. And somebody suggested bringing back Jill Zarin to spice up RHoNY which is COLLAPSING in the ratings -- All I can say is Please God NO. This woman is toxic and nasty, and after a while it stops creating drama, it just consists of watching one woman bully others and get away with it constantly. Last season's reunion was sickening and IMO Jill Zarin should not be rewarded for her behavior. And neither should Kelly Nutballs Bensimon. NJ: I am so ready for Danielle and Dina to return and blow the shitstorm that is this show out of the water. And why are they not showing or talking about the REAL reasons why these women all despise one another? When I watch RHoNJ now, I feel like hours have been edited out and I can barely make out people's reasoning. And these endless conversations pointedly avoiding talking about why everybody hates Teresa or Teresa hates them. This franchise is going to implode unless Andy Cohen steps in and does something.