Cat

Bullshit. Jill Zarin would return for half that figure. She was begging Andy to take her back on that WWHL interview. Anything for a platform for her Spanx ripoff and My Momma Makes Chicken Soap and Other Stereotypes book. And no way in hell is she a Bethenny, Nene or Lisa Vanderpump! She is so deluded. She has always resented that Bethenny did well for herself, the licensing deals, the products, the lifestyle brand, and especially the talk show. She felt that was her crown.

Wow I thought I was the only one who loves Yolanda! I read a couple of posts saying "Oh, next season Andy will fire Yolanda because she's not bringing it" and assumed that's how everybody felt. But I love her, love her cooking, her Goopy-know-it-all advice, her straight-arrow take on things, her house, all of it! IA, for me BH is by far the best franchise because of its slow build. And because it is the most glamorous of the RH franchises, there is plenty of fascinating filler in terms of watching these ladies interact in the BH social firmament. There is a pecking order and all these amazing alliances and hidden agendas between the women. It is almost like a royal court with countesses deferring to duchesses who defer to princesses and queens and whatnot. And there is always something bubbling -- when it explodes, it is major. "We don't say... how he HITS you!" Taylor and Russell being ostracized, etc. The breakdown in Adrienne's marriage has already started! Did you not see Paul trying to serve Adrienne some food, she dismissed him all "I can do it myself" and he was all "We doing this again?!" and stormed off? I know the marriage likely broke down over a number of issues, but they do seem to fight a lot over Adrienne's food intake (or lack of it). Marissa Zanuck's mother is amazeballs. Brandi. And her legs are INSANE. Oh no Camille did NOT just go off on Lisa! Although I sort of love Camille bringing her bitch back to the show. I wonder who does own SUR, then? I assume Ken and Lisa went into partnership with some equity firm that specializes in restaurants and resorts? Maybe Mohammed?

Oh! And I love Yolanda. I love her rational take on things, her blog, her work ethic, everything. I like that she's not there to start fights, even though I recognise that this is enough for Andy to fire her next season. Telling one of her hispanic work crews to study hard and learn English made me cringe because my mom (also not born in America) said the same thing once to somebody. I know it must seem borderline racist to some but my mom, like Yolanda probably, worked super hard to learn and perfect her English, and as a result she worked her way up. She honestly feels that learning English opened up so many opportunities to her, so I can see where Yolanda is coming from, even though if I was the guy, I'd probably be thinking "Uh, back off, rich lady, I'm doing the best I can."

I can understand Mauricio defending Adrienne/Paul even though I didn't like his attitude lording it over Brandi. Basically, like many men, he feels the ladies' constant clucking has blown this whole thing out of proportion and that if Brandi/Adrienne could just meet and resolve their differences, the whole thing would be forgotten. However, I find Adrienne VERY sketchy and I think she would issue an ultimatum to Brandi in return for her "friendship" -- a legal and public retraction and some kind of gag order to sign. It's all so cold and two-faced and mildly threatening with Adrienne now -- "be nice to me or I'll sue your ass and attack you in the press." However, the Brandi attacking is really just a smoke screen to get at Lisa, IMO. Ever since Reunion, when Adrienne, Kyle and Taylor turned against Lisa and tried to besmirch her. I don't know whether it's because they are jealous of her popularity or what, but Kyle & Mauricio chose a side ages ago and it is Adrienne & Paul. It is clear that the Kyle & Mauricio/Lisa & Ken friendship is on its last legs -- they could barely be civil to each other and Kyle and Lisa seem to be on the tip of a fight most episodes. M's attitude really riled Ken up. He looked like he wanted to toss the gin into the nearest garbage can.

I've noticed that, too, where she has been playing the ladies against each other and more specifically targeting Brandi. Those Richards girls seem to specialize in being two-faced but Kim is even more covert about it than Kyle.

Are the Maloofs about to do some kind of real estate deal with Mauricio as broker? Is that why Mauricio felt the need to ruin a dinner party at a restaurant by keeping after Brandi about Adrienne? I get his point but it was really too much watching him shout Brandi down (another husband doing that) while Enabler Kyle sat back like the good HW she is. First Faye, now Mauricio doing her talking for her. Adrienne -- I just can't with this woman. If all this mess was a PR exercise to make us feel sorry for her ass after the Reunion debacle, then it has failed. Spectacularly. I love Yolanda.

Twenny Five ThouZIND! Heck, at least Dana/Pam had a catchphrase. What's Faye's?

It's like "Julia" but instead of "Ju" you say "You." Yulia! I'm so glad there is a Russian HW. Russian women are mystery, bitchery, drama and high cheekbones rolled into one. I know -- we have a couple who live in my building. I am fascinated by them! Ronnie is gorgeous. Robin would be, too, if it wasn't for that awful hair which makes her face look a bit beak-y.

RHoBH: What an... odd little episode yesterday. It felt more like an episode of that SUR spin-off than RHoBH towards the end, with the world's randomest infomercial for Adrienne's "cutting edge" skincare line stuck in the middle of the show. Faye needs to STFU and sit her monkey ass down. Once again somebody is ganged up on by another woman and everybody just sits there saying and doing nothing. Camille who Brandi loves didn't say a damn thing! Brandi crying on the sidewalk was truly sad and the only reason Kyle went out there to comfort her is because Lisa asked her, as hostess, to do so. It's so ironic that Faye accused Lisa of the one using Brandi to attack all her enemies on her behalf because that's exactly what I thought Faye was doing on behalf of Vile Kyle! Lisa. :wub: This woman can say and do no wrong for me. Scheana (WTF with that spelling): Me me me me I I I me me me I just wanted to let you know about MY feelings. Brandi; It's not about you. It's about the family you and Eddie destroyed. Cibrian is such a despicable user. Can't believe I thought he was so hot on Sunset Beach! Loved it when Brandi said he was a terrible actor but could lie like an Oscar-winner.

Get caught up on Season 1 of RHoV because it's pretty good -- one of my fave franchises actually and the closest to RHoBH in terms of feel. As far as facial reconstruction is concerned, Mary is 50 and definitely partakes of the botox. I'd say Ronnie has had some work done, but it is excellent work. And I hate Jody but I have to hand it to her -- I don't think she's had a boatload of surgery but regardless she still has boundless confidence in herself and thinks she is hot stuff.

Christina on Vancouver is like NeNe for Atlanta, Teresa for NJ, Lisa for BH and Mama Elsa for Miami -- the breakout star of that show. I am devastated she won't be back for S2 but also completely respect that she left RHoV on her terms -- and on a high. This is a woman who truly treasures her personal happiness and lifestyle over any vague hopes of fame and celebrity. I wish Teresa, Jacqueline, Caroline and On Display cared as much about themselves and their loved ones to do the same. On the upside, RHoV still has Jody, Mary and especially Ronnie who is a drama machine -- that's still a pretty solid core group right there.

I hope RHoM secured itself a Season 3 because it deserves one. I really grew to love that show. Alexia and Mama Elsa BOTH need to become full-time housewives. I swear, I could have watched Mama Elsa for the full second hour of Reunion the other night. I would love her to "read" everybody -- including "number 3," Andy and his secrets. Marysol could be a friend-of (followed by Ana and Leah) but we know that is never going to happen. I wonder what Ana has on Leah's Texas past? Lisa and Joanna seemed on the outs during Reunion, or is that just me? So, now that RHoM is finished for now, which RH show is picking up the baton? Or are we just getting RHoA and BH for the time being?

I wish Christina was back, that's for sure. She drove story. I love how unapologetic she was about enjoying every aspect of life. I also like how she constantly got up in Jody's face. Still, this show is only starting its second season. This may be a good time to make changes before the audience gets too attached. Witness RHoNJ. They don't dare touch Caroline or Teresa.

Oh HELL to the NAW. We already have enough people here ready to drop twenny-five thou-ZIND on a pair of ugly-ass sunglasses.

Well, this is now a hot ass mess and Bravo have done what they did with Russell's family who were threatening to sue -- put everything out there with the exception of a few little bits, and now it is in the court of public opinion. Adrienne looks ridiculous suing over something relatively trivial in the grand scheme of things, especially now that she and Brandi have come to terms and Paul is now on Brandi's side. Why the big deal? Unless her family didn't know and are extremely Christian (I believe the Maloofs are of Lebanese and Maronite descent) but the Lebanese Christians I know are very liberal and open about something like surrogacy. Perhaps she just wanted to protect her kids which is fair enough, but by making such a fuss, she has turned the attention onto her and her family even more. I cannot help but feel that in getting caught up with her jealousy of Lisa and wanting to make her look bad, she has made a number of disastrous decisions which do not impact Lisa at all but instead boomerang right back on her. I hope she has somebody counselling her (legally) in the right way and telling her that it might be best to just cut her losses and rebuild herself. Her kids need her more than ever now and to waste time pursuing a castmate just makes her look like her priorities are all wrong. Brandi could just apologize for having mentioned it during filming because how would she know if Adrienne used a surrogate or not? Then they could just leave it at that. Not to mention that last season, Adrienne and Paul were the ones who brought Russell's actions into the spotlight, especially his threats towards Camille, arguing that "friends do not sue friends." Now might be a good time to take her own advice. By threatening to sue, they, like Russell, look like they have something to hide.

I thought I was the only one who was stunned and shocked by yesterday's RHoBH. First of all, am I right in guessing that the big bleeped-out secret is that Adrienne had a surrogate carry her kids, right? So what's the big deal? So did Camille! Or are Adrienne and Paul making a big-ass fuss because of somethiing Brandi said that actually did slip through -- that A and P were actively coercing Brandi to smear Lisa over Twitter? And they were embarrassed about getting found out? I mean, I have to wonder why Kyle is suddenly so supportive of Adrienne -- unless Adrienne already told her that she's got her back if Kyle has her's. I thought Paul came across VERY badly at Mauricio's event. Not just because it was full of Mauricio's business clients (which is bad enough) but because Adrienne is now suing for full custody and indicating that Paul's violence towards her and the children is the reason why. I wasn't sure I believed it when the suit first made it to press, now I have to wonder. I still think the Nasri-Maloofs brought this upon themselves though in their haste to besmirch the reutation of some former friends and neighbors. Are they going to be bleeping this [!@#$%^&*] all through the season? Because that's going to suck.

OMG, Elsa freezing her ass off in Marysol's apartment, even in a fur coat. The women cackling over Rodrigo's cheating with somebody "so much younger and prettier than Karent" was pretty rank. I will forever love Lisa for, once she found out about it, wanting to take Karent and tell her alone. Adriana should never have showed up in Bimini. It was obvious from the way she "forgot" her passport she couldn't be bothered.

Yolanda's blog is amazing and right-on. This woman is BOSS!

I loved all the mothers meeting up! Joanna's mother seems especially loving towards her daughter. Next week looks like it is going to be great. I kinda feel sorry for Karent; Rodrigo is obviously a total sleaze. LOL, Cheap. I hope she pulls his teeth out. Adriana as dancing Carioca = awesome.

I rarely, if ever, get bored with RHoBH (the exception? Pandora's wedding preparations and the wedding itself. I like P and love Lisa but all that planning bored me rigid) and so even when it is not a big "FIGHT" episode there is always something to entertain me. Lisa's zingers, Brandi putting her foot in it, the sparkly clothes, the property porn, Taylor's gigantic lips. Ojai was a case in point this week. Adrienne is the pettiest little bitch ever. You could tell by her body language that she was only apologizing to Lisa for the cameras -- and indeed on the VT she is huffing and puffing about not getting an apology from Lisa. What the hell for? -- and then when they get to Ojai she is cawing about Lisa having to share a room. Like it's some kind of divine punishment? I would imagine Lisa and Brandi's room is probably the funnest room in the house. I can't even with two-faced Kyle.

Cheap that gif of Kim Richards really highlights how wonderfully out of step she is with the world in which she inhabits. Unfortunately, the fact that she doesn't ever quite "fit in" makes her, quite clearly, deeply unhappy. That giant bowl of chicken salad (which nobody even touched -- probably because she'd been fondling it all afternoon) was hilarious and yet so sad at the same time. She cannot quite keep up a conversation with anybody and social events seem to terrify her. This is probably why she drinks/abuses substances -- to cover the shyness and feelings of inadequacy. Speaking of inadequate, did anybody notice (a) TayShanna's hobo silver leggings of slutdom and ( b ) her face go bright green with jealousy when she entered Yolanda's mansion? And how she bragged that she knew David Foster because one of his exes is her BFF. And he totally greets her like he's never laid eyes on her before? Also Paul saying "If Lisa goes to kiss me, I'm not going to accept it" in the car. Luckily for him, she totally ignored him.

Taylor was very rude about the music. The singers and trumpeteer had obviously been comandeered as musical entertainment for the guests' benefit and I was shocked at Taylor's manners -- for a con artist targetting wealthy BH residents, TayShanna sure has no clue how to conduct herself at social gatherings. You could see that after a while, once David and his singers got warmed up, other people began singing and dancing and contributing to the party. TayShanna is so desperate to stay viable on this show. Yolanda and her flower garden are just amazing. That house is the stuff dreams are made of. Adrienne and Paul are so gross, I can't even. Lisa shouldn't apologize (for what?) to those losers. I cannot wait to see her spear that troll at dinner. Kyle needs to get over her damn self. Brandi may have ejected too much collagen in her face but I still love her.

LOL, Cheap! I loved Elsa in that episode. The guy she practically considers a surrogate son yells at her in front of everybody so that he can have his 5 minutes of D-list fame on this show -- but does it bother her? Not one bit. She waltzes out of there cool as you like, muttering about how she didn't want french fries anyway. I love this woman and her attitude. It's too bad Marysol is such a spineless amoeba, she could do with her Mama's backbone. That Thomas Kramer guy and Elaine/James are such famewhores, they are so desperate to appear on this reality show. I *loved* transgender socialite Lauren, though. She needs to be on again. Next week some of the mamas show up -- including Joanna's Polish mom and a Russian lady -- is that Lisa's mother? I didn't even know Lisa was Russian. RHoBH: I was OK with it being a "slow" episode -- shows need time to build up to big dramatic events and I can't deal with catfights and visciousness every single episode (see RHoNJ). I don't get why everybody is SO keen to get Lisa to "get over" what Adrienne did, though. As far as I can see, she has. She's over it, and over Adrienne. When Kyle decided to butt in and broker a peace, Lisa cut her off with "Why are you doing this? What's it to you? It's none of your business." It's not even about Radar and who sold what story to whom at this point. If Lisa doesn't want to see Adrienne, it's because she was hurt that Adrienne and two others turned on her and tried to smear her at Reunion. Now she's done and doesn't want anything more to do with her. When she told Kyle to butt out, it was clear she was telling her "I haven't forgotten the role you played then either." Had to LMAO at Adrienne and Paul being all "When you are friends with somebody, you just need to get over it." O RLY, Adrienne? Like you got over Pandora having her hen night elsewhere? Like you got over the "Maloof hoof"? I have a feeling we may see the "real" Adrienne come out when we see her turn against her soon-to-be ex-husband. Kyle thinks she is the funniest, wittiest woman on earth. It's actually kind of sad that the only reason most viewers tolerate her is when she trots out Portia (I love her!) or Mauricio. Camille.

Hurrah for Miami!! I am its newest fan.

ATL Kim is coming across... not great this season. Like I never noticed just how shady and economical with the truth Kim could be until I rewatched Season 1 and at Reunion she was all "Don't bully me Nene!I wear a wig because of cancer" and then when pressed on the issue, she says "Oh, it turned out not to be cancer. Phew." I don't know why after all this time she just cannot be civil and a little bit gracious with Nene, especially when Nene asked her to stay especially. Kenya taking over the mic at Cynthia's party? Sit down, Miss USA! Is nobody talking about Miami? Because I thought that was a great episode. I am really starting to feel for Joanna and Karent while Adriana, Marisol and the others really look like Mean Girls. And I like Alexia but she is obviously Queen Bee, and after inviting Karent and promising her no aggressivity, she and Adriana are dissing Karent and Joanna when they are in the same room and right to their faces. Next week: the crazy German guy!