Darn

Yes, she's there for optics. Black, recent best actress winner. Looks good on paper. Man, looking at that cast photo again...half of those people should be gone and all of them have nothing to do. It's crazy, they're not even doing the soap "safe" things like the other shows (baby switches and dopplegangers), they're doing nothing.

Okay big points to OLTL that none of those women are related.

I will say seeing four black women in a scene together was a sight to behold. I can’t remember the last time any soap had four black women on at once. I guess GH is it, but before Portia joined the show? Passions?

Holy crap if I have to watch one more scene of Sasha talking to someone about how fücking sad she is I'm going to lose it. Characters that matter haven't grieved this much for this long. Like I get it, her husband and baby died. It's very tragic. I just do not care. Carly and Drew worried about insider trading is a laughable obstacle for these two actual criminals. Watching the actors playing Curtis and Curtis's father eyes glaze over as they recite this dull as dirt dialogue is torture. They sound so bored. I barely understand how they're all related but thank god Aunt Stella is here because those two plus RoboJordan are like watching paint dry.

At least Brenda is someone we know! That sounds like torture @Chris B

Awww

Absolutely. And he's hardly the same character but they were too lazy to give her a love interest without immediate connections to people in town. This guy is way too earnest and emotional to be the Jason 2.0 Drew was. @Vee is right, they should have let him keep the beard. At least he was interesting to look at.

Carly and Drew have negative chemistry. CM just comes across as someone's grandpa. I refuse to believe Carly finds him attractive. They're only together because she needs a love interest and he's Cameron Mathison.

Soaps have always been willing to fudge someone's backstory to fit a new plot, someone who once said they had two sisters suddenly has one brother or is an only child. But now they've bypassed even describing something as simple as where a person was born to keep them in this nebulous place where flat characters like Nelle, Willow and Sasha can all be the exact same age (yet somehow younger than another character who was born canonically several years after them). Specificity is lost because they never know when they might have to create an insta-biological connection because two people who hate each other is automatically more entertaining when they share DNA apparently. Brings me back to, and we discussed this a few weeks ago, Rae Cummings traipsing up and down the eastern seaboard for her long lost child who was anywhere from 18 to 45.

He played someone named David Bordisso on PC so probably. He looked like a Founding Father. There's been a lot of talk about the show never finding a man who could toe to toe with Eileen's Ashley but Jill has never had a suitable love interest. John doesn't count because that was hardly a passionate love affair or marriage and Colin sure as hell doesn't count because that story sucked and they write Jill as stupid when she's in "love". ANYway back to the topic, has anyone mentioned the Ford (modeling agency) brothers from OLTL? What even was that? It was so transparent and lazy. How do we count the many, many forced familial units on GH? Obrecht gained a son and daughter in two established characters, a niece in Nina and thereby great-nieces in Willow and Nelle and a lover in Faison. How do we count those? Where it's revealed multiple disparate characters are all related.

I'd say Megan and Tricia were both very successfully, especially my mad baby Tricia. It was their father who never clicked and frankly I think it came down to the actor not being terribly attractive. This was the man Jill was supposed to fall for? Doubt it.

I thought her disgust with them started with Natalia Livingston's Emily but no, it was all right there in Amber Tamblyn's. It's upsetting to see the seeds of the family reduced to in-fighting and ordering pizza on Thanksgiving. And I swear if I hear one more variation of "Alan bought me this house!" I'll scream.

Michael B. Jordan is hosting SNL tonight and they showed an AMC clip during his monologue.

Man, if you could extract her performance from her character's (and Willow's) mess of a history this would be so much more compelling.

Drew, Michael and Willow have all forgiven Carly in a week's time for a secret she kept for a year. No consequences except from someone who already hates her, Nina. Teflon Carly.

I mentioned that the other day! It will be utterly ridiculous if they get married. Just yesterday Ava said that Esme isn't old enough to drink! So they're all 20 years old and saddled with marriages and babies. Dumb.

The last opening feels so oddly depressing.

I think she was only on one day this week, Thursday. That's nice. Now kiss. Joss and Dex have fücked three times this year alone. Carly and Drew just did it and NO ONE cares about them. Cody and Sasha just met and are guaranteed to kiss within a month's time. This is infuriating.

It still astounds me 20 years later that this PowerPoint presentation with the fücked aspect ratio ever made it on air. I, however, really liked the Lifesavers opening. The music was more commanding than the show, it set you up for melodrama that never arrived.

I wonder which character has returned from the dead the most. I love when someone will return from the dead and once that plot has been resolved it's never mentioned again. Someone else on the show could die in the exact same manner (car crash, plane crash, drowning, etc.) and it's never said "Well, so-and-so died the same way and they came back!". Every death is treated like an absolute certainty. It's very funny.

Yeah, today was especially weird. Spencer was pretty explicitly saying "We're more than friends" and Trina kept bringing it back to "We're just friends". The hold up is really fücking absurd here.

4 young beautiful women with nothing to do. And yeah I'm gonna beat a dead horse. It deserves it.

Yeah, that would have looked really tacky.

In an ideal world it would have been the culmination or high point of a months long story about Lauren or her family. But no, like everything else, it was people sitting around talking about events that happened in the past.

This guy playing Dex talks like his last two brain cells are bumping into each other. Carly and Josslyn are complete sociopaths. You can't write a sweet mother/daughter scene between these two because they are batshît crazy. Joss STILL doesn't think she cheated on Cameron! Do they think if they say it enough it'll be true? And Carly barely reacted to it. And Joss is sitting there crying for herself and Dex, she doesn't give two shîts about Cam. I don't understand the writing for this at all. It doesn't matter when you FELT like the relationship was over, it matters whether or not it was actually OVER. They're writing her like she's delusional but they won't acknowledge the delusional. Pease don't tell me that Spencer and Trina are going to get married so Spencer can get custody of his sibling. It looks like Marcus Coloma's exit really was unexpected because there are no signs to Nik leaving at all with them ramping up this story and the one with Liz's mom. Cameron Mathison with his elderly man voice can go away now. I don't care about this whole Lucy escapade. It looks worse than clips from the 70s except now our heroes are in their 60s. It all feels so silly.