Falling For Straight Guys

[2shane8]

Do any other gay guys have this problem?

I have had this happen to me twice now! I become really good friends with a straight guy who is comfortable with his sexuality, and we start hanging out all the time. We become close as close can be, and I end up falling in love. Since the guy is straight, though, there is nothing to be done about the situation.

Of course, I respect their sexuality just as they respect mine, but I think part of the problem is that sometimes they are willing to do a little bit with me (like making out, nothing too serious), and I should just say no ... 'cause that always makes me like them even more.

Oh, those cute straight guys

[Shawn]

Man oh man, do I share your problem.

My first serious boyfriend told me after a year that our relationship was just a "phase", broke with me but not before telling me that he had been sleeping with a mutual female friend for three months prior.

Last I checked, they were married with children.

[alwaysAMC]

Yep - I have that problem. I'm more attracted to straight guys usually...lol.

My roomie last year, and still good friend, was pretty hot and had a girlfriend, and very comfortable with his sexuality, so he liked to flirt with me and be a huge tease to me whenever I was drunk just to get me horny and pissed at him.

So yeah, I definitely understand what you mean. I wish we had the power to turn some straight guys gay.

[Adam]

I think most gay guys have this problem. I've been known to get all hung up on guys I know I can never have sigh.

[R!ck]

I can SO relate!

I am going through it right now. He knows I'm Bi and I know he's "Str8." He's a manly man (mechanic) and walks the walk and talks the talk a little too much. He's 25, a virgin and tells me that he is a selfish person and doesn't want a serious girlfriend, he just wants a girl to have sex with and then leave him alone. He's had two girlfriends. Well I found out that his latest girlfriend dumped him because he wouldn't have sex with her, and he never wanted to go to the movies, dinner, or have serious conversations.

But he calls me all the time asking me to go to dinner and go to the movies LOL we give each other massages, we lay on my bed listening to 80's power ballads (his fave) and he opens up to me about his childhood, school, work, personal things etc. He loves The Stepford Wives, Hedwig, Rocky Horror, and Brokeback Mountain. I told him he was never going to find a girl if he spent all his free time with me and he says he would rather be around me than a nagging bitch? So confusing

I tried to kiss him a couple weeks ago and he almost did it, but turned his head and said he couldn't.

[alwaysAMC]

Wow Rick - that guy sounds like he is probably gay, but just REALLY doesn't want to be gay or give in to his desires at all....

[JERSoapsFan]

I'm sorry but BOTH of those guys sound gay. I mean, 2Shane, making out with you AT ALL is a gay thing.

Honestly, people. Honestly! You're falling for closeted straight guys. NOT gay guys.

[King]

OH MY GOD! SO GAY! Sooooooo gay I can't even deal. But I'd run, Rick. And fast. Way too many issues there. I can tell already.

Shawn, that's awful! What an ass.

I am with, alwaysAMC. I think straight guys are always the hottest. I like really manly men. Sucks!

[Ms. Walsh]

UGH! We have the exact opposite problem. All the guys I like wind up being gay!! The world is so unfair!

[KLN]

Not too long ago, I was seeing this guy who was straight. We were just friends at first, then suddenly he started acting flirty, so I acted flirty back. One thing led to another, and we had amazing sex many times. He told me he wasn't gay, but he loved doing it with me, and I was the only person he'd ever even consider doing that with. After a while, he started getting attached to me... he even told me that he loved me. A few times. He cried, too, because he really liked me but was so confused. Anyway, long story short, I ended up falling for him, too. At the last minute, he decided that he was too nervous about being with a guy sexually AND romantically, so he started pushing me away. He told me he decided that he was straight and started sleeping around, telling me all about it (which was like a knife in my heart). It suuuuucked. For both of us.

[Andre]

Well, my current boyfriend wasn't always gay. He spend most of his life as a straight guy, genuinely into girls and relationships and that sort of thing. But a few years ago he said he switched teams, so to speak. So, I guess I fell for a former straight guy. Who knows -- maybe he was just confused -- but I have heard that sexuality can be very fluid and changeable.

[Michael]

I do it. I'm an idiot. And you're right, Shane -- if you let a little something happen, it does make it even worse.

Totally. I don't think that having an inkling of attraction to someone of the same sex means you are "really gay" and have to live your life that way. I know I've been attracted to girls before -- there's a bit of curiosity, some genuine attraction, whatever. It's not purely black and white.

[Toadstool]

So true. I went through years of sexual experimentation with the opposite sex, and enjoying most of it, before realizing I was fully gay. I think it's easier when we're young and just the mention of the word sex or the sight of exposed skin gets us aroused.

On the other hand it's a lot more acceptable to experiment with heterosexuality.

When I was about 20 and working a summer student factory job, I became friends with an older male worker, about 30. A real blue collar hockey jock type who was always making "pretend gay flirtations" to everyone. I'd told him I was gay and he would often apologize for possibly offending me. If anything it just increased the magnitude of my crush on him. Our friendship had started with him taking me under his wing at the workplace, mentoring if you will, to sharing lunchhours, to going out "for a few cold ones" after work and getting completely smashed. We talked comfortably about personal matters. I'd go home afterward and wish I could meet a gay guy like him; a guy I was that attracted to and felt that comfortable with.

He had a girlfriend, a very nice woman, who worked as a nurses' aide; often she worked overnight or just incompatible hours so was not around much and their relationship was suffering. Towards the end of my time there at the factory, with summer almost over and a final year of my BSc about to begin, I thought we'd be friends, at least and for sure, for life. He'd told me so; I'd been a good listener to his girlfriend problems. I just liked being around him.

And so it was. We weren't working together anymore but we were "dating" in an odd sense in that we'd meet Fridays for beer and chat or he'd drag me to some factory employees function like a Super Bowl party. The old factory gang was his old gang and he liked me as a friend so they did too. It wasn't very gay but I was and I became their token homosexual. My gay social life took a backseat.

Then his girlfriend broke up with him. Two weeks later our Friday "cold ones" consisted of a 40 ounce scotch bottle for shots and beers... delivered by the local grocer... to my little one room apartment in the McGill Student Ghetto ...and pot. He looked like hell. He said I was the only person who cared. We talked and talked and talked ...and drank and smoked. We eventually took a shower together and then had sex. WOW!

I thought it had been great. He was fine until he left. Then it was complete cut-off. No more "cold ones" on Fridays, not even an explanation, though none was needed. I knew. He wouldn't return my calls. There's lots more I could say about him, and his current life, but I won't.

From thence I became more "gay" and avoided anyone from outside the gay village so it was a surprise when my current boyfriend and soon to be husband approached me in the workplace, and I responded.

I was going to say "We ask for it" but I don' t really believe we do, at least not the first time.

[Adam]

Me too King..... I always am attracted to the athletic outgoing type which most times always are straight. *sigh*

[R!ck]

That sucks Toadstool. My ex got married a few weeks ago and he had the [!@#$%^&*] nerve to ask me to be his best man. I thought about going to object, but stayed home instead, listening to George Michael's "One More Try" all day and crying like a little bitch.

I'm glad that you found someone, and congrats on the upcoming nuputals.

On Last comic standing there was a manly gay guy, and he said just once he would like to find a man that could throw a football and a tantrum, but they are very hard to come by.

Amen! LMAO