Just for Amello.

Love it DaytimeFan, but you knew I would! :lol

I am still trying to decide on which stories are nebulous enough that I won't get caught.

All of them. Just start at the beginning ...

And then there's the time at the country club...

This was only a few years ago, shortly before my grandmother died. My great aunt throws her annual New Years Eve Party (done on the 30th because, according to my great aunt, the 31st is about "alcohol darling, clear, sparkling, it doesn't matter, as long as it keeps me lubricated!")...

We picked up my grandmother (Michelle Phillips meets Tippi Hedren), who'd stopped driving at this point, from her penthouse (I know, I know) and drove to the club. She takes my arm because "a lady always needs an escort from a gentleman, sweetheart!" and we walk into the main dining room. For reference, my grandmother had been a member of the club for 45+ years...

So anyway, we enter the dining room and she greets the hostess, Mary (think Rue McClanahan's Blanche Devereaux), my grandmother then says "Mrs --------'s table" to which Mary says "Oh I'll just have to check on where she is Mrs --------"...which necessitates a glance at the reservation book. A glance. It takes less than 2 seconds. Mary then tells us where we'll be seated by one of the hundreds of attentive staff.

Without missing a beat and within a foot of walking past Mary my grandmother exclaims the following: "My God, your great aunt has been a member at this club as long as I've been! We're always seated next to the dance floor and amongst our friends. Why Mary insists on checking that reservation book is beyond me. She's worked here for what? 30 years? Anyway I know it's a pity she didn't manage to snag a rich husband but dammit woman, conceal your resentment towards us just a little bit more thoroughly!"

I love this stuff, Daytimefan. I can picture all that in my mind.

My parents wedding...

They were both in their 30s when they got married and decided that they didn't want the big, over the top extravaganza that my father's parents had. Rather than have the formal sit down dinner for a reception, they decided on sit down dinner for family and friends for their engagement party and then a cocktail party for the wedding reception itself, followed by a honeymoon in Asia.

My grandmother was aghast at this and decided that she'd have to throw a wedding reception party herself at her house exclusively for her friends. My grandfather went along with her idea and arranged for the caterer, bar staff, waiters and band all set up around their pool. It was, from the pictures I've seen, gorgeous. Orchids everywhere. My grandmother had flair.

Anyway, my father's best man's parents were invited. And they were rich with an capital R. Jet set Europeans. Houses in 4 countries. My grandmother was concerned that they wouldn't feel comfortable since they'd only be in the company of people who had 2 or 3 houses. However, she realized that two other guests were attending who she thought would mesh well with them since they owned their own island (an island they outbid Aristotle Onassis for)...

At the party, the Europeans were seated by the pool, having a nice time. My grandmother's Island friends arrived and she went right up to them and said "Marian, Joe, you MUST go speak to the -------!" They enquired as to why to which she replied "Listen, aside from the ------ you're the richest people at this party, now, go over there and talk about how paying taxes on your island is a bitch, they'll feel more at home! Go! Mingle!"

I think my niece's husband is gay. There's just something thats sets off my gaydar. I'll never say anything, of course... because nobody would believe me if I did. I guess time will tell.

There was a police raid in my building and the cops swarmed the area looking for specific criminals, probably illegals. While I was coming home from work I saw one hiding behind a bush a few feet from me and he begged me to keep quiet. I should have squealed but I kept it moving.

I think my niece's husband is gay. There's just something thats sets off my gaydar. I'll never say anything, of course... because nobody would believe me if I did. I guess time will tell.

I think my brother is. Whatever floats his boat, I dont care. I'll still love him regardless. Like you, I'll never bring it up, but I cant shake the feeling that he is

There was a police raid in my building and the cops swarmed the area looking for specific criminals, probably illegals. While I was coming home from work I saw one hiding behind a bush a few feet from me and he begged me to keep quiet. I should have squealed but I kept it moving.

wow, Im not sure what I would do. Im the type of person taht likes to mind my own business so to speak. Im not sure if I would get involved either

Quite a few years back now, when I was at home, a lot of family came to visit. My Aunt and Uncle, their daughter (my cousin), my Grandmother, my only (at that time) nephew, and his parents, my brother, my uncle, and my other sister and her husband.

One Saturday afternoon we were all sitting in the living room discussing what to do for the day. Eventually, my mother suggested we go out for a nice lunch. It was an expensive restaurant at a very ritzy shopping center. My grandmother quickly replies:

"Oh yes that sounds like a marvelous idea! And let's meander around for a bit after lunch. Maybe we can find a nice, rich doctor or lawyer for Chris (my sister) to marry!"

In. Front. Of. Her. Husband

To which my mother quickly replied:

"Mom, she's already married" (While wearing that awkward grin, eyes as big dinner plates.)

My grandmother then replies:

"I know." And marches her ass right out the house and into the car.

Gotta love her.

Quite a few years back now, when I was at home, a lot of family came to visit. My Aunt and Uncle, their daughter (my cousin), my Grandmother, my only (at that time) nephew, and his parents, my brother, my uncle, and my other sister and her husband.

One Saturday afternoon we were all sitting in the living room discussing what to do for the day. Eventually, my mother suggested we go out for a nice lunch. It was an expensive restaurant at a very ritzy shopping center. My grandmother quickly replies:

"Oh yes that sounds like a marvelous idea! And let's meander around for a bit after lunch. Maybe we can find a nice, rich doctor or lawyer for Chris (my sister) to marry!"

In. Front. Of. Her. Husband

To which my mother quickly replied:

"Mom, she's already married" (While wearing that awkward grin, eyes as big dinner plates.)

My grandmother then replies:

"I know." And marches her ass right out the house and into the car.

Gotta love her.

What's wrong with the husband?

I think my brother is. Whatever floats his boat, I dont care. I'll still love him regardless. Like you, I'll never bring it up, but I cant shake the feeling that he is

You should ask him. It's cool that you still love him no matter what.

What's wrong with the husband?

Well, nothing too extreme.. He doesn't have the best past, really. But he was/is always a good father to my nephews and nieces. Not the most positive person, rather questionable choices in the past, came off as kind of selfish. It was always obvious he loved my sister, but sometimes seemed to put himself first! LOL.

Oddly enough, Grandma and him wound up being pretty close later on.

She didn't mean it in a mean, vindictive way. She is just a classic elderly lady. Says what she thinks. Makes no qualms about it. Part of me has always thought she said it forgetting Chris was married, and then left in embarrassment LOL.

My Grandma is a cool lady. She just sometimes says things that she...Ya know, shouldnt.

Edited May 18, 201114 yr by SoapBoy94

You should ask him. It's cool that you still love him no matter what.

I wouldnt bc its really none of my business. I dont need to know if he is or not bc its not important. If and when he wants to talk about it, I'll be here, but I wont bring it up or make an issue out of it, especially if he's not ready or wants to come out.

Here's a family story. My sister has always had a dirty mouth. One time when we were younger, we were alone in a room with 2 cousins. My sister was upset about something and called one cousin a bitch. My mother just happened to walk into the room as she said that, holding a glass of ice tea that she was drinking. Mom said "The only bitch I see here is you" She then took a sip of her ice tea and in her best Alexis Carrington impersonation, threw the rest of it in her face! I about died laughing and still remember that vividly today

Edited May 18, 201114 yr by Cheap21

I wouldnt bc its really none of my business. I dont need to know if he is or not bc its not important. If and when he wants to talk about it, I'll be here, but I wont bring it up or make an issue out of it, especially if he's not ready or wants to come out.

Here's a family story. My sister has always had a dirty mouth. One time when we were younger, we were alone in a room with 2 cousins. My sister was upset about something and called one cousin a bitch. My mother just happened to walk into the room as she said that, holding a glass of ice tea that she was drinking. Mom said "The only bitch I see here is you" She then took a sip of her ice tea and in her best Alexis Carrington impersonation, threw the rest of it in her face! I about died laughing and still remember that vividly today

:lol:

That reminds me of how I would yell F*ck if my brother was bothering me to get him in trouble when we were kids. Always worked like a charm.

And cheap, I think that is definately the right way to go with your brother.

I think my brother is. Whatever floats his boat, I dont care. I'll still love him regardless. Like you, I'll never bring it up, but I cant shake the feeling that he is

wow, Im not sure what I would do. Im the type of person taht likes to mind my own business so to speak. Im not sure if I would get involved either

The thing is, when I saw him I kinda froze. Then I looked back to see if the cops were looking at me. The dude was literally pleading with me and I was thinking if I started hollering, didn't know if my life would be in danger if one of his friends saw me ratting him out. Criminals hate rats. Yeah, the best thing was to keep moving.