The Cocktail Lounge

[Nate4]

didn't realize how cheesy that was 😬 damn

[Soapsuds]

I'm so close to going off on my bbf. He has been acting like his world is ending. He said he didn't want to lose everything. It had me wondering why well I found out that his bf moved all the way across the country to California for a new job. My bbf hasn't told me this yet. So today he was all huffy with me about being his bbf and that's all.....that his bf meant the world to him....I thought will apparently youre not the world to him or he wouldn't have left you and gone all the across the country away from you. I really don't know how they can have anything real serious now so far away especially when he was here ...my bbf would call me with his problems...ask me for help and NOT his bf....and one night being so in a bad mood he canceled his date with his bf but yet the night with me ...no not in bed but spent it with me....Ugh...I just cant with him......

Advice??

[Nate4]

I need advice. ASAP.

My friends (three girls) and I went to a party. It was really fun and afterwards, we went to get some food. My closet friend in the group - "Carly" - was grabbing for something. Her sleeve fell down and there were marks all over her arm. I grabbed her arm and asked what are those. She said nothing and covered her sleeve. We all sat there, awkwardly, and I got up with "Sarah" to go to the bathroom. I asked Sarah what the hell was on her arm and she told me "what do you think". Sarah has also been depressed and cut herself BEFORE. The other friend, "Hannah", is currently depressed and cuts herself everyday, but I'm not very close to her. We go back to the table and then we leave, but I still think about it. I couldn't sleep at all. I texted her and asked about the things on her arm. She said - "nothing". I didn't text her. I saw her again at another party the next day. We all hung out like usual and it was fun. We were all talking in a group chat and Carly got mad at me over something stupid. I asked to call her and she said no. I said to meet up and she said no. So I texted her about it. I told her that I care about her too much to see her do this to herself. She told me that cutting was very normal and many of her friends also do it and are fine. named that Hannah and Sarah have also cut themselves -- and have tried to kill themselves. She told me that there was nothing wrong with her and she doesn't need help. I told her she was right, there wasn't anything wrong with her and she was one of strongest person I have ever known. I told her I couldn't do nothing and see her harm herself, and she said I wasn't helping at all and that she was perfectly fine and could stop whenever she wanted to. I asked her if she could stop then why didn't she and she said it was none of my business. I told her if one of my best friends had died (our friend died this summer from cancer. Carly was VERY close to her) and I started to cut myself she wouldn't be worried? She got mad and said I was just trying to make her feel guilty and it was my goal to put her down. I asked her if her mom knew and she said yes. She told me she was going to bed and that she hopes I'm over this by the morning.

I cannot deal with her cutting herself. Everyone acts like its normal but it's not. My uncle killed himself and they all joke around about the day when they kill themselves. I can't take it. I feel like if I stop talking to her, I'm basically letting her become more depressed. I have no idea what to do. I don't know if I can be friends with them if they refuse to get help.

[Mr. Vixen]

When I was 16, I had a situation extraordinarily similar to yours with my closest friend. Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing you can do but let her know you love her and support her no matter what. Don't lecture her, because as amazing as your intentions are, she is not in the mental place to really hear you right now. What she needs is a support system - people to make her life good enough that she no longer feels the need to cut. Of course, down the line, she may need to see a therapist or even go on antidepressants. But she's a long way from coming to that realization now. You can't force her to get help. You can, however, help her yourself, just by being there. I know, personally, that by not "doing" anything about it, it will feel like you're just standing by and letting it happen. And I know that's a terrible feeling. But truly, the only thing you can do is be there for her - and make sure she knows that you are.

[Nate4]

I just texted her and said I loved her. I hate talking about this via text. Ugh.

[Taoboi]

I found it!!!! lol.

Or...

OMG!!! Really? I seriously can't with this.It's not that I don't want an us. I want an us. I'm not the one holding out. So it's a little late to be considerate about my feelings when your past slips out of someone else's mouth when it should have come out of yours.

[Taoboi]

WOW. Reading that now given the shade I just threw his way tonight is kinda hilarious.

Sometimes you have to even check guys who claim to be grown and show them what grown is.

[alphanguy74]

You should talk to her mother. She may very well be lying about her mother knowing. She's the most important person to know at this point, and you need to make SURE she knows.

[alphanguy74]

Just gonna rant here. My puritanical relatives are driving me nuts! My sister is having severe knee problems, and couldn't cook Thanksgiving dinner, so instead of my asswipe of a brother in law lifting a finger, my niece went out and did it all, of course, like the dutiful little robot he raised her to be. He even THANKED her on facebook, and bragged on her for being such a good cook and having a "servant's heart".. yes those exact words, and also THANKED her husband for "loaning her to us" like she was a piece of property. . Then HER husband tells their 6 year old daughter, "If you see a boy standing under mistletoe, RUN! because he'll want to kiss you!" to which she replied, "But I love kisses!". He then says "No!!! Don't you go kissing any boys!". And this is no exaggeration, they are raising their children, telling them they are not allowed to even KISS anyone until they are married. How do you like them apples?

[alphanguy74]

Holy crap. I now just read that the same 6 year old child of my Niece and her husband was crying at bedtime the other night, he asked her why, and said "Because I'm afraid to get married", to which he replied, "But your'e not getting married now", and she said "When I'm older". And this dolt thinks it was a stall tactic to stay up longer. It;s blatantly obvious what this child is feeling, she sees the complete subservience her mother is subjected to, and knows this is what her future is. And this girl's father is not a complete arrogant !@#$%^&*], either... I can only imagine what she thinks when she sees my Sister's relationship with HER husband, who IS an arrogant prick.

[ReddFoxx]

I'm fully resigned to bachelorhood indefinitely (maybe permanently) I do not even feel like trying anymore. My true love is politics, anyway, so being single will give me more time to devote to that.

[Mr. Vixen]

I'm the same way Redd, I've kind of given up on love.

[JackPeyton]

ive always seen myself having relationships but them ending and me moving on, never being with one person forever. its interesting to be in a new city where i have no past with anyone and dont really know anyone and date around.

[SFK]

My issue is that I fall for co-workers who are in serious LTR, or worse, married. I was in a... "relationship" (?) with a married co-worker for several months that ended earlier this year, but that story is more for the "Air your dirty laundry" thread.

[Mr. Vixen]

Sooo, get your ass over there and TELL IT. Or at least PM me!!