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Ryan

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Blog Entries posted by Ryan

  1. Ryan

    Back after an absence

    By Ryan,

    Well, I hope everyone had a happy new year. I did. I had a nice time on Saturday night, ended up getting hospitalized on Sunday due to my lack of taking care of myself. I knew I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to blow off my NYE plans. Anyways, I'm feeling a bit better now and I'm glad to be back.

    I've been working on this damn column I've been trying to do off and on since like August (I've wrote like 8 columns already). I'm probably going to need some help coming up with some topics, so once I get into the flow of things, if you'd like to help me, feel free. I'm open.
  2. Ryan
    Based on the title you'd think it was about my ex, but no. I injured myself while working out. I hit my lower back on one of the weights that was behind me as I was doing curls. Ugh, I'm so clumsy sometimes.

    I don't know how much longer I can damn continue to be cold at work. There is no damn reason for my office to be 27 degrees when I come into work in the morning. No reason.

    Being single kicks ass! It's fun not being tied down, but still keeping the door open for a serious relationship. I'll be able to go out like I used to come January. Thank god for vacations smile.gif .

    Rockland County is really picking up people. The relationship between Dante & Elijah is being explored more seeing as how Elijah has taken a liking to Dante's girlfriend Arden. Could Ashley be an ally for Elijah? I hope so. He needs a friend.

    Rockland County airs Wednesdays and Fridays at 9:45am ET on Radio Loger and repeats on Soap Opera Radio (Live 365) throughout the week. Each episode now runs around ten minutes in length.

    After each episode airs on Radio Loger, it becomes available to listen to on this website, along with the transcript for that show.

    Am I the only one liking the ABC soaps right now? I hope not. My column (which I still haven't found a damn title for, lol) will hopefully be debuting this week right here on SON. I'll be touching on the recast of Carly Corinthos-Alcazar and where I think GH went wrong with Jennifer Bransford (Carly #3). I'll also be touching briefly on OLTL and discuss the recent
  3. Ryan

    Baby It's Cold Outside

    By Ryan,

    I have always said that I preferred being cold than hot, but my goodness, this is unbearable. Living near (damn near on) the beach is fun, but not when it's cold. The wind chill factor here was like 14 degrees. That's nothing compared to when I was in PA and the wind chill was 5-10 below zero, but still. For NY/NJ to have a pretty moderate winter last year, this is the complete opposite. I wish it would already go ahead and snow. We know it's coming, we just don't know exactly when.

    Oh, and on top of that, the heat is out at work. And because of where my office is located (on a pier above the beach), it's even colder. I'm freezing my ass of now. I would have just driven down to city hall, but my roomates have my car and to catch the Jitney would mean I'd have to walk two blocks up, and wait a few minutes in the cold. Uh uh, don't don't think so. So I'm trying to wait it out until I can go hom and warm up. Then I'm taking my car and going shopping, should my roomates ever decide to give me my damn car back. Speaking of that, I lent them my car like Tuesday. It's Friday....shouldn't I have my keys back by now?

    I saw Ashlee Simpson in concert last Saturday. She was pretty good. The show was better than her first tour here. While I did enjoy that, I enjoyed this one better. I didn't find her voice annoying and she really connects with her fans onstage. Good stuff Ashlee! Gotta go get my jacket. I guess I'll post another entry later.

    -RC
  4. Ryan
    Wow, I just got new lines for Rockland County and my character finally, finally gets to interact with Arden and Dante (the previous interaction was very short). Roger Newcomb (a member of SON), who's the creator of both Scripts & Scruples as well as Rockland County has done a great job with both shows. I was a little hesitant at first about doing this, but as the weeks go by, I become more and more comfortable.

    If you've been following the show, Elijah and Dante don't really get along. Now that Dante has a "girlfriend", Elijah's sorta taking a liking to her. Their previous encouter at a bar showed that Dante seemed a little upset that Elijah was talking to Arden. This week he's gonna be even more upset! Tune into Rockland County.

    Rockland County airs Wednesdays and Fridays at 9:45am ET on Radio Loger and repeats on Soap Opera Radio (Live 365) throughout the week. Each episode now runs around ten minutes in length.

    After each episode airs on Radio Loger, it becomes available to listen to on this website, along with the transcript for that show.



    Rockland County

    Test Link For Me
  5. Ryan
    What a week it's been for me. Some good, some bad. But really bad on the boards. I got myself into a little bit of trouble this past week and while I won't go into it, I feel really bad. I took part in some things that were unneccessary and ended up making things worse. This just hasn't been a good week for me on SON.

    To those who may have been offended, I apologize. That was not my intention. Sometimes even the best of intentions come back and bite you on the ass as it did with me. You know who you are, and I won't say any names, but I'm sorry. I became a little oversensitive on some things, and too eager on others. This past week hasn't been me, Ryan Chandler. It's been someone who I haven't seen in a while. One who acts first without thinking. I will do my damndest to make sure it doesn't happen a again.
  6. Ryan

    Pissed off, very pissed off

    By Ryan,

    Enter The...oh the hell with it.


    I'm not gonna rant for long. I'll make this short and sweet. All of my plans for this week of been ruined. I was supposed to go down to Super Soap Weekend and enjoy myself. But no, Ryan can't be happy for too long can he? God damn it, my job decided today to exercise my "on call" clause in my contract due to me being the interim office administrator. Dude, I'm a freakin Executive Assistant, I don't want to run the office. The funny thing is though, tomorrow is a holiday for my job, but because the building I work in will be open, they have the ability to call me in. On the flip side, if I do go in, I get double the pay and I get to make up this holiday day at a later date. I'll probably add it to my Winter Vacation. Anyways, that's it.

    Chandler Out and Pissed The Hell Off!
  7. Ryan
    Enter The Chandler Zone

    Ever hear a song and it reminds you of something that is going on in your life or makes you re-evaluate how you handled a certain situation. Well, that happened to me today. I'm here listening to Carrie Underwood's new album and came across a song called "Starts With Goodbye". Here are the lyrics below.


    That song made me so think about my relationship with my ex girlfriend. Obviously I'm still hung up on her because we've been broken up since February 2004 and I still can't get her out of my system. Why? Because we didn't do a clean break. We still hang out, just yesterday we went to the Audioslave concert at the Borgota. Would normal couples who broke up still hang out casually...especially with the chaotic relationship that she and I had? I don't think so, but I can't help it and neither can she. This song made me think about how I've been hanging on to something that isn't there. I've been wanting to start an advice column but before I can, I need to take my own advice and let go.

    I really can't see myself without Michele. I mean we've been around each other since like forever. Yeah we went through our "evil" phase after our breakup but I felt a void in my life without her and now that she's around I feel myself slipping slowly and slowly back into relationship mode with her. That is something I don't want. I can't do. "Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye"....I guess I'm going to have to say goodbye to her. I can't move on and she's constantly around. If this means I have to move back to Manhattan permanately when our (my roomates and mine) house is finished being renovated so be it. I need a clean break, a fresh start, no string attached.

    I seriously feel that if I don't get away from her soon I'm going to have a breakdown. I mean, it doesn't bother me that she occasionally dates other people, but it in a way it does. I don't get jealous but I feel pain in my heart. I feel like a part of me is gone because I don't have her, but I have to realize why it is we broke up in the first place. I couldn't trust her. She hurt me. She betrayed me. No matter how much I repeat that I can't let go. I'm 19. For 6 years (off and on) she and I were like in each others soul. Everything we did when were were happy and angry was because of each other. Whenever we broke up and we tried to make each other jealous, it wasn't out of hate or anger it was out of love. When I broke up with her in February 2004, my heart ached for weeks because it was like I killed a part of myself and then the war began. Even after all the things she said and did to ruin my life, I couldn't be without her. I reached out to her to rebuild our friendship in November of 2004 and here we are a year later and I still haven't totally gotten her out of system.

    Am I stupid? Am I crazy? No, I'm not. I'm in love, hard. But I can't let go though I need to. I've learned in my psych classes that it's bad to be so emotionally attached to someone but whatelse can you be to someone you have loved and hated since you were a kid? When we got together it wasn't because "I like you, you like me, let's go out" it was stragegy. To make us more popular because cheerleaders should date football players. But I grew to love her. And though she infuriated the hell out of me, I saw myself being with her forever. No matter who it was we dated, we always ended back together because we needed to be chaotic together. Lol, we were voted most likely to be married and divorced 3 times to each other.

    I am now standing at a crossroad. Do I go down the road that I've taken for so many years, or do I do the unthinkable and say "Goodbye" to someone who ultimately it wouldn't work out with. I know I keep sending her mixed signals but I'm gonna to say goodbye to be happy. Do I think I'll ever care for someone as much as I care for her? Maybe I will, I'll always love her, but I can't be with her. One thing I know this pain is good for is acting. Thank god I have this pain to draw from when I need to be emotional. Oh my god, I mean I'm actually tearing up writing this. Maybe because this is it. This is the end. Shelle, I know you're gonna read this eventually and when you do I don't want you to get upset. I want you to go back and read how much you have dominated my life since we broke up. Go back and read my other blog entries and find out how many times I've cried over you. How many good relationships I was in since you that have ended because I though I said it, I wasn't able to move on. Know that I am saying goodbye because I do love you and because I need to be happy. You need to be happy. And we won't be able to do that unless one of us makes a clean break, and I'm gonna have to do it.

    One day we will look back on our relationship and realize that it made us stronger friends, but I can't do that until I end the story that is "The Ryan & Michelle Conflict". There is no catchy way to end this, no "witty" thing that I can say, just that I feel a major part of me has died and will be reborn after this is over.
  8. Ryan
    Enter The Chandler Zone

    Once again it's time for me to talk. And oh how I like to talk, lol. My main reason for posting is because I find myself to interested in the websoap that I participate in. Normally I would just call in my lines and listen to my part only, but man are things picking up. My character Elijah is involved in a hit and run accident...or is he? Listeners just found out that Elijah was not the one driving his car the day Caroline Hart was run down, he was in class taking finals all day, but his mom had the car. I'm liking the current storyline with Paul Ramos (who I swear had to be Elijah's father. I'm sticking with that plan) and Barbara. Hell, I like the entire show. If you're happen to read this, please click on the following link:

    Rockland County

    We are also podcasting now.

    I've also decided to start working on the concept for my soap again. I started this about a year or two ago during my TV Production class. We had to come up with a concept for a serialized drama, and I chose a soap that based on a combination of South Jersey beach towns (Brigantine, Margate, Point Pleasant, Sea Isle City). That's it for now.


    Chandler Out!
  9. Ryan

    Random Stuff

    By Ryan,

    Enter The Chandler Zone

    Thank god I am done with my damn paper. It was fun but jesus christ it took for freaking ever to write. It was on the steps leading up to a relationship...the courtship if you must give it a name. It was what do women look for in the steps leading up for a full blown relationship. After speaking with some close female friends of mine (who were great sources) I also decided that I will be working on an advice column with my best friend. Dunno how it'll work yet but I'm getting there.

    Now onto some random stuff:

    Is it just me or is Laguna Beach really addicting? I finally decided to give the show a chance and I am now hooked. Also, why is that I hear more music on Laguna Beach than I do on the entire MTV network? The network is MTV...Music Television, where's the god damn music? And no, the 1 hour of TRL and the 1 hour or so of Direct Effects doesn't count, nor does the two-three hours worth of music that is played in the morning.

    I might want to be more careful about what I put in my sig. Apparently what I put in there can be "offend"some people. Since like April I had "Soap Opera Network...Putting all other sites to shame" as a tag line under my banner. When we had all that drama back last month, someone called it "simply arrogant behaviour". I guess they thought I was putting a new site down. That wasn't true. And while my comment could be considered "arrogant" I was just showing support for the site that I work with. Maybe if I put "Soap Opera Network...Accept No Imitations" in my sig it would be the next of a long list of things that I have done or said recently to "offend" people. Lol, isn't the internet just fun?

    I think I'll be posting my wrestling column soon. I meant to post it last week from the week before but I got sidetracked. Things look good tonight. Wrestling fans make sure to watch WWE RAW live on the USA Network at 9pm!!

    Ashlee Simpson's new album is awesome. I am glad she bounced back from her incident last year. Lol, I remember the banner I made of her singing at the Orange Bowl, it wasn't very friendly, but I admited I was joking.

    What ever happened to the Goo Goo Dolls? I have their song "Iris" stuck in my head. They should release some more stuff.

    Make sure everyone checks out the Rockland County Websoap. This show has great writing and the cast is terrific. I'm not to proud of the job I've done so far, but I'm getting better. I just can't perfect the voice I'm supposed to use. Hmmm....being the fact that Rockland County is in New York...shouldn't Elijah have a NY accent? Better yet, shouldn't most of the cast have a NY accent? Just a thought. Anyways, that's it for now...


    Chandler Out!
  10. Ryan
    Maybe it could be the fact that I have a mild hangover, but I've been thinking about my father alot today. He and I don't have a great relationship and haven't had one for years. A friend of mine heard a song called "Confessions of a Broken Heart" by Lindsay Lohan and sent it to me. I could totally connect with the words. Anyways, I thought I'd post the lyrics to the song (which were edited to reflect me being the son)


    Confessions of a Broken Heart
    I wait for the postman to bring me a letter
    I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
    And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
    A family in crisis that only grows older...

    Why’d you have to go?
    Why’d you have to go?
    Why’d you have to go?

    Son to father, Son to father
    I am broken, but I am hoping
    Son to father, Son to father
    I am crying, a part of me is dying and
    These are, these are
    The confessions of a broken heart

    I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater
    I dream of another you the one who would never (never)
    Leave me alone to pick up the pieces
    A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed

    (So) why’d you have to go?
    Why’d you have to go?
    Why’d you have to go?

    Son to father, Son to father
    I don’t know you, but I still want to
    Son to father, Son to father
    Tell me the truth, did u ever love me?
    Cause these are, these are
    The confessions of a broken heart

    I love you
    I loved you
    I love you
    I........
    I loved you!

    Son to father, Son to father
    I don’t know you, but I still want to
    Son to father, Son to father
    Tell me the truth...
    Did you ever love me?
    Did you ever love me?!!
    These are....
    The confessions of a broken heart

    Ohh...yeah

    I wait for the postman...to bring a me a letter


    I'm sure there are many people who can relate to this song on many levels. Sure my father isn't in prison/jail, but he's still not here with me, and though I choose not to have a close personal relationship with him, I still wish things could be different. He chose his then girlfriend (now wife) and her children over me many times when I lived with him, he has no one to blame for alienating me but himself. He wasn't the same father who I knew growing up, and I blame him for that. He missed a lot becauses of his stupidity. My first touchdown in high school, my first drama production, my sophmore formal, junior and senior prom, and my graduation (though he was invited, but I didn't want him to bring his wife, he refused to come w/o her so I told him that's his loss.) and so many other things. So I feel bad about not reaching out more? Not really. I don't know him anymore. I am tired of reaching out and getting nothing in return. Maybe I should record my own version of this with my band and send my dad a copy.
  11. Ryan

    Song Stuck In My Head

    By Ryan,

    I don't know what it is with me lately, but I swear I am liking county music more and more. It's quite ridiculous how the same songs play over and over on contemporary radio, so I occasionally switch to the country station. Now, I've always liked certain songs, but I'm starting to like more and more. There's this one song that I can personally relate to. Now the lyrics aren't that great, but I just like the song in general. It's Josh Gracin's "Stay With Me"



    "Stay With Me"

    Baby, the clock on the wall is lying
    It's not really that late
    It's too cold outside to be walking around
    The streets of this town
    Anywhere if you think you have to be can wait

    [Chorus]
    (Baby) So why don't you stay with me?
    Share all your secrets tonight
    We can make believe the morning sun never will rise
    Come and lay your head on this big brass bed
    And we'll be alright as long as you stay with me, yeah

    Baby, there's just no use in hiding
    The way that I am feeling right now
    With you standing there baby I swear I can't help but stare
    Girl you're wearing me out, wearing me out

    [Chorus]
    (Baby) Why don't you stay with me?
    Share all your secrets tonight
    We can make believe
    The morning sun never will rise
    Come and lay your head on this big brass bed
    We'll be alright as long as you stay with me

    [bridge]
    Baby don't go it looks like it's starting to rain
    And it's so warm here in this apartment wrapped up in this blanket

    So Stay

    [Chorus]
    Stay with me....
    Share all your secrets tonight.
    We can make believe...
    The morning sun never will rise

    Come and lay your head on this big brass bed
    We'll be alright as long as you stay
    I'll be alright as long as you stay.....
    With me

    Stay With Me

    I don't really like the video. I don't know why I like that song so much. I like last line of the chorus, that's what hooked me. Plus, it kinda hits me personally. Especially since I care about the girl that I'm involved with off-and-on so much. I'll be doing these a lot. I'll hear a song and it'll make me think of something directly involved with my love life and I'll end up posting it on here.
  12. Ryan

    My Boss Is Hot!

    By Ryan,

    Enter The Chandler Zone

    I had a really, really good day at work. I met my new boss. She's freaking hot!!!!! Oh my god, I mean I went speechless when I saw her. I have to find a way to take some pictures of her to post on my blog. Work is gonna be really interesting starting October 3rd. I think I should turn on the SCC....the "Smooth Chandler Charm". Oh yeah, I think I've come up with my newest project...to make my boss....mine. She's 25, I'm 19. That's too big of a stretch.


    Chandler Out!
  13. Ryan

    My Weekend (Short Version)

    By Ryan,

    Today is my first offical day returning to SON. After about two weeks of dealing with some family issues and my own personal problems, it's nice to be able to get back online and just do nothing, lol.

    I celebrated my 19th birthday on Saturday, September 24. My roomates took me out for my birthday. I really enjoyed it. The club was really awesome, I plan on going back in a few weeks. Saturday started off pretty late. My roomates and I stayed up until like 3 on Friday just hanging out with some girls we met a few weeks ago. I ended up taking some Nyquill and slept until 2. Not my perfect idea of a Saturday morning, but it felt good to sleep so damn late.

    Today was pretty good. I stayed home and shook off what happened last night. The SON meeting was pretty productive and we managed to get a lot done. Thank gone we're back up and running. I HATE Ezboard.

    Anyways, that's it for my first blog entry.

    Chandler Out!
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