http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110106/ap_on_sp_ot/fig_weir_book

I volunteer at like elderly homes because they have such good stories they want to tell, and i want to hear. Id like it if we lived in a less judgemental world, but i do not think that is going to happen. I do however hope one day people will stop holding others to the snap judgements they make and give them a chance to change there view on them.

Jack, I think this is why we like soaps. We enjoy hearing other people's stories and how people deal with life's situations.

I am very happy to hear you say that (see you type that? lol) because i dont feel one aspect of a person, however big it may be to them, should ever define them. It is sad to me that so many people let one thing like that or race/gender/class/etc be the sole definition of a person.

I am just full of so many emotions/views/things that make me me that i could never imagine how anyone could define a person based on one thing. I wish we lived in a world where more people were just open to other people and got to know them. I love to get to know people and hear there stories about there lives and what has shaped them. I volunteer at like elderly homes because they have such good stories they want to tell, and i want to hear. Id like it if we lived in a less judgemental world, but i do not think that is going to happen. I do however hope one day people will stop holding others to the snap judgements they make and give them a chance to change there view on them.

It is interesting to me too that being gay has affected decisions and outcomes in your life, when in mine it rarely has. It is hard for me to if being gay has had a big impact on what i believe in, because i would like to think that even if i was not i would have the same belief system...

I think I would still have the same belief system either way, but being who I am has given me the conviction needed to stick to it and stand up for it without being easily swayed.

Like...think of anything and everything that children and teenagers do in regards to relationships and finding a girlfriend or boyfriend. I always tell my straight friends to think about the first person they ever had a crush on and how, if they'd wanted to, they could have told that person how they felt without worrying about being the latest bit of gossip on everybody's tongue, which would no doubt cause problems, which would no doubt end up in the office and then at home with your parents. Growing up, even as young as nine or ten, people would bug me, "Why you don't have a girlfriend, why you're not looking at some girls, when are you getting a girlfriend????" and at that age, I was already 100% certain of my sexuality (well, not entirely so...I knew I liked guys, and I knew I had interest in girls, but I thought the former overruled the latter and that was it), so imagine having to be a middle school student having to answer to aunts and uncles and cousins asking you why you don't have a girlfriend.

I only went to one dance in high school (and had an incredible time, so that was my mistake) because I couldn't deal with the pressure. I would have been content with going stag every single time (and ultimately, I did go stag to my senior prom), but by that point, I was so affected by the constant "You don't have a girlfriend?!" comments that I didn't even want to run the risk of that coming up. I didn't want to go with a girl who was a friend because my desperate parents would make all kind of assumptions -- even if they didn't verbalize those assumptions -- about something going on between me and the girl. I think it's hilarious that I started using the excuse, "I want to concentrate on school and getting my education" when I was like 10, and they STILL accept that as a valid excuse now when I'm nearly 21 years old. It's hilarious and sad, for me and for them.

I do consider myself lucky, though, because the high school I went to was fairly gay-friendly as far as the student body and most of the teachers were concerned. We had tons of lesbians, some real and some pretend, but only two or three out gay guys, none of whom were really my type, and I'm sure I wasn't theirs. Of course there were homophobes (many of whom I think acted homophobic even though they weren't just because they felt that accepting and respecting LGBTism makes people assume you are LGBT, which didn't happen at our school, so that made no sense), but the vast majority was accepting and respectful and very understanding and even curious about gay issues. The curiosity is what really killed me the most some times LOL I told this jock-ish baseball guy that I knew I could trust, and he kept asking me what turned me on. He came up to me after school in his uniform on the way to practice once, spread his legs and bent over in front of me, all "Don't tell me this doesn't get you hot!"

I was able to come out to a good number of friends, and in college, I took the initiative to no longer conceal it from anyone I met. I don't introduce myself as "Hey, my name is...I'm gay, by the way, so I hope that's cool with you." But if something ever comes up in discussion where my saying something would clue everyone in, then I don't try to talk around it or keep quiet, I just say it, and it's great. So school and friends started to become easier by the time high school started, and by graduation, it was mostly a non-issue. Home and family is a completely different story in almost every conceivable way.

I could go further with this, but I don't want to bore you I've long thought about putting this [!@#$%^&*] on paper (or on a flash drive) and somehow making some sort of story out of it...just a linear story of what it meant to be a gay/bi young man growing up in the south.

Edited January 9, 201114 yr by All My Shadows

I think I would still have the same belief system either way, but being who I am has given me the conviction needed to stick to it and stand up for it without being easily swayed.

Like...think of anything and everything that children and teenagers do in regards to relationships and finding a girlfriend or boyfriend. I always tell my straight friends to think about the first person they ever had a crush on and how, if they'd wanted to, they could have told that person how they felt without worrying about being the latest bit of gossip on everybody's tongue, which would no doubt cause problems, which would no doubt end up in the office and then at home with your parents. Growing up, even as young as nine or ten, people would bug me, "Why you don't have a girlfriend, why you're not looking at some girls, when are you getting a girlfriend????" and at that age, I was already 100% certain of my sexuality (well, not entirely so...I knew I liked guys, and I knew I had interest in girls, but I thought the former overruled the latter and that was it), so imagine having to be a middle school student having to answer to aunts and uncles and cousins asking you why you don't have a girlfriend.

I only went to one dance in high school (and had an incredible time, so that was my mistake) because I couldn't deal with the pressure. I would have been content with going stag every single time (and ultimately, I did go stag to my senior prom), but by that point, I was so affected by the constant "You don't have a girlfriend?!" comments that I didn't even want to run the risk of that coming up. I didn't want to go with a girl who was a friend because my desperate parents would make all kind of assumptions -- even if they didn't verbalize those assumptions -- about something going on between me and the girl. I think it's hilarious that I started using the excuse, "I want to concentrate on school and getting my education" when I was like 10, and they STILL accept that as a valid excuse now when I'm nearly 21 years old. It's hilarious and sad, for me and for them.

I do consider myself lucky, though, because the high school I went to was fairly gay-friendly as far as the student body and most of the teachers were concerned. We had tons of lesbians, some real and some pretend, but only two or three out gay guys, none of whom were really my type, and I'm sure I wasn't theirs. Of course there were homophobes (many of whom I think acted homophobic even though they weren't just because they felt that accepting and respecting LGBTism makes people assume you are LGBT, which didn't happen at our school, so that made no sense), but the vast majority was accepting and respectful and very understanding and even curious about gay issues. The curiosity is what really killed me the most some times LOL I told this jock-ish baseball guy that I knew I could trust, and he kept asking me what turned me on. He came up to me after school in his uniform on the way to practice once, spread his legs and bent over in front of me, all "Don't tell me this doesn't get you hot!"

I was able to come out to a good number of friends, and in college, I took the initiative to no longer conceal it from anyone I met. I don't introduce myself as "Hey, my name is...I'm gay, by the way, so I hope that's cool with you." But if something ever comes up in discussion where my saying something would clue everyone in, then I don't try to talk around it or keep quiet, I just say it, and it's great. So school and friends started to become easier by the time high school started, and by graduation, it was mostly a non-issue. Home and family is a completely different story in almost every conceivable way.

I could go further with this, but I don't want to bore you I've long thought about putting this [!@#$%^&*] on paper (or on a flash drive) and somehow making some sort of story out of it...just a linear story of what it meant to be a gay/bi young man growing up in the south.

You didn't bore me. It was a great read about your life. The baseball player bending over in front of you was the best...lol.....why couldnt that have happened to me?? But I truly understamd.

My life mirrors yours a lot.

Edited January 9, 201114 yr by Soapsuds

I think I would still have the same belief system either way, but being who I am has given me the conviction needed to stick to it and stand up for it without being easily swayed.

Like...think of anything and everything that children and teenagers do in regards to relationships and finding a girlfriend or boyfriend. I always tell my straight friends to think about the first person they ever had a crush on and how, if they'd wanted to, they could have told that person how they felt without worrying about being the latest bit of gossip on everybody's tongue, which would no doubt cause problems, which would no doubt end up in the office and then at home with your parents. Growing up, even as young as nine or ten, people would bug me, "Why you don't have a girlfriend, why you're not looking at some girls, when are you getting a girlfriend????" and at that age, I was already 100% certain of my sexuality (well, not entirely so...I knew I liked guys, and I knew I had interest in girls, but I thought the former overruled the latter and that was it), so imagine having to be a middle school student having to answer to aunts and uncles and cousins asking you why you don't have a girlfriend.

I only went to one dance in high school (and had an incredible time, so that was my mistake) because I couldn't deal with the pressure. I would have been content with going stag every single time (and ultimately, I did go stag to my senior prom), but by that point, I was so affected by the constant "You don't have a girlfriend?!" comments that I didn't even want to run the risk of that coming up. I didn't want to go with a girl who was a friend because my desperate parents would make all kind of assumptions -- even if they didn't verbalize those assumptions -- about something going on between me and the girl. I think it's hilarious that I started using the excuse, "I want to concentrate on school and getting my education" when I was like 10, and they STILL accept that as a valid excuse now when I'm nearly 21 years old. It's hilarious and sad, for me and for them.

I do consider myself lucky, though, because the high school I went to was fairly gay-friendly as far as the student body and most of the teachers were concerned. We had tons of lesbians, some real and some pretend, but only two or three out gay guys, none of whom were really my type, and I'm sure I wasn't theirs. Of course there were homophobes (many of whom I think acted homophobic even though they weren't just because they felt that accepting and respecting LGBTism makes people assume you are LGBT, which didn't happen at our school, so that made no sense), but the vast majority was accepting and respectful and very understanding and even curious about gay issues. The curiosity is what really killed me the most some times LOL I told this jock-ish baseball guy that I knew I could trust, and he kept asking me what turned me on. He came up to me after school in his uniform on the way to practice once, spread his legs and bent over in front of me, all "Don't tell me this doesn't get you hot!"

I was able to come out to a good number of friends, and in college, I took the initiative to no longer conceal it from anyone I met. I don't introduce myself as "Hey, my name is...I'm gay, by the way, so I hope that's cool with you." But if something ever comes up in discussion where my saying something would clue everyone in, then I don't try to talk around it or keep quiet, I just say it, and it's great. So school and friends started to become easier by the time high school started, and by graduation, it was mostly a non-issue. Home and family is a completely different story in almost every conceivable way.

I could go further with this, but I don't want to bore you I've long thought about putting this [!@#$%^&*] on paper (or on a flash drive) and somehow making some sort of story out of it...just a linear story of what it meant to be a gay/bi young man growing up in the south.

That's a great story. I loved reading it. It's always a double edged sword, I can look at your genereation and think "you lucky bitches!" because I dealt with alot more hassle in school all starting with other kids calling me SISSY. But that was 1974, and it didn't get much better for the rest of my school experience. And then, on the other hand.... I look at the guys who were 15 years older than ME, and I thank my lucky stars that we had the sexually permissive 70's to soften the blow on me in the 80's when teenager stuff came along. I could go to a gay bar and not have to worry about getting arrested when I got grown, unlike the older generation. I was also lucky in that I developed early and was physically tall for my age, so didn't get picked on as much as if I was the proverbial "99 pound weakling". So I guess we all have some blessings to count. That story about the guy in the baseball uniform is HILARIOUS, you should have grabbed his ass to see his reaction! LOL

Edited January 10, 201114 yr by alphanguy74

That's a great story. I loved reading it. It's always a double edged sword, I can look at your genereation and think "you lucky bitches!" because I dealt with alot more hassle in school all starting with other kids calling me SISSY. But that was 1974, and it didn't get much better for the rest of my school experience. And then, on the other hand.... I look at the guys who were 15 years older than ME, and I thank my lucky stars that we had the sexually permissive 70's to soften the blow on me in the 80's when teenager stuff came along. I could go to a gay bar and not have to worry about getting arrested when I got grown, unlike the older generation. I was also lucky in that I developed early and was physically tall for my age, so didn't get picked on as much as if I was the proverbial "99 pound weakling". So I guess we all have some blessings to count. That story about the guy in the baseball uniform is HILARIOUS, you should have grabbed his ass to see his reaction! LOL

You didnt have teens coming out in the 70's and 80's like you do now. IMO..this generation has it easier than we did. I didn't know a single gay guy in my school. Of course there was but no one came out.

You didnt have teens coming out in the 70's and 80's like you do now. IMO..this generation has it easier than we did. I didn't know a single gay guy in my school. Of course there was but no one came out.

They do have it easier, but we also had it easier than those in the 50's. At least in out generation we could come out as adults without complete ostracization most times. Last month I saw the guy that I felt up on the school bus when I was 14. He had a wife and a couple of kids. Gave me a STRANGE look.

They do have it easier, but we also had it easier than those in the 50's. At least in out generation we could come out as adults without complete ostracization most times. Last month I saw the guy that I felt up on the school bus when I was 14. He had a wife and a couple of kids. Gave me a STRANGE look.

you shouldnt have felt him up when u were younger.....lol

you shouldnt have felt him up when u were younger.....lol

Well, he was the one who instigated it!

I could go further with this, but I don't want to bore you I've long thought about putting this [!@#$%^&*] on paper (or on a flash drive) and somehow making some sort of story out of it...just a linear story of what it meant to be a gay/bi young man growing up in the south.

That was a interesting story and i am glad your shared it with us.

Last month I saw the guy that I felt up on the school bus when I was 14. He had a wife and a couple of kids. Gave me a STRANGE look.

LOL, I just had dinner and drinks with an old guy friend and his wife. They have three kids. I thought going into it she did not know we use to foold around, but by the fourth shot she brought it up, lol. It was amusing.

Curious guys are my weakness. They are the ones i always want and go for.

That story about the guy in the baseball uniform is HILARIOUS, you should have grabbed his ass to see his reaction! LOL

Oh, don't think I never copped a feel! They knew how horrible the state of affairs was for gay guys in our school who had sex drives just like everyone else, so they let me have my fun every now and then

I always fall for the ones who are too nice/understanding. Growing up, very few people took the time to get to know me, really know me, and care about me, so I always latch on to the ones who are nice to me by default, even though that's just common courtesy.

Well, he was the one who instigated it!

LOL..I guess he isnt as straight as he appears.

That was a interesting story and i am glad your shared it with us.

LOL, I just had dinner and drinks with an old guy friend and his wife. They have three kids. I thought going into it she did not know we use to foold around, but by the fourth shot she brought it up, lol. It was amusing.

Curious guys are my weakness. They are the ones i always want and go for.

I know of a particular bi guy you went for.....lol. He use to be an SON member....lol

AMS, very interesting stories, thanks for sharing. I'm glad that "It (Got) Better" .

There's also a certain type of straight man who is essentially a narcissist who gets off on adoration regardless of the admirer's sex. I have a friend who is like this, I think Mario Lopez and Marcus Patrick are more famous examples. I can't remember the name of the program, but years ago on PBS there was a show/documentary about latin teens in L.A. One of the friends in the group was a gay guy and he was all, "I don't do black and I don't do asian" blah blah, and his macho/chauvinistic friend was sort of asking him embarrassingly graphic questions for the cameras ("Do you *blank* *blank*? I like to on girls, especially if she's like lightskinned"). I mean, did this guy ever think his mom might see this?? Maybe he didn't care. At any rate, then he was like, "I mean, would you kiss me right now if I tried to?" and he leaned in to kiss him and immediately pulled back like "Haha!" and the gay guy was sort of blushing and embarrassed as he was totally up for it. You know, jerks like that.

This whole thread is alternately freaking me out and making me wish I could meet all of you in person! I feel like that's an HBO series waiting to happen.

Oh and to the topic, a gay figure skater. What's next? A black jazz musician?

AMS, very interesting stories, thanks for sharing. I'm glad that "It (Got) Better" .

There's also a certain type of straight man who is essentially a narcissist who gets off on adoration regardless of the admirer's sex. I have a friend who is like this, I think Mario Lopez and Marcus Patrick are more famous examples. I can't remember the name of the program, but years ago on PBS there was a show/documentary about latin teens in L.A. One of the friends in the group was a gay guy and he was all, "I don't do black and I don't do asian" blah blah, and his macho/chauvinistic friend was sort of asking him embarrassingly graphic questions for the cameras ("Do you *blank* *blank*? I like to on girls, especially if she's like lightskinned"). I mean, did this guy ever think his mom might see this?? Maybe he didn't care. At any rate, then he was like, "I mean, would you kiss me right now if I tried to?" and he leaned in to kiss him and immediately pulled back like "Haha!" and the gay guy was sort of blushing and embarrassed as he was totally up for it. You know, jerks like that.

Yes, it got lots better It was never that bad, though. School never got that bad, at least. Home, definitely, but school, definitely not. Oh, I was called names (pick one, any one, and I was called it), but it wasn't a day-to-day thing. When it was bad, it was horrible, but it would never last, so I was all right. It was actually kinda around this time (middle school) that I sorta formulated my "type." Most guys regarded me as less than them because I sucked at sports, so any athletic guy who was really good at sports but also respected me and treated me like a friend was instantly my crush of the week The very first one, though...I don't think I've ever stopped having feelings for. Whenever I think I've finally grown up and moved on, he comes into my life some miraculously way just to remind me of how wonderful he was at a time when I needed someone like him the most...but that's another story for another day

I totally know what you're talking about with the narcissistic guys. See, this reminds me of my high school PE class that I had with one of the out gay guys (who was the most visible because...this is south, if you're a teenage guy who is out of the closet, somehow you end up on the front page of the newspaper) in my school. The straight guys LOVED that dude. They loved him. You got a shitload of teenage guys with a crapload of hormones sitting around a locker room in their underwear for ten minutes every day. we're going to talk about sex a lot. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't have the guts to come out to some of them because I knew I would have been more comfortable in the situation (which wasn't bad really because I thought I was going to hate PE that year, but I absolutely loved it because most of the guys fit right into the type I described earlier -- but I managed to keep my feelings in check, so I was proud of myself haha). I'll never forget the day we were playing the "would you?" game, where we basically answered if we'd do something embarrassing or gross for a million dollars or whatever. I won't say what the question was, but everybody said yes immediately. Almost too immediately, lol.

I just realizes I tell long ass stories hahaha I really need to work on putting this all together.

Yes, it got lots better It was never that bad, though. School never got that bad, at least. Home, definitely, but school, definitely not. Oh, I was called names (pick one, any one, and I was called it), but it wasn't a day-to-day thing. When it was bad, it was horrible, but it would never last, so I was all right. It was actually kinda around this time (middle school) that I sorta formulated my "type." Most guys regarded me as less than them because I sucked at sports, so any athletic guy who was really good at sports but also respected me and treated me like a friend was instantly my crush of the week The very first one, though...I don't think I've ever stopped having feelings for. Whenever I think I've finally grown up and moved on, he comes into my life some miraculously way just to remind me of how wonderful he was at a time when I needed someone like him the most...but that's another story for another day

I totally know what you're talking about with the narcissistic guys. See, this reminds me of my high school PE class that I had with one of the out gay guys (who was the most visible because...this is south, if you're a teenage guy who is out of the closet, somehow you end up on the front page of the newspaper) in my school. The straight guys LOVED that dude. They loved him. You got a shitload of teenage guys with a crapload of hormones sitting around a locker room in their underwear for ten minutes every day. we're going to talk about sex a lot. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't have the guts to come out to some of them because I knew I would have been more comfortable in the situation (which wasn't bad really because I thought I was going to hate PE that year, but I absolutely loved it because most of the guys fit right into the type I described earlier -- but I managed to keep my feelings in check, so I was proud of myself haha). I'll never forget the day we were playing the "would you?" game, where we basically answered if we'd do something embarrassing or gross for a million dollars or whatever. I won't say what the question was, but everybody said yes immediately. Almost too immediately, lol.

I just realizes I tell long ass stories hahaha I really need to work on putting this all together.

Another great story. Keep them coming. I remember the guys in my locker room hiding their junk...afraid one of the closeted gay guys would see his weiner...lol I also thought I would hate PE but loved it....lol There was this guy who was a year older than me who i thought was gay. We werent friends just went to the same school. Well i ran into him twice already...the first meeting was like how are you doing ...long time no see...I was like(thinking) you are confusing me with someone else... He is like you are from so and so and we went to school together....I am like yeah...but didnt know you noticed me....the guy was tall and skinny back then...now he is fat and losing his hair......anyways..I was never attracted to him....so we chatted and lett..well i saw him again recently.....and he was like long time no see...I was like WTF...I just saw you a couple of months ago....lol....he was real agressive....grabbing my shoulder....and telling me where he lived and to go visit him ..and he asked where I lived...but I thought he meant where I worked...lol...and told him that...and i happened to see him the other day running down a street close to where I work.....lol

AMS...is the guy you liked still hot looking??