Spare the rod, spoil the child

[R!ck]

So I got into a discussion with my friend today who says she doesn't believe in spanking her son. I was at her house having a BBQ and he was running amock, of course he is 8 and boys will be boys I understand that. Well he went into the garage and was playing with a hammer. He was hitting everything in sight with the hammer. He'd hit the trees, then pound on the deck, and started pounding on the side of the house. She told him to stop hitting the house or he is going to get sent to his room. he got mad at her for telling him to stop, and hauled off and hit her kitchen window with the hammer shattering the glass. Well she just acts like it's nothing and says in the most calm voice. Hunter, you get up to your room. He yells hahaha and tells her he don't care, he'll just go play his Playstation 2 That's It? He breaks out the window and gets sent to his room to play video games??

Your probably thinking it's none of my business how she disciplines her child, but we have been friends for over 20 years and always tell each other what we think, good or bad, I told her that he deserved a spanking for doing that. So she tells me that she thinks spanking causes a child to be violent. And before they get ready for bed, she will have a talk with him about how disappointed she is that he busted out the window. She thinks talking it out will keep him from doing it again.

Now, I don't believe in abuse. Parents who abuse their kids need to tied up and beat with ball bats. I think any kind of whipping that causes bleeding and bruises is abuse. I am a firm believer in spanking a child. When I did something bad as a child, I got a couple strikes with the belt or a switch, and I sure as hell knew not to do it again. 99% of the time I needed it, that other 1% was because my sister lied on me LOL

Only 23 states still allow school paddling, but every state should. If the parents aren't going to punish their kids, someone should. Maybe that would eliminate some problems with todays youth. (Now, I sound old )

What are you guys thoughts on spanking?

[Actor87]

DO IT!!

[alwaysAMC]

I got spanked and I'm not f'ed up over it. I say spanking is ok - as long as it doesn't get too abusive. There should be fear instilled for recognizing bad action, but not fear for your parents. It's a fine line.

[Bree]

I got spanked as a child and I didn't turn out violent or screwed up.

I'm all for spanking. Today's kids have gotten brattier and brattier, thanks to overindulgent parents and so-called experts. Time-outs and those types of punishments don't work for every kid.

[Ms. Walsh]

I think that the problem with a lot of children today is that their parents spoil them. When I was a child, my sister and I had chores to do from the time we were about 5, like cleaning our rooms, cleaning the kitchen and living room, doing dishes, preparing for meals, doing laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, gardening, taking care of the animals, taking care of our grandmother, making breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner, taking out the trash, separating the recycables, etc. And we never got paid for any of it.

I knew so many people my age that either didn't do anything or did half of what we did and got paid $10-20 a week for it. I'm not saying that we were deprived or anything b/c we definitely weren't...our parents provided for us and we had plenty of toys and sources of entertainment growing up. But there are kids who, every time they go out with their parents, get whatever they want. The parents think that they can buy their love, and then the kids treat them like crap.

Even now, I see the effects of kids who grow up spoiled in college. Some people can't even do their own laundry, and sometimes they won't wash their sheets for the whole semester...it's disgusting. And in my room, I'm always the one responsible for dusting, vacuuming, emptying the trash and recycle bin; otherwise, my roommate will definitely not do it. And then people trashed our dining room (which we use as a study area), and nobody picks it up. It's just nasty.

[SteveFrame]

[!@#$%^&*] I got spankings too. And I think I turned out pretty good. And all 3 of my kids got spankings too but not nearly as many as I got. I am all for spanking as long as it doesn't get abusive. In fact there are some kids in my neighborhood that could do with a really good spanking now. LOL

[kelli_blue]

As a child, I was spanked when only when I was really bad, and my husband and I did the same with our children when they were younger and would NOT listen.

There are only so many *warnings* you can give a child before you've had it and sometimes a spanking is the only way to get the message across.

[crc]

I'm all for spankings. Just as everyone else is saying, as long as it's not abusive. I think a parent should take a second to evaluate the situation before he/she proceeds. I mean, if you're in a bad way already... just got fired, just finished yelling at a bill collector, just got your auto repair bill which was 10X what you expected to pay...maybe that's not the time to spank. LOL!

But if you don't believe in spankings, I respect that, but a problem I have with Rick's friend is that she said she will wait until he goes to bed to "have a talk." In this case, the child is old enough to remember what the talk is about, but still, a situation like that should be dealt with at the moment the incident happened while everything is still fresh on everyones minds and the consequences are more relevant.

[chrishntr]

I have three kids, and there are times that no matter how much you warn them that a spanking is in order. Like someone said above, as long as it doesn't get abusive.

For me it was hard to decide whether to spank or not when I had kids, because I came from a very abusive childhood, and I guess I was afraid I would be more like my father. But I wasn't. I spanked my kids when they needed it and quite frankly when they learned that they were not going to get away with some times, they stopped doing them. My boys are now 17 and 13, very good kids. And my little girl is 10. And they seem to be very happy, and their spankings didn't or haven't ruined them.

If the child needs it, then do it.

[titan1978]

I kind of have an interesting perspective on this. My mother was emotionally and physically abused by her parents as a child/teen. When she had children, she made a concerted effort not to do to us what was done to her, including not spaking, afraid it would lead to more trouble for us if she lost her cool. This was in the 1970's and early 80's, when this was kind of rare. I was by far the only child I knew who was not spanked, and the same with my older sister.

We were not spoiled though, and were tought discipline.

Some of my other relatives choose to raise their kids differently. I have cousins who were spanked often, and they are horrible monsters, as children and as adults. They were also spoiled by everyone. My parents raised us in a way that we knew we were loved and special, but not better than everyone else, or more deserving of attention.

I think what is missing is discipline. My feelings as an adult are people should raise their families how they see fit, with the tools they wish to use, as long as abuse is not the solution. But spanking without teaching discipline is worthless. You just raise someone who knows how to take a hit and doesn't understand the consequences, or the reason behind why the punishment is deserved. A brat can be raised with spanking just as easily as not spanking.

[Heatherhcb]

Hell ya spank you kids!!! It teaches you a lesson and you probably won't do it again. I got spenked and I am perfectly fine. I think I am better because of it!! I am not spoiled and don't get myself into bad situations!!! I think that parents are afraid to spank their kids because people get on their case and say it is child abuse....whatever!!!!

[OneLife Fan]

Exactly!! I agree!!

[KBT]

I am all for spanking, simply because if you dont the kids will railroad you by 12 or 13 years old. I have seen this in so many cases and it pisses me off. My dad's best friend has one son and he is allowed to do anything he pleases and the second anyone tells him NO, he screams and goes ballistic. My dad's best friend refuses to spank him and just quietly tells him to stop which 9 times out of 10 doesnt work. The kid is now 13 and brattier than EVER, I almost hate the kid but I understand its not really his fault, it is just how he was brought up. He knows I always have gum in somewhere in my room, so he always tries to steal a pack. I caught him one time and told the little brat he better run before I throw him through the front door(I would never do that)! I just tried to put some fear in him becuase his dad could care less what his son does and that is what pisses me off so much. He just doesnt care, what kind of parent just lets their child do whatever he wants? I cant wait until he turns 16 and really starts to do whatever he wants, it wont be fun for the dad then. My parents whipped me and I am glad they did, because it taught me to respect them as well as others. Timeouts in corners never work and any parent who uses that method gets what they deserve, a bratty ass child.

I am however against spanking in schools! If a teacher tried to touch me in school I hit back. This only happened twice, but no one touches me except for my parents. I was taught to be very respectful and most say me and my siblings are so well mannered its like we are robots. Anyway, I remember a teacher in Home Economics in either 7th or 8th grade pinched me for talking even though everyone else in class was as well. Well I turned around in my seat and pinched her back as hard as I could. My parents didnt teach me to do that, but I felt I didnt do anything wrong, so I pinched the !@#$%^&*] back. Thats just how I am! The funny thing is I never got in trouble for pinching her, since I had never gotten in trouble the principal just told me to not do that anymore. I just think some teachers will pick out kids just for the hell of it and start paddling, so I am against that idea. Most people will believe the teachers over the students no matter the situation again why I am against school paddling/whipping!

[SpiritualJunkie]

YES, I am ALL for spanking and much needed self-discipline!

Me and my sister got spankings as a kid a few times and we turned out fine. Someone mentioned there's no point in spanking without self-discipline...well, isn't that the whole POINT of spanking? My parents would always give us fair warning that we were going to get spanked if we didn't stop doing something bad and they said it in a tone of voice that really drove the message across..especially my dad, 'cause he is always so calm and collected but when he's angry, everyone knows it so the spanking threats were obviously there for a good reason.

When I went to the States to stay with my dad's family...I just saw first-hand the bad effects of not discipling your child. My cousin's 7-year-old daughter is essentially a nice kid but my God, she was friggin' SPOILED and could not take no for an answer! Everday that we went out, they would buy something for her, she was soo picky about her food, she often backtalked at my cousin and my cousin never even threatened to spank her...I think she told her "Don't talk to me like that!" about once and that was it. As for buying stuff everyday, if my cousin was trying to find a reason not to buy her daughter something..she would say, "I don't have any money" rather than, "I can't buy you something every single day. It's a waste of money and money doesn't grow on trees!" Saying the former is clearly a lie and of course, few children aren't going to buy that. My cousin's other daughter, who is 17 and the complete opposite of her sister even told my cousin point blank that her sister was getting spoiled.

It amazes me how there are some people who have never done household chores. Now, I admit I tend to procrastinate (and I would rather clean the toilet before I dusted the house) but I will clean my bathroom when it does start to get too unsightly, I've been doing dishes since I was in elementary school, and while my parent's obsession with cleanliness is one reason I tend to avoid chores, I KNOW how to vacuum, do the laundry, etc. How many kids who have never done any household chores or bothered to learn are going to grow up and not have a friggin' clue as to how to run a washing machine or a dishwasher? Everyone wants to move out of the house yet do little to no chores..how ironic is that?

[Ryan]

I'm glad this topic was brought up. My opinions on spanking my children changed over the past two years. I always told myself that I would never spank my children because I thought there were better ways around it. I used to believe that the problem between the child and the parent could be resolved without hitting (seeing as how I had a problem with my father hitting me and still harbor ill will towards him because of it).

I stayed off and on with my aunt during my senior year of high school and realized just how good a spanking will do. My aunt has twin sons who are the most evil little bastards I've seen, ever. They wouldn't listen to her when she told them what to do, they'd talk back, disrespect her and fight with each other. They'd show out in public and just do things to irritate her. Why? No discipline. When you punish a kid, you make sure that they will have NO fun whatsover for the timeframe that is established. My aunt would send them to their room and tell them no tv or games for the rest of the day. One little bastard would say "it's ok Evan, we can have fun again at midnight because it's a new day". And she wouldn't do a thing about it. There was no follow up. She'd also send them to their room with no tv, but they would just cut the volume down and watch it. She began to wonder why no one wanted her little bad asses to come to over to their house. However, when their stepfather would discipline them (he'd only do it if she wasn't there), they wouldn't act up for a long time. I realized that "talking" to your kids will not work all of the time.

That's not to say that talking to my own children won't work, and I'm going to try that approach, but if it doesn't work I have the spanking to fall back on. I believe when you spank your children, you need to let them know exactly why they are being disciplined. I'm sorry, but saying "you know why" isn't a reason.