Worst Musical Acts

[frequentsoapfan]

I guess I just feel like if it's not a soap about singers and dancers than characters shouldn't be singing and dancing for the most part. I mean looknig back JR Chandler being in a boyband was ridiculous!

[Vee]

I hate virtually all singing on soaps. Hate it. Even when it seems to be viable on paper, and there are times when it could, there's almost no way to make that work without it coming off horribly cheesy and almost immediately dated. The only times it works for me are in specialty episodes like the second OLTL musical - Starr-Crossed Lovers in 2010, which was actually a lot of silly fun with people like Tika Sumpter, etc. getting to show their stuff (the original musical in 2007 was godawful) - or for vaguely organic reasons, like when the OLTL college crowd went to "Karaoke Night" at Ultra Violet in 2003 and Marcie got to sing Janis Joplin. That was something college kids would actually do, and it was cute. But Sarah Roberts/"Flash," while another nice idea on paper, was dreadful in execution. The problem with most musician characters on soaps is that you have to eventually show them singing, and that is usually interminable. Even when they're really very good, like Jay Wilkison (Riley Colson).

Juan on GH was awful. Though I liked Ned as a character, I never liked "rock star Eddie Maine" and never believed this square middle aged man could possibly be some hot star in the grunge-era '90s. Straight up Easy Listening. Back on OLTL, Blair's singing always terribly embarrassed me - she's had a few good bits over the years with that, like when she and Victor did a spooky, foreboding rendition of "My Funny Valentine" alone at the piano in 2003, or when she sang the theme song over the opening credits, but most of it was wretched, like that horrible song at Todd and Blair's wedding in 2001. Blair singing has just never fit the character for me, though I can hardly blame the actress for writing something she enjoyed into her contract after years of uncomplaining service. Evangeline, well, REG was a lovely singer, but I just couldn't stand that either. It seemed like there was a point where she would just do it at the drop of a hat. I remember one day they did a [!@#$%^&*] montage over her and Layla caterwauling in harmony for absolutely no good reason. After they made Van's silly ass "acting DA" I used to have nightmares about another montage with her singing to Matthew to comfort him just after Dena Higley pulled the plug on Contract Coma Nora.

Then there's Starr, who went from a scheming terror to a saccharine teen heroine who can't ever stop belting out the same horribly tapioca-sounding songs. Kristen was an amazing big voice from a little girl when she sang in "Babes Behind Bars" in 2002, but as an adult that [!@#$%^&*] ruined her.

It's not that singers like Renee aren't very talented, because she is, or that even singers like Kassie DePaiva or yes, Kristen Alderson don't have certain types of music and songs that work very well with their voices - they both have done some great songs alongside some truly terrible ones. It's that it doesn't fit the characters. Nine times out of ten singing doesn't work, thus I think music stories on soaps have to be carefully done, or not done at all. While the character was lame, I thought the idea of Baz on OLTL two years ago was not bad - he was a DJ and an electronic dance music artist. Those exist, it's a current and timely profession, and it doesn't require him to actually sing. Unfortunately, Starr sang anyway. I can't think of a voice less suited for EDM - she's all Broadway.

[yr9190]

Haha I remember Dreamstreet! I knew Jesse McCartney was on AMC, but I had know idea he actually performed with the group on there.

was Agnes still writing the show here? this seems like out of her territory even though I know she can write anything.

[Vee]

Oh, Christ! I remember this. This is just about that horrific period where Passanante had completely driven AMC into the ground. Scheming Dr. David and Dixie standing there nodding their heads to fuckin' Dream Street.

The difference is that little Jesse McCartney was such a good actor at that point - and elevated virtually all that material - that I forgave that kid just about anything.

[frequentsoapfan]

I prefer him better as a solo artist anyway and I don't remember him pushing his music career through Summerland thought I also blocked out most of Sean Christian on that show

[Vee]

This is awesome.

[teplin]

Patty Weaver (Trish) actually sang quite a lot in the '70s. I loved every single second of it, as I did any time Gloria Loring (Liz) sang in the '80s. I even liked when Bill Hayes (Doug) sang "Most Beautiful Girl in the World" to or about Susan Seaforth (Julie), though much of his other stuff (especially the shtick with Robert Clary) left me cold.

There is nothing that says delicious soapy goodness to me like Bill, Patty or Liz singing a song while the camera lingers on one or more people in the nightclub audience for whom the song has deep meaning.

That said, I agree that most everything else mentioned on this thread has been awful.

[QueenOfHearts]

Even on those music themed novelas the singing is awful!

[y&r_fan]

Wasn't the Danny/Traci stuff quite popular back in the day? What did they have that Y&R's more recent musical acts didn't? I'm genuinely curious - I wasn't watching (or even alive) at the time.

[DRW50]

I would say they had heart. Bill Bell had a lot of heart in his show - Y&R, and pop culture in general, is a little too artificial and empty for that now.

[SFK]

You know I ADORE her too, but this is my all-time favorite Looch-related thread title: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005166/board/nest/90711981

Some years ago, Erica was cuddling Riegel's Bianca who (as per usual) was traumatized for some reason or another. As she stroked her daughter's hair, she began to sing a lullabye in a too high soprano. My mother, sitting at the edge of the bed folding laundry, rolled her eyes and groaned, "Ohhhh Gahhhhhhhhd..."

[juppiter]

Karen singing in the Knots Landing Christmas episode in season 13. It was sooo awk.

[Antoyne]

Blair Cramer and Starr Manning own this thread.

Oh and Julie on Days...I'm not sure who told SSH she had a pleasant singing voice or that she wasn't tone deaf, but they lied to her and should be slapped.

[DRW50]

I think even she said she was not a singer and she was surprised that the show got the idea Julie and Doug sang together.

[ellabelle]

I think that was after Erica found out Bianca had been raped. She finally got her calmed down and then for some reason decided to traumatize her further by singing to her.