Hmm. This is a very difficult thing. I get why you don't want to tell him, though. Honestly, I would make him say it. Idk how you could push him to do that though.

It's hard to keep holding it in from him. I just don't want to freak him out to the point of ruining a 9 year friendship.

Does he still live in NZ? Consider the practicality of a potential relationship given the physical distance. Have you all ever talked on the phone or video messaged one another? Online chemistry can be very different from real life chemistry. It's worth a shot letting him know how you feel. It'll certainly hurt if he doesn't return the sentiment, but with time, you'll get over it. But I think him actually feeling the same as you but you two not being able to be together trying to sustain an across the globe relationship will be incredibly frustrating and will ultimately hurt more than his rejection.

Edited July 6, 201411 yr by SFK

For the first time ever, I am experiencing a very playful, intense sexual chemistry with someone, and I am enjoying it thoroughly. Pretty much, he's everything I'm not, as he drinks, smokes, cusses and does drag occasionally. I never thought I'd be attracted to that type, but nonetheless, I am.

You don't drink?!

I've tasted drinks a couple of times, but it just reminded me of cough syrup and made me sleepy, so it doesn't really appeal to me.

For the first time ever, I am experiencing a very playful, intense sexual chemistry with someone, and I am enjoying it thoroughly. Pretty much, he's everything I'm not, as he drinks, smokes, cusses and does drag occasionally. I never thought I'd be attracted to that type, but nonetheless, I am.

Not into that type of guy either..lol

You don't drink?!

I use to think that was bad but not anymore. A friend told me those that drink need it so they can have fun if not they are dull and boring..lol...ever since then I've felt good about not being a drinker.

I drink and I'm paying for it today as a matter of fact...

Not to change the subject lol

In May I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis, It's a bladder condition that causes pain and other problems

Have to be on a special diet to avoid flare ups

Oh no! Sorry to hear that. What foods must you avoid, and are there other foods that are beneficial? Are you taking medication?

UGH...I need to vent!!

So Jason the guy I've been friends for years now it seems finally told me he loved me but as a friend....grrrrrrrr

I actually should be shocked..cause he never used that word with me...we were just friends...a guy he could count on...I've been there for him everytime he has had a problem. He hit rock bottom a few weeks ago and I was there for him. Hell I think I am closer to him than his bf.

Then tonight i get a text message from Dan a guy i have known for over 2 years..asking me how I am...and he starts with a hey man...ummm....we flirt back and forth and he says he man...ugh....we talk constantly and text...but recently I decided not to talk to him a lot or text him....its only been a week and a day....he has a bf..but he is much older than him....Dan is 37...and his bf is 64 or so I believe..he confided in me of losing him and being alone....and how he likes doing things his bf doesnt like to do anymore since he has lost his looks....I kept thinking..well why did u hook up with him in the first place..he was young when he met him and his only real bf so he just went for it. He knows how i feel about him but says we can only be friends...ugh...so I try to distance myself and it never works..last time i tried it I was pulled back to him....

Lately Ive been seeing..well hanging out with a guy named Ben...he was telling me this morning what a good time he had with me yesterday and I just found out he was with this girl today at the beach..he took a pic and posted it on his facebook...ugh.......

And then I met a guy named Greg...who said you are guying Ive always wanted to be with...ha...Ive heard that before....we spent a day and a half together but havent heard from him since...but he told me not to forget that he loves me..ummm...ok.....lol...

My love life is the pits

So I text Dan a few minutes ago and he replied faster than the roadrunner.....he told me that he was having surgery....i guess thats why he wanted to talk to me..he must be nervous about it...I had the same surgery in my youth.

I had the same surgery in my youth.

You mean they're going to remove the mattress embedded in his back?

I wish your friend a speedy recovery!

Edited July 22, 201411 yr by SFK

You mean they're going to remove the mattress embedded in his back?

I wish your friend a speedy recovery!

Haha..thanks..he is getting his tonsils taken out.

Oh no! Sorry to hear that. What foods must you avoid, and are there other foods that are beneficial? Are you taking medication?

Thanks

The doctor gave me along list of kind of things to avoid like chocolate, soy, acidic foods, etc

I basically can only drink water,which I already did anyways.

I'm on a medicine called amitriptyline, it's actually an anti depressant, but it's been known to help people with my condition, and it has helped to a point