Khan

I know, I know, lol. I should just be like Ron Carlivati and write silly stuff about gay men hitting on cute, straight guys while engaging in KNOTS LANDING cosplay. That's what happens when you have HW's and EP's who can't think past the noses on their faces.

At the VERY least, they could have said Ashland was sterile -- perhaps, as a result of being in that car accident with the real Ashland Locke -- and that it would be impossible for him ever to have children. And his every decision in life would be haunted by that cruel twist of fate, too; wanting to build a media empire that will outlast him, because he's forever anguished over the fact that he'll never have a son or daughter to carry on the Locke family name.

Or, Abby dies, Chance has a nervous breakdown and Devon assumes custody.

That's not good enough. I would need the show's assurance that Abby would never return again, ever. She will NEVER be relevant to this show or to the families she's supposedly a part of.

Y&R is all but admitting that Melissa Ordway's a dud and that Abby is uncastable. Maybe it's just me, but I think Y&R really shot themselves in the foot by not giving Ashland grown children from previous marriages/relationships.

Why is Drew even back in Port Charles? I mean, you could have Iyanla "Fix My Life" VanZant come in and do exactly what he's doing now and nothing would be different.

In which galaxy do Clyde and Nancy make sense? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if you told me he once tried to hump Tom Horton.

"Julie has a warning for TR." Oh, that's gonna play REAL well with the woke crowd!

I just hope Maggie doesn't have to potty train Sarah again.

Chills is a symptom of COVID, right?

I thought it was so, so wrong back then; and I think it was so, so wrong now. Agree. But it didn't ruin just Christine. I think it ruined Paul as well. In fact, I think the rape made it much easier for the show to marginalize him to the point where he's never seen or even mentioned today, which is a shameful thing to do to a character that was so front-burner BITD.

Frankly, I don't think it matters either way, lol.

IIRC, didn't the real Belle walk in on Shawn in bed with the fake Belle, who turned back into Jan moments later? If she did, then there was nothing that Shawn needed to confess to. He and Belle should have sensed immediately that something far more sinister was going on and that he wasn't entirely responsible for what had happened between him and "Belle." Ugh. I hate idiot plots, lol. Here's something that could salvage this whole mess: believing that he and Sami are finished, and guided by his newfound feelings for Belle, E.J. elects to romance Jan, who has been released from the mental institution, in order to keep her from wrecking Shawn and Belle's lives any further. As time goes on, E.J. develops genuine feelings toward Jan. However, E.J. and Jan's relationship is in jeopardy when Sami suddenly returns with the goal of reclaiming her husband.

A potential Sonny/Chad hookup would be like oxycontin: it's not necessarily good for you, but it sure-as-hell numbs the pain.

Agree. He aged them and forced them onto the front burner much too quickly, and he gave them (well, most of them) absolutely no depth whatsoever, too. Well, it'd be a lot easier to swallow than Brady resenting Marlena for no damn reason. (Seriously, Brady, you weren't even teething yet when your bio mom kicked the bucket. Doc's the only mom you've ever really known. So, what the [!@#$%^&*] is YOUR problem?) Knowing that Shawn was under the (false) impression that he was having sex with his own wife just makes it hard for me to understand where Belle is coming from atm. Pure, and simple.

Bingo.

I forgot to add that longer scenes would mean less scenes per episode, too.

Exactly. John and Marlena should have been over-indulgent with Belle out of guilt. Or, going in another direction, Belle COULD and SHOULD have been the Perfect Daughter, overachieving and overcompensating for the circumstances behind her conception, until she just couldn't take the pressure anymore and began "acting out," preferably when she was in college on her own for the first time. But it just seemed like DAYS have given us nothing where Belle's psychology is concerned.

Suddenly, Pamela "Is the Camera Still On, Tommy?" Anderson making her B'way debut as Roxie Hart in "Chicago" doesn't seem so ludicrous anymore.

I'm spending mine on a bodyguard for Jodie Foster. Anybody wanna chip in?

I...I just.... Jesus, take the wheel.

Sadly, I think Sonny would end up with Leo before ending up with Chad.

Frankly, I think it's tough, if not impossible, to save a show that's written 80 years ahead, BUT... I'd eliminate all public spaces that require extras that the show obviously can't afford anymore (Brady's Pub, HTS, UH, Julie's Place, etc.) and mandate that all scenes instead take place in private spaces (living rooms, kitchens, bedrooms, etc.) or settings that would require only 2-3 characters. I'd trim the size of the cast to 15-18 actors, tops. All off-contract and recurring actors would be written out; if you ain't got a contract, you ain't on the show. Moreover, I'd trim the average number of actors featured per episode, and I'd expand the average length of scenes as well to make up for the fact that you no longer have the larger cast to fill episodes. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, to quote Pamela K. Long, I'd "get real." What does that mean? Well, for one, it means no more demonic possessions. Those are real, but they're also hard to believe on a daytime soap opera that isn't DARK SHADOWS: THE NEXT GENERATION. No more supervillains. No more brainwashings, or characters believing they're dead-and-forgotten characters one week and literal toddlers the next. No more microchips, no more facial masks, no more serums. No more outrageous, OTT stories that depend on an actual budget in order for them to be even partially effective. Just get back to doing what this show (and this genre) used to do best: smaller, intimate, yet all-too-revealing examinations of the human condition and its' many quirks, with the underlying theme of family and love being the only things one can count on in this crazy, cuckoo, laugh-in kind of world.

And I think the fact that Belle thinks her conception ruined her mother's life should have influenced her own life more negatively than it has. No, really. Belle should have been a screw-up all along, making all the kinds of stupid, harmful, self-destructive mistakes you could think of and more; proving Sami was right about her and being just a general, hot, needy mess from day one. Instead, she's just so dull that even now, with her marriage imploding, she's putting everyone to sleep.

Not so fast. I predict that, by the end of the week, the media will dig up some heinous [!@#$%^&*] on him.