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Patrick: Why are you so awful?

Robin: Why do you suck so much? Let's argue on a blog! Wait, we already did that.

Patrick: Let's just argue in front of everyone at the nurses desk.

Robin: OK.

Patrick: Hey, did you hear that Zooey is dating Matt! They're getting married, it's great!

Robin: Who?

Patrick: Zooey Ward.

Epiphany: Is she black? I'm the only black woman on this show.

Patrick: What about Lainey?

Robin: Who?

Epiphany: Exactly.

(six months later)

Patrick: Lisa, I love NASCAR, don't you?

Lisa: I love jello shots. And talking about our hot times in college. And did you know your wife has HIV? How did that happen? That's so weird and crazy and inappropriate...like our wacky times in college!

Patrick: Yeah. Don't talk about that right now. Matt and Zooey got married but now they're already divorced. Isn't that awful?

Lisa: Who?

Patrick: Zooey Ward. Matt's wife, ex-wife, whatever.

Robin: Who?

Patrick: Zooey is...

Robin: No. Who's Matt?

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