Up to March 18th, 1993
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"Cheeseburger and some French fries, please!"
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Mamma mia, here I go again! My, my, how can I resist you?
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Jason has turned to the dark side, y'all. The Emperor of Llanview (Dorian Lord) has successfully lured him into staying in town. Those sessions on her knees in the woods did the trick. They always do! Now, Jason has almost fully embraced his role as Dorian's pet/gigolo. And what better way to make it public... than to head straight to the heart of Llanview society - The Buchanan Palace, where he got served by none other than his ex-fiancee - Leanne Demerest. Oh man, how I LOOOOVED witnessing the karma twisting Leanne's facial expressions. She used and USED Jason to the point of no return... - it's so satisfying to see her squirm a bit. I particularly enjoyed the moment when Jason ordered more food - a burger and some fries. It felt so brutal and real. One day you're risking your life for someone, doing the unthinkable for them... and the next day - you're just ordering a snack as if you don't even know them. Deep down, we all know he still loves her, but that’s not what matters to me. What does matter is how suddenly and drastically personal relationships can shift. It reminded me of an ex-boyfriend I had in my early 20s. We had such a passionate, close relationship, we became like one entity at one point... and after the breakup... I remember him walking by on the sidewalk, him with his friends... me with mine... and we didn’t even acknowledge each other after a brief glance. It felt like two strangers had crossed paths with their eyes meeting for a second and that was it. “Life's a pitch, as the old woman said. She couldn't pronounce her "b"s.”
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The Society Slut is back. Sort of. She's still in Paris, gaslighting her children - Jessie and Joey... convincing them that life will be better with their parents divorced. This lady has some serious gall! When Joey innocently asked - Is Sloan Carpenter going to be our dad now, are you planning to marry him? Buchanina squirmed and denied any plans of a marriage with the general. But just when she was deceiving her kids... and fooling herself... she spotted a familiar silhouette - the back of a man who looked like Sloan. And when he turned around, revealing to be some French guy... she realized she couldn't run from it. She has to be with him or she'll be destined to find signs of him in everyone around her. Sort of like an emotional plague. Sweetheart - we all knew you chose him, the moment you let him ejaculate inside while your husband was waiting on the other side of the door. Spare us the theatrics and go chase your general... and then mess up his life by cheating on him too. Meanwhile, back in the USA, Lindsay and Clint were getting closer. But this time, Kevin noticed and tried to step in. What a cock-block. Just when your dad is starting to loosen up, you have to grill him about Viki! The snake Lindsay sensed she was being blocked... and excused herself from the table, before more damage could be done. Things are heating up!
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Little C.J. was running around Llanview telling everyone his name is Cain Junior. Ah! For a second, I thought they were going to pull a Hansel and Gretel on us... when he encountered this weird, creepy grandma who wanted to take him and make him a beggar in New York. Ever since I was a kid... one of my biggest childhood fears was being kidnapped by an older woman... just like the one on the show... so watching this was super creepy for me. Hahaha. Thank goodness Tina and Cord found him. But by then, it was too late. Cain had already made his mark, and there was no turning back for Tina and Cord. Their relationship seemed finished, and Tina ran towards Cain... ready to give herself to the new guy in her life - a con artist and a thief. She chose the dark side too. If there’s a custody battle... I’m definitely on Cord's side.
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And now for the final part of this review... I'm going to discuss Marty and her pursuit of Andrew. She not only kissed him, but she also made him promise to keep it a secret. THAT'S A BIG NO-NO, Reverend. Just as she was leaving their house (after Andrew asked her), Cassie was HOME. She immediately sensed that something was off in the house. Thankfully, she didn't find a used condom, but she did notice something strange. She spoke with Andrew, who lied and insisted that nothing had happened between them. THAT WAS EXACTLY what MARTY wanted. Because just when Cassie went to double-check the story... Marty revealed the kiss and not just that - she mentioned they had a "pact" not to tell her. And OH MY GOD, do you know how that masochist Cassie reacted - she acted like Katerina Ivanovna from The Brothers Karamazov - so proud and so unfazed... she felt pity once again for the girl who kissed her husband. And then she invited her back. I really hope she (Marty) sleeps with him now. Because Cassie has nobody else to blame than herself.
"Fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me,"
Overall - 10/10 - We are back to top form, baby!
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