We always notice little snippets and turns of phrases the writers use to spice up the dialogue. Sometimes they can have dramatic relevence, sometimes they can reveal something about the characters, or sometimes they can just be pretty damn funny.

What are the best quips, quibbles, and one-liners you have evern heard on your soap?

"I'm Erica Kane. Everything I do is breaking news."

Sit. Your Ass. DOWN.

Great delivery by ED.

From AMC, this little speech of Adam's is one of my favorites:

ADAM: Well, to all the petal pluckers and star wishers made in Jake Martin's image, I say go to hell! But for the fire breathers and the risk takers and the passion players, I say step right up and take a chance. What have you got to lose?

LIZA: Who are you?

ADAM: Don't you know? I'm you.

"Take A LOOK YOU BITCH! That's no Halo. And you're not Heroine. You have done the vilest, filthiest thing sleeping with you're daughter's husband."

Truer words were never spoken to that hoe. Brooke is so pitiful.

Flannery sent chills up my spine with this dialogue.

Edited December 20, 200816 yr by Queen

Whenever I'm swimming in a lake, I always remember that first, big blonde Daisy May Clampett of a Dixie Martin drawling out "Ah always keep mah eyes open in case thar's snakes" upon discovering Silver Kane's corpse at the bottom of the Cortland Manor pond.

Erica Kane: I want to be special, and I'm going to be.

The way she says the "I'm going to be" is just hilarious. As if it was common knowledge that yes, she would indeed be special.

Carly: You made a baby, any bitch in heat can do that.

Todd Manning (after Tea suggests that Starr would probably like Disney World): Can you really see ME in the happiest place on Earth? I'd rather dig out my small intestine with a cocktail fork.

Todd Manning (on finding out that Blair would be at the charity auction): Well that seals it. Wild horses on crack couldn't drag me there.

Paul Ryan (on James using nursery rhymes to give up the location of Rose and Lily): The guy's human napalm as a father, but he's letter perfect on the Mother Goose, go figure.

Rosanna Cabot (when the minister hesitates during her and Craig's wedding): Oh for God's sake. I now pronounce us Rosanna and Craig.

And my new recent favorite...

Emily Stewart to Meg Snyder - on how Paul is just no fun anymore and won't help her scheme: Thanks to you? He's useless to me. (Word, Emily. Word.)

Edited December 20, 200816 yr by kelly1142

From Y&R

John Abbott: Mamie I need a few moments alone with my......Mrs...

Mamie Johnson: You mean The Bitch don't you?

John Abbott: Thank you Mamie I'll handle this for now.

Katherine Chancellor: Dear God In Heaven [insert rest of plea to the Lord]

From B&B

Stephanie Forrester: TAKE A LOOK YOU BITCH! That's No Halo! And You're No Heroine!

The way Flannery delivered that line was just spine tingling.

These two are from the very short lived prime time soap 'Paper Dolls' featuring Morgan Fairchild

Racine: Those famous Harper family dinners. Forks on the left, knives in the back.

Julia Blake: [holding a Barbie-type doll] Racine, this will not be the new Taryn Blake doll. It's eyes are brown!

Racine: I guess they couldn't get that bloodshot color just right.

From 'Dynasty'

Alexis: [to Krystle] I just can't wait for the day when I see you walking out of this house carrying the same two cheap plastic suitcases that you walked in here with.

Alexis: Nobody takes me to bed and to the cleaners in one night.

Alexis: I know what's wrong with you... The empty armed Madonna, mourning the baby that she couldn't have and the baby that she almost got to adopt... Gone now... That is it, isn't it?

Krystle: You miserable bitch!

[Pushes Alexis into a nearby pond and they both fall in]

Dex: You have managed to say no every time we've met. You said no to Tar Sands. You said no to dinner.

Alexis: Well, you seem to thrive on rejection.

One Life to Live:

Dorian: I am not going to stay where I'm not wanted.

Clint: Be prepared to wander the earth, Dorian.

From Y&R:

Michael (to Victoria, about Jack): "We's kin now"

Diane: "Jack has offered me a position at Jabot"

Phyllis: "On your back in the mens' room?"

Jill: "I want to talk to you about our son"

John: "Billy?"

Jill: "No, Val Kilmer"

Victor (to David): "If I want you dead, you will be dead!"

Colleen: "Chloe Mitchell - a bitch, a loser and now a mom. I feel sorry for that baby"

Victor (after Nick launches into a tirade, threatening to sue him): "Pull yourself together son, you're not suing anyone"

From B&B:

Macy (to Brooke): "You're nothing but a walking, talking piece of pornography"

Stephanie (to Brooke): "You're about as welcome here as a whore at a monk's convention"

Eric (to Stephanie): "I see you've had your daily breakfast of staples and nails"

Stephanie (to Katie): "Another Logan sister? Oh my God. Sorry, I'm fresh out of sons"

Jackie (to Stephanie, about Thorne): "You remember that other little boy who lived here when Ridge was growing up?"

Y&R Halloween episode. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZrSP7m5IMU

Colleen (Bumps into Amber at the Bar): Excuse Me

Amber: Excuse you

Colleen: It must suck that Daniel might come to his senses and dump you at any second. I mean he already knows you cheated on him right. Does he know you're a psycho?

Amber: If I were a psycho I would toss this drink right in your face. (Dumps it down Colleen's cleavage)

Colleen: You are a lunatic. You know

Amber: At least it wasn't your face, right baby?

Edited December 21, 200816 yr by BadZoe

AMC's David, to Amanda: "Darlin', I invented twisted."

Barbara Ryan to Jade (ATWT): I WILL SNAP YOU LIKE A TWIG

almost any of Stephanie and Brooke's jabs

Oooh, everybody's posted such good ones, I had to dig deep to find some of my favorites as well, from assorted daytime and nighttime shows.

Erica Kane: This is Adam, my ex-husband.

Adam Chandler: One of many. I'm third from the end...at least I think so...I haven't seen Erica for a couple of days.

Alexis Carrington (talking about Sammy Jo, who she barely knows at this point): That...little niece of Krystle's...I'd say she was a tramp, wouldn't you?"

Abby Cunningham (to Val about Gary): I'm not saying that we're having an affair. And I'm not saying we're not. I am saying I can have him any time I want him.

(Val promptly squeals out an "Oh!")

Syd Andrews (about Michael): I'd rather drink bleach than touch that man's briefs!

Tyra Collette (to Lyla, who she sees on the side of the road with her broken car): Hey, you cheating, cheerleading bitch! Want a ride!?