The Cocktail Lounge

[JackPeyton]

last night was a memorial party for my friend taylor who died. it was a very emotional night and even more emotional when adding in all the shots and beer everyone was drinking. i woke up at like 7am in my bed and had no memory of leaving this party. thankfully i was able to piece together my night via phones calls and text messeges and photos, lol. apperently i called my mom to come get me before midnight! on the upside i remember everything up to the point of calling her so its really just the ride home. im not a fan of getting that drunk or drinking when emotional though so im like ughhh about the whole thing but no harm was done and fun was had by all and it did help us to say goodbye. his parents printed out all the comments we left on his facebook wall and plastered them all over the walls and stuff, it was so sweet.

[All My Shadows]

So. Quick update.

Scott and Jenn have fully reconciled. Fine. I never hated Jenn, and it sucked trying to be stuck between the two of them because I care about them both. They've reconciled, they've swept it all under the rug. NOT A GOOD THING AT ALL in the long run, but FINE. Whatever. Scott and Jenn reconciling means that Scott has also reconciled, somewhat, with Andrew. I have a sneaking suspicion that Andrew might be trying to make a play for Scott, but I'm not sure yet. Of course, it's cray for me to even have a problem with Andrew going after Scott when I have no claim whatsoever on Scott and shouldn't be pissed because someone else has the guts to do what I should be doing -- going after this f!cking boy.

The last few weeks have been very nice. More and more meaningful conversations, and more of those playful moments where I'm thinking that maybe he's trying to send signs my way. A few of us are getting together for a Christmas party tomorrow night. Scott, Jennifer, possibly Lindsay, possibly Andrew. This will be the first time Scott and I have been under the influence of alcohol in the same room since the spring, so...lord knows what's going to happen. I can already see myself making a complete and total fool of myself, but we shall see.

[alphanguy74]

Bitch, do you need a piano to fall on your head? If you think he's trying to send signs, he probably is. Your'e effing worse than Bill Bell!

[All My Shadows]

UGH!!!

I feel extremely foolish for not saying anything or making a move. I mean, it's been nearly a YEAR since I've really developed feelings for him. And I've done NOTHING. But you have to understand. In the past, whenever I'd make an effort to go after someone I wanted, the same damn thing would happen. Someone else would swoop in and take the person I was interested in, and I'd end up humiliated. I don't think I can take it once more.

[alphanguy74]

That's when you plot to sabatoge the relationship, dear. And then be there to pick up the pieces.

[Khan]

Yeah, sure, you could sabotage the relationship -- and who knows, maybe you'll get the guy in the end. But you'll never have a moment's peace, because you will wonder whether he's with you because he truly loves and wants to be with you, or because you were just clever enough to snare him. (God forbid he discovers, too, how sneaky you were to get him at all.) Mark my words, too: the same means you undertake to get him will be the same means someone else uses to take him away from you.

I say, just be forthright with this Scott: if you're attracted to him, and if you think he might have similar feelings for you, then put all the proverbial cards on the table and tell him so. If he is interested in you, he'll respond the way you want him to. If he doesn't, then consider that no great loss to you and know you are much too precious to waste anymore time pining for someone who doesn't care for you. (And if he gives you that "I feel too awkward now to keep being friends with you" b.s., then you know you were better off w/o him. A real man is mature and gracious enough to understand your feelings and not let them affect the friendship.)

Yes, there is the risk of rejection and subsequent humiliation, but you know what? No one ever died from being embarrassed.

Take it from one who's been there.

[Y&RWorldTurner]

[Khan]

Huh?

[Y&RWorldTurner]

The general discussion here is making me think of the basic premise of Hello, Dolly!

Everyone's been stuck in a similar predicament apparently - though like Dolly, who was a matchmaker, and used to offering up relationship advice to others, we're all irrational when it comes to matters of our own heart. Just goes to show in these situations, thinking with your head (and not your heart) is often the biggest obstacle.

[SFK]

Reading this thread, I love how I can "hear" every poster sitting in this position :

[Khan]

Believe me, I know too well the dangers of letting your heart, rather than your head, lead you. But I also know that "experience is the teacher," so to speak, and that's what I offer to someone such as AMS.

[Soapsuds]

Eh...Ive had those kind of conversations only to find out the guy was a dirtbag. Meaningful conversations can be deceiving even if it seems its going great.

True...how about you dishing some advice to AMS??

[dm.]

Oh wow. SON could survive solely on this thread. I have some catching up to do. :'D

[dm.]

Definitely. ITA.

[Soapsuds]

Yes it is a good read.

Update:

The guy that treated me like trash because he doesnt have gay friends is back in town. I hope I dont run into him. On a brighter note still chummy with a guy from work...hope it leads somewhere...