30 Rock: Discussion Thread

[Toups]

Episode 3.1: Do Over

Liz: How did you get out of your government job?

Jack: I’m not at liberty to discuss that. That information is classified…at least until Cheney dies, which is going to be a long time from now. That man is mostly metal.

Liz: I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider them erotica.

Devon: The only thing that Kathy and I need assistance with is deciding which John Mayer song to do it to.

Devon: If there’s one thing I learned from you, Jack, is keep your friends close and your enemies so close……that you’re almost kissing.

Jenna: Great news guys, I just got a residual check from that Japanese commercial I did. (Cut to: Jenna drinking from a soda can and then getting slapped in the face) I still don’t know how that advertised Tokyo University.

Bev: How often do you entertain gentleman sex guests?

Liz: Oh boy….once a year maybe…but I’d be open to cutting that down.

Bev: Have you ever been convicted of a crime?

Liz: I was arrested once in Germany for public nudity. I thought it was a topless beach – it was a ship yard.

Liz: Can I have this box of penis pasta from your dressing room?

Jack: She touched me in my swim-suit area.

Liz: Is it so wrong that I just want to have one of these to grow up to resent me.

Tracey: To the Batmobile!

Grizz: Don’t worry. He’s just leasing it.

Jack: Banks? What are you doing here? Where are your shoes?

Devon: Ah, dammit.

(We see two obviously gay guys walk out)

Devon: I…..must’ve left them at my business meeting.

Devon: It’s just “G” now, Jack. I sold the “E” to Samsung – they’re Samesung now.

Kenneth: I think adoption is a wonderful thing. Three of my nine siblings were adopted. And someday, I’m going to find them.

Liz: Hey Rick.

Fred: I’m Fred. Rick is the other black guy.

Liz: Happens to everyone, right Bev.

Ben: Yeah. Happens all the time to my black husband.

Jenna: Well, I first met Liz in 1993. She was fresh out of college and I had just broken up with O.J.Simpson and can I just say something…..total gentleman.

Cerie: Liz is a really mature person and she totally deserves to get custody of her kids.

Bev: It’s not a custody case. Liz is trying to adopt a child.

Cerie: Then who were those kids that you were yelling at the other day.

Liz: Those were some child actors who had lied about being able to breakdance.

Tracey: Attention everyone! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone involved in making my video game the most profitable thing since the war on terror.

Tracey: Now you look out for my girl, Liz Lemon. Cause me and her go way back like spinal cords and car seats.

Kenneth: Mr. Banks, look at how many push ups I can do. (Devon starts looking at him sexually)

Kathy hugging Jack while a Marky Mark song is playing.

Liz: You smell like strawberries.

Jack: That’s the lip gloss she put on me so I can be her fancy boy. This is the way my life was suppose to play out. The kid who walked four miles every Saturday to caddy because my mother said that golf was a game for businessmen. Paid his way through Princeton by working the day shift at that graveyard and the graveyard shit at that Days Inn. 22 years of single mindedly finding my way to the top of this company. Thank God, I don’t have your biological need for children – that would make success impossible.

Liz: Thanks.

Jack: This job is all I ever wanted, Lemon. And now it hinges on how far I’m willing to go with a woman in Dora the Explora panties that were clearly made for an obese child.

Liz: Are you sure she wants sex? Maybe she’s just looking for attention. Her whole world is stuff unicorns and soap operas.

Jack: Aren’t soap operas all about sex?

Liz: No, no way. The best part in soap operas is when someone’s twin interrupts a wedding or somebody pulls a gun at a fitness center.

Jack: We might not be the best people but --

Liz: We’re definitely not the worst.

Liz and Jack: Graduate students are the worst.

Jack: Liz, what are you doing here? (Jack notices a Days of Our Lives scene playing on the tv). I thought you were at the fitness center with your twin.

Liz: What?

Jack: (nods over to the tv) Liz, this is not what you think. Kathy and I are just working together. Kathy, you know my lover, Liz.

Liz: That better be true, Jack. Or I’ll make both of you disappear just like I did with Vivianne and Patch.

Jack: Don’t be ridiculous, Liz. You know you’re the only woman I ever really loved. Kathy’s my partner. She’s hired me to advise her in all her business matter. Isn’t that true Kathy?

Liz: I’m sorry, darling. I’ve just been paranoid ever since that incident with the weather machine.

Devon: Got any mail for me, Donaghy?

Jack: It’s all over, Banks. Kathy has hired me privately to advise her in all business matters.

Devon: My God, that’s her signature. (there’s a bunch of little cartoon drawings)

Jack: Yeah.

Devon: Well, I’m not stupid, Jack. I saw this day coming. But I’ve already my provisions on my financial future. Check this out. (He jumps in front of a limo) I’m gonna sue you. I’m gonna sue the entire city of New York.

(Tracey gets out of the limo)

Devon: I’m gonna sue you!

Tracey: You can’t sue me. I’m already being sued. Double indemnity!!!

[Toups]

Epsiode 3.2: Believe in the Stars

Liz: I’ll fly back in the morning. I never get put in a jury. I wear my Princess Leia costume and then they dismiss me immediately.

Liz: Comanaprocil? May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares and sleep crime.

Tracey: Do you know who I am? Seriously, please tell me who I am.

Tracey: I watched Boston Legal four times before realizing it wasn’t the new Star Trek.

Liz: No one has it harder today than women. It turns out we can’t be President, we can’t be network news anchors, Madonna’s arms look crazy.

Tyler: I think I’ll hold a press conference instead. Tell the world there’s no such thing as Olympic tetherball or synchronized running, or octuples tennis……it’s all a lie.

Jack: Tyler, you can be the voice of Knight Rider, the film.

Tyler: I’m listening.

Jeffrey: Okay. I’m Jeffrey and I’m a mediator and you two are having a dispute. Now why is that?

Jenna: Because Tracey thinks he can treat me unfairly because I’m women.

Tracey: What? Please? We are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to do to black folks. It’s like when Adrian Brody kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars. White people stole jazz, rock n roll, Will Smith and heart disease. Now they can think they can take my hard earned money.

Jeffrey: Okay. If we take at how voice actors are normally compensated –

Liz: Liz says, in American it’s hard to be a women than a black man.

Tracey: Liz Lemon? That chick is dumb.

Jeffrey: Okay.

Jenna: Tracey! Do you know women still get paid less than men for doing the same job?!!

Tracey: Do you know it’s still illegal to be black in Arizona?!

Jeffrey: Do you have any idea how hard it is to be an overweight transgender in this country?

Toofer: You realized this is incredibly offensive. And do you realize black face makeup reignites racial stereotypes African Americans have worked for hundreds of years to overcome.

Liz: Yeah. It’s bad. I get it. Go get some baby wipes.

Oprah: Too many women are wearing themselves too thin these days. And what suffers because of that?

Liz: Your bowel movements.

Oprah: Your personal life.

Oprah: Do you mind if I close the window shade?

Liz: I’m trying to adopt a baby. But my job is making it impossible because my work self is suffocating my life me. I’m Liz Lemon and I lost my virginity at 25. I saw the show about following fear and it inspired me to wear shorts to work. It didn’t go great. Do you know Tracy Jordan? I took a pill earlier. I didn’t get September issue of O Magazine. Do you have the number for subscriptions? [laughs] Why would you!? I eat emotionally and one time at summer camp I kissed a girl on a dare but then she drowned. And here comes some more stuff. I hate my feet and once I had a sex dream about Nate Burkis but halfway though he turned into Dr. Oz. Has that ever happened to you? Oh a hug! This is happening!

Tracey: If it weren’t for you people, I’d still be in Africa – gorgeous, politically stable Africa.

Jenna: My people? Women are the oppressed ones. And it’s even harder being a beautiful woman. Everyone assumes I don’t try in bed. It’s discrimination.

Liz in the Princess Leia costume in court with an accent: I don’t really think it’s fair to be in a jury because I can read thoughts.

Judge: Dismissed.

Liz: Why are you wearing a monster claw?

Tracey: They ran out of white makeup because I insisted they do my buttocks.

Tracey: I haven’t seen Oprah since she did that episode about the worst celebrity dads.

Jack: It’s okay. It happens to the best of us. In-flight medication is how I met M. Night Shyamalan until it turned out to be …..

Jonathan: That was the best day of my life.

Jack: Be a white man. Take credit.

[Steve]

I absolutely love this show! The Oprah/Pam twist was brilliant and the fact that she did resolve the dispute between Tracey & Jenna was hilarious.

[KevC1980]

Hilarious episode of 30 Rock..what a wonderful way to incoporate Oprah in the show..And i'm glad it tuned out to be Liz's imagination..I was wondering why Oprah would sit next to Liz on a plane...Jenna and Tracy were incredible...Loved them dressing up as each other..And the ratings were great this week..Lets hope Jenifer Aniston can keep them high..I'm ready for 30 Rock to be a bonifide ratings success....NBC really needs it and i would love them to be rewarded for having faith in this critically acclaimed show..

[Toups]

Episode 3.3: The One With the Cast of ‘Night Court’ (nice Friends reference)

Liz: She’s like a human macarena – something everyone did at parties in 1996.

Jack: Mee-ow.

Liz: You’re right, that was harsh.

Jack: No. Mi Yao(?). *points* She owns the largest alternative company in Asia.

Tracey: What's wrong, Ken? You got wife eyes.

Claire’s nickname is “Crazyputty” or was it “Crazy buddy”…..I guess it’s really “Crazy pussy” since Jack misread it? LMAO!!

Tracey: Is there nothing scared? Have we lost our moral center? Just makes me want to pee on someone.

Claire: I’m Jack’s life coach - Esmerelda FitzMonster.

Jack: I like chokers.

Liz’s description of going out to that club “Chili’s”

Cerie's descript of club "Aquarium"

Jenna as the werewolf laywer: I can prove that my client is innocent. Only if it weren’t a full moooooon.

Jenna: That idiot werewolf paid for my hand reduction surgery, okay.

Tracey: I want a different answer! Where's Jack Donaghy?

Tracey: I added that. I went upstairs and I told them if you don’t bring back the old uniforms, I refuse to play the role of Mac in Universal’s upcoming Night Court movie.

Charles Robinson: What’s that now?

Kenneth’s freeze frame air first pump and smile. And then Tracey asking him: Are you okay? LMAO!!!!! I couldn’t stop laughing at that.

Jack: Claire used to punch me in the face.

I loved the Night Court reunion! Only if John Larroquette and Richard Moll could’ve made it.

I thought they filmed a “Friends fountain” scene with Tina, Jennifer and Jane where they parody Monica, Rachel and Phoebe.

[KevC1980]

Last nights episode was the best of the season so far..I absolutely loved Liz's line "I want to go there"...she used it twice and the delivery was perfect..Also it was funny that Liz was actually a bully in high school without even knowing it...

popular girl- "How's the telescope?

Liz's response "--"How's your mother's pill addiction?"

and Liz and the gay guy was hilarious..

Also the Tracy, Kenneth, and Jenna storyline was great..Loved when Jenna broke out in song because she was being upstaged by Kenneth..

[Toups]

Last night's ep was hilarious! I guess this was the ep that was suppose to have the Gossip Girls on.

Funny lines/moments from the last two episdoes.

Episode 3.4: "Gavin Volure"

Liz: How can I loosen up? I’m in Connecticut, I haven’t eaten, and I’m stressed about an away toilet situation.

Gavin: I am forced to bring world to me and host dinners for interesting people from all walks of life. The world of fashion, society, art collecting and yelling.

John McEnroe: Why isn’t there any good art in here? Come on!

Tracey named one of his kids George Foreman.

Pete: Guys listen up. I just got a memo saying that every floor in the building has to designate a floor emergency marshal, for fires, terrorist attacks, Cloverfield monsters.

Tracey’s watching TV:

TV: Authorities say that the Menendez brothers acted out of pure greed. The only thing standing between them and tremendous wealth was……… *there’s a pause*

Tracey: What? Say it!

TV: …….. their father, Jose Menendez.

Tracey: My kids are going to kill me!!!!

Tracey flips down a picture frame of his kids (who are smiling) only to reveal another picture frame of his kids (only this time they have angry faces).

Liz: I’m still tired from that dinner. And meeting someone new? Ugh. All the nodding and smiling and sibling listing, and what’s the upside? It works and you have to have a bunch of sex?

Jack: Lemon, what do you want? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?

Liz: No. I just wish I could start a relationship about 12 years in, when you really don’t have to try anymore and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows and go to bed without anybody trying any funny business.

Jack: Lemon, don’t over think this. Gavin is a fabulous guy. If I were dating a man, he would be at the top of my list with Michael Jordan, Denzel Washington, Taye Diggs – God, do I have a black thing?

Tracey: Hey guys….daddy’s home…..don’t Menendez me.

Liz: That’s nothing. Sometimes to feel like I have company during dinner, I dispute credit card charges on speakerphone.

Kenneth street performing and getting his boom box and money stolen! LMAO!!

Liz: Tracey, get out of the hallway.

Tracey: Or am I!

Liz: Oh God, this dream again.

Tracey: That’s not me. That’s the Tracey Jordan Japanese sex doll. You could tell us apart because its not suffering from Vitamin deficiency.

Jack: Other than the natural inclination to make love to yourself, why did you get this?

Tracey: To use it as a decoy, so my greedy children will murder it and I’ll be able to escape un-Menendez.

Liz: This is insanity.

Tracey: Or is it. The parallel’s between the Jordans and Menendi are uncanny. Both families are rich, both families have two sons, and both families are staples of Court TV.

Tracey to one of his kids: It’s me, there’s nothing to be freaked out about. That’s just a Japanese sex doll in daddy’s bed.

Jack: Valore, I thought by now you’d be someplace that US Law couldn’t touch you, like Bali or Utah.

Random worker: We need the emergency floor Marshal!! *Cut to Kenneth running down the hallway*

Gavin: What? But you’re down there.

Tracey: Or am I!!

Jack: Good job, sex doll.

Tracey sex doll: You know a lot of people look down on sex dolls. But as we saw tonight, they save lives, and bring families together. How am I such an expert? I’m Tracey Jordan’s sex doll.

*Real Tracey arrives*

Tracey: Alright, let’s do this.

*the more you know logo flashes up* LMAO!!!

Episode 3.5: "Reunion"

Kenneth went to all all black high school and dated a girl named Tamika? LMAO!!

Tracey: You gotta go to your reunion. You get to get back at all everybody who messed with you.

*Cut to flashback*

Tracey: You said I never’d amount to anything!! Look at me now!!! Look at this necklace!!

Nun: Sir, this is a school for deaf girls.

*Cut back*

Jenna: And I definitely would’ve gone to my reunion but the boat I was educated on sank.

Jack: I wish I had a Princeton reunion. I’d wipe that smug smile off Michelle Obama’s face.

Jack: Lemon, you go and show that Kelsey Winthrop that the ugly duckling has turned into a vaguely ethnic swan.

Tracey sitting in his angry chair.

Liz: Boy, wasn’t it something landing in this storm, huh. Listen, about some of the stuff I said…..

*Cut to Liz terrified on the plane*

Liz: One time I laughed at a blind guy eating spaghetti……sometimes I pee in the shower if I’m really tired……I saw my grandparents making love once and I didn’t leave right away……

*high school flashback*

Kelsey: Hey Liz, how’s the telescope?

Liz: I don’t know Kelsey…..how’s your mom’s pill addiction.

Erin: This is a beauty mark but you thought it was funny to say God pooped on me.

Liz: I didn’t think anybody was listening to me.

Rob: Hello Elizabeth. It’s Rob Sussman. Still think I’m “gayer” than the volleyball scene in Top Gun?

Liz: No…..We were friends. I just said that stuff to try to make it okay for you to come out.

Rob: To come out of what? I’d like you meet my wife!......With whom I’ve raised three beautiful dogs! I cannot deal right now. I’m so mad all I can do is dance. *He does a little twirly dance move*

Liz: Even Rob Sussman hates me. He was the first gay guy I ever kissed.

Liz: Guys, I just want to say I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel ---

Kelsey: Really, Liz!! Twenty years too late and way to little.

Erin: Why don’t you leave cause we’re trying to have fun tonight.

Liz: That’s my point. I’ve changed. New Liz is fun. I don’t ruin parties, I get them going. *Liz starts dancing* Look, let’s do the “Diane.”

*The camera pans do Diane’s amputated leg as she walks out*

Kelsey: What is wrong with you!!

Kenneth starts crying: I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you’re my best friend.

Tracey starts crying: We’re not really best friends, we’re just good friends. I just want you to stop.

Kenneth: I will. I will. I’m so sorry Ms. Morone.

Jenna: No. Keep crying. I want you to feel this so you never make this mistake again.

*Kenneth starts to cry more, along with Tracey. *

Liz: I want to go to there.

The former classmates tying to “Carrie” Liz.

Jessica: Larry, we’re all so lucky to have you back in our lives, but me especially. Because there’s someone I want you to meet. Larry this is your son.

Jack: I am not Larry Braverman. I repeat, I am not Larry Braverman.

Liz: Once and for all I want to say I’m sorry…..You know what, suck it you twiddling ihop monkeys.

Jack: The jets’ waiting.

Liz: That’s right, a jet…..to New York Cityyyyyyy. Lemon, out!

[KevC1980]

Toups i love your recaps...so in depth..Anyone else watching this show?

[Toups]

Thanks. I love tpying out the dialogue!

Episode 3.6: "Christmas Special"

Jack: She’s fine. She’s better than fine. They’re giving her a titanium hip, like the Terminator…..it’s only going to make her more powerful.

Liz: I have a new family now, the Glovers, and I am going to get them all these rapping Santas. (The Black Santas toys starting singing regular Christmas songs) Oh, oh well, I assumed they rapped which is just racist on my part, but still, best Christmas ever….you’re welcome, Glovers.

Tracy: No, no, no, I will not let you go into that neighborhood alone. In the spirit of Christmas and Kwanzo...

Liz: KwanZA.

Tracy: ...and shalam shazam to you, my sister.

Tracey: What’s the past tense for scam? Is it scrummed? Liz Lemon, I think you just got scrummed.

Liz: Can you help me out with her?

Tracey: Oh, really? We’re both black so must know each other……Hey! Irene! Did Vicky hook you up with this job?

Tracey: Well if all you want is a hug from a black person, maybe you should just got The Price Is Right.

Kenneth: I don’t believe people would do that Ms Lemon. This is a religious holiday. When has religion ever caused any trouble?

Liz: Kenneth, you’re naïve.

Kenneth: And you’re acting like a c-word right now. That’s right, a Cranky-Sue.

Colleen: Exhibit C: 16 - 8 = 8!

Jack: What kind of mother tells her son that John Kennedy died because he talked in Church. Or tells her son that when he was voted captain of the diving team, quote, “What a great way to meet guy.”

Liz: Jack, I think you’re mother put out on Christmas to get you kids presents. She did it for you.

Jack: Not possible. She didn’t do anything for us.

Liz: I know you guys were pretty poor, did you have a lot of presents?

Jack: You couldn’t even see the tree.

[Toups]

Episodes 3.7 and 3.8 were so hilarious!!! And people wonder why the show keeps winning all these awards? I didn't see 3.9 yet, so here are the funny moments from 3.7 and 3.8:

Episode 3.7: "Senor Macho Solo"

Liz: Oh what a cute little girl, or boy if you grow up and feel that’s what inside you.

Jenna: O-M-G, Liz. Look at you and me and our biological clocks. You’re going baby crazy and I keep getting turned on by car accidents.

Jack: Tracey, your friends and I are concerened about you. They think your spending has gotten out of control. (Cut to Tracey wearing a shirt made out of dollars bills)

Tracey (gets up and starts….trying to walk with his gold shoes): Don’t help me, I’m too proud. (He has to walk by lifting his legs with his hands)

Liz: I really like this guy, but I’m afraid I’ll say something stupid like order a tall coffee, or Nintendo Wii.

Jack: Classic Lemon, man-eater.

Liz (does a claw with her hand): Cat sound.

Tracey: There he is. I owe you Jacky D. When I’m on my death bed frenching my wife, I will think of you.

Jack: It’s 7 O’clock, why don’t I hear my mother yelling, ‘Go home,’ to Asian contestant on Jeopardy.

Liz: Be careful crossing the --- (hand zips her mouth)

Kenneth (to Stuart): So what’s it like living under a bridge?

Liz: KENNETH!!

Jack: Thank you for telling me something I already know – you should work for the Huffington Post.

Jack: My exit involves a McFlurry machine and a tape of risqué commercials from oversees.

Jack: Are all these people your family? Why are they smiling so much? Who’s being ostracized?

Tracey (getting it on with Angie): This is real people!! This is not a drill!!

Jack: The lady will be having the tasteting menu, with some substitutions. Instead of any of it, she’ll have some hot water with a chicken bone in it, and a bowl of salted ice cubes.

Jack: Is it possible for two people to fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?

Kenneth: Thank you. That was the rap song ‘Top That’ from the movie Teen Witch. Once again, I apologize that our regular warm up comic O. D’d at a gay man’s apartment this morning.

Stuart: SHUT IT DOWN!!

Episode 3.8: "Flu Shot"

Elisa: I have another patient on my off days. He’s a sweet old man with advanced dementia……totally disconnected from reality.

Jack: That reminds me, I owe Lou Dobbs a call.

Dr. Spaceman: Jack, drop your pants.

(Jack drops his pants, but Dr. Spaceman gives him the flu shot on his arm)

Jack: Lemon, there you are. Leo’s giving out flu shots.

Dr. Spaceman: Not my favorite part of the medical profession. My favorite part is attending executions.

Jack (to Liz): Can I ask you a question as a woman.

Dr. Spaceman: You may, Jack. Are you going to alter your voice or dress up in any way.

Jack: Important people get better health care. They also get better restaurant resevations, bigger seats in planes….

Dr. Spaceman: ………. A more higher class of prostitutes. For me, it’s really about the companionship.

Dr. Spaceman: When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman’s mouth.

Jack: Kenneth, I’m considering giving you one of the remaining flu shots.

Kenneth: No need, sir. It would be an honour to die on my post and to be given the traditional burial of a Parcell man – wrapped in a confederate flag, fried, and fed to dogs.

Jenna: Tracy, I got it!

Tracy: Give me it! It’s mine!

Jack: Are you ready for your shot?

Liz: Never. A two tier health care is a crime. You know in Cuba everybody gets equal health care.

Jack: What a surprise, you’ve seen the Michael Moore movie.

Liz: Think again, Jack. I saw the trailer when I went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks.

The entire zombie sequence!

Pete during the zombie sequence: Why??????

Liz: Give me the shot, I want to go on my vacation. I take back all the stuff I said.

Dr. Spaceman: If you want a shot, you’re going to have to dance for it.

(Liz starts dancing)

Dr. Spaceman: Very nice.

Liz: I’m such a hypocrite. You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone I’m getting this shot.

Dr. Spaceman: Liz, I believe Doctor-Patient Confidentiality is a two-way street……I’m cheating on my wife.

Kenneth: I wasn’t resting. A Parcell man never lies down on the job…..unless that job involves milking pig tit.

Elisa: You have to hide, I cannot lose this job. I’d have to back to work on the late shift at Dunkin Donuts…..the customers are so sad.

(Cut to flashback)

Elisa: Can I help you?

Liz: Yes, what time do you start throwing out donuts?

[dm.]

Another 30 Rock fan! I just finished off with the first 15 episodes of the series and it's amazing..... I love the show already and can't wait to see more. There was one episode that really topped everything, I just couldn't start laughing..... Rachel Dratch playing Barbara Walters. I laughed my a off.

Barbara: Let’s get personal. Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara.

Jenna: Yes, that’s right.

Barbara: When he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired surfer named Roberta. Did that hurt her?

Jenna: It was hard on all of us, yes.

Barbara: Flurg murg glurg flurg murg murg murg tennis murg murg. Was a murg murg flurg?

Jenna: I’ll always be his little girl.

Barbara: Glurg.

[Toups]

Glad to see you're a fan, d! It's such an awesome show. I love Rachel Dratch's Barbara Walters.

Episode 3.9: "Retreat To Move Forward"

Tracy: So, how am I looking, Dr. Space Man.

Dr. Spaceman: Tracy, I don’t know how to say this…..D-A-Ba-Tes?

Tracy: Diabetes?

Dr. Spaceman: That’s it! Well, now we know what we’re dealing with. Unless you make some serious life style changes, you’re in danger of becoming diabetic.

Tracy: So how bad is diabetes, really?

Dr. Spaceman: It’s quite serious. If left untreated, you can lose a foot.

Tracy: Could I replace with a wheel, like Rosie from the Jetsons?

Dr. Spaceman: I suppose. But then you’d have to register as a motor vehicle.

Liz: I love these French fried potaters.

Jenna: No you don’t, Oprah.

Jack (talking to himself in the mirror): Look, buddy, here we go. Bases loaded, bottom of the ninth. Are you going to step up? Oh yeah. Because it’s winning time you SON-OF-A-BITCH! You go in there and show them! Make mommy proud of her big boy cause he’s the best. Just do it. Is it in you?! I’M LOVING IT!

Liz: Are you okay?

Jack: Oh sorry, I was just …….

Liz: Were you psyching yourself up in the mirror? I do that sometimes before I go to party where I don’t know a lot of people.

(cut to flashback)

Liz: Oh stop sweating you idiot. What is wrong with you, you STUPID BITCH!!

Kenneth: Good morning, Mr. Jordan. What’s that on your foot?

Tracy: It’s a practice wheel for when I lose my foot to diabetes.

Kenneth: You can’t eat candy if you have diabetes.

Tracy: There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s white-myth, Ken. Like Larry Byrd or Colorado.

Jenna: Well of course I’m taking it seriously. This is my chance to win an Oscar. The Academy loves dead singers and the handicap, and Janis was both.

Tracy: No! N-O-E. No!!.....E!.

Liz: Sorry! I dropped it when I was pretending it was my penis. Robot-penis (in a robotic voice).

Kenneth: Where I come from, people either die from diabetes or go cart accidents.

Hair Stylist: So, I heard about you and Frank.

Jenna: Ugh…I know it’s hard to believe. Now, Dog-the-Bounty-Hunter is the second grossest guy I’ve ever been with.

Jenna scaring Tracy and Kenneth: Look at me!!! I’m a monster!!!! And then Tracy/Kenneth stuffing their mouth with vegetables. LMAO!!

Liz showing her bra and dancing: Everybody dance now!!!

The Sig Sigma Pillars:

1. Teamwork

2. Insight

3. Brutality

4. Male Enhancement

5. Handshakefulneses

6. Play hard

[marceline]

OMG! I didn't know this board had a 30 Rock thread! I saw it pop up on the page and all I could think was...

"I want to go to there."

[dm.]

OMG I nearly fainted while watching this part of "Cleveland," a first season episode. Just wow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3exHUJZ2gk

[Toups]

Liz said that again in the last episode!

I love this scene! "Oh, there is nothing like New York in the spring." (She gets shoved into a pile of garbage)

Episode 3.10: "Generalissimo"

Jack: Those are your new interns.

Liz: Aren’t they a little old and over-dressed?

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off during the economic crash that Nancy Pelosi caused.

Jenna (going through Drew’s mail): He plays golf. That means he’s not gay OR poor.

Jack: Only the special tourist only get to see Conan without his wig.

Intern: Hey, when I quote lines from your movies, that’s not racist right?

Tracy: Of course not. I transcend race.

Drew: I’m Drew. Sorry I smell like frosting….I just love to bake.

Liz: I want to go to there.

Tracy: I have a rep to maintain. If I can’t keep up with a bunch of white wallstreet frat boys……uh oh…..here come the roofies. (He falls down) You can do whatever you want to me.

Liz: What you’re a nurse?

Elisa: Yes. Some of us are hot.

Generalissimo is freakin awesome!! First the constant slapping….then shooting the guy at the ‘two’ count…..then lighting the firecracker that was tied to the kid’s head.

Liz (wearing a t-shirt for ‘Pediatric Restless Leg Syndrome’): Oh, I forgot I had this on. I have so many charity t-shirts.

Jack: Is she watching?

Elisa: Yes. I told her it was a very special episode.

Jack: Goodbye, General.

(On the tv: a woman fires a gun shot at the General. The General says something)

Jack: Wait….wait….what did he just say? That wasn’t in the script.

Elisa: He said, “You missed.”

(On the tv: the woman fires another)

Elisa: He said, “You missed again.”…………

(The General says something again)

Elisa: …….and now this potion is gonna make me live forever. What’s happening, Jack? Generalissimo was suppose to die!

Jack: Moreda has gone Broken Arrow. Jonathan! We really should have somebody on the set who speaks Spanish.

Jack: You know, I’m doing this for a woman. (He shows Moreda a picture of Elisa on his cell phone) This woman.

Moreda: Wow! I am super gay and I would totally switch for her.

Jenna: Are you an actress?

Elisa: No. I’m a nurse.

Jenna: Okay good. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to become an actress.

Elisa: He drugged her champagne and had his way with her. Later, she gave birth to the devil, you know, sweeps week.

Liz: That’s what I could do to Drew.

Jenna: Drug him? Liz, no. Having been on both sides of that, I can tell you it’s not a good idea.

Hector Moreda is the spokesman for those chips that Liz eats! (reference to past season!)

Liz: But you haven’t seen Dr. Baird. He looks like a cartoon pilot.

Tracy: It’s like I said in my no-hit comedy Cruise Boat, “I’m getting to old for this ship!”

Kenneth: Well, you are getting older, sir. There’s no reason you have to keep acting like your 20.

Tracy: Yes there is! Do you know what happens to a comedian when he gets old and loses his audience? He starts to get offers for serious roles, and do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?

Kenneth: No. That would be terrible. You leave him alone.

Generalissimo: Welcome. I look forward to your wonderful cooking. Later, I will fulfill my dream of making love to an older Puerto Rican woman. But first, let me compliment pictures of your grandchildren.

Generalissimo: After you scratch off these lottery tickets, can we go to McDonald’s and order only coffee?

After Drew accidently takes a roofie.

Liz: I am the Generalissimo.

Drew (on the floor, crying of fear): I don’t know what that means.

Matt Lauer: The Lehmens Brothers Investment Bank will reopen under the direction of comedian Tracy Jordan.

Tracy (at a press conference): I am doing this so no one will know I’m getting old.

Journalist: But you just told us you’re getting old.

Tracy: This interview is over.

Matt Lauer: And now to lighten things up….beaufitul pictures of latin babies and the music of Tito Puente……(Looks off camera) Jack, this is ridiculous.

I'm calling it right now, Alec Baldwin is going to sweep the Emmys, Golden Globes and SAG again next year for this episode! He was once again just brilliant.