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This is a good episode. Emily seeing John at Susan's apartment is classic.

I guess they got away with this because James was supposed to be far over the edge at this point, but he calls Hank a very ugly slur. I am continually surprised by how much Marland and the producers of this era were able to push the envelope.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INsvzKxzZIo

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This is one of those episodes where you can see, as I think you pointed out Carl, Marland is showing James quick descent...disguised as an old man (and actually a good disquise) and wanting to use Lucinda's "stables," as his home base. I also love that they have Lucinda questioning the authenticity of the letter, which would never happen after Marland leaves and people loose their brains.

Fulton looks horrible with that red hair never understood why they didnt make her go back to blonde. Love how Marland uses a realistic gossip session between Babs and Lisa to give a little expostion about Lucinda and John and I love the little touches of continuing Lisa and Ellen bickering "Why I just can't imagine why David never comes up here to visit you, you have to go all the way down all the time," and "Oh, I will show you some nice things, and they are on SALE!" I don't know if its the writing or Fulton's ease with the character and a bitchy twist on words but it adds a nice texture then drama, drama, drama...all the time, you get the feeling these people have actually know each other for decades.

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Yeah, the dialogue between Ellen and Lisa could be generic, but Fulton does twist it around to let you know they aren't exactly friends.

I wonder a few times about Eileen's hair and makeup choices in those years...in the early 80s she still looked very stylish. She does improve again by the early 90's.

I also like how in this episode Julie is still recovering from her abortion. On a soap today she'd be having sex with Andy already.

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I have to say I almost didnt watch that watching Julie and Andy making out...I hated those two.

Yea, the Ellen actress plays it straight but Fulton does that little twist where she is having fun with a less then worthy partner. Yea, I remember reading a article about the time that Fulton left ATWT as she felt she was just fading into the background (which I have to say wasnt true, they built a whole family for her) so she dyed her hair red as she was bored. She looked terrible with it. Then there was a story where she was having a party to announce if she was leaving the show or not, and they had her "stylist," a "Ms. Frankie," who, as my father would say, "Looked like an old whore!" So we can see some of her uh, less the wise choices.

Would have been interesting if, during the Dobson's time, if Lisa took one of Ellen's girls under her wing, and she and Ellen could have a good old fashioned throw down.

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This episode has some short but super fun moments of catty gossip between Susan and Emily. It seems like once the show decided to beef up Susan's role, they took this side of her personality away. It's too bad.

The most important part of this episode is that it sort of clears up the frankly bizarre plan Kirk had in some of the strike episodes about getting Spencer to befriend Lily. Apparently this was all some master plan, clearing Dusty and Holden out of town, in order to win Lily for himself?!?!?!?! He then decided against this because he fell in love with Iva. I guess we should be relieved they didn't have him dating Iva but being in love with Lily. I wonder if this story may have been planned as an exit for Lily in case Martha Byrne left (she ultimately decided to renew her contract to run through late summer 1989). There's a decent Lily/Spence scene in here. I wonder if they should have put them together for a while (Lily trying to save a damaged man, and failing) instead of Lily/Caleb, which doesn't work for me.

Lucinda deliciously loves the drama over baby Adam, and rages at Kirk about how she has to go ride a horse. I think she is going to really enjoy that horse ride. There are some nice Margo/Craig scenes too.

And to top it off, the episode ends with Kirk using an ugly homophobic slur. Once again I'm surprised at what the show got away with.

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The show (i.e. Marland) was really good at subtley showing that even nice people can have bigoted and homophobic thoughts, (even if they are the most polite and homophobic people ever.) Thought it was interesting when they showed that even open minded Lisa, who screwed her way through Oakdale was bigoted against black people. Interesting that it was part of the mix of the Duncan and Jessica story (which I thought was a snooze, but I never though Duncan fit in Oakdale..) and not this HUGE story. Contrast that with the dreaded Nuke story where the kid's dad was such a raging homophobe, didnt he try to kill Luke??? If they told the story now Lisa would have held Jessica hostage or something.

Also watching these clips its amazing how textured the show was. People have little conversations like real (once again though amazingly waspy and polite) people. The shows lost all that with just OTT drama, drama, drama.

Edited by Mitch
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to do that, it would solve all the problems. Imagine, just one person, one individual, each one."

Suddenly, there was a peaceful, serene look on Kathryn's face. I asked her if she considered herself to be a prayerful person.

"I don't know," she replied. "Terms like that are kind of misleading, I think. I don't walk around saying prayers all the time, if that's what you mean. I also think it depends on what one thinks prayer is. The world's concept of a prayerful person, I think, is probably someone who does sit around praying all the time. That is not the way I go about my life. I think that sometimes trying to put principals into practice is being prayerful and if that's how you want to define it - then yes, I am prayerful."

Smiling at Kathryn's way with words, I couldn't help commenting that she seemed to be a doer.

"I'm trying to be," she answered. "I'm not saying I'm always able to do/i] but I'm certainly in there trying. I have a fan club now and it is a complete joy to me because the people who have joined the club are beginning to enjoy each other. They have started writing to each other and friendships are forming. They are communicating and growing and learning from one another and I think that's the best thing in the world. They are loving towards each other and towards me and it's really a sharing of ideas. It proves that people can communicate over distances if the need of the interest is there."

"But, Kathryn," I said, "it's pretty hard to find people, particularly in this day and age, who will openly admit that they have found 'something' to guide their lives by and won't allow themselves to be distracted or detoured."

"It's interesting that you should say 'openly admit,'" Kathryn answers. "it's not that I don't openly admit my feelings because I'm delighted to share whatever I can, but it's difficult during an interview to be specific about one's beliefs especially when it's something not too well known or understood. To discuss any particular group or sect or anything like that would be a total disservice."

Since Kathryn was reluctant to discuss how she came by her philosophy and it's exact name, it did seem only fair to find out if she always had this inner peace and serenity, or if her new found philosophy was the cause of it all.

"Oh, yes, this has definitely done it for me. I wasn't that way at all, although I certainly had a background of going to church and Sunday school, and I'm grateful that I had that. My parents always saw to it that I had that atmosphere around me. I'm sure it's the basis upon which I've been able to survive some things in life which were less than pleasant. There was also a time in life when I turned away from everything. I was very disillusioned and questioning and I went through quite a period of time that I didn't believe in God - I always did. There were just things I didn't understand, but never did I question that there is a God. I just chose not to be part of organized religion.

"But, you go through things in life," continued Kathryn, "and sometimes you get to something that you're just not going through too well and it's then you turn back to your faith because nothing else really cuts the mustard. You're right down to the nitty gritty. It goes without saying that the peace of mind and inner peace I've found is an acquired thing over a period of time. Believe me, I didn't come that way.

"I believe this inner peace even gives one a feeling of self confidence. I think most of us, if we're imagining that we can get through this human experience without any kind of help from anything, well, it pretty much cuts one off and makes one a little finite individual and that's pretty scary isn't it, to think of one's self that way?

"Some people may think that relying on a superior being is a crutch but I don't see it that way at all. My understanding is that man is the spiritual reflection of God and it's this quality that we're supposed to demonstrate. Now I know things look really awful at times, but that's when you really have to hold firm and maintain your own serenity and have a pocket of it here and there.

"Oh, sure, I get low at times but I don't stay there very long because I know it's not valid and I know I have way to lift myself out of it. So, one would be very foolish not to do so. I have no doubts. I no longer question. I feel that divine presence is ever present. I don't see God as being out there someplace, I understand God to be something that's infinitely present, always there for man to be expressing, to guide and to protect and love us. It takes the onus of muddling through everything without being alone. There are a lot of people in this world who do see things this way. Doing it and living it is what means something and that seems to be what will draw people's interests much more than words - deeds. They are far more impressive and far more meaningful."

Does the way Kathryn feels about life and God inhibit her lifestyle or relationships with people in any way?

"It doesn't keep me from doing things or keep me out of things that would be good for me. I'm certainly able to do things and whatever I feel is disinteresting is usually something that I'm not going to gain anything from anyway. With friends I don't feel the necessity to run around making people think the way I think. Most of my friends know how I think and feel and know that socially there are things I will or won't do. I'm accepted on that basis or they wouldn't be friends, would they? After all, they have a right to their beliefs and leanings."

What are Kathryn's goals or hopes for the future?

"I just hope to be a decent person, to try to grow as an individual. That's certainly a goal that I have. In life, I don't think anyone should have a sense of limitation as to what they can do or cannot do with their lives. I never try to limit my life by feeling thtat I've reached a certain point and can go no further. I don't have any specific goals that I'm striving for other than on a general basis: a goal of growth, of hoping to express wisdom and good qualities as an individual. Everytime I find myself thinking toward one particular point, it seems to me that that is a limitation. It closes your mind to everything else, so I just try to keep an open mind about what I'm doing and not imagine that I have to stay in one spot to maintain one little area of endeavor. That, perhaps, seems to be lacking in direction, and yet the direction of my life seems fairly consistent. It has encompassed a lot of different areas and I enjoy that.

"If something is offered to me, I never hesitate to do it. I plough right in. If it's something I don't know how to do well, then I'll take the time to learn. It's just that simple. I do try. I used to really believe that when something is offered that's really interesting - you should go ahead and do it."

And, that, my friends is the story of one beautiful lady. But remember one thing, please. She's not just beautiful to look at for watch on a television screen - she's beautiful to listen to, also. Kathryn Hays has now found inner peace and it shows in the serene look on her face.

- R. MARION ROSE

Edited by CarlD2
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