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To all those I offended...


Mason

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Very well put CSW.

And Bradeis as to the topic of being gay, I was talking about SON's regards to a person being gay or bisexual or whatever. You will not find anyone here who will disrespect you for your sexuality or any celebrity for their sexuality. I have been here now a little over a year and I have not seen that in any poster. Even those who are totally straight have never offended anyone who isn't. Not that I have seen anyone or made fun of anyone who is.

Now as to your comment about not being able to discuss someone's sexuality it goes with SON's goal to report only those things they can confirm and not to allow the bashing of an actor or a show. I respect that. For awhile around here it go bad in that people were reporting all kinds of rumors about folks and about the shows and it got hard for many to tell what was truth and what was fiction.

SON has always had a distinction of making sure their reports are verified and does not have the reputation of reporting false rumors or even a bunch of false spoilers that never come true.

So yes you are right we are not allowed to say outright a person is gay unless it has been verified. We can speculate and say possibly this person is but we need to say that we are speculating. To out someone that doesn't want to be outed yet is not something that SON wants to be a part of and I can respect them for that. It has nothing to do with any of them thinking that being Gay is wrong.

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But not everyone's mature, so it needs to be used. The SON I knew was a certain kind a board: free from the kind of posting you get on other boards that are fanbase crazy. That has never had a place at SON.

There is a difference between:

and
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I'm inclined to agree.

Expressing dispapproval for the soap operas on air and wishing for its cancellation is not a precursor to a flame. It should not be. Some posters should not get so riled up by the mere suggestion. After all, our comments, varying as they may be can be debated without the next person declaring war and besieging others with hysteria.

Presumably, we're all grown up's. We can engage in discourse that doesn't amount to the censoring of other opinions for the simple matter that there is not a collective agreeance. If I feel like posting that _______ should be cancelled, that's my perrogative. It's not law or written in stone; others are free to dissent, but it shouldn't be barred because someone might take offense.

I always try to allocate the utmost respect for fello SONers. Even when I disagree with their perspectives, my inclination is not to put on the war paint. Unless it's taken to that level, but that's just a few bad apples spoiling the bunch and poisoing the atmosphere. At least Hogan made amends. He got caught up in the moment, but I haven't found it to be a repetitive practice with him.

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I always make sure that if a heated debate does arise and I am involved somehow to say something like "we'll have to agree to disagree" or put up a smiley or something to almost say "No offense" or "everything is ok."

I think it's sometimes the tone of a comment that gets people riled up. Some comments come off as obnoxious or just give off a feel that there is sarcasm behind them. For instance, people that say something like 'I figured you would say that" and then put the rolls eyes icon after it. That is borderline rude IMO. I think tone is very important and word choice as well. My posts are often lengthy because I want to make sure that I make my point and discuss it in a way that doesn't make me come off as "I know I am right and your not." I always try to make sure that people know I think their opinions and views matter and that they are entitled to them, even if we disagree. Everyone is equal and I always make an effort to be as respectful as possible. Sometimes I will even PM a poster to make sure everything is cool.

I think the warning feature can only go so far. People should not try to instigate things just to cause a ruckus or because they are bored. People need to be mature about it. We all are passionate about our soaps, couples, etc. I love Days and everyone knows that I will always defend it no matter what. I will argue with others about it but it doesn't mean their opinion doesn't matter to me. Often times I see the other person's point because they layout what they say very well. Sometimes things turn heated because the person's point is vague or not explained clearly but I still make sure the person knows I am not belittling their view or opinion.

The simplest way to solve this problem is for people to think before they post. Think about what you say and the way you say it and what could start as a result. Tone and word choice can make a real difference. I think if posters do that and just remember that some are more sentimental then others or deal with things and react to things more differently then others, then I think everything will be fine.

Oh, and Hogan, it's ok. I understand and we all make mistakes. I hope things get better for you. :)

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