Zendallrella and I joined forces to bring you this (crossing fingers) motivational mvid.

Enjoy!

Look of Love--Dusty Springfield/Till I Collapse--Eminem

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EYIDSHO1

YSI LINK

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?acti...D439D61070F8BF0

Savefile link

http://savefile.com/files/39326

Note: I was so eager to finish that I forgot to credit Gidget, Dust from the Soul, and Zach and Kendall Screencaps. I hope it's ok that I am just doing it here.

The following "muse" was inspired by and written for an accompanying mvid. If you are a Zach and Kendall fan who needs some encoragement, this is for you...

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They had me. Right from the start, the first look, the way that they spoke to one another. There was a connection there. Even though they weren't thinking of each other in terms of even sharing a relationship, let alone being the "love" of one another’s lives…it was there. And on New Year's Eve, when they finally expressed their love for one another, to one another, I committed myself to them…mind, body, and soul.

I have spent countless hours on the Internet reading about them, posting about them, immersing myself in anything and everything related to them. Their happiness has been my happiness, their sadness has sometimes kept me awake at night trying to come up with some plan, some scheme…anything…to give me more time with them. No amount of time is ever going to be enough, but I get so damn tired of having crumbs. It is with the utmost regret that the person that holds their fate in her pen is a torturous !@#$%^&*]. She gives us just enough of them to keep us hooked and reeled-in and then…agony.

Like mad dervishes, we plot, we write, we campaign…so much energy. It gets hard. There never seems to be an end in sight to the constant angst, never enough BLISS to balance it all out. Some days you just want to throw your television sets out the window and pretend you'd never heard of ABC, AMC, or Zendall. The ending of a poem by Nikki Giovanni, one of my favorite poets, entitled Balances kind of sums it up:

and i've begun

(as a reaction to a feeling)

to balance

the pleasure of loneliness

against the pain

of loving you

It's been a little over a year since the first marriage: the one for business, convenience and revenge. Eight months since that shared declaration of love on NYE. Three months since those magical moments aboard that yacht and yet, I find myself questioning why I continue to put myself through it. Is it really worth it? Can it really be as wonderful as I tell myself that it is? Should I just give up? The answer is a resounding yes, yes, and HELL NO!

I cannot, I will not…give up on my ZEN. I don't care that my eyes are weary from staring at my PC monitor and my fingers cramped from clutching the mouse. I can break every nail on both hands while typing on the keyboard, and continue to lose sleep trying to figure out the next step to implore the idiots in charge to give me what I want. I will NOT falter. I'm so devoted. I'm tired, I'm angry…I'm spoiled. Dammit! I can't go back to watching these contrived couples stripping themselves bare and simulating love and pretend to enjoy it when I know that I've seen more passion in the looks between Zach and Kendall. I will not go back to rooting for the so-called "good guys" who run around town thumping themselves on their chests, or those who stumble into solving crimes, all the while taking care to ensure that everyone within shouting distance is aware of their "heroism". I need Zach, my reluctant hero, the one who gets [!@#$%^&*] done without telling anyone or expecting anything. I can't stomach Ryan's Kendall, full of apologies, insecurities and desperation. I've seen her come too far. I won't trade in the woman she has become for the foolish girl she once was. I won't.

I will fight tooth and nail for my ZEN. I don't care how tired I get; I will not give up. I'm going the distance and I need you with me. I need your strength, your unwavering loyalty, and your energy. I need you to be positive even if it looks like the [!@#$%^&*] is going to hit the fan. Don't just need a sermon…give one. Hell…BE one! You are a ZEN soldier. I am a ZEN soldier. This is a fight…one which we can't afford to lose. Pine Valley needs Zach and Kendall…together. I won't quit and I won't let you quit. I'm going to keep hammering at those people who hold our soap happiness in their undeserving hands. And I will do this until I get my ZENDALL the right way or…

‘Til I Collapse

this is really good.. so thanks to the both of you..

keep the faith

I added a you send it link to the first post just in case people have been having trouble with the megaupload link.

violette

bump

I added a savefile link to the first post b/c some were having trouble with Megaupload and YSI.

violette