MinervaFan

To whoever was logged on as "TracyLove" last night on the chat, thank you! I finished reading the transcript and feel much better about yesterday. Yes, Luke kept his physical and emotional distance form Tracy, but in retrospect, that's just perfectly in character for both of them. Your comments gave me a lot to think about. First, Tracy needs physical affection and closeness in times of great grief and pain, but she doesn't Want it. What she wants is to keep her walls up, to put on that strong Quartermaine face, and to never let anybody know she's hurting inside. With Dillon, she can't keep it up. She will accept warmth from him, but she is still the Mommy and still in the position of power. With Ned, he doesn't wait for her--he just barrels through her defenses and forces her to accept comfort from him. He forced her to let him hold her when Lila died, and he didn't really wait for an engraved invitation yesterday, either. Her thank you was pretty evident that she didn't want to have to ask, and that she was grateful that he offered. Luke, however, is not one of Tracy's sons, and he hasn't had an entire lifetime to learn how to read her. Dillon and Ned seem to know when they have to push through Tracy's defense mechanisms--probably a survival skill they learned early on. They know the difference between when she means "don't touch me" and when "don't touch me" actually translates to "I can't bear this, I'm afraid, you can touch me, but you're gonna have to try hard to do it, I will fight you, but if you succeed, I'll be eternally grateful to you for being so brave...." Luke is still in that place where he needs, as TracyLove put it, to be invited to show affection to Tracy. No matter how close they get, Luke is not a Quartermaine. He is not "family" yet, and he knows it. He knows he's going to have to wait for Tracy to make the first move, especially at this time. I kind of wish he was not so hopped up on AntiScott pills right now, because he looks like an ass. But I think yeah, he's handling Tracy the only way he knows how to handle Tracy--which is to let Tracy handle herself. She's a big girl, and if she needs help, she'll pretend not to ask for it like she always does. I think he will come around, because I think Tracy will eventually have nothing else to focus on to distract her from her grief. Hopefully, Luke will be there for her, and not off giving Laura a pedicure..... Argh.

This is how I'm feeling right now. Dear Luke, I hope you don't take this in the wrong way, but I have to ask a huge favor of you. Go away. Leave. Hit the road. I know I prefer it when you're back. I know I miss you when you're gone. In truth, I really sorta love you, ya know. But I can't take you right now. Not with everything else that's going on. If you were being supportive, if you were being loving, if you even GAVE A DAMN that Alan died, I might want you to stay. But you don't. So please. Go the hell away, just for a little while, so I can grieve in my own way. Love you-- Tracy

*passing out the buckets of chocolate-covered Prozac after reading MsQ's post*

Response to PinkPopsicle But that's just my speculation.... SPOILER FOR TODAY!

The Master List of Stories has been updated at the Ficathon, if anybody hasn't been paying attention. Spoiler Speculation:

Carrie, I LOVED "Perfect Day!" It was just so rollicking and fun and romantic. If ONLY TIIC would do something like that....

Ya'll have GOT to read this new story at the LoveFest. I don't know this person yet, but I totally intend to make an acquaintence. Massive Young LuNacy in Lust hawtness, very well written. The Penitant, Part 1: http://community.livejournal.com/tq_ficathon/64524.html

Fracking incredible scenes today. I'm in the Break Room, if anyone's interested. http://pub13.bravenet.com/chat/show.php/1049349012

*sniff*

Is nobody watching live? Apparently JE is so good even RC fans are liking her. Oh, I'm feeling snarky today. Must be the hormones. *grabbing the chocolate-covered Prozac back from MsQ, because I need them more*

MsQuartermaine, I'm sending you a box full of chocolate-covered Prozac. LALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! No more negativity. LALALLALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! This WILL work out in our favor. Heck, didn't that spoiler chick lady say that LuNacy fans were going to be VERY happy with something that came out of this whole Alan fiasco? I'm CLINGING to my delusions. I'm on my period, I'm less than 2 weeks away from going back to see my OWN dysfunctional family, and I'm going to be HAPPY, darn it. Here--virtual cookies and chocolate pie for everybody. So there....

Okay, it's time for MinervaFan to come in and be the voice of reason--YET again--with you people. First of all, calm down. You heard me, LoveFesters. Calm. DOWN. All is not lost, all is not over, hope is still alive. Since my last post, I've had (1) food, (2) rest, (3) Motrin (hormonal stuff requires Better Living Through Chemistry), and (4) time to think. And I've made a couple of observations. PROBLEM: Alan dying off-screen. Yeah, it was lame and disrespectful to the actors. This is GH. You want respectful of actors, go to Broadway. Or Sundance. Because you're not going to get it on daytime. TIIC think of the actors (with the exception of a small handful of ego-bloated dress-up dolls) as commodities, and will use them as they see fit. It was how it was in the time of the ancient Greeks, Shakespeare did it, and you know Frons and his goons aren't going to be any better. BRIGHT SIDE: Alan died off screen. With Emily, the Little Orphan Girl, the only one at his side. No bells. No whistles. No attempts to revive him. Now. Put on your TracyVision goggles and take another look at this situation. Her brother was doing fine. He spends twenty seconds alone with The Little Orphan Girl and mysteriously dies--no attempts at revival, no calls to the emergency team. Nothing. In your TracyVision, what does this tell you? The Little Orphan Girl, who is training to be a doctor, did NOTHING to try to save your brother. Now. Fast-forward to the will. Who does Alan leave his money to? THE LITTLE ORPHAN GIRL! TRACY-SAVING ELEMENT: We have just found our GOOD reason for Tracy going ballistic on Emily's inheritance. In her grief-clouded vision, EMILY caused Alan to die by not responding properly. I can even stretch it into her believing (in her grief) that Emily KNEW about the will and CHOSE not to help Alan. Granted, it's far-fetched, but we've seen what grief does to Tracy. We've seen how far her mind will go, and how far her emotions will go to avoid the real pain by diverting it into rage at something else. And let's face it, JE will rock this. PROBLEM: Luke not being with her when she found out. To be honest, from the SZ Live Post, I actually thought Luke was not at the hospital when Alan died, so him being with Elizabeth was actually a relief. BRIGHT SIDE: He was IN the hospital, which will at least put him in "running through the halls, get outta my way, I need to get to my wife, oh, Tracy, Baby, let me hold you" distance. TRACY-SAVING ELEMENT: Dude, he's gonna feel so guilty he wasn't there! Besides, this will give them time for it to hit her, for Tracy to really feel it, and to feel that familiar sense of "Oh, god, I'm really alone." And right when it happens, right when it hits her, they have the opportunity for Luke to do the aforementioned "running through the halls, get outta my way, I need to get to my wife, oh, Tracy, Baby, let me hold you" thing. It will reinforce the whole White Knight Coming to the Rescue effect. PROBLEM: Alan's ghost. I've heard SD is not happy with it, but he's a commodity and TIIC will use him as they see fit. Because actors are dolls and producers don't care. BRIGHT SIDE: More SD/JE interaction. TRACY-SAVING ELEMENT: This one took me a moment. Actually, it took Fey's spontaneous response to the news to put it in a whole different light. I told her, expecting the same disgust everyone else is giving, and her entire face lit up and she said, "Oh, my god! The fans won!" That just sort of shifted things for me. Yeah, it's a lame excuse to fix the train wreck Frons, Guza, and Phelps (the REAL Three Stooges) committed against GH, SD, and the fans. But it's still a sign that the gazillion angry letters had an effect on them. Also, Alan acting as Tracy's snarky, invisible Jiminy Cricket does have serious potential. The folks at MQAS are raging that it's Tracy and not Monica seeing him (I love the accusations of "Tracy-propping." I guess it's all relative, isn't it?) But I'm serious--did Jacob Marley and the Ghosts of Christmas Fill-In-The-Blank show up to haunt Bob Cratchet? No, if Alan's gonna come back and haunt somebody, it's going to be the person who (a) never accepted his death, ( never got a chance to say goodbye, and © is TAKING OUT HER GRIEF ON SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE IT (like, say, oh, The Little Orphan Girl). As for the sweat suit, I even see the exchange. Tracy: (Notices suit.) What are you wearing? Ghost!Alan: Hey, I'm off the clock. Literally. Tracy: You can't be my brother. My brother would never be caught dead in somethi-- Ghost!Alan: (Laughs at her.) Tracy: I need a drink. Okay, guys. All is not lost. This can still work in our favor. And at least we have a Tracy storyline coming up that DOESN'T rely 100% on her interaction with Luke. So SMILE, already.

re: Spoilers and GUZA the LOOSAH. I may be ill. No, I am ill.

New fic: 100 Situations #36: Before the Night (Tracy/Luke): Tracy is plagued by nightmares. More post-mortem on SD/Alan Quartermaine. I need fresh air. But I'm really depressed about this. It's really pissing me off. URL: http://community.livejournal.com/tq_ficathon/63961.html

Oh, and one more thing. It's ALL about Jaaaaassssoooonnnnnnn!!!!!! Brace yourself, boys and girls. It's going to be a difficult week.

Lots of spoilers: > > > > # Luke tries to pummel Scott. `Cause of Laura. Some things never change. # Lulu gets her grubby little paws on something Alan wrote for Luke about Rick. She and Dillon pore over the contents, which point directly at Scott as the culprit. # Dillon at least gets the gist of the letter. He makes every effort to pass on this information to Lulu. However, he and she must contend with one distraction after another. # A second and final heart attack consumes Alan. He barely hangs on. # Emily prays for Jason to hurry up and say goodbye to his father before it's— # —too late, too bad. # Monica's self-incrimination knows no bounds # Edward and Tracy stand by Monica with as much emotional support as they can muster. # Monica can no nothing but face facts, Alan will soon leave her. # And so, Alan does, quietly into the night. # Emily lets the Quartermaines—all of the Qs—know of Alan's passing. # Jason lays his remorse at Alan's dead feet. So much remorse for so many things, for failing to love him as a son should, for not making it in time to tell him that indeed, there was love felt. # Monica cannot bear it any longer. Jason holds her firmly as she collapses. # Aim the Emmy shot at Tracy's Jane Elliot. # Alan passes on to the great hereafter, joining his beloved mother Lila. # (Alan's spirit will be with the Quartermaines, Jason and other loved ones for a little while longer. Still, Alan's spirit is not Alan in the flesh—and this awareness puts quite a damper on the survivors, notably the Qs.) # When it comes time to make preparations for Alan's memorial service, Monica and Tracy butt heads, dragging everybody down. # Carly stops by with condolences for the Qs. She also lets Michael hang out there. For Alan. # Emily makes a request of Jason: Please put up with the Qs, for Alan's sake. # Sam reaches out to an emotionally war-torn Jason. # Sonny tries to pay his respects to Alan, but faces an irate Edward only too willing to subvert his own grief for a little blame game in Jason's name. # Sonny doesn't help ease Jason's remorse any with his words of counsel. # The memorial service convenes, dredging up the beautiful and the ugly, all. # Skye tends to Edward, her kindness a balm. # Tracy gets a hold of Skye and rips into her mercilessly with a, How dare you be here?! # Edward calls on Sam for a singleminded purpose that may help ease the pain of losing Alan. # Losing Alan just about kills Jason. # Jason keeps going back in his mind to these odd, unfinished memories about Alan trying to speak to him. # Robin and Patrick are joined at the hip, while paying homage to Alan. # Unfortunately, doctors have ordered Robin to stay ambulatory for a week until her wounds heal. # Patrick makes Robin feel a lot better about her condition, about herself as a woman loved. # The real drama occurs in Alan's will. Tracy can't believe her brother bequeathed the sum total of his estate to Emily. # Tracy recruits Luke to help her doctor the will to reflect a more generous bestowment. # Alan's will is finally read, the doctored one. All eyes glare at Tracy, who feigns innocence. # Not for long, not after Alan? gets through with her. # Lucky had asked Elizabeth for her hand in marriage. Elizabeth gives Lucky her answer. # Elizabeth gets deep and real with Luke. # The Spencers rejoice. L&L2 will wed! # Jason promises Elizabeth his discretion. # Mr. Craig receives a bullet for his trouble. # The hostage crisis serves to bring Alexis closer with her estranged daughter Sam. And vice versa. # Jax arrives, only to be hit from all sides. # Alexis lets down her guard around Jax, predicting sure doom in Molly's custody. # Jax kicks it into gear, to prevent Alexis's worst fears from coming true. He puts Ric and Ric's position as DA on notice. # Sonny and Jax circle around Carly, in a dance of jealousy and deja vu. # Maxie scrounges around so that Cooper will soon be gainfully, legally employed. # Surviving the hostage crisis causes post-traumatic stress for Robin, as well as a wellspring of deep gratitude. # What Patrick was willing to do, what he did for her with no thought to himself, confirms to Robin his love, reducing her insecurities. # Robin has to check out of the hospital and recuperate at Mac's house. # Patrick opens his HIV test result, with Robin nervously by his side. The smile says it all. # The sight of Patrick discussing a patient with a cutie patootie doctor-ress revs up Robin's insecurity all over again. # Robin frets about the level of Patrick's commitment in a con-fab with Lainey and Maxie. They remind Robin of Patrick's commitment as unwavering. # To prove their point, Patrick arrives bearing a gift of flowers for Robin. And words of love for only her. # Next week: All gather for Alan's memorial service. You'll be surprised… Tracy and Luke conspire to inherit Alan's booty… Jax goes to be with Carly, after a long period of trying to save his brother Jerry… Jax catches Carly in a sexual confession when she presumes he's Sonny. The two go back and forth about her infidelity and the marriage, his going away yet again… In the midst of putting Jax on the spot for deserting her, Carly cops to still loving Sonny but wanting Jax as her betrothed… Sonny asserts his desire to have Carly for himself, to hell with Jax… Jason abdicates his personal happiness, for the greater good, Lucky's… The Big Chill visits Port Charles. Cue the Rolling Stones… --From groups.msn.com/GeneralHospitalForFans

For those who didn't know, Tracey over at Jane-Elliot.com has uploaded a SCADLOAD of new articles. I'm perusing at the moment and came across this comment that had me chuckling muchly: "My father was a lawyer, my mother was a 'cookie' mom - always there every day at 3 when I got home from school. They never divorced, we lived in the same house and went to the same schools for years. There was a great deal of stability - and my brother and I wound up crazier than bedbugs." JE, on the perils of parenting, 9/19/89. LMAO.

Did anybody read this? It was posted in the Stuart Damon Fans Yahoo Group re the current SOW: Stuart was named Outstanding performer of the week of February 5th, '07. It's in the March 6th issue, which is on sale now. It has a very nice pic of him, and a pic of him and NL inset. And... on page 6, it says the plan to keep Stuart Damon. It says that his contract does not expire until August, so Tracy won't be the only Quartermaine visited by the much missed Alan. Hooked, I couldn't agree more. Tracy has been in full-gear Mama Bear mode ever since this began--she knew Dillon was safe, but her other "cub" was in danger. (Not to mention Uncle Bear, who we really just...sigh...sniff....) Anyway, she started with The Stooges going into protective mode. They are inappropriate. They are idiotic. They are annoying. In Tracy's mind, however, Scotty is not just innappropriate, idiotic, and annoying. He is dangerous. It's one thing for him to show up at the MetroCourt and piss off Luke. It's a totally different thing for him to slither into a hospital room with a drugged, mostly-naive teenage girl and start his crap. Tracy knows darned well what Scott Baldwin is capable of--the insidiousness, the charm, the cruelty. She's seen it first, second, and third hand. And she's not stupid enough to think that Scott would let a little thing like Lulu being young and injured get in the way of using her to hurt Luke. Now, don't get me wrong. I love the character of Scotty Baldwin. But I'm not in denial about him. Scott can be downright abusive to people he claims to care about--his treatment of Lucy Coe was very hard to watch, even when they were supposedly a couple. He berated her, called her dumb, and was pretty much a total jerk to her. (Yeah, she was no angel, but that doesn't make his actions any less abusive.) IMHO, he has this dark, dangerous undertone to him that he hides with humor and snarky comments. But it sets me on edge, and I love that Tracy is smart enough and caring enough to try to protect Lulu from it. Not that Lulu is going to have sense enough to listen...

Oh, Lainey, you have to download the Paul clip. It's painful to watch, but perhaps the BEST I've ever seen JE as Tracy. Simply hands-down the BEST. I'm seriously. I was riveted....just amazing. Of course, PS is just staring blankly and saying I'm sorry, please divorce me, and it's just...oooh...sooooo delicious....... I wish I had been watching it back then, because I woulda been JUMPING UP AND DOWN in my living room, instead of just bouncing up and donw in the computer chair!

LMAO! I thought the same thing! And OMG, Lady Ashton! I didn't see the last pages of posts before I made my icon post or I would have said SQUEE about your clips. Honestly, my hands are shaking trying to get them downloaded, I'm that excited.... And MsQ, you are one scary wench. Cracking me up with those manips. You have waaaaayyy too much time on your hands. EDIT: ZOMG!!!!!!!!! I just saw the clips from Lady Ashton. The scene where she finds out about Paul had me literally on the edge of my seat. OMGOMGOMGOMG! More, LA. MORE. Please, please, please...... Jane. Elliot. ROCKS THE UNIVERSE. I want Paul Hornsby to come back so she can yell at him some more....! OMG.

Hey, gang. I uploaded some icons to Photobucket today--nothing new, but I just wanted people to know that they are free to use them if they'd like. Tracy-Specific LuNacy (mainly the "I'm Not That Girl" icons) Team Tracy Episode Specific: Edward Fakes a Heart Attack After the PC Hotel Fire Other JE Characters Just Jane

Added another morbid little piece to 100 Situations. Tracy plans a long-term revenge against one of Alan's enemeies. Strategy. ETA: According to SZ's Live Post, she's on today--emotional scenes with Alan and at least one scene with Scott Baldwin.

Jeezhes, MsQ! Even your subconscious mind can't let go of those dang heart pills...

Magic, I don't know if I said welcome back. My condolences to your family about your puppy. I have a cat I adore, and I know how horrible I'd feel if anything happened to him. It's a horrible thing to come back to, and I hope you're doing okay. knh, I haven't seen many of the Paul-era scenes except indirectly on the Lucy/Scott edit tape (I saw scenes of the reception, Tracy supporting Ned over Paul as CEO of ELQ, and Bobbie laughing when she found out Tracy was pregnant with Dillon). But from everything I've read, it was a really dark time for Tracy. I'm glad Ned at least started out defending his mom, although at the end, I think she'd done too much for him to forgive. (Funny how everybody else on that show can commit murder, figuratively and literally, and still be beloved, but Tracy pays for EVERYTHING forever.) Maybe it's the actor, and maybe it's watching too much Spencer Truman on OLTL, but Paul seemed so cold and aloof in the scenes I watched. Even those "meaningful glances" with Jenny at the wedding (*KICK*) seemed hollow. You guys were talking in the chats about how hot Paul and Tracy were together, but I haven't seen enough of them to see it. I just know from canon and from the look on Tracy's face every time she or someone else mention's Paul's name that she loved him intensely. Did I mention Dillon is annoying the hell out of me? He is so completely acting like his father and not his mother. Amoral, self-entitled, annoying little b@stard boy. Tracy must be so ashamed of him right now. Oh, and may I please SMACK all these people who criticize Tracy as being a bad mother? I'm loving so much how worried she is about The Stooges. It's so Tracy--her maternal instinct kicks in the minute a relationship is even possible for one of her kids. And guess what, Lulu? Look at Ned and Dillon for a minute. No man you ever date will be worthy of you, as far as Tracy is concerned. She's the protective Papa, not Luke. I want to hug Mama Bear right now, even though I think Papa Bear is correct in saying they need to back off. Lulu is just oppositional enough to start dating all three just to show Tracy she can't keep her from dating any of them. Although I am annoyed at how all this Stooge business is keeping Tracy away from Alan in the last few hours of his...*sigh* But that proves my personal theory that Tracy is in complete denial about Alan's condition. She is convinced, methinks, that Big Brother is not going to die. Otherwise, she'd be ripping herself in two going from Lulu's room to Alan's room, trying to be in two places at once. But because she is pretty sure that Alan is going to be okay, she's focusing on protecting Lulu from the Trio of Unsuitable Suitors. Not looking forward to what happens next week....

She's not greedy. She's misguided, thinks money is love, thinks Alan's money will make her happy. She needs to have mad passionate Monkey Sex with her hubby, because you know Alan left everything to his sister and her husband. That's the story, I'm sticking with it....