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Yes it was, if I recall right her last name is Lee and her first is something rather unusual. I can't remember exactly, but years ago I remember seeing in the original 1989 Christmas closing credits an Yod remember thinking how strange, same as the Hey You character LOL. The other Lynn Michaels recast was Beth McDonald in the late 90s.

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two-and-a-half years of my life have been filled with a series of my emotional happenings that don't usually happen to a person in such rapid succession. My father, to whom I was very close, passed away; I was separated and divorced; I got the part of Leslie Bauer on The Guiding Light, then I left The Guiding Light. I was concerned about reorganizing my life so that Jonathan would feel secure and loved during all this turmoil, and also looking for work. During that period our lives were filled with a lot of negative things and yet I know I grew up faster during that period than at any other point in my life," Barbara said.

Most people would be on pills or something. I thought to myself, or worse yet, many would have just broken under so much emotional strain in such a short period of time. Barbara looked calm and her voice was that of a woman that was sure and in control of herself.

"I try very hard to live the moment instead of looking at everything all at once which only leads to panic, depression and a negative way of thinking. Really, when you think about it, everything is temporary. Life itself can be taken away in a moment, and no one has control over their life. When we are riding high we feel great, but more importantly is how we handle the crisis periods. Coming to terms with what life was all about wasn't easy for me, but my strong feeling for the need to be balanced inside - regardless of what happens - helped enormously!

"I have heard about people who go through these divorces and come to the end of a relationship with another person saying 'I hate him - or I hate her,' This is inconceivable to me...If you love a man when you get married, and you conceive a child together then it is incomprehensible to me to come to a point where you are able to say that hate that person. Jonathan sees his Daddy regularly, and I still would help him, and I'm sure he is still my friend. I know we both hurt each other a great deal, however, if you understand your own limitations then you are more easily able to understand another person's limitations. It doesn't mean that I was right or he was wrong - our marriage is over - but we both have Jonathan. He is a healthy happy little boy and we want him to grow up knowing that we both love him. At this time our child needs to be nourished and he needs this nourishment from his mommy and daddy.

This phase of Barbara's life is over, it has run its course, but how has it affected her feelings about marriage as an institution? "Oh I strongly believe in marriage, Barbara said. I'm sure I'll get married again someday. I am a very romantic and sentimental person."

Barbara told me that the day before our interview she and Jonathan were sitting in the kitchen of their N.Y. apartment together and he asked Barbara if she was happy. Barbara explained to him that being happy is something a person must do for himself, you can't depend on others to make you happy. "Only you can make yourself happy...you can walk around with a frown or you can smile and have a good feeling toward life. Nobody can do that for you, not Mommy, fame, money nor beauty. You have a key inside and you control that key."

What a beautifully realistic way to look at life, I thought to myself. I told Barbara that I felt that Jonathan was a very lucky little boy to have her for a mother. "I'm lucky to have him too," she said. "There were many times when Jonathan gave me strength. I was very upset one day when all kinds of things were happening and I remember him saying 'Mommy don't be sad...be happy.' It is really something to realize that a three-year-old can bring you out of your self-pity. I realized then that I was causing him pain - and I hugged him - and said thank you God for this child.

"Then I started thinking - when you get right down to it, what can I give my child? I can leave him money when I die...if there is any left, but what I feel my father left me is something we can't even put into words. It is learning to keep your head up. It is living life as a decent human being. It is learning the importance of fulfilling your responsibilities to yourself and to others. If I can instill those feelings in my son I'll be happy and proud."

When we finished talking I knew that this was just a small sampling of what Barbara Rodell is all about. She is a very personal young woman and talking about her inner-most feelings isn't easy for her. "The thought of interviews and bearing one's soul to the public eye has always been difficult for me," she said. "It is something I wish weren't necessary, but it is expected of entertainers and I've tried to cooperate." Because Barbara did discuss her personal feelings about an extremely sensitive period of her life we say thank you, and we wish Barbara much success as Joyce Colman and as the mother of Jonathan, and for Barbara herself.

- MELISSA GOLDSMITH

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Wow, that episode is not half-assed at all. It is meticulously plotted, even to the point of being annoying and obsessive compulsive. One of the things I miss is the way Marland made great use of the Greek Chorus. I love how gossipy and bitchy everyone is when Brock's father shows up at the restaurant. And people talking about things that have nothing to do with the plot of this episode makes everything so much more real.

Nowadays too many people find things out off screen and the writers lose track of who knows what; I think a lot is lost not focusing on the slow dissemination of information throughout town.

I know people have said positive things about this Lily but she is WAY too cold with none of Martha Byrne's wounded vulnerability.

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A big part of Lily's story at this time was that she was cold and hard. Later they made her more like the old Lily.

One of the parts of ATWT I missed most in later years was when we stopped seeing everyone find out about the key details. Someone clearly decided this was boring, but what the hell else are you going to do with 45 minutes of airtime 5 days a week?

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There were some boring parts in that episode -- there are WAY too many minor characters who could be cut or combined. But to me everyone gossiping about every single minute detail is awesome, not boring, even though Marland relied on this trope excessively.

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There were a few extraneous characters (like the Lombard inner circle, which could have been one character), but I thought most of them had a place. My only real complaint was that the news woman Tonio hired, who was clearly supposed to be witty, passionate, vibrant, was a dullard. But, as Mitch has said before, this was a recurring issue on ATWT at this time (remember that boring doctor, Taylor, who made a play for Tom a few years earlier?).

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I don't. It was a long time ago and I was a kid then. Seeing as how I didn't remember Emily's son and that was like 5 years ago it doesn't surprise me that I don't remember what you describe as a dud though. Do you know of any clips of Heather Rattray after they made Lily less of a cold fish?

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Ultimately, it's subjective, so if you already think of her as very cold in the role, you may always feel that way. Oakdalian has a lot of clips of 1992 ATWT, her last year in the role - you may want to watch some of that.

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