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Brenda Dickson Does It Again!


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This is so sad. She was fantastic during her day. (I always loved it when she worn Dynasty-like evening gowns to the OFFICE when she was "working" at Jabot.) The camp value was incredibly high. It's tragic to see her this way. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. (Her story would make a great Lifetime movie though!)

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As a very, VERY longtime Y&R viewer, there will never be a better Jill Foster Abbott than Brenda Dickson. Whatever was going on behind-the-scenes at CBS is neither here nor there-- her slightly over-the-top performances were solid gold-- she is and always will be the definitive Jill. Which isn't to say Jess Walton isn't a fine actress. But if you understand the character-- the woman who "came from nothing", who worked as Kay Chancellor's "paid companion", who scratched and schemed to rise above her "station", who always remained incredibly vulnerable no matter how expensive her wardrobe or who she was sleeping with-- that was Brenda Dickson's Jill. She was magnificent and I wish her the best.

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One of the reasons my avatar is what it is right now is as a reminder of how Brenda started...like Jill (I believe...because Dickson admitted she was basically just playing herself)...a little bit fresh, a little bit wide-eyed, aware of sensuality, but fundamentally still happy to be rising up.

At some point, Brenda's narcissistic leanings ramped up, and the "streetfighter in silk" (as she characterized her 80s Jill) began to believe in her own invincibility. She clearly acted-the-spoiled-diva, and lost her job for it.

What happened next is that interesting choice point that we all face, in one way or another. She could have looked at herself and said "My behavior brought this about. I must change it...become less about me...in order to have success in the future". Instead, like many with narcissistic personality disorder, she did it the other way. "I was wronged. They hurt me. I was blameless."

Here is where the next step happened for her. She lost her grip on reality. (I'm not sure when, but I suspect long ago). Personality disorders CAN be a slow slope into something more serious, and so it is with Brenda. In her case, that rambling and nonsensical note tells the tale of a woman who know longer knows the facts, and who has become widely paranoid. It is a logical exacerbation of her narcissistic roots. Sadly, now, she is utterly alone...and unless she gets mental health help...she is going to spiral down and down.

Personally, I keep looking at young Brenda, and thinking of all her potential...and it just makes me sad for her. I hope someone can intervene. My experience suggests, though, that persons at this level of paranoia are usually most resistant to help. They really dont' get any until they become a serious threat to themselves or others.

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