Megan McCracken (Nancy #2/1978) is a fitness instructor in Florida.

Megan McCracken's Super Seniors

Megan McCracken (Nancy #2/1978) is a fitness instructor in Florida.

Megan McCracken's Super Seniors

She's scary.

She's trying to act up a little too much. She does have some presence, and she was OK on RH, but I don't know whether she was ever recognized everywhere she went.

I guess her soap experience helps explain why the opening of her video looks like the opening of AW circa 1985

Why Michael Hawkins Got The Shaft!

Daily TV Serials - January 1977

He's no longer Frank Ryan on Ryan's Hope. But the painful tale he tells is one that illuminates the hazardous road that soap opera perfomers often tread - even though in his case, there may be light at the end of his journey.

By James M. Elrod

Every once in a great while, an interviewer is blessed with the opportunity to talk with someone who not only has strong feelings, but also the intelligence and courage to express them in an articulate manner.

The following interview with Michael Hawkins, who created the role of Frank Ryan on Ryan's Hope, took place some time ago -- before Andy Robinson inherited the part. Nevetheless, some of the subjects we talked about may explain the problems Michael faced and also exposed the agony and the ecstasy of an actor who poured his heart and soul into his work.

The conversation begins with a little background information.

"My father was a doctor -- very much inspired by Albert Schweitzer. He decided that he wanted to do very much the same sort of thing -- going to countries and treating people who couldn't afford medical care. He went to the east, to Afghanistan, which is where I was born," Michael related.

"Later, we went to Burma and China and then came back here when I was fourteen. My father died soon after, having fulfilled what he wanted to do."

Since Michael had never been to America before the age of fourteen, what sort of impression did he have of the Untied States?

"The sense I had was like a Walt Disney impression of what the United States was.

I expected it to be a fairyland of some kind, and was shocked to find it had grass,trees, buildings, and people just like everywhere else. It gave me the inpresssion that all the world is alike in many ways -- that there is nothing new under the sun."

"But, there is still this purity about my feelings toward the United States that I don't think many people have. There is this feeling of having a crystal that is very precious. I didn't grow up in the generation that threw rocks. But, I consider myself totally apolitical." Michael paused for emphasis then continued, "This is just a wonderful place to live and beats anything else the rest of the world has to offer."

How did Michael come to think of acting and the theater as a career?

"It was just the only place I felt at home. Performing was the only tme I felt alive to the fullest. I went to Carnegie Tech in Pittsburgh, spent four years there, graduated, had a couple of season of stock, and then went to Stratford, Connecticut (for the Shakespeare company there). I came to New York, studied with Stanford Meisner and Lee Strasberg, and then went to the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, where as a matter fo fact, I met Michael Levin (now Jack Fenelli on Ryan's Hope). Then I got back to New York, where I did some off Broadway, including Macbeth with James Earl Jones. It was the Mobil touring production that Joe Papp did. We took it to all the boroughs of New York."

"And then I got the soap thing."

Something in Michael's' tone of voice told me that the real interview was just about to begin.

"Soap opera was a completey new thing for me. Doing a show a day -- when you've been used to rehearsing a month for a show you do in the evenings -- it is quite a change. It's taken me six years and as many shows to really get a handle on what I am doing. Some people pick up soap acting just like that," he said, snapping his finger for emphasis, "but not me. I've been on six of them, and I've been ignominiously fired from many. Practically all of them!"

"I was fired from Love Is a Many Spendored Thing, the last one I did before Ryan's Hope. It fell apart about 3 months after I left. But I took over from David Birney, which right away is a tough situation. David was a very good, popular star, who was identified with the part. And it's always tough to repalce someone like that. Then, up until the last week I was on the show (and I was on it for a year and a half) the directors were still calling me David."

"They just kept thinking and hoping it was David that was playing it and not me. So, pyschologically, it wasnt right. It wasn't home. I was still learning."

"There is so much pressure on the soaps, so much depends on you. It's on a smaller scale than nightime, and it's a step toward nighttime, a step an actor is wise to take, I think. It gives you a chance to learn about working with the camera, hitting you mark, and all that."

Mchael grinned, "I did one film called Truckin' Man, It was shown around last winter. And it's the kind of a film that you talk back to. It's so corny and so bad and so thrid rate that you start sayiing things like, 'Oh, so you're not going to say that, are you?"

"The film is really not ever worth mentioning except that, at the time, I wanted to do a film and to see what I looked like on the screen. And I looked good, but I was two years away from doing what I'm doing now on Ryan's Hope. Now, I'm doing work, which for the first time, I'm extemely proud of."

By the this time, I felt Michael was someone not afraid to talk about his probelms with Ryan's Hope.

"My fortunes on that show have been incredible," he admitted. "The character waa originally concieved to be killed after ten weeks -- to die from being pushed down the stairs by his wife. But the scenes that I did -- the flashback scenes of what I was like before I was pushed -- were so good and they ( the creators and producers) were so excited that they completely changed their concept and kept the character alive. Killing the character -- the hero -- was to be a publicity move to gain attention to the new show. They practically had the funeral for Frank and then brought him back to life."

"In the meantime, I happened to be in Sherlock Holmes on Broadway. Dennis Cooney (Jay Stallings on As the World Turns) was playing Dr. Watson, and I was understudying him. Then, when ATWT became an hour-long show, Dennis had to leave Sherlock Homles about three months before it ended. I had already done this how about thirty or forty times, because Dennis would be too tired after doing World Turns. Doing a soap opera and Broadway play at the same time is murder! Even Dennis Cooney was having problems and Dennis was, at that point, I think, far more on top of his soap opera acting than I was. Again, I had been at it for six years, but I didn't quite have it. I couldn't get the key to it."

"Anyway, since they changed the entire concept of the show to accommadate the fact that Frank Ryan was going to live, they got behind in their writing. I need at least five good days with the script to feel comfortable with it, and I was getting my script about a day in advanced with three or four scenes in them. All of sudden, Frank began to talk his head off. So, the pressure of doing Dr. Watson at night, and coming in and doing the show the next day wore at me until Wap! There was no way I could learn those scripts and do both."

"I started reading the whole show -- three or four times a week -- off the prompter. It was lousy, and they fired me when the thirteen week cycle came up. They went on a nation-wide search for a replacement for me. After turning up nothing in New York, they went out to Hollywood and came back with six guys on tape."

"In the meantime, I had quit Sherlock Holmes. And they finally heard about my needing the scripts in advanced. This was last November (of 1975). Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I had the next weeks scripts, I came back Monday and it was dynamite. And I continued to do good work. Then the day before Christmas, they called my agent and said, 'We hear from the directors that Micahel has been doing marvelous work." The reports about me were so sterling, that my agent told them they should pay me more! And they did!"

"And so, I began doing the show without a contract and making about seventy-five dollars more per show than I had been earing originially, when I had the contract."

"This went on for about six months.They kind of backed off on Frank a bit, and I could relax some. And then, all of a sudden, they decided to bank everything they had on making the show a hit, and they laid it all on Frank Ryan. He would be the central charaacter and would be on five days a week."

"So I said,'Pay me more again. If you're going to bank the whole show on me, pay me for it.' And they did, but I still don't have a contract."

"Then, to cover themselves, they started auditioning more Frank Ryans right under my nose. Every day, there would be three or four guys who were the mirror images of me, up there reading a script with 'Frank Ryan' on it."

"But now I am at the top of my form. You know when I told you that I was searching for a key -- for something that worked and was right? Well, I've finally found it." Michael said quietly, "I finally found it. And just in time," he laughed.

Looking back on it now, it's no laughing matter that it obviously wasn't enough time.

"Prompted by the appearance of Michael's seven year old son, Christian, the conversation briefly turned to his family. Michael's been married for eight years to Mary Jo Slater, but they are currently separated. Christain is an only child, and if Michael has his way, will remain so.

"I had younger brothers myself. When I was about five, I was rather shocked that my parents would think of having more after I was there. I certainly thought I was enough. I was 'put out' by this-- and I think I have been ever since. This feeling is a fascinating thing, though. There is also the feeling that it's bascially the same situation with these guys auditioning for a part. What are they doing wanting to be in the same family!"

Back to the subject of not working under contract, Michael said, "That piece of paper means exactly nothing They could fire you at any time. I've been fired before from a show that owed me thousands of dollars. They got out of it, because they claimed I was a 'menace' to the show. I don't want a contract. They pay me to go in and do a job. Everybody knows that when your moment comes, you go -- either way."

Prophetic, it turned out, but didn't this lack of confidence in Michael make him angry?

"Well, healthily angry. You see, I know I can do it, but they don't know I can do it. I have total confidence that I can make the show a hit and can make Frank Ryan very important, but they're still not sure. To be fair, I have taken my time getting my act together. And my act has includes many people, including my psychiatrist, who is a very important part of my life. He is the most exciting man I have ever met. He has helped me tremendously to clarify my ideas and to get myself together."

Of course, if I hadn't fallen completely a part two years ago, and hit rock bottom, I would have never been able to gather the people around me that I needed in order to reconstruture and to go in another whole direction."

Does it bother Michael to talk about that period of his life?

"No, I don't have any qualms about talking about it. You can call it whatever you like -- a nervous breakdown, or hopitalization, or whatever. Let's face it, I had a marvelous couple of months in New York University Hospital," Michael stated with an ironic half-smile, " sitting around and thinking about the way things were. I was fortunate to have a good psychiatrist."

"But now you saw people like Gary Moore and Dick Van D-yke coming out about alcoholism. Joshua Logan has let it be known that he uses lithium to control manic-depressive cycles. These things exists. And when you deal with this sort of emotional environment and with the pressure that an actor deals with, there are all sorts of ways to screw up. And I've done 'em all. It's all a matter of going back to the drawing board and starting over again. So, you've failed. I've failed many times more, but I'm not ashamed of any of them. Each failure has given me new insights into how to succeed."

"The whole point is when I succeed, I want people to know that, in the process, I have failed before, too."

I sat there a minute absolutely astounded at Michael's calm courage and honesty about a part of his life that many people never deal with.

Weeks later, I was to be reminded of that courage when I heard that a new Frank Ryan had been cast, and that Michael was 'out'. I approached the call to Micahel with trepidation because I knew how important the role of Frank Ryan was to him -- as you, the reader, must know from the proceeding statements.

Michael's voice was light-hearted. He said he still only had the warmest feelings toward everyione involved with Ryan's Hope and emphasized that it was his decision to leave.

He had talked with the producers months earlier about his desire to finish up his assignment, sometime in November. So, things worked out because that was when Andy Robinson took over.

Michael did stress however that he had become disenchanted with the character of Frank since I had interviewed him. Frank had suddenly lost most everything he valued in the world. In Michael's view, Frank was becoming depressingly close to being a loser and there wasn't much temptation for him to continue playing Frank.

Coincidentally, the new Frank, Andy Robinson, is an old friend. Andy played Bobby Kennedy to Michael's JFK years ago in the Broadway play MacBird. In fact, before Michael had married Mary Jo, Andy had been one of her suitors. But she chose Michael, even though there seems to be some difficutlies in the marriage now that may not be resolved.

As for the future, Michael is working on a nightclub act that hopefully will showcase his singing and comedic talents. He also wants to return to classical stage acting, and expects to journey soon to Hollywood for a film and nighttime TV career.

Michael has left a impressive memory on every viewer of Ryan's Hope. He's not afraid of facing the future, and in spite, of all the downs and pitfalls, Michael has always come through and risen above them. In his own words, "Every failure has given me new insight into how to succeed."

And he will!

Thanks for typing that out. It's more insight into what was going on at that time. Honestly they should have recast Frank as soon as they decided to keep Frank around, but then, I guess it didn't hurt ratings or anything, so perhaps I'm wrong. I just think he killed a lot of what the Frank/Jill/Delia story was supposed to be.

Just caught up with that interview. Always interesting to read that behind the scenes stuff. For whatever reason Michael Hawkins comes across as a little flakey. I remember some years later SOD reported he was now using the name Michael Gainsborough and was attempting to relaunch his career.

He is now 75 years old and Wikipedia says he became a composer.

I wonder what his relationship is like with his son.

From the May 1981 Rona Barrett's Daytimers (Laufer Publishing Company).

Ilene Kristen interview from August 3, 1982 Digest (Network Publishing Corporation).

Edited December 15, 201014 yr by CarlD2

May 1976 TV Dawn to Dusk (Ideal Publishing Corp)

complicated his life, he slowly came to the painful realization he could not go through life avoiding work. Psychotherapy helped Michael commit himself to hard work and aim for success, by forcing him to deal with his deep-seated fear of failure. If there is no sense of commitment, there can be no sense of failure, and it was failure Michael feared most. Gradually freed of his crippling insecurities, he was finally free to pursue the American Dream.

"Hard work is the key," says Michael today. "The good kinds throughout history were the ones who worked hard at whatever it was kings had to do. Even among men who owned slaves, the ones who worked the hardest themselves at overseeing their operations were the most successful. I'll bet you sooner or later there will be a statistic which proves longevity is connected doing. And 'doing' involves achieving, and achievement takes drive and ambition. When I was younger I fooled around and didn't put any effort in my work, but I finally realized that was a great mistake. I wasted a lot of time, and my life brought me little satisfaction. Today, what freedom means to me is being able to choose exactly what I want to do as an actor from among many options. I once wanted to be a movie star; now I want to be a serious actor."

Michael decided acting would be a snap in between his junior and senior years at the University of Minnesota. He had never acted a line before because he was a joke, and jocks regarded acting as "sissy stuff." But when he started dozing off in his journalism and advertising courses, acting was the only thing he could think of which wouldn't be too taxing a replacement. After graduation he headed for Hollywood, naturally. He even managed to line u pa screen test. But he flunked the test, and went on a three-day drinking binge. After a few not-very-productive months, Michael headed East to try his luck on another coast. He did some summer stock, but then there was nothing. For days he sat in a dreary apartment in a dreadful neighborhood and was unable to summon up the nerve to make rounds, like most actors do. Michael, however, had convinced himself he simply didn't know how to go about doing it.

So off to the relative security of the graduate theatre division at the University of Minnesota he went. But this move, based more on fear than a healthy desire to grow as an actor, turned out to be just the thing to get Michael on the right track. There, he finally did become serious about his craft. Furthermore, two seasons with the Tyrone Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis after he complete his graduate work helped to make him genuinely excited about his chosen profession.

Today Michael can boast many distinguished acting credits, including the Broadway production of Royal Hunt of the Sun and productions at the highly respected Long Wharf, Stage West and Lincoln Center theatres. Of course, he can also be exceptionally proud of his work on Ryan's Hope, portraying the investigative reporter Jack Finelli. Michael wouldn't trade his success for anything - and he wants to be even more successful - but the striking irony of his life is that he has never really felt comfortable as an actor. "I love creating a character, but I don't like performing very much," he reflects. "I love applause, but I've always found there's too much pain mixed in with the pleasure of getting out there and performing. I know many actors who are much worse than me. They literally throw up before performances. But I still get quite nervous, which can be very unpleasant.

"If there was something else I could do, I'd do it...but there isn't. I think it's very important to be independent and have a considerable measure of control over your life, and I would say there must be thousands of easier and more satisfying ways to have a chance at that than acting. It can be a rotten life. I mean, maybe one actor in a thousand earns a living in the field of performing. I have a job right now that most actors would die for - but so what? I might not have it in two months. It's nonsense to have to live this way. I've made the commitment to it, but I can't honestly say it's been a matter of chance. I don't say, 'oh, isn't this wonderful.' This is who I am now, and where I'm at, so I"m just gonna do the best I can."

For himself and for those he loves.

In that beautiful home in Scarsdale, Michael lives with his wife Elizabeth, their 10-year-old son Erin, and 15-year-old Scott, Elizabeth's son from a former marriage. Michael also has a 13-year-old son living with his ex-wife in California. If Michael's popularity and reputation as an actor continues to grow, some day Elizabeth may be able to devote more of her time to playwriting. (They met at the Guthrie Theatre when one of her plays was being produced there) She was the one to be counted on to provide a steady, though modest, income, thanks to her job teaching arts and crafts in a special education program. It's been her emotional support, however, that Michael has most valued and appreciated.

He'd be the first to admit actors aren't the easiest people to be married to, but Elizabeth has never wavered in her support - no mater how dismal the situation looked. And it's looked mighty dismal at times. Once, after a particularly frustrating stretch, Michael did decide to give up acting. For three years he taught emotionally disturbed children, but when he decided to give acting another try, Elizabeth offered nothing but encouragement. No doubt, Michael looks forward to the day when he's successful enough to turn to his wife and say, "Now it's your turn...and thank you."

And whether Michael and Elizabeth will realize it or not, he might never have done it without her.

- Linda Rosenbaum

Nancy Barrett Met The Right Man At The Wrong Time

But The Story Has A Happy Ending Anyway!

TV Dawn To Dusk- April 1977

Animatedly perched atop the well-suffed sofa cushions in the huge living room of her East Side Manhattan apartment, Nancy Barrett, the lovely actress who has been in Dark Shadows, One Life To Live, and Ryan's Hope declareded: I've just about decided everything in life is timing! Her blue-grey eyes sparkling, her shiny blond hair fanning out over her pale shoulders, she resembled a John Tenniel drawing of Alice in Wonderland. And her voice held the wonderment to match the picture as she said, "I'm happier now than I have ever been in my life."

"I'm happy in my relationship with my fiancé. I can't believe how well things have worked out. And it was all a question of timing. When Harold and I originally met six years ago, we weren't the least bit interested in each other. Some mutual friends introduced us, but neither of us was impressed with the other because at the time we were both romantically involved elsewhere."

"Then, two years later, when the same mutual friends invited me to a party at Harold's apartment, I said, 'Please - no matchmaking, we've already been through that and it didn't pan out.' 'Oh, come along to the party, anyway', they said, 'There'll be lots of people there. You don't have to pair off with anyone.'

"But that time Harold and I did pair off. We hit it off imediately. The chemistry was perfect - so perfect it worried me. During the party, on a Saturday night, he asked me out to dinner that Monday. I was playing slightly aloof and asked him to call me on Monday to check it. On Monday, a dozen roses arrived and Harold called. We did go out to dinner - and we've gone out to a lot of dinners since then."

Nancy and Harold (whose last name she'd rather not disclose since he's one of New York's top psychiatrists and she wants to guard his privacy) have been formally engaged for a year. But no wedding date has been set - and Nancy is not pressing for one.

"Everything is perfect now," she said. " I'm afraid to tempt fate. We'll probably get married in time. But there's no hurry. I feel very secure in the relationship - and I don't really feel pressured because I don't want children."

When Harold and I started to see each other four years ago, I decided I didn't want to leave town to work in regional theater - or go to the Coast to try for a TV series. I wanted the relationship to remain constant."

"I wasn't doing a soap and I felt I needed to work at something. I've always been interested in the sciences and Harold and I had just aquired three new doctor friends. One of them was a woman who had gone back to school to get her medical degree after she had two children. That gave me the idea - about going back to school, not about having children!"

"I have a B.A. in Theater Arts from U.C.L.A., I enrolled for night courses in Hunter College to finish my pre-med requirements in organic chemistry, to become a psychiatrist, you know, you have to become an M.D. first. Just working nights, the whole thing would have taken me 7 or 8 years. But it seemed like an interesting and logical thing to do. Even if I never went beyond any medical degree, I could always work as a doctor. And my work is very important to me."

"I must admit, my first love is acting so when I was offered a role on One Life To Live, I stopped the pre-med courses. I never went back to them. But maybe someday, I'll start again."

Ryan's Hope was Nancy's fifth serial in the past decade. Now that her first, the Gothic chiller, Dark Shadows, (on which she played the resident ingenue for five years) is back in syndication, she was seen on two sudsers simultaneously in some parts of the country.

Between Hope and Shadows, the actress had roles on Somerset, The Doctors, and One Life To Live. She also appeared on Chapter 12 of The Adams Chronicles.

"I know some of the people who were on Dark Shadows feel nothing will ever compare to it, but quite frankly, I was much happier on Ryan's Hope, " Nancy confessed.

"I've always had ambivilant feelings about Dark Shadows. It was too ambitious. When it was good, it was brilliant. But we had some real disaster days when everything went bad - from costumes to hair to lines to sets. Too much was required in a medium where getting shows on quickly is of the essence. It was too involved technically and too exhausitng physically. Too much was asked of people - technicians, writers, actors, and everyone for a half-hour show, If it had been about 25% less ambitious, it could have been great. And it might still be on the air."

Nancy was one of the few DS cast members who was prominently featured in the two films based on the serial. House Of Dark Shadows and Night Of Dark Shadows. And both pictures have been exhibited around the world, dubbed into appropriate languages.

"My friend Ralph Douglas (he's the floor maganger for Another World) was down in Puerto Rico and he saw House Of Dark Shadows advertised at a theater so he went in to see it. He'd never seen it before. When he heard this fluent Spanish coming out fo my mouth, he laughed so hard they threw him out of the theater!"

Nancy does have faithful fans! And fiancé Harold is one of them.

"He loved to watch me on Ryan's Hope and tried to schedule his patients so he could see the days I was on. He gets a big kick out of my career. So do I. But it's not all-important to me. It never has been. I never wanted to be a star.

"He's fantastic - a very warm, loving person - and the eternal optimist in every arena. He never looks at the dark side. There's no problem that can't be solved. I'm very emotional and I used to cry and scream and carry on at the slightest provocation. I still cry and scream and carry on but not like I did. I'm more selective. It takes too much energy. And I don't have any reason to make noise anymore. Sometimes I do it just for fun. I get it out of my system and it makes me feel just wonderful. But of course everyone around me gets very depressed. Eveybody but Harold. He's very understanding - and a real Rock of Gibraltar."

We suspect Nancy and Harold will be saying their "I do's" before long. Let's face it - when you're a high-strung young woman like the most charming and talented Miss Barrett, it's nice to have a psychiatrist around the house!

Bernice Thall

Thanks for posting this, I'm sure it took a lot of work.

I can see where DS was a tough slog but it's tough to imagine RH being better, but then I guess it depends on her perspective. Did she know she was only there for the short term?

Thanks for posting this, I'm sure it took a lot of work.

No, I'm just copying them after they are put up at the Soapnet forum.

Did she know she was only there for the short term?

From what others have said - no, she didn't know. I don't think the show knew, either.

She was announced in the magazines and newspapers as the NuFaith. Nancy said her depature was 'mutual', but apparently it was the shows decision.

Do you know if she ever became a psychiatrist?