I think there is a lot more to it then this explanation.

Before I go on I want to note that I have no idea what this particular incident was about and never read any of it. Having said that, it seems to be just one more example of a pattern that has developed at this once interesting board. Over the past few months I have noticed a significant decline in the quality of postings, the level of respect (for posters and soaps in general) and logical arguments combined with an increase in pure biases, unwaivering commitment to a certain idea/actor/show/story that borders on crazy and unrivaled hostility towards each other. It witness it on the OT boards, Primetime, DTS and spoilers sections. It has made this a very unpleasent board to post on and, worse, reflects very poorly on all soap fans.

I understand and support the idea of defending one's own opinion and favourite fanbase. But this is a general soap board and not a pissing contest. It shouldn't be the loudest most aggressive voice is the correct voice but a discussion of all things soaps. So while I personally try to avoid the hot-button issues it makes it difficult for long time posters like me to contribute or have a meaningful discussion wihtout it turning into all-out-war.

It may seem like I'm exaggerating here, and I am (only to a point), but I know it is safe to say... SON HAS DETERIORATED and it is unattractive. I'm not talking about any one poster or thread in particular because, well, there are just too many to remember.

Edited to add: I think it is incumbent upon every poster to show more restraint and respect. We should be using the "report" button more and replying less. We should also cool down on the craziness because crazy brings on more crazy. If you notice something outlandish feel free to reply but don't add fuel to the fire. This has more to do with respecting other posters/readers then the person who made the crazy comment in the first place. Also, the mods need to step-up their intervention but decrease their censorship, imo. I am not trying to prescribe a set of rules on anyone and I think that self restraint, warnings and more intervention are not only parts of the solution. While no one (especially me ior a mod) can tell you how to act or behave, especially on a webboard where your identities are guarded by the absence of true interpersonal relationships, the rest of the way can only be fixed through improved self-representation - and that is a personal choice.

-CSW

Very well put CSW.

And Bradeis as to the topic of being gay, I was talking about SON's regards to a person being gay or bisexual or whatever. You will not find anyone here who will disrespect you for your sexuality or any celebrity for their sexuality. I have been here now a little over a year and I have not seen that in any poster. Even those who are totally straight have never offended anyone who isn't. Not that I have seen anyone or made fun of anyone who is.

Now as to your comment about not being able to discuss someone's sexuality it goes with SON's goal to report only those things they can confirm and not to allow the bashing of an actor or a show. I respect that. For awhile around here it go bad in that people were reporting all kinds of rumors about folks and about the shows and it got hard for many to tell what was truth and what was fiction.

SON has always had a distinction of making sure their reports are verified and does not have the reputation of reporting false rumors or even a bunch of false spoilers that never come true.

So yes you are right we are not allowed to say outright a person is gay unless it has been verified. We can speculate and say possibly this person is but we need to say that we are speculating. To out someone that doesn't want to be outed yet is not something that SON wants to be a part of and I can respect them for that. It has nothing to do with any of them thinking that being Gay is wrong.

It's a SOAP board and things are bound to get heated. There is no going around that. Some people just go way overboard and become annoying IMHO. I don't get how some people can complain, when they just add to the drama. Instead of adding to the fuel, why not just ignore the post/poster? As for the "warn" feature, I like to think that this is a mature board and I should not have to use it.

But not everyone's mature, so it needs to be used. The SON I knew was a certain kind a board: free from the kind of posting you get on other boards that are fanbase crazy. That has never had a place at SON.

There is a difference between:

This news disappoints me. I wish that this, this and this had happened.

and

[!@#$%^&*] THIS SH!T!!

Who decides what an "insane rant" is? Every other poster who clicks the report button? Pretty soon we'll have people saying certain opnions are insane. Just today I made a comment suggesting certain soaps should be cancelled. Andre, after reading your comment I hope no one took it seriously.

Above all I believe we have to respect each other as real people here ( I know I'm not always good at that) and remember the rest is fiction, even the actors real lives are largely fiction. The real people here are us.

I'm inclined to agree.

Expressing dispapproval for the soap operas on air and wishing for its cancellation is not a precursor to a flame. It should not be. Some posters should not get so riled up by the mere suggestion. After all, our comments, varying as they may be can be debated without the next person declaring war and besieging others with hysteria.

Presumably, we're all grown up's. We can engage in discourse that doesn't amount to the censoring of other opinions for the simple matter that there is not a collective agreeance. If I feel like posting that _______ should be cancelled, that's my perrogative. It's not law or written in stone; others are free to dissent, but it shouldn't be barred because someone might take offense.

I always try to allocate the utmost respect for fello SONers. Even when I disagree with their perspectives, my inclination is not to put on the war paint. Unless it's taken to that level, but that's just a few bad apples spoiling the bunch and poisoing the atmosphere. At least Hogan made amends. He got caught up in the moment, but I haven't found it to be a repetitive practice with him.

Edited January 31, 200718 yr by Q Steph

IA, Dave. About the deterioration and quality.

Edited January 31, 200718 yr by King

I always make sure that if a heated debate does arise and I am involved somehow to say something like "we'll have to agree to disagree" or put up a smiley or something to almost say "No offense" or "everything is ok."

I think it's sometimes the tone of a comment that gets people riled up. Some comments come off as obnoxious or just give off a feel that there is sarcasm behind them. For instance, people that say something like 'I figured you would say that" and then put the rolls eyes icon after it. That is borderline rude IMO. I think tone is very important and word choice as well. My posts are often lengthy because I want to make sure that I make my point and discuss it in a way that doesn't make me come off as "I know I am right and your not." I always try to make sure that people know I think their opinions and views matter and that they are entitled to them, even if we disagree. Everyone is equal and I always make an effort to be as respectful as possible. Sometimes I will even PM a poster to make sure everything is cool.

I think the warning feature can only go so far. People should not try to instigate things just to cause a ruckus or because they are bored. People need to be mature about it. We all are passionate about our soaps, couples, etc. I love Days and everyone knows that I will always defend it no matter what. I will argue with others about it but it doesn't mean their opinion doesn't matter to me. Often times I see the other person's point because they layout what they say very well. Sometimes things turn heated because the person's point is vague or not explained clearly but I still make sure the person knows I am not belittling their view or opinion.

The simplest way to solve this problem is for people to think before they post. Think about what you say and the way you say it and what could start as a result. Tone and word choice can make a real difference. I think if posters do that and just remember that some are more sentimental then others or deal with things and react to things more differently then others, then I think everything will be fine.

Oh, and Hogan, it's ok. I understand and we all make mistakes. I hope things get better for you.

Thank you everyone for all your nice words, I'm much better today. You really have no idea how much it means to me.

I will argue with others about it but it doesn't mean their opinion doesn't matter to me. Often times I see the other person's point because they layout what they say very well. Sometimes things turn heated because the person's point is vague or not explained clearly but I still make sure the person knows I am not belittling their view or opinion

I wish I could be more like you PHOENIXRISING. Just to hotheaded, I guess.

I always make sure that if a heated debate does arise and I am involved somehow to say something like "we'll have to agree to disagree" or put up a smiley or something to almost say "No offense" or "everything is ok."

LMAO. You are SO me.

This is all about someone saying a soap should be cancelled?

This is all about someone saying a soap should be cancelled?

No it was not. I will not go into all the details but it was not about a soap being cancelled or anything like that.