To all those I offended...

[Andre]

Discussions nowadays are more likely to dissolve into terrible arguments than in the past — and I don't know why. So many new members joining and an increasing variety of opinion and personality types are the cause, I guess.

This is in general, not a reference to this "incident"...

There are some so willing to defend a sacred opinion to the bloody end without compromise. The rule of thumb should be: write a reply, and if you think you might regret it, wait a few minutes before posting. It helps. Sometimes you just toss it away because the heated first response isn't always the best (and is also usually the sharpest, cheapest shot availalbe).

[Q Steph]

So, that's what happened to the thread.

Don't beat yourself up, Hogan. You've never struck me as psychotic or an obsessed fan. I like reading your posts.

We all have out shortcomings. I struggle with my issues too (PTDS, mania, depression) , but it's gonna be ok. Maybe you should just clear your head and not let disctractions filter in. SON can be addictive, but it's always good to step back and reign in your emotions because sometimes there are posters who intentionally rile you, but they're not the true genesis of the anger. They just become the target and everything goes straight to hell because you've got to deal with the emotions once you log off.

I'm off my meds too. At the present moment, I have no desire to go back even though others would suggest otherwise. It's day to day. You'll pull through. I'm hoping you do.

[Brandeis]

Disagree unless you are saying better than any SOAP board and even then I'm not so sure. I just wish we could discuss gay rumors about soap stars here - it's not like being gay is bad, or is it according to some? (and yes it IS according to some, several here from what I've seen)

[Andre]

Yes, sexuality is something that doesn't like to be touched on. But I think it's more a matter of not wanting to out people if they don't want to be.

[King]

And I'm sorry, but it is something to do with the moderating of the boards too. I've emailed Errol about it. There are like 12 mods on staff, and I only ever see two of them in soap threads anymore.

And the warning feature seems to be rarely used.

[CSW]

I think there is a lot more to it then this explanation.

Before I go on I want to note that I have no idea what this particular incident was about and never read any of it. Having said that, it seems to be just one more example of a pattern that has developed at this once interesting board. Over the past few months I have noticed a significant decline in the quality of postings, the level of respect (for posters and soaps in general) and logical arguments combined with an increase in pure biases, unwaivering commitment to a certain idea/actor/show/story that borders on crazy and unrivaled hostility towards each other. It witness it on the OT boards, Primetime, DTS and spoilers sections. It has made this a very unpleasent board to post on and, worse, reflects very poorly on all soap fans.

I understand and support the idea of defending one's own opinion and favourite fanbase. But this is a general soap board and not a pissing contest. It shouldn't be the loudest most aggressive voice is the correct voice but a discussion of all things soaps. So while I personally try to avoid the hot-button issues it makes it difficult for long time posters like me to contribute or have a meaningful discussion wihtout it turning into all-out-war.

It may seem like I'm exaggerating here, and I am (only to a point), but I know it is safe to say... SON HAS DETERIORATED and it is unattractive. I'm not talking about any one poster or thread in particular because, well, there are just too many to remember.

Edited to add: I think it is incumbent upon every poster to show more restraint and respect. We should be using the "report" button more and replying less. We should also cool down on the craziness because crazy brings on more crazy. If you notice something outlandish feel free to reply but don't add fuel to the fire. This has more to do with respecting other posters/readers then the person who made the crazy comment in the first place. Also, the mods need to step-up their intervention but decrease their censorship, imo. I am not trying to prescribe a set of rules on anyone and I think that self restraint, warnings and more intervention are not only parts of the solution. While no one (especially me ior a mod) can tell you how to act or behave, especially on a webboard where your identities are guarded by the absence of true interpersonal relationships, the rest of the way can only be fixed through improved self-representation - and that is a personal choice.

-CSW

[Brandeis]

If there's been a decline in respect towards soaps, please don't blame us the viewers. AFAIC, TPTB deserve whatever disrespect thay get... and MORE!

[Andre]

You said it all. I came back to SON after a little less than a year away from soaps and found a terrible change I couldn't quite put my finger on. That nailed it.

[Andre]

That isn't what he means. Just a disrespect as in: "Cancel the soap" Critisizing has always been allowed and should always be allowed. However, outright bashing and insane rants aren't right. And shouldn't be tolerated.

[Sweet_VeeVee24]

Hogan, I'm going to bring your thread back to topic...You posted to make your apology, am I correct? Okay....

I accept your apology....I read the rest of what you said, and I, as a person who suffers depression, I can understand what you may be going through.

It's tough at times, but know this...You can always PM me if you ever need to.

I found that since joining SON, there are some very nice people here that truly care, and will take the time out to see how you are doing; and I want to extend that same courtesy.

[CSW]

You're right about the show runners having no respect for soaps, but I'm sorry to say that you missed the point of my little rant. I was talking about the decline of SON as a board, not the decline of soaps based on the actions of network executives.

[Brandeis]

Who decides what an "insane rant" is? Every other poster who clicks the report button? Pretty soon we'll have people saying certain opnions are insane. Just today I made a comment suggesting certain soaps should be cancelled. Andre, after reading your comment I hope no one took it seriously.

Above all I believe we have to respect each other as real people here ( I know I'm not always good at that) and remember the rest is fiction, even the actors real lives are largely fiction. The real people here are us.

[Brandeis]

I saw your point... but was nitpicky about how you made it. Now If I were quick to the report button, I might consider your remark condescending and rude.

[Andre]

I was questioning whether to use the word "insane" (and I'm using it casually, not to offend anyone), but I mean it to define the rant as something that is antagonistic, offensive, blind to other opinions and/or genuinely uninformed. And it should be the job of moderators to take these posters aside and restate the rules.

SON was always a place that had well-throught-out opinions and great discussions. There wasn't censorship, but a certain level of intervention needed to be present. This is an open board and anyone can register.

[DruRocks]

It's a SOAP board and things are bound to get heated. There is no going around that. Some people just go way overboard and become annoying IMHO. I don't get how some people can complain, when they just add to the drama. Instead of adding to the fuel, why not just ignore the post/poster? As for the "warn" feature, I like to think that this is a mature board and I should not have to use it.