You make great points. In many cases, the types of small-town settings for soaps are the type of places queer people often leave for bigger cities with more dating options (London, NYC, Los Angeles). The City would have been a great opportunity to showcase LGBTQ characters. I know they attempted something with Azure, the trans model, but you can’t tell a credible NYC story without gays and lesbians.
There are SO many issues that gay men that are unique that aren’t tied to blatant homophobia and gay-bashing, HIV fears, or coming out to friends and family. I would love to see gay characters who are older than 30 or 40 on these shows for once.
In theory, trans characters should have more romantic “options,” but there are a lot of very complicated issues there as well. Notably, hesitation from cis people to pair up with trans people, and how to dramatize that. But it’s also an opportunity to show them learning and growing.