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Abusive Relationships

Ms. Walsh

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At the house I live in at college, I was elected as the head of the new students, and so my role is to make the new students feel at home and help them adjust to life at college and living away from home, etc.

In the past few weeks, I've made a lot of friends w/ most of the first-years in my house. I especially made good friends w/ this one particular girl.

She just came out to her parents, and she's been in her first lesbian relationship for about 2 months. At first, it seemed like her girlfriend was a nice person; however, a lot of things sketched me out. A lot of people in the house are worried about this relationship. It's definitely abusive in the emotional and verbal sense. It's nothing physical, but we're all worried that it might turn into one (in fact, it might have already).

The girl is considering dropping out b/c, after she told her parents that she and her girlfriend were engaged, her parents disowned her and refused to pay for college. The girl assumes that it's b/c she's gay, but I really think her parents are upset about the relationship, not her sexuality.

I really can't go into more details. The signs are all there though. It's almost like a case scenario of an abusive relationship in terms of what's been happening. Control issues, jealousy, wanting her to not hang out w/ friends, insisting on seeing each other as much as possible, demanding that she say things, insisting on having sex in front of her roommate, etc.

I'm also concerned b/c her girlfriend might come attack me or someone in the house, especially if we try to intervene. :(

So, if anyone who's been in an abusive relationship, or knows someone who has, or has any sort of experience, I would love it if you helped me out...even just a little bit. I really don't know what to do, or if I should do something.


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