Three Days before the show begins....Les Moonves and his top three executives are meeting to discuss the hughe crisis that has struck the cast of Big Brother All Stars. Mutiny has occurred.

Les Moonves: What do you mean, we have to get a new host. What is wrong with Julie?

Executive #1: Sir, no one has signed their contracts and no one will do the show if Julie is the host.

Les: So we get rid of them. Who else can we get? I am sure that we can still get a good show out of this.

Executive #2: Well sir, you see. Um, there are only a few who will.

Les:Why?

Executive #1: Well, they call her Chenbot. She really needs to lay off the Botox, no disrespect sir.

Les: I know, I know, I keep telling her that but she doesn't listen. Let me see the list.

Less scans the list in disbelief: You mean to tell me that the only people who are willing to come on the show if Julie hosts are the crybaby, the twins, that cowboy, the two felons and the girl who let one of the felons hold a knife to her throat?

Executive #3: Well, and Mike Boogie.

Executive #1: He's a felon too.

Executive #2: Sir, I hate to say it, we have to swallow the bullet here and get a new host.

Sighing, Les gets up and circles the table: Ok, who's available. Try that Kristin Cavallari. Or Ellen Degeneres, I like her. What's that Antonio Sabato Jr from that soap doing this summer? Try them. Get back to me in five minutes while I call my wife.

Ten Minutes Later...

Executive #3 None of them are available for the summer, but we have an idea.....

Les: I like it. Now we will show those punks who is boss and Julie won't throw me out of the house.

Three days later the houseguests are sitting in the living room with masks on. They have been ordered by the producers to sit on the couch and not to make a sound. This is the food and HOH competition. The first seven people to speak eat PB&J. Last one standing is HOH. Once you speak, you can remove your mask and speak at will. The HGs know that Julie Chen will not be their host, but they have no idea who it will be.

Producer: Good evening, I trust you are all comfortable. The game has begun. There are three people from seasons 2-6. We have many twists and turns this season and many surprises...

Amy: OMG, Someone here had a three cheese omelet and someone had sex today! Chiwhora must be here.

Chiara: I did not have a three cheese omelet. Shut up Amy!

Producer: Amy, Chiara, please take off your masks. You are out of the competition and will eat PB&J.

Marcelleus gets up and hugs Amy: I have missed you so much Amy!!!Now let's see what everyone is wearing and who we have for eye candy.

Dr Will: This is absurd. I am not sitting here like this anymore. Hey, now that I can see everyone, can I go check my bag and see where my toothbrush is. I suggest someone else should too.

Hardy jumps up: What? Shannon is here?

Dr Will: Oh this is too easy.

Heads turn to the door and the new hosts are revealed. Producer: Remember HGs, the grass is not always greener...

Boston Rob: So Ambah and I had nothin to do this summah so they called us to help out around here. Keep you all in line.

James: Are you kidding me?

Amber: Nope. And the HOH will not be leading the competitions this season, we are.

Boston Rob: Yeah, so what we says goes:

Marvin: Oh I don't think so. (Marvin whips off his mask) Damn there are some fine lookin women here. Rob, I gotta tell you, that Ethan guy did a hell of a lot better than you though scoring Jenna Morasca.

Will W: I am just dying of curiosity and I have to pee. OMG, she's here.

Dr Will: I know, I had to put up with her all the way to the end of my season, it wasn't fun.

Nicole: You almost ruined my marriage! I need a cigeratte!

Amber: Sorry Nicole, you can't leave until everyone is done.

Nicole bursts into tears: I can't stay in here with him this long, I just can't.

Dr Will: When did you start crying more than Bunky?

Janelle sighing, OMG

Boston Rob: Janelle, you are out. You spoke.

Janelle: I did.

Will W: Yeah sweetie you did.

Marcelleus: Amy, I would maybe cut two inches of her hair and that's it. She's gorgeous.

AMy and WIll W: I agree.

Nathan: Well I want to see who is here from my season. I have a feeling ALison will be here.

Alison: You're right.

Three hours pass

Nakomis: Ok, I give up. I have to pee, so whoever is left please hurry up.

Jack pulls his mask off and says: Rachel, you are the first HOH. Welcome everyone.

Amber: So that was our lines. Rachel you will be sleeping in the HOH room tonight and everyone else will be in the dorm room at the end of the hall. There is a hidden room if you are so inclined to look for it.

Boston Rob: So Amy, Chiara or whatevah your name is, Marcelleus, Dr Will, Hardy, James and Marvin are eating PB&J. Gotta say, the girls smoked ya. Rachel, in two days you will nominate two people for evicition

Alison: Girls are better than boys. We get them to do whatever we want, right Nathan?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later

Everyone had visited Rachel and pitched their ideas on who should go. Alliances had formed. People were getting on each other's nerves. Rachel gathered Janelle and James in the HOH room to throw some ideas around

Rachel: Hey guys, thanks for meeting me in here. I wanted to get your input on who you think I should put up for eviction.

James: Dr Will. He is super popular and is the only person here who has actually won. I think it's best that we get him out.

Janelle: I agree. Alison too. She's annoying and she plays a strong game.

Rachel: Dr Will never wins challenges though. Look at Hardy, he does though.

James: Hardy and I are a lot alike. We won challenges but we lost. I say get rid of Will.

Janelle: Or Marvin. He's strong too.

Rachel shook her head: He doesn't play the mental game well. I guess I am going to have to think about it. Nominations are in a few hours. See you guys in a bit.

James walked into the kitchen and Janelle walked into the bathroom where she was met by someone. She looked in the mirror and nodded and walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The backyard, in the hammock

Amy: Oh Marcelleus, I hate all that yucky smoke. I hate that Chiwhora. Look at her hanging all over that Hardy boy. I should go make a play for him.

Marcelleus, laughing: Oh you should!

Amy: Let's see what Will says, Oh Will!

Will W. comes over

Amy: Do you think that I should go put Chiwhora out of her misery? Maybe throw her in the pool. Or throw myself at Hardy boy.

Will W: No, but let's go hang out with my friend Nakomis. She is the nicest, sweetest girl.

Marcelleus: She needs a new wardrobe.

Will W: This is Big Brother, not Queer Eye.

Marcelleus: Hey, what's that I hear?

Will, Amy, Marcelleus, Hardy, Jack and Nakomis go running inside where they are met by Janelle, James and Rachel.

Alison: Take it back!

Chiara: I will not! I saw you take my shirt! I don't care if you were just putting it away, you don't touch what is mine. Janelle, you saw me with this earlier didn't you? You have been angry with me ever since you saw me flirting with Nathan.

Alison: Exactly, DOn't touch what is mine.

Chiara: Are you saying Nathan is yours?

Nathan: Whoa, Alison, calm down. You two Chiara.

Chiara: Janelle; is this my shirt

Janelle stood there and shrugged: Chiara, well...

Chiara: Yes or no.

Rachel: Janelle?

Janelle nodded.

Alison mumbled an apology and walked away.

Janelle waited a moment for everyone to disperse and went into the bathroom: I told you it would work honey.

Nomination Time

Rachel: Being the first HOH is hard. All of you have tried to get to know me which is admirable and I appreciate that. There is no way about this, so don't read anything into it. If I pull your key out, you are safe.

Janelle

Nicole

Nathan

Jack

Nakomis

Marvin

James

Amy

Marcelleus

Will W.

Hardy

Chiara

So the two nominees are you Alison and Will Kirby. Will, well you are the only one here who has actually won the game. I think it's only fair that someone else gets a shot. Alison. Well we are not exactly hitting it off and whatever happened between you and Chiara isn't cool. Meeting adjourned

Amber: Power of Veto will be tomorrow and there will be a surprise to it. Tune in to see...