PSSN: A Legacy of Lunacy

[Sylph]

Passions: A Legacy of Lunacy Remembered

Monday, August 4, 2008

Last updated 2:20 p.m. PT

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tvguide/373499_soaps4.html

Zany witchcraft. Sordid violence. Cheese-tastic monsters. Gratuitously naked men. Has there ever been a show like Passions? Created in 1999 by the certifiably insane suds legend James E. Reilly, the NBC-DirecTV soap signs off this week (Thursday at 2 pm/ET, DirecTV channel 101). Here's a look back at its most twisted plots. ? Michael Logan

To Di For: Passions rewrote history ? and p.o.'d Princess Diana fans ? when it revealed that Diana and Dodi had been on their way to see socialite Sheridan Crane (McKenzie Westmore) when they crashed in that Paris tunnel. Later, Di contacted Sheridan from heaven.

Whole Lotta Shakin': The quaint little town of Harmony survived countless disasters ? earthquakes, a tsunami, an avalanche, a volcano eruption, even an asteroid. Then there was the real-estate crisis: The Bennett home started oozing blood and sank into the bowels of hell.

Dynamic Duo: Let's raise a Martimmy glass to Juliet Mills and Josh Ryan Evans, the wildest couple in soap history. She plays Tabitha, a boozy, centuries-old sorceress. He was her precious Timmy, an enchanted doll who longed to be a real boy. In a shocker too bizarre even for Passions, Evans died of a heart condition Aug. 5, 2002 ? the same day his character died on air.

Holy Mother!: Whaddya do when you're pregnant by your half brother? Poor Whitney (Brook Kerr) considered abortion, but a statue of the Virgin Mary talked her out of it. So she gave birth, joined a convent and whipped herself silly.

Brokeback Lesbians: Love bloomed for Norma (Marianne Muellerleile) and Edna (Kathleen Noone) when they took jobs at a dude ranch. The senior sidekicks would later marry in soaps' first gay wedding. Alas, that wasn't their only first: Viewers got to see Edna give hairy ol' Norma a bikini wax.

Oh, No She-He Didn't: First Vincent (Phillip Jeanmarie) lured his married uncle, Chad (Charles Divins), into down-low sex. Then the evil she-male seduced his own father and got pregnant. Top that, Jerry Springer!

Simian Scandal: When Passions hired orangutan BamBam to play Nurse Precious, the Center for Nursing Advocacy blasted the show for depicting "nursing as a simple and lowly profession" and adding to the U.S. nursing shortage. Cracked Reilly in response: "If nurses knew how much we pay BamBam per day, they'd all be putting on monkey suits."

[Sylph]

I had also a superb blog entry published long ago that I posted on SON, but now the topic is lost... And I haven't saved it.

It talked about a woman watching Passions and VH1 while ironing or something... I don't remember.

That was a great read.

[brimike]

I have nothing to add. I just saw that Sylph replied in a Passions thread, and I rushed right over to see what he said. Yes, it was that important. :lol:

[Sylph]

I searched for that thing for half an hour then I lost my nerves.

I love it when people slap the hideous Passions, what can I say.

[Cat]

OK, I know it's wrong but JER is hilarious!

(It also reminds me of that cringeworthy B&B episode when Brad, desperate to jump on the Passions bandwagon, hired BamBam for so-called "funny" scenes with Jack Wagner).

I so wish Juliet Mills would get hired by another soap. I wonder how long before Lindsey Hartley gets snapped up.

[Laurie]

^Juliet Mills on another soap would rock! I would also like to see Emily Harper on another one.

Thanks for posting Sylph

[Toups]

Why is it wrong? Of course JER is hilarious!

Thanks for posting that Sylph. God, I'm going to miss that insane show.