The Vincent/Eve scenes from November 22. Such awesomeness.

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Eve: Wait....I was examining Valerie. She came to me and she thought she was pregnant.

Vincent: And......

Eve: And the blood test came back positive. Where's Valerie, Vincent?

Vincent: You know the answer to that.

Eve: Nooooo.....Nooooo.....that's impossible.

Vincent: Oh come on! You gave her a pelvic exam. You remember! Didn't you say it was awfully similiar down there?

Eve: Noooope.....Nooooope....That can't be.

Vincent: It's Thanksgiving, Mommy. Get in the spirit. Check out my giblets again.

Eve: Noooo...It's impossible!!

Vincent: You haven't lost a son. (Shows the wig) You've gained a daughter. I'm Valerie too.

Eve: Oh God!!!! Ohhh!!!!! (starts crying)

(Vincent laughs maniacally)

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Vincent: A good colour for me, don't you think?

Eve: No....This is just another one of your lies. You were dating Valerie.

Vincent: Was I?

Eve: Whitney says she heard you fighting and you tore apart Valerie's apartment.

Vincent: Think about it, Mommy. Has anyone ever seen us together? No? They've only overheard us. I'm really good at doing both of our voices. Heck, we could almost sing duets.

Eve: Oh God.......I don't understand.....Why???!!

Vincent: For years, I've been playing a role, Mommy...until I finally came to grips with who I am......Or should I say, who we are.....Vincent and Valerie. I think Valerie is a bit nicer than I am but I'm a better dresser. And now we're pregnant.

Eve: (confused) Soooo....you're pregnant??? How's that possible??

Vincent: You're the doc, doc.

Eve: Maybe the test are wrong.

Vincent: Nope. I've been throwing up every morning. We're pregnant. (smiling)

Eve: But Valerie came to me. She thought you might be the father of her baby.

Vincent: I try to remember to stretch every morning but no one's that limber.

Eve: So the father......

Vincent: I don't know. It could be Chad or Julian.

Eve: Okay.....I don't want you to get into particulars or anything but how could anyone not realize that you....uh....

Vincent: Oh.....It's awfully complicated down there.

Eve: (sick to her stomach) Oh God.......

Vincent: I've had no complaints with whoever I've been with. Speaking of which, you're missing the best part, Mommy. If Chad isn't the father, then Julian is.

Eve: Yes....that's right, you're own father. Incest.

Vincent: (smirking) Can you imagine the look on his face when he realizes, not only am I his son Vincent, but his mistress Valerie as well. (laughs) Well Grampa Alistair can't kid too much. You know how big he is on family. This kid will have Crane blood on both sides. Aw....don't run away, Mommy. Where you going?

Eve: (grabs a bottle of wine) Oblivion....is the only place I want to go.

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Vincent: You shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. Why not have a bottle of pills to go with it.

Eve: I'm not going mad.....Vincent is alive...and Vincent is really Valerie.

Vincent: Or the other way around.

Eve: (tipsy) Vincent and Valerie.....and Valerie is pregnant..and if they're both the same people, then Vincent is pregnant. And that means my son is having a baby. The father of my son's child could be my son's father. Oh that's disgusting.

Vincent: Lucky for me though, the little one will have to buy me gifts on both father's day and mother's day. I'll make out like a bandit.

Eve: Nobody's ever going to believe this.

Vincent: Happy Thanksgiving, Mommy. A child is a precious gift from God, right. We have so much to be thankful for.

The father of my son's child could be my son's father.

Toups, I don't know if this is quite possibly the most brilliant line of dialogue ever spoken in soaps, or the most shameful. I think it's a little of both.

Toups, I don't know if this is quite possibly the most brilliant line of dialogue ever spoken in soaps, or the most shameful. I think it's a little of both.

Yeah, I think it's a little of both too. I can't wait to see Julian's reaction. It should be fun. Oh what about the delivery! Are we actually going to see Vincent give birth to the baby? God, I love this show.

OMG that dialogue is AMAZING.

Sick, but so amazing. I wanna see what else is in JER's head that he couldn't do on network TV.

Are we actually going to see Vincent give birth to the baby? God, I love this show.

I don't even think it's possible this baby would make it to term without having a few extra limbs (I bet it'll be conjoined twins on top of everything else). But in the Reilly-verse, who knows...

That dialogue is hilarious

But the story has turned me off big time. It's just too much for me to take.

But the story has turned me off big time. It's just too much for me to take.

^ ITA! Over the last 2 months, Passions has totally alienated me. I don't necessarily think it's the implausibility of some plots, but also the budget restraints. Characters are disappearing at whim. First Tabitha, now Alistair and Pretty. And it seems Jessica and her pregnancy are lost in limbo, stuck between NBC and DirecTV! What's worse is that nobody ever mentions her - it's like she never existed.

I can't think of anything that I like at the moment. What I did like, was Sheridan & Luis' search for Marty. But now that seems to be going nowhere anytime soon.

Pilar's secret had promise, but that's fizzled badly. Why must everything on Passions end up in rape? And I can't believe this Juanita chick wouldn't believe Pilar, not to mention the implausible length of time it's taken for her track down Pilar. Doesn't she read the papers/watch TV?

That VV/Eve dialogue is unbelievable! Only on Passions!

Passions has made for the best drinking game ever.

Does anyone besides Kay care about Miguel? How come no one in his family is inquiring about him being missing? Paloma, Theresa, Luis and Pilar all seem to be oblivious