Members Shawn Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 I just wanted to say thank you for the support that my fellow SONers have shown me during the last few weeks, and to apologize for not feeling up to either posting or conversing off of the board. I've been in a dark place these past few weeks. My brother in law dying from an OD brought back memories of my own demons and the crippling pain it brought back has made me a shell of my usual self. About five years ago I battled my own problem with drugs. I turned to cocaine as a way of coping with the brutal rape that I suffered two years prior. Knowing that my brother in law succombed to the horrific grasp of the white devil has effected me greatly. Not so much because I lost him, per se, because he really was a nasty person who abused my sister and his children (though its still tragic that he died). It effected me because during my battle with cocaine addiction, I once OD'ed and almost left this world. Looking down at him in the coffin, cold pale and lifeless, I saw myself, and it terrified me thinking of what could have been. I've been reclusive since the funeral, trying to cope with memories and experiences of my teeb years. To be honest, I came close several times to locking myseld in the bathroom with a razor blade. The fact that some of you made it a mission to make me smile again has helped tremendously. Ryan. Vee, Kenny and Dusty especially, from the bottom of my still healing heart, thank you. You have been a guiding light. And though its going to be a long and painful road, getting out of this tunnel, seeing that light in the far off distance is going to motivate me to run instead of walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NaVell J. Lee Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 Shawny, I had no idea that you went through this. I am so sorry, and you know I am always around whenever you need it. Anything I can do to say/help, I will man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KLN Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 Oh, Shawn. You don't have to thank us. We're a little family here... and we're here to support each other. *hugs* You're a strong man. You're gonna be alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Danni Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 *hugs* You always have support here, you know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KLN Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 WE LOVE YOU, SHAWN! (marry me?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JER Soaps Fan Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 Alky, I had no idea of all the things you've been though. On the bright side, you've come through it all so that makes you a survivor, which you should take heart in if ever you get depressed or feel you're nearing the edge. My positive thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Q Steph Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 I'm really sorry, Shawn. Just know that we're all here to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Keith Posted March 24, 2007 Members Share Posted March 24, 2007 You know we love you, Shawn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ryan Posted March 25, 2007 Members Share Posted March 25, 2007 Shawn you know that I would do anything for you. You are one of the few people that I can truly call a friend and I am glad that I was able to help you in any way that I did. We all go through things that envelop us in a dark cloud, but it's our determination and support from friends and family that help pull us out of it. We love you Shawn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sweet_VeeVee24 Posted March 25, 2007 Members Share Posted March 25, 2007 Shawn if you ever, ever need us, we are here for you...no questions asked. You are in my heart, in my thoughts and prayers... I know that you have been going through a lot, so if you just need that shoulder/s to lean on, do so...I'm always online and always ready to listen. Love you tons Shawn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shawn Posted March 26, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 26, 2007 I (heart) all of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Actor87 Posted March 26, 2007 Members Share Posted March 26, 2007 Shawn...you already know how I feel, bud And psstt!! (I love the new banner!! Wonder who made it?! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SoapAlcoholic Posted March 26, 2007 Members Share Posted March 26, 2007 aww man. I have had those moments in the past. if you need someone to talk to pm me or email me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mateo22 Posted March 26, 2007 Members Share Posted March 26, 2007 LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you Shawn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shawn Posted March 26, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 26, 2007 Thanks Soap. I might take you up on that offer if and when I feel down again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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