Franko

If Sharon Wyatt was available and the show wanted to explore it, Tiffany's past could be as potent as Bobbie's. She was always depicted as a former actress who never really made it big, but intimately knew wealthy men. In short, Tiffany was awfully close to what we'd now call a yacht girl.

This week's guest ... Teri Austin.

I was surprised to learn that Kevin Dobson, of all people, was originally supposed to play the cuckhold husband in A Night in Heaven. Spoilers: the husband gets revenge on Christopher by holding him at gunpoint on a boat (it might even have been a rowboat) and forcing him to strip. I get the impression that Linda and Christopher get along -- he played her partner in Ladies of the '80s -- but I never saw anything more than friend chemistry between them, which just made Peter seem really, really stubborn and childish. To the best of my memory, no. We never actually saw those two in bed. I guess the show figured it was enough just having Christopher and Linda in swimsuits. I haven't yet made it up to 1987-88, with Clayton and the Laurel Ellis storyline, but now I wish they had done something with Miss Ellie and a golddigging gigolo. Imagine what J.R. would say about that!

It's quite tedious, justifiable only in that we're watching Anna, Frisco, and Sam improve at their jobs. This is one of those instances where I wish I had no idea what to expect. I'm not looking forward to Rick and Ginny's eventualy custody battle with Derek and Lorena.

I forgot to mention that the lore surrounding Purity Water reminds me of this classic SNL commercial parody.

The Decline and Fall of the Monty Empire Week Four (Jan. 20-24, 1986) Lila: "Don't you trust your own flesh and blood?" Edward: "Never. Because he is my own flesh and blood." Laurelton, the mystery stuff: What Anna, Frisco, and Sam accomplish, tracking down Ralph Russell, Bobbie's kidnapper and manager of the Purity Water plant, takes a backseat to how they accomplish it. I can tolerate the week's worth of episodes it takes to get us to Russell's last stand at the bus station. During this time, not only does Anna meet Sam (on Monday), but we also see Frisco effectively getting information out of people (the woman recovering from a stroke and getting speech therapy from Tania, then Tania & Tony themselves). I also liked Buzz reminding Anna that she is making progress with the Brownstone case, even if the scene still feels like it's between besties rather than a potential couple. I'm giving a demerit, however, to the filler scene where Sam mistakes an innocent blond man for Russell, who's wearing a wig to try evading capture. Then again, he's not that innocent. He's a married man receptive to the idea of Sam trying to pick him up. Anyway, Russell fires his gun, Anna fires back, and it looks like Russell could spill the beans about Earl Moody's death. Laurelton, the relationship stuff: Terry ends the week having declared a truce with Patrick, who is also friendly again with Kevin. On Tuesday, Patrick apologizes to Terry for "the role I played that night in Laurelton," and later in the episode, she tells Anna that the night she was named Miss Purity was also the night she had her first liquor. On Friday, Terry reveals that both Russell and Ted have been in her nightmares. I wonder if viewers at the time thought either or both of the men had drugged and/or raped her. This week also included more information about Miss Purity -- it wasn't an annual award. Jennifer's image was on Purity Water bottles when the company was founded. After that, Terry's mother's image was on the bottles, then Terry herself. Speaking of Purity Water, Jennifer's second priority (after trying to get Russell the hell out of Port Charles) is preparing to keep Patrick from assuming the privileges of being majority stockholder. He's quite clearing going to boot her out as board president. Again, it's dime store Falcon Crest stuff. Mike's paternity: Mike, Ginny, and Rick all were getting on my nerves in this batch. What stinks is that it felt like we had a natural place to resolve their conflict. On Wednesday, Rick Jr. chokes on a safety pin, resulting in the Webbers and Derek all ending up at the hospital. For the second straight week, Mike draws blood: Ginny: "Things have been a ... little crazy since you left." Mike: "Yeah, well, I can tell. Look how you almost killed my baby brother." I suspect it won't last, but I'm still loving Derek & Lorena as the biggest adults in the situation. Rick ends the week mad at both Derek and Ginny. Ginny ends the week mad at Rick, thinking he's rejecting Mike. I don't blame Ginny for being so exhausted-pissed-frustrated when Rick asks about who's watching Rick Jr. "I'm! ... the baby is fine. Amy is with the baby. I suppose, of course, you think I left him alone, right?" -- If Judith Chapman was going up on her lines, then she did a really nice job of covering it. Judith had the most challenging work of the week, but I'm going to give my acting crown to Jack Wagner for Frisco telling Mike about his father, and how he waited too long to resolve their differences. Frisco & Sam: Oh, brother, now Ruby thinks they're going to hook up. And she is not having it. Frisco doesn't help matters on Friday, when he suggests posing with Sam as newlyweds while they keep an eye on Russell. Felicia's coming back soon, which means we can eventually resolve this non-story. On Thursday, Sam notes that if she and Frisco were on TV, they'd have slept together by now. Thursday also has a comedy scene of Frisco & Sam in a full GH elevator. She steps on his feet, they talk about their partnership, and he says he trusts her "Every inch of the way." (Shouldn't the punchline be "Every step of the way"?) Sean vs. the Quartermaines: The rollercoaster is still ascending, but we do get some amusing and slightly interesting family stuff. Edward and Alan are certain that Jimmy Lee's sharing more information about the Brazil situation in his letters to Celia than he is in his letters to them. As for Celia, she fills in for Felicia as Sean's secretary, keeping an eye on her and Jimmy Lee's 10% of Donely Shipping. On Friday, Celia gets saucy with Monica, resulting in a "You're in my gatehouse" moment. Other thoughts: -- If I took a shot every time Jennifer & Ted go down those stairs at the Brownstone ... Patrick even comments on it, sarcastically noting that they're always around to hear the good news. -- This has just not been a good month for Port Charles as a city. The flu is working its way through General Hospital, the police department, and Mike's school. And if that's not enough, Robin's school (which might be the same as Mike's) has an early dismissal due to the heat going out. -- "... I miss you, baby. Love, Jimmy Lee." Just to clarify, that was Celia re-reading the end of her letter. That wasn't Edward reading Celia's letter. If it was, it would have scored Line of the Week. -- Stella shows up on Friday to continue the running gag of Edward hating herring. Jessie's still MIA. Audrey's back on Thursday to team up with Buzz. They have Yank & Jade go on rounds together so that the young adults might stop being distracted by one another. -- Oh, and Bryan & Claudia have apparently resolved their differences.

Today in other annoyances: Who spells it "Petie" rather than "Petey"?

Onto "The Unraveling" -- It's interesting that the writers had Gary tell Val about his wanting to marry Jill before the two ladies actually have had a scene together. I mean, Val knows who Jill is, and back in Season Seven, Jill watched Val confront Gary about giving Empire Valley to the twins. I suppose Jill and Val could have interacted off camera at some point (like that party in Season Seven where Abby came clean-ish to everybody), but now I'm seriously wondering just when Jill and Val's first on camera interaction is. If it's not until "Noises Everywhere," I'm going to be annoyed.

I'm up to "Gifts." I did not have "Michele Lee does a Jon Lovitz impression" on my bingo card.

But praise the lord, they did.

Thanks so much for the tag, @DRW50 !

I'm glad you like it. I forgot Bob Hastings voiced Commissioner Gordon. My go-to for him is another '70s movie, The Poseidon Adventure. Apparently during the production of McHale's Navy, he was extremely reliable-popular for being on hand to entertain Universal Studios tram tours.

Agreed. It's a shame they felt the need to back Cliff into the corner of "This guy is absolutely, under no circumstances, going to win."

"Election," specifically the characters of Martin Cole (the Ewing-backed Texas State Senate character who beat Cliff) and Penny Ames (who was pregnant with Cliff's baby and died while having an illegal abortion). Martin could have provided some contrast with Dave Culver, Bobby, and Donna's political storylines. Penny at least deserved to be mentioned when it turned out that Afton was pregnant when she left Cliff.

The Decline and Fall of the Monty Empire Week Three (Jan. 13-17, 1986) Jennifer: "... Theresa and I are from a small town. I don't think there's even one psychiatrist in Laurelton. We solve our problems with tender loving care." Buzz: "Yes, I'm from a small town too, Mrs. Talbot. And I have found that tender loving care does not help deep-rooted psychological problems." Jennifer: "Oh. Well, your town must be different from ours." Laurelton, the mystery stuff: I wish I was having more fun watching Anna match wits against Sheriff Broder. At least with Monica vs. Alan and Edward, there's longstanding relationships and obvious respect to make sure the conflict mean something. On a positive note, I did get my wish when Bobbie and Jake talked about how unnerving it was that everyone in Laurelton seemed to know who they were and what they were looking for. Alas, this was talked about rather than shown. I'm also getting really annoyed by the trip from Laurelton-Port Charles (a plane ride) being able to be covered in near-consecutive scenes. I get that they want to keep the action moving, but they shouldn't have had Laurelton in another state. Laurelton, the relationship stuff: Patrick's got kind of a bargain basement Steven Carrington quality right now, minus the homosexuality. He spends most of Friday's episode upset about being an outsider from the people of Laurelton, whether it's his off-screen parents or Lottie the hostess. At least Patrika Darbo (Sally, a Port Charles barmaid) didn't dislike him. On another '80s primetime soaps note, Jennifer's got a more pronounced Temu Angela Channing air to her. As for Terry & Kevin, it's hard to like her when she's being such a ninny. Back to Patrick: because he inherited 280 shares of the Purity Water corporation and most of Earl Moody's money, and there's a window of time where he could have killed Neil Johnson, he's now the prime suspect in the Laurelton and Brownstone killings. Bobbie & Jake: I didn't know that Jake apparently doesn't know about Bobbie's past. I assumed that came up, even in passing, when she was charged with Brock's murder. Jackie Zeman and Sam Behrens win my acting crown for the week with their beautiful scene on Monday. "Nothing is holding me back from loving you. A lot is holding me back from getting any closer to you." Sean vs. the Quartermaines: I'm appreciating that Sean's being as direct as possible with Monica. This week he reminds her that it's possible that everybody minus A.J. and Jason could end up wiped out. Sean really is a perfect lover. He clearly values consent. Jimmy Lee & Celia: Who wears short shorts? Jimmy Lee wears short shorts! If my theory about Steve Bond having a three-year contract and a one-year extension is right, then this might have been the time that the extension was getting worked out. Jimmy Lee's off to Brazil to work for Dimitri Cassadine while Celia has to stay home. Savor that hookup with Jimmy Lee, Celia. It will end up being your last. Frisco & Sam: I wonder if there were viewers in 1986 who thought that Frisco would actually cheat on Felicia. Tony & Tania certainly believe it's a matter of time. To her credit, Sam's not giving off any take me now vibes. I hope that Sam's eventual victory over the PCPD's climbing rope will pay off during some storyline. The Webbers and Barringtons: Bobbie and Ginny being so friendly to one another made me think about how much Ginny matured over the last two years. It's interesting that Bobbie could be close with someone who tried framing her for murder a year ago. I guess Bobbie's friendship with Rick carried a lot of the weight initially. I wonder if Bobbie and Lucy could have eventually been friends if Lucy stayed married to Tony. Anyway, Ginny's the suffering madonna in this batch, watching with Rick as Mike goes out to eat with Derek & Lorena and later being accused of promiscuity by her son. This earns Mike a well-deserved slap (sorry, but it was) from Rick. Other thoughts: -- Why is Terry's face still on bottles of Purity Water? She was crowned Miss Purity in 1983. Did they stop giving out the title after Terry defiled the crown? This might get answered soon, but I want to complain about it right now. -- GH's episode structure is also annoying me. The Quartermaines' story pops in about a third of a way into Monday's episode. There's an almost random Bryan & Claudia scene near the end of Thursday's episode. It's like, map out your episodes a little more cleanly, people. -- For the record, Bryan & Claudia are fighting because their girls are apparently going through the terrible twos, he wants her to be a homemaker, and she wants him to share her responsibilities. Claudia actually calls Bryan a male chauvinist pig, which always makes me think of the '70s Freaky Friday. Clip.CafeWatch 'Male chauvinist pig! Why did you call Daddy a male...Watch the clip 'Male chauvinist pig! Why did you call Daddy a male chauvinist pig? Because he is one! But...' from the movie Freaky Friday on Clip.Cafe. Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews): Male chauvinist pig!-- It's nice to see Lila with a little bit of bite as Alan, et. al try to keep her in the dark about their scheming. The show has it both ways, though, when Lila says she's seen far too much to want to see more. "Lila, my darling." "Edward, my charlatan." -- Different Times: Tony suggests the Brownstone get an intercom so that its residents can be quickly notified in a crisis. -- Hey, It's 1986!: The kids at Mike's school apparently have a three-day week. They get Monday off for Martin Luther King Jr. Day (first observed in '86), then Tuesday off for a teacher in-service day. -- I've yet to see Jessie. Steve popped up two weeks ago when Bobbie got the okay to go to Laurelton, and Audrey's around on Tuesday to give the student nurses their assignments. Dan Rooney's also MIA. Because she's Mike's boss and landlady, Ruby's around for much of the week. -- Knowing what we know now, Burt's mask slips on Wednesday: "... It was a sorry day when the department decided to allow women on the force." He may claim Anna is different, as she "fights like a man and her training with the WSB makes her unique," but oink, oink, Burt.