If I called the shots: Y&R

[Sylph]

Yep. Saaad. But realistic.

[YRBB]

I agree except... the ratings didn't fall under MAB... so I'm pretty sure they won't fall for anything else

I mean, really? How can you fix stuff like, say, John's death, without causing even further damage to the show?

Ain't impossible, but it ain't easy as well.

[catsmeouch]

I agree with some of your suggestions that the lighting should be fixed and the casting director DEFINITELY needs to be fired.

And yes, the Abbotts definitely need to get Jabot back, and Victor should be cut down to size. He's such a dick.

[lovely_m]

I may have some more, but here are the ones that come to mind.

1. Write for the characters and not for the actors.
2. Bring back Victoria Rowell. Let those who don't want her back to leave. The ratings won't get worse if they are gone and if the actors are smart they will realize that they need the show more than it needs them. Let her help with the black storylines.
3. Write for the all of cast it has now.
4. Don't let actors dictate story.
5. Ban actors, writers, and crew members from using twitter.
6. Don't bring anyone over from B&B.
7. Be careful about the mistakes you choose to fix.
8. If a storyline, actor, or character gets lots of praise don't go overboard with them.
9. No more back from the dead. It was a mistake of past regimes to kill them, but let it go.
10. Pay close attention to continuity. This is a soap opera not a sitcom.

[Khan]

1. FIRE Paul Rauch, Hogan Sheffer, and Scott Hamner.

Okay.

2. REHIRE Edward Scott as executive producer.

Agreed.

3. FIRE Amelia Heinle, Clementine Ford, Michael Muhney, Daris McCrary, Daniel Goddard, Christel Khalil, Stephen Nichols, Stacy Haiduk, Yvonne Zima, Marcy Rylan, and Eden Riegel.

So far, so good (although, I wouldn't mind giving Riegel a chance).

4. REHIRE Vail Bloom as Heather Stevens and make sure she's on contract.

And...you've lost me.

5. RECAST Victoria, Mac, Daisy, and Abby (with a TEENAGER).

Recast Victoria and Abby? Yes. But, recast Mac and Daisy? No. Just send Mac "TO THE LAKE!" and wrap up Daisy's story as quickly as possible so she can be sent to prison (or any place that's far, far away from GC).

6. BUMP Judith Chapman and Kate Linder to recurring. (I know Esther's been on for YEARS but she appears so infrequently that she doesn't need a contract).

Actually, I'd get rid of JC altogether and reveal Esther as Kay's illegitimate daughter. If that ("the maid" being Ms. Chancellor's long-lost daughter) doesn't get Jill's goat...!

7. HIRE an aged Nate Hastings and put him in a triangle with Devon and Roxy. Make a commitment to telling good stories for the Winters/Hastings family regardless of their being African-American.

Yes to the second part, but no to the first. IMO, Y&R should be really bold and pair up a SORAS'ed Nate with Ashley. Imagine the tension between best friends Ashley and Olivia if one were to begin seeing the other's now-grown son!

8. BRING BACK Traci and Oliva to Genoa City full time (but as recurring players). Move Traci into the mansion and have Steve live there off-screen (and pop in when needed).

Actually, I'd have Traci and Steve separate, and Traci move back alone. And, I'd give Beth Maitland a contract, too. The Abbotts need that girl. Hell, the show needs her.

9. BRING BACK Cricket and Danny.

Absolutely not.

Hey, it's my fantasy!

The answer is no, do you hear me? No (lol)!

10. MAKE BETTER USE OF Melody Thomas Scott.

As long as that doesn't translate into, "Victor and Nikki split up again," I'm down for it.

11. HAVE Jack come out on top for once.

Actually, in light of the latest debacle with Patty/Emily, I'd say it's time to "rest" the character. I can't trust him to be intelligent ever again.

12. Reveal [Tawny] to be Tucker's twin sister (and Katherine's real daughter).

Well, okay, but I really like the idea of Esther being the daughter, w/ or w/o the connection w/ Tucker.

13. BRING BACK Kimberlin Brown as Sheila, at least for a 13-week contract, and undo the horrible "Pheila" story once and for all.

Ugh. Alright.

14. HIRE a teenaged Kyle Abbott. Reveal him to be gay. Have him help Noah discover his bisexuality.

I'm sorry, but I don't think so.

15. HIRE a teenaged Ricky Williams. Reveal him to be gay. Pair him with Kyle. Form Ricky/Kyle/Noah/Eden quad.

See above.

16. CONTINUE the Paul/Nina romance. Have Nina look for her stolen son. Reveal the long-lost son to be JT.

I like the idea of Nina finally reuniting with her son (although, please, not someone already on the canvas). The rest, though....

17. HAVE Gloria discover Ashley isn't John's biological daughter and use this information to torment Ashley.

YES! Gloria needs something after all to facilitate her exit out of GC. This (and more precisely, the ramifications) might do the trick.

18. POTENTIALLY reveal John Abbott to be alive. He's actually comatose in a hospital in another city being looked after by DINA.

As wonderful as it might be to think John's still alive, I think Phillip's botched return was enough to ruin the concept in general for me. John Abbott is dead (no thanks to Lynn Marie Latham). May he rest in peace.

19. MORE shirtless scenes with Ryder.

Change "MORE" to "LESS" and subtract "shirtless" and...well, you're close. ;-)

20. REHIRE Victoria Rowell as Drucilla.

CUT TO: Two weeks later, and across the top of the latest SOD reads, "MICHELLE STAFFORD OUT AT Y&R!".

[catsmeouch]

I'd fire Michelle Stafford to bring back Victoria Rowell.

It would be just desserts if Phyllis got sent to jail for running over Paul all those years ago.

[y&r_fan]

1. Revamp the opening.

2. Fire Hammy and the Hog.

3. Hire Jack Smith as co-HW.

4. Put Kevin Schmidt, Vanessa Marano, Tatyana Ali and Susan Walters on contract.

5. Bring back Rachel Kimsey as Mac and Lauren Woodland as Brittany.

6. Fire Christel Khalil, Yvonne Zima, Marcy Rylan, Michael Graziadei, Stacy Haiduk, Adrienne Frantz, Michael Muhney, Clementine Ford (unless Kimsey is unavailable), Darius McCrary and Ted Shackelford.

7. Drop Kate Linder to recurring.

[DeeeDee]

Alistair

[Dr Neil Curtis]

-I would bring back the Brooks Sisters, At least two of them.

-Katherine should have a bitchy daughter with someone like Carmen Duncan, Deborah Adair, or Anna Stuart in the role.

-Recast Lily (Davetta Sherwood), Mac (Eden Riegel), and Malcolm (Shermar Moore/Donn Swaby)

-Emily is really the crazy one and Patty is the one thats sane. Give Patty some backstory and make her a stand up citzen.

-Bye JT, Chance, Chloe, Gloria, Gary Ewing, Kevin, Jana, Ryder, Daisy, Emily, and Adam. Hello Joanna Manning (recurring), Mamie (Recurring), Dina Abbott, Traci Abbott, Felicia Forrester (Recurring), Nate, Diane (Alex Donnelly), Snapper and/or Greg.

-Nina/Paul, Joanna Manning/Victor/Nikki Ashley/Snapper, Billy/Felicia Forrester

-Tucker wife should come to town none other than........................Dina Abbott.

-Victoria face is disfigured in a car accident and she comes back in the form of: Alicia Minshew or Vanessa Marcil

[JimTolkien]

I was going to comment and then I realized that this was supposed to be a fantasy. I am already getting mine, Sony (with I hope a little help from CBS)is shaking this show up and I LOVE IT. Now we just wait to see what the inevitable fallout will be....and pray it is not catastropical. I have said it to myself many times if MAB & the Bells want to control their show, got get their own damn network where they don't have to worry about hundreds of thousands of employees!

[DRW50]

Nick and Phyllis contemplate an open marriage. One night, a drunken Nick stumbles home in the middle of an orgy Phyllis is having with Billy and the Restless Style gang. He wakes up the next morning not knowing who or what he did and feels degraded. Dr. Tim becomes a resident therapist to the Phick/Shick camps and helps them enter couples counseling. He helps Sharon and Phyllis realize they have latent feelings for each other and suggests they try to develop a romantic relationship, to test the waters. Nick is at first horny and happy but then begins to feel shut out as they are no longer fighting over him. They tell Nick to either grow up or get out.

Ryder and Daisy reveal that their mother is actually a voice in their head. They are not actually related, they are both severely mentally ill and met each other at a young age. They latched onto Lauren as an object of their obsession because they grew up watching true crime documentaries and their favorite was the one involving Sheila Carter's reign of terror. Jana beats Daisy to death as she escapes her prison, and has a mental breakdown. Kevin promises to stand by Jana, and moves near the institution she will be staying in as she tries to rebuild her life. Ryder flees his "sister's" funeral, of which he is the only person attending, and in his grief and anger, he does not realize that Amber and Daniel are arguing in the road. Amber is killed instantly. Ryder is talked out of suicide by Mackenzie, who becomes his chief defender and close friend.

Victor falls for Heather. He begins interfering in her career and personal life to try to win her, and even the score with Adam, whose memory haunts Victor. Heather, badgered into compliance, reluctantly goes to dinner with Victor. Victor is so sure of his night that he pops several Viagara, which mix badly with his other medications. He has a heart attack and nearly dies. Victor is humiliated and finally begins to accept he is an old man.

Daniel struggles to regain his ability to walk and to move on without Amber. With no friends around and Phyllis distracted, he descends into drug addiction. Devon's girlfriend Roxanne saves him from an overdose and they slowly begin dating.

Phillip returns and helps Chance deal with being called to serve in Afghanistan. He also helps Nina in her efforts to find her birth father and the son who was stolen from her. Phillip becomes closer to Jill than he ever was. Phillip finds love with a new man, Tony, who seems fascinated with Phillip's friendship with Nina. After a date, Tony returns home, pulls off his wig and face makeup, and we see David Kimble.

Cane and Lily celebrate the births of their children. With some reluctance, Mackenzie gives them their twins. They promise to always let Mac be in their lives, but this is easier said than done and Lily does not like the thought of their biological mother having a presence. Lily and Cane decide to move to Australia once the cattle rustlers are all brought to justice.

The college lifestyle disturbs Noah. All he sees is sex and alcohol, yet he has no real use for the groups who ask him to be ashamed for having sex. Their words make him believe he will grow up to be like Sharon and Nick, only thinking with their loins. Noah feels increasingly less interested in Eden, or anyone, and dumps her, then withdraws into himself. Noah has no answers and begins wandering. He volunteers at a clinic in a nearby clinic and runs into Brock, who begins talking to him about putting his trust into God. Noah becomes a born-again Christian and tries to mend fences with his family, who are disturbed that a member of their family sees church as something to go to beyond holidays, deaths, weddings, and christenings. Brock and Noah set up a ministry in Genoa City and Noah's beliefs are sorely tested by life in such a sleazy town, but his faith wins out.

The Abbotts plan to throw a surprise party for Mamie. Unfortunately, only Traci turns up, as everyone else is too busy. When Traci does convince them to turn up, they immediately begin fighting with each other. Mamie disowns the family and says "goodbye" to ghost John one last time. She dedicates herself to volunteer work and being a voice people in Genoa City can lean on. She also begins to have increasingly strong beliefs that Drucilla is not actually dead.

Billy learns he has HIV. He shrugs the news off, not wanting to face the truth. He decides to keep having unprotected sex with women, and just lie about his status, because he would rather be in denial. This plan never comes to fruition because a rival blogger in Genoa City leaks Billy's medical records to make up for Billy scooping him at Restless Style. Billy is immediately shunned and accused of endangering countless lives. He contemplates suicide, but Traci convinces him to start over. Billy joins Traci at her church and becomes born again. Unfortunately, he becomes judgmental, self-righteous, and turns Restless Style into a bitter screed against those he deems to be sinners. Brock convinces him he should find a better path and try to love, not hate.

Traci turns the Abbott home into part of her plan to work as a foster mother to trouble children. She's stunned when one of the children bears a striking resemblance to a young Colleen. The little girl's mother is a drug addict who often lets men exploit her. Traci is torn between protecting "her" Colleen at all costs, or working to help turn the mother's life around.

Liz has a bad fall and Jill goes to take care of her. Liz has retired to a small but thriving town with nice, unpretentious people. Jill meets a widowed drug store owner, around her age, who has as many demons as she does, but tries to hide them behind a gruff demeanor. As they begin to fall in love, she keeps her Chancellor background a secret from him.

"Patty" commits suicide on the anniversary of her first wedding to Jack. Emily Peterson leaves town quietly. Stung by his family's lack of sympathy for him, Jack leaves town for several months to find Keemo and Mai, who have disappeared without a trace. Meanwhile, as Paul grieves for his sister, he's stunned when Mary and his brother Steve set foot in Genoa City for the first time in ages. They've been traveling. Paul's jaw drops when he sees their special guest...an older version of the Patty Williams Paul had last seen 25 years before.

While fighting for custody of Reed, JT is slowly seduced by a hunky and supportive man he meets at the gym. Unbeknownst to him, this was a setup by Victor, who believes that the courts would have even more ammunition to give Victoria full custody of Reed if JT is involved with another man. To the shock of the Newman family, JT still wins full custody. A spiteful Victor then tells JT of this ruse, and also tells him that Brad Carlton was actually Reed's biological father. JT dumps his boyfriend and then has to decide where to go from here, and to accept his bisexuality. Victoria is so disgusted by all the lies that she apologizes to JT and agrees to share custody of Reed with him. When Victor tells her she's a fool, she slaps him. He fires her from the company and says she is no longer his daughter. A furious Nikki barges into the room, saying that Victoria was never Victor's biological daughter anyway -- her bio father is Kevin Bancroft.

[JimTolkien]

ROFLMAO!!

I have decided I am going to point a few people to this post!! This should at least prevent a catasrophe!

[DRW50]

Some of that I was joking about, some serious. I'll leave it to people to decide which was which

I do miss Dr. Tim.

[JimTolkien]

I am taking the entire thing seriously...that was bloody good!! I am laughing so hard right now. This is what happens when lousy writing stinks up our screen and turn some of us into cynics. I see you did some happy, some funny, the elderly, you did it all.

[DRW50]

Thanks. I actually would like to see some of that, with Traci, and with Billy, and maybe Noah, among others. I spent way too long writing that...probably a lot longer than the scriptwriters these days