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GH: The week of January 26th


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Who wrote today embarrassing dialogue? The toxin on the stolen truck was some "seriously bad-ass stuff." This is the best that these people can do?

I hate when anyone tells anyone to shut up, but I cheered when Johnny told Luly to shut up. She conveniently forgets that it was Carly who got her that job.

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Talk about a contrived LuSam break-up! But GAWD when Sam starts doing her hand-wringing thing and talking all that psychobabble relationship stuff, I just want to cringe. I think she said the word "me" almost as much as Lulu did this episode.

Lulu... sigh. Just... the world's most awful hateful dialogue and smuggest delivery ever. Going off on Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! when she knows he is just trying to keep an honest job down. Guza must really hate Lulu -- and really want us to hate her, too.

The female characters on this show in general are just so unlikeable. Whether it's Kate doing her Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! thing, Olivia rolling her eyes, Carly just... being, Sam whispering out her words all in one breath as she talks about never letting a man run her life (Me= :lol:), Claudia trying to cover up her part in a boy's shooting and Lulu being insufferable... Good LORD. Why am I watching this weird non-Sweeps non-event? Time to take GH off TiVo again.

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I know. Though there are a few characters who are marginally more likeable than the rest (I am liking Patrick, Liz, Robin right now).

GH needs major retooling. I cannot believe how blind Frons, Guza and JFP are being in this instance. I am not Frons's biggest fan but I do believe he has some self-awareness and is pretty details-oriented when it comes to ABCD's shows. He wants them to do well. And yet!

Guza has fallen so far from the dizzying heights of Santa Barbara, Melrose, Click-Boom and Sunset Beach (yes, I consider SuBe a height!), it is not even funny.

JFP was once the most controversial, feared but also secretly respected EP in Daytime.

It's like all their success just went to their heads and they have forgotten who they are writing for -- the audience. Real live flesh-and-blood people who are actually a lot more savvy than they give us credit for. NOT demos, NOT statistics, NOT bar charts representing 18-39 projected viewing patterns.

Oh, who am I kidding? They don't care about the numbers either. They are writing for themselves and in order to placate GH's cloistered, demanding A-listers.

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BWAHAHAHA! Well, I guess "Now It Begins," to coin a phrase Guza used when he last plotted a virus SL -- all of two years ago.

It's like Gooz has run through his 24 box sets and DVDs of The Poseidon Adventure, The Andromeda Strain and Prom Night and all that is left to rip-off is his work on GH. Tune in next month when Rebecca gets strangled! Again. This time by Johnny!Johnny!Johnny! who will be making way for identikit bad boy, Ethan!Ethan!Ethan! who in turn will be making way in a few months' time for Dante!Dante!Dante! If D!D!D! is played by Tom Pelphrey, you best believe I will tune in just to see that hot piece of scruffy ass.

Lulu & Carly: like looking in a mirror and hearing a tape of your voice playing on a loop. At one point, LW and JMB were having a contest to see whocouldsaytheirlinesthefastest.

Sam = Black Widow. Does everybody who crosses her path either die or almost die?

:lol: at Patrick telling everybody's grandmother and their cat about Robin's post-partum depression. And everybody's going "Uh huh. I'm no doctor, but it might be post-partum depression." Ya think?

How about that "Big Fund-Raising Shindig to Raise Money for DemonSpawn's New Brain"? I honestly thought GH was going to give us the Corinthos version of a Nurse's Ball. People in long dresses, sipping champagne and giving each other evil looks. Instead, we get five cast members in some GH lobby, sipping hospital coffee in plastic cups. :lol: I still don't get why Kate is somehow banned but Claudia is invited. I thought Carly was an equal-opportunity woman-hater. And Bobbie -- who works at the hospital -- couldn't make it?

LOL at Edward -- Voice of Reason. I guess we were supposed to feel sorry for Scummy & Snarly when he lambasted them for their "lifestyle choices" (!!!) being the cause of Michael's coma. BTW, I am so beyond sick of the word "lifestyle" on GH as a moniker for Sonny being all mobbed up. They make it sound like Sonny consults Martha Stewart Living before shooting people and spitting on their corpses.

So, who is going to die from the Equinox Virus Thingy? My guess:

1. One of the Quartermaines. It's a GH-mandated tradition! :(

2. A few bit players we couldn't care less about. Earl Bragg is already dearly departed.

3. One of the doctors/nurses who crossed over from NightShift 1. Leyla? Nadine? Take a bow.

4. Dr. Matt Drake. I mean, really. He got blood spurted into his eyes and has no actual purpose on the show. Oh, I forgot. On GH, that means you sign a new contract.

Things I liked:

1. Johnny!Johnny!Johnny! carrying Maxie.

2. Sam giving Patrick uterine advice. :lol:

3. Edward trying to get into Nadine's pants. Man, there is so much wrong with that statement. Edward, you can do better!

4. Jason racing to the rescue! (just kidding)

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^^ Eeek! Spoilers! :lol:

Let's pretend for a second that GH has us guessing as to the outcome of this non-Sweeps Sweeps. I'm going to take a poke in the dark and suggest that Jason & Sonny save everybody. Crazy, huh?

OK, did anybody notice that Carly's got back? Carly went to talk to WheelieMobster aka EN-TuhNEEEEEE Z'Karr-rah and it was like seeing JLo from the waist down. No, she's not fat (hardly!) but I was really surprised because Laura Wright always seems so willowy and tall and teutonic. I never knew she had curves and on soaps most of the women look starved, so it is nice to see.

Speaking of willowy, Sarah Brown is starting to look like an anorexic gymnast. And she speaks like she's still got food in her mouth and is dying for a drink. I'm not being mean, it's just been on my mind. That and her super-squeaky leather jacket.

Liking Lisa LoCicero as Olivia. I don't know why, and I'll probably change my mind when she starts dancing atop the Magic Peen, justifying for Sonny's "lifestyle," introducing him to his long-lost son and telling anybody who will listen what a "good father" he is. But right now, I love her practicality and humour and just general attitude. LLC could have gone REALLY caricatural and extreme with this role. And while they do keep mentioning "Bensonhurst" every five seconds, Olivia reminds me of real people and not stereotypes.

Kudos to Jason Thompson (Patrick) for emoting his heart out in a hazmat suit. When he burst into the sealed-off operating room, it was all exciting with the plastic tenting (like in ET) and air/con noise. But then he just dragged a bunch of people out, exposing the hospital to the virus, no? Or is it the room itself that is infected? Confused.

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