Members Sweet_VeeVee24 Posted November 8, 2006 Members Share Posted November 8, 2006 Today may be a wonderful day outside; and although I am in a better mood that I was yesterday or on previous days, I want to get this off my chest, simply because I have become frustrated. I notice that when others express their thoughts or feelings, they are commended on standing up for themselves or having the courage to share how they feel. However, I find that when I even utter one thing about how I feel or what upsets me, I'm always being told either "You need to stop feeling that way," "You're taking this way too seriously," or, you shouldn't even be feeling like that." It doesn't matter what I say, some how, I always wind up feeling like I am in the wrong; that I'm the one that should be ashamed for what I even feel. Because of this, I lost all hope in trusting someone with my feelings. It took me six months to battle demons of trust in my life, primarily because of the abuse I lived with as a child, and now, I'm right back where I started; building wall up to keep folks from hurting me. Since this is off-topic, I'm going to tell what went on yesterday. There was a hot topic on the board yesterday, and I was actually enjoying posting in that thread; then someone took it upon themselves to turn the thread into something it was never intended to be. Yes, everyone has a right to their views, to voice their opinions, and to state how they feel; however, does that mean to go as far as to maliciously offend others to get their point across? Well, yesterday evening, I felt offended; so much so, that I thought that by talking about it with someone would help....It didn't. Instead, I left feeling like I was just reading too much into it, even though it was clear as day that some of the things written was offensive. I don't expect anyone to reply to this; I just needed to post this to share. I've always felt that some of you have been very cool with me; and those that aren't, that's okay too...I just needed to get this off my chest, because it really bothered me last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SteveFrame Posted November 8, 2006 Members Share Posted November 8, 2006 Sweet, I am not sure if you are talking about this board or not. I doubt very seriously that you were blowing it out of proportion. As much as I love SON I have learned that there are several posters here who love to stir the pot as you say. And they don't care who they hurt or offend in getting their point across either. It would be nice if everyone remembered that just because this is the Internet doesn't mean we can say or write everything that comes to mind. There are people with real feelings attached to the post on the other end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Q Steph Posted November 8, 2006 Members Share Posted November 8, 2006 What was the situation? I haven't been regularly logged onto the board because I had a lot of animosity that needed to be cleansed from my system. I don't bite my tongue and my feelings often overrule my better judgment. Those ill feelings have faded. I've returned to active posting, but as I'm learning over and over, if offense is taken, you've located a source of hurt. You shouldn't deny or supress that emotion. It only manifests until enough is enough. If your feelings are hurt, your feelings are hurt. I have a tendency to lash back and hurt more. That's not always the most mature tactic but that' just how I'm made up. I have my way of thinking; others often and will take a different perspective. They're entitled. I welcome dissension because divergent engagemnt can bring about new ideas and outlook. I'll fall on my sword if there is an issue I feel strongly in my bones Otherwise, I can agree to dissgree with others. Having the disctinction of being right is not always a priority; nor does it trumph hurting others for no good reason. Hit me up though. You and I are alike in some ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Q Steph Posted November 8, 2006 Members Share Posted November 8, 2006 Also, it helps to develop a thicker skin. Everyone thinks they're right anyway. Speak your peace and just go on. My friend actually cursed me out because we got into it over poltiics. All I could do was just laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shawn Posted November 8, 2006 Members Share Posted November 8, 2006 Sweet, I know what you are talking about and frankly, it offended me too. While most of the people on this board express their views/opinions with dignity and tact while still getting their point across, others feel that by acting like a rabid dog, viciously attacking those who "dare" to think differently , they are truly in the right. I try to ignore the few because I really do like the majority at SON. However sometimes, I get so fed up I have to log off for the remainder of the day. I come to this board to unwind and forget about feeling that knot of stress and anger in my stomach. I get enough of that at work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Actor87 Posted November 8, 2006 Members Share Posted November 8, 2006 Vene....you know how I feel about all of it, because of what I vented about in the Random Thoughts thread and I just want to take this moment to publically commend you on being such a big sister to me here on the boards. I know I might not always be there when you need me to be, but somehow (I don't know how you do it) you always seem to know when something is bothering me and help me through it. Last night, I was so mad I could have bitten a hole in my tongue, but you layed out your words of wisdom for me to dwell over and I just wanted to thank you for being such a great, understanding, caring person. OT: Shawn, in a situation like this, I might have been offended if you had switched your banner to something else other than Britney, but since it's my future wife and all that you're flaunting in your siggy.....I'll let it slide (BTW, this is meant to be a joke ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kwing42 Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 I understand how you feel. You want to express yourself but because of the hatred of others it can get you down at times. Like someone said, you need a thicker skin, but not all of us can just go get that. It hurts, you mean well but your words are turned around or because you are a minority on a free space board its your own fault for speaking your right of free speech. If you have an opinion other then the majority you are slammed and slammed hard...no matter what you say and you are made into something you are not. Just remember, its a message board. Every single one of us hide behind our name and we are not all the rude, incosiderate freaks of nature that we present ourselves to be at times. Just try to turn the other cheeck and move on. Try to smile...it will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kwing42 Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 I understand how you feel. You want to express yourself but because of the hatred of others it can get you down at times. Like someone said, you need a thicker skin, but not all of us can just go get that. It hurts, you mean well but your words are turned around or because you are a minority on a free space board its your own fault for speaking your right of free speech. If you have an opinion other then the majority you are slammed and slammed hard...no matter what you say and you are made into something you are not. Just remember, its a message board. Every single one of us hide behind our name and we are not all the rude, incosiderate freaks of nature that we present ourselves to be at times. Just try to turn the other cheeck and move on. Try to smile...it will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Q Steph Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 What thread is everyone talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rhiannon Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 A thread in the Discuss the Soaps section that got deleted sometime today, it was about Christel Khalil and her portrayal of Lilly on Y&R....It got really heated, and people were arguing about how black Christel is......One person that has been a troublemaker here, was being pretty belligerent towards everyone..... I'm guessing that after I went to bed, the thread got even more heated and intense....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Soapsuds Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 I think it was closed last night but I didnt know it had been deleted. I think it was closed last night but I didnt know it had been deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Q Steph Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 Thanks. I read the earlier pages of the thread, but missed the ugly parts I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bellcurve Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 I really hope that you didn't feel offended or personally attacked in ANY of my posts last night. I'm really sorry for being one of the hornets stirring the nest. I can get a little crazy with my opinions at times. Oh what the hell...I get A LOTTA CRAZY! But I never try to offend anyone. *PLEASE* forgive me!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sweet_VeeVee24 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 I vented what I wanted to, and if some people still want to hate me for the way I feel, that's fine. If they want to write little random thoughts about me, that's also fine. I'm only human; I have feelings, and they hurt when I feel offended; I have to remember not everyone has been in my shoes or faced a lot of the things that I have faced. So, if folks want to talk about me behind my back, or dog me out because of the way I felt, then that's there choice. I can only correct what's wrong in my life; not everyone elses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Soapsuds Posted November 9, 2006 Members Share Posted November 9, 2006 There are a lot of hateful people in this world SweetNYGal. And it is sad that they dont know they are. Hang in there. There are a lot of hateful people in this world SweetNYGal. And it is sad that they dont know they are. Hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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