Oh, of course I realize why Iva was 'put-upon', given the kind of backstory the character had, it would be strange if she had never seen her that way.
What I take issue was the constant drumbeat of misery, especially when it seemed that the character had taken a different path.
It just seemed like dumping her into an abyss of misery repeatedly was a way of creating something to do with the character at a time when story may have been 'thin' for her.
Iva was never going to be a giddy character, even when she was with Kirk, she could be dour and tough and always pragmatic and she didn't need to be suffocated under a blanket of misery to achieve that. In fact, she had more of an edge in her early days interacting with the Kirk character than I'd ever seen her before or since on the show.
EDT:
By the way, I come from a long line of women who endured very hard lives (at least one is a rape survivor herself). Maybe because their lives were so tough, they made time and space to experience joy.
Now, had Iva been bi-polar or diagnosed with clinical depression, that would have been a good aspect to explore and would have made perfect sense for going back and forth but it was never explored so I'm only left to assume that someone (maybe at P&G) wanted Iva in a near constant state of dour misery.
Personally, I don't enjoy watching women constantly being tortured by life. Personally, life is hard enough as a woman in this world and as a Black woman? Whew!