Got this mailed froma friend. Must have been in TV Guide or so. Anyway, it is a riot. Unbelievable, so funny!!!

What 2007 will bring to your soaps...

The Bold and the Beautiful

—Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke) fails once again to earn her first Emmy nomination. Mysteriously, Emmy champ Susan Flannery (Stephanie) goes missing shortly after she receives her umpteenth nomination for best actress.

—When Taylor accidentally kills Thorne on the Pacific Coast Highway, Alexandria is officially orphaned by her entire family. Soon after, the young tyke begins craving Chianti and fava beans.

—B&B shows off its casting prowess when it lands Meryl Streep to play Stephanie while the search for the still-missing Flannery continues. Lang loses it after Streep sweeps the Emmys as best actress, best supporting actress, and best younger lead actress. Frustrated and worried about increasing suspicion, Lang jumps to GH as Felicia Scorpio.

—B&B finally expands to an hour. Soon after, executive producer and headwriter Bradley Bell introduces five new Forrester relatives who all end up romantically tied to Taylor and Brooke.

—After B&B’s Bradley Bell wins the best drama series and writing awards, the executive producer/writer is ironically hit by a car on the Pacific Coast Highway when Hunter Tylo (Taylor) takes method acting to a new level.

—Kristina Wagner (ex-Felicia, GH) is hired as the new Brooke Forrester after marrying Jack Wagner (Nick) for the second time. Unbelievably, Wagner is nominated for an Emmy, forcing Lang to quit soaps forever.

One Life to Live

—Thanks to the success of Ugly Betty, Kathy Brier jumps from OLTL as Marci to B&B as an awkward but brilliant fashion designer, who joins Forrester Originals and teaches everyone what true beauty is. Brier wins an Emmy next year for her groundbreaking portrayal. Soon after, Brier goes missing.

The Young and the Restless

—When Y&R reveals that Victor Newman is a Nazi sympathizer in the denouement of the Brad-is-Jewish storyline, its late, great creator William J. Bell officially rolls over in his grave.

—Angry that Y&R recast her role with Michelle Stafford as Sheila, Kimberlin Brown joins Days as Stefano DiMera.

—Heather and David Tom reprise their roles as Victoria Carlton and Billy Abbott, respectively, on Y&R.

—Amber is revealed to be the baby Katherine switched at birth.

—Y&R’s Lynne Marie Latham doesn’t take her firing lightly after she destroyed the former No. 1 soap. She takes the CBS studio hostage, forcing them to air her stories live in an effort to get viewers to tune in and care again. Frustrated with acting out crap, Jeanne Cooper (Katherine) tackles and subdues the writer — and William Bell finally rests in peace.

—Angry that Y&R recast her role with Michelle Stafford as Sheila, Kimberlin Brown joins Days as Stefano DiMera.

OMG! Too funny! Loved it!

Y&R’s Lynne Marie Latham doesn’t take her firing lightly after she destroyed the former No. 1 soap. She takes the CBS studio hostage, forcing them to air her stories live in an effort to get viewers to tune in and care again. Frustrated with acting out crap, Jeanne Cooper (Katherine) tackles and subdues the writer — and William Bell finally rests in peace.

:lol:

—B&B shows off its casting prowess when it lands Meryl Streep to play Stephanie while the search for the still-missing Flannery continues. Lang loses it after Streep sweeps the Emmys as best actress, best supporting actress, and best younger lead actress. Frustrated and worried about increasing suspicion, Lang jumps to GH as Felicia Scorpio.

—After B&B’s Bradley Bell wins the best drama series and writing awards, the executive producer/writer is ironically hit by a car on the Pacific Coast Highway when Hunter Tylo (Taylor) takes method acting to a new level.

Those are the most wicked, IMO. LMAO!!!

HAHAHAHAH!!

THE B&B ones are HILARIOUS (the Lang/Wagner stuff)!!

I saw these on the Canadian TV Guide site and I was LMAO.