AMC: Answering Machine Messages

[DevotedToAMC]

Hello you have reached Erica Kane at 1-800-Multiple-Marriages. I am sorry I missed your call but I am out with my daughter's two sons and will have to get back to you at a later time. Please leave your message at the beep. And if you are calling and wondering if I will ever say the words "grandma" or "grandson" well it will not happen in your lifetime. Bye

[AMCGio83]

"Hi, this is Brooke English. I'm being held hostage in the holy land. I can't imagine why you haven't noticed. I need someone to come get me. Laura? Jamie? Uh Pierce? Anybody. BEEP."

[DevotedToAMC]

Hello my name is Ryan Lavery at 1-800-Bug-Eyes. I am out pontificating right now and screaming like a chicken with its head cut off. Why anyone would call an idiot like me is questionable but anyways leave your name and number and, if I figure out how to use a phone, I will get back to you.

[EricaKane70]

Hey, this is binks sorry I missed your call but I only come back to pv when its convient for me. I miss my best friend babe, she is my bested friend in the whole world even though she lied to me about bess being miranda, kept my child for almost a year, saw me cry my eyes out, and only gave me my child back because she found hers. Babe if this is you bitch you better not call me again and don't you even think about leaving a message.

[DevotedToAMC]

Hi this is Adam Chandler. I am out driving right now with a dead body in my trunk, trying to reclaim my wife from that damn rascal Martin, or feuding with old man Cortlandt so I cannot take your call at this time. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message after the beep and I will return your call. If you are calling for me to bail you out of jail on a $1 million bond, sorry I cannot help you.

[EricaKane70]

Hello I'm Erica Kane, I have a show called new beginnings be sure to watch me. I'm the sexiest gr-- umm momma that ever walked the face of this earth, the world revolves around me, everyone loves me, its just so great to be me, and dontcha just wish you were me? I have three gr--umm I mean both my daughters have children, they look just like me and will grow up to be just like me. I'm gonna be single soon so leave your name and phone number at the beep. An if this is jack you can go to hell and I still don't understand why your so mad I tried to put greenpea in a mental institution it was for the best. Kisses and hugs. Beep

Background music, milkshake by kelis.

[DevotedToAMC]

Hi this is Opal. I am trying on a new witty and interesting outfit at Myrt's Boutique and chasing after my dastardly son Petey. Please leave me a message and perhaps I will respond with a good fortune message for you with my tarot cards.

[Soapsuds]

All our lines are busy....someone will be with you shortly. *****Background music begins...Apologize......Apologize***

[DevotedToAMC]

Oh god I have had enough with that song! Ron I am getting tar and feathers for you!

[Pine Charles]

AMCGio,

I love your Brooke message! Even calling for Pierce! HAHA! Hilarious!

LMAO!!!

[AMCGio83]

I had a feeling you'd like it...love that JB pic in your profile.

Here's a New one:

"Hi this is Maggie. Leave a message. Also, I'm a lesbian. Really! No Really! No wait...not...yeah, I'm a lesbian. Wait..BEEP."

[DevotedToAMC]

Hi this is Palmer and I am hiding in the Martin Attic and waiting for the writers to use me. Just leave your name and number, unless it is my ex Opal, and I will get back to you. And Adam, I am not going to fight with you over jelly beans.

[All My Shadows]

"Hey! You have reached the SLATER residence! If you want KENDALL, that's me, and I'm probably running around town screaming about how victimized I am and how I haven't done a single wrong thing in my entire life. And if you want Zach, he's probably on the toilet after a nice burrito...we ran out of Glade, and that's the next best thing. Leave your name and number! Though I'm sure mine is better!"

[AMCTrainWreck]

The funniest message we have ever heard from MaybeGay but shouldn't it be in French???

[DevotedToAMC]

Hello you have reached Annie McDermott. I am busy putting someone in prison for several years for something they did not do and playing the hurt woe is me person. My husband is a great superhero but for some reason annoys all of the fans. Please leave a message and I will get back to you.