The Essence Of Kennylicious

[Tishy]

I don’t know what the hell I have gotten myself into this time. What have I signed myself up for? I am walking down a long corridor and I am the only female around. It’s funny too, because not one of the men are looking at me! And I swear to all of you, I am not that unattractive. I hear some music and look up and see a door. On the door it says MEN. I push it open and walk right into the Men’s locker room. I am here to find Kennylicious.

I stand there, a little uncomfortable as men in towels walk past. I am certainly checking them out. Suddenly, I hear some music….(you must watch this!)

I walk around the corner and there is Kennylicious sitting in a very comfy looking chair and checking out every man that walks by. I sit down in the straight back wooden chair that has been provided for me. I don’t think Kennylicious has even noticed I have sat down because there are just so many men in various stages of undress heading in and out of the shower. I wave my hand in front of Kennylicious’ face.

Tishy: Hello Kennylicious. Remember me? I asked you if you wanted to meet for an interview. Nice place you chose, although I would have expected you to choose a different theme song for yourself.

Kennylicious: Oh hell no! I would never pick that as my theme song. God where are my manners, I hope you found this place ok.

Tishy: (dryly) I followed all the flying men.

Kennylicious: No my theme song well, I sort of have two. The song "Let's Hear It For The Boy" by Deniece Williams was #1 on the day I was born (June 1, 1984 -- look it up!), so I've always sort of felt as though that's my own personal anthem. As for a song that defines me, who I am... what I feel about myself? I'd have to go with "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink.

Tishy: Damn you are a young one! So some of us don’t know everything about you, hence the interview. Enlighten us, How did you find SON, what is your story?

Kennylicious: Way back in the day, there was a website called "Soap Opera News, Rumors & Catfights," or just SONARC for short. The woman who ran that website was named Channa. Many of the current SON members were also members of SONARC. Anyway, to make a long story short, many of the staff and members at SONARC began to realize that Channa was a fake, constantly giving out incorrect 'inside information,' and even going to far as to lie and say that her child had been hit by a car in an effort to receive donations from members of the forum! Eventually, my friend Alyssa (co-creator of SON, no longer a member here) and Toups, who were staff members at SONARC, decided to cut free from Channa's hold and create their own message board titled "Soap Opera Network." I even recall brainstorming with Alyssa what the new board should be named! Eventually, she came up with the name that is still used today. I've been here since the first day the board came to exist, and have seen it all -- highs and lows, dramas and more dramas.

Tishy: So what brings you back?

Kennylicious: The members. The fact that this board is so full of gay folks and gay-friendly folks. It's like a gay bar where soaps play 24/7! Does it get any better... really?!

Tishy: It could if we could get paid to post there. Can you imagine the money some people could make? Anyways, in my time on the board, I have seen you do a lot of outrageous things. In your opinion, what was the most outrageous thing you have ever been involved in?

Kennylicious: Wow, did you see that guy! His towel almost fell! Ok, I was banned, at one point, by Errol. He and I had a few disagreements and I got out of line, so I was banned. I recall several members even making "Free Kenny!" banners for their signatures in protest of my banning, LoL.

Tishy: I could see it now, we could have all made Free Kenny tee shirts like they did the Free Winona ones.

Kennylicious: Are you trying to be funny, because you are not. Aside from being banned, I would have to say probably the "sex" thread I created in the off-topic forum. That was a lot of fun.

Tishy: I have to say, I missed that one. I love this question. You are the new executive producer at Days and guess what? You not only have an unlimited budget, you don’t have to answer to a single higher up! What would you do?

Kennylicious: Oh what fun! I would fire at least half of the current cast and bring back Christie Clark, Patrick Muldoon, Jamie Lyn Bauer, Louise Sorel and the unforgettable Eileen Davidson. I would hire James Reilly and Sheri Anderson to co-headwrite. Sheri could balance out some of Reilly's flaws and keep the show supercouple-centric, while we could get that trademark JER-of-the-90's feel back again with my guidance of him. I would also push the network to allow bare asses!

Tishy: Like that one?

Kennylicious: Especially like that one. He kinda looks like Ryan Chandler!

Tishy: I wouldn’t know, I have never seen him. Don’t make me get the whip out Kennylicious, we are only half through. Besides watching soaps, what else do you like to do in your spare time?

Kennylicious: I'm a bingo freak. I love playing bingo! Better yet, I love winning and pissing off all the old women there who act as if I'm stealing their Preparation-H money. One time, I actually got into a screaming match with an old lady in a walker. She told me that the table I was sitting at had been reserved for her friends, and I informed her that there was no "reserved" sign specifying that, and from there we just began screaming back and forth at one another until the managers had to come out and threaten to kick us out, LoL. I would've felt bad if she keeled over from a heart attack, but I sort of felt like Rosa Parks being forced to sit at the back of the bus. I wasn’t going to be told where I could sit by a complete stranger! I stood my ground, and I think Mrs. Parks would've been proud of me! LoL Wow... so, that got was off topic.

Tishy: I can see it now. For generations to come in history books, Rosa Parks and Kennylicious. So what else do you do there must be more?

Kennylicious: Anyway, let's see... what else do I do? I love to sing, but I don't do it professionally. Just in the privacy of my own apartment/car. I've been told that I should try out for "American Idol," but I think I'll pass, LoL. Um, I basically just hang out with friends and family. I'm not a very exciting guy. I don't go to smoke-filled bars or gay dance clubs, because we have none of that in my small Indiana city. The only excitement I ever get is going to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to see if I can run into anybody I know, or playing hide-and-go-seek in the cornfields. Country folk, I tell ya!

Tishy: You can be the next Sanjaya! So now I am going to get all Katie Couric on you and ask the real hard questions. We all know you like boys, especially that one over there you keep eyeing. Is there a Mr Right in your life or a lot of Mr Right Nows?

Kennylicious: I've only ever been on in one serious relationship, which lasted about four years. I've been single for nearly a year and a half now, by choice. I don't have time or patience for relationships. Unfortunately, every time I'm single I want a man, and every time I have a man I wish I was single. I should just purchase one of those realistic blow-up dolls. If I could get it to cook dinner for me, even better!

Tishy: I am all about love. For instance, I have several crushes. Do you have any crushes right now?

Kennylicious: My biggest celebrity crush at the moment is Brandon Flowers, lead singer of "The Killers." I think he's probably the most insanely gorgeous man I've ever seen in my life. I would do anything to have any part of him touch any part of me, LoL. I would probably taste his saliva if given the chance. As for my first crush, in general... I don't even remember! That was way too long ago, LoL. I've been a horny devil since I was 5 or 6! In real life, it’s my sister’s fiancé, but don’t tell anyone!

Tishy: With your family track record, he should watch out!

Kennylicious: Look, I see a guy that looks vaguely familiar and I want to go reintroduce myself if you know what I mean. Are we almost done here?

Tishy: One more question. Then you can go. I want to thank you for being so patient. In five years, where do you see yourself?

Kennylicious: Probably broke as hell, still wanting better things for myself but too lazy and uninspired to do what it takes to get those things. I have no plan, whatsoever, LoL. I'll probably die poor and alone, and I've always had a feeling that I would die young so that's not altogether out of the realm of possibility!

Tishy: Thanks Kennylicious for this awesome interview….

Kennylicious: Yeah whatever, gotta go see that guy!

If anyone else would like to be interviewed by yours truly, please PM me and I will gladly interview you. It's all about fun and getting to know people. First come, first serve and no one will be turned away! Just shoot me a PM! I also want to thank Kennylicious for being my first victim, I really appreciate it! You totally rock, and I hope you like the video I picked for you

[Actor87]

At's my boy!! Barely mentioned anyone except himself.

You know I love ya, Kenny.

[R!ck]

Kenny your a riot! I you

Had your work cut out on this one didn't ya Tish?

[KLN]

Aw, Rick! I love you too!

Thanks to the fabulous Tishy for even inviting me to do the interview. I was more than happy to participate!

[CSW]

Great interview. I love concept and you two definately had a great flow. Before I respond to Kenny's candid, hilarious and honest answers, I want to congradulate Tishy on her questions and questioning skills. It is never easy to read a print-interview because they usually lack quality of flow. Your interview had this quality, so way to go!

As for Kenny, did we really learn your essence? Or are you like a stellar episode of LOST where you answer one question but raise 3 more questions? You're a good sport for subjecting yourself to an interview and your comments were both revealing and vague in parts.

Good job. I may sign up for an interview if this concept takes off.

[Tishy]

I loved interviewing Kenny and when I thought of doing it herem I honestly knew right away that I wanted him to be the first interviewee. Kenny, you were so much fun and I hoped you watched the youtube I put in there for you. I searched everywhere for it. It's so corny and cheesy but it remindedme that you were one who liked Kid's Incorporated so I figured you might like it.

I will not turn anyone away so if you want to be interviewed, just let me know. I would be happy to do it!

[KLN]

Oh yes! I watched it! LoL I watched it once all the way through, and then the next time I just let it play while I read the rest of the interview. It was like a soundtrack!

[Andre]

One of the funnest threads I've seen in a long while.

[titan1978]

I forgot about Channa's kid. The great Channa reveal was a high in internet soaps.

Great questions, both probing and light. The Essence of Kenny. Sounds kind of filthy, but in a fun way.

Kennylicious, long may he reign.