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The real Suds Report: January 25, 2008

By The real Nelson Branco

'DAYS' Special: Beemer and Madison fired! Plus: Tamara Braun joins as Steve’s new love interest! Tony and Anna return to Salem!

All My Children, A-Channel/ABC — AMC rebounds — slightly

The returns of the real Greenlee, the real Angie, and the real Jesse, have made watching life in Pine Valley much more tolerable. In fact, I hardly fast-forward through the show anymore, but there is still a long way to go to get the soap back on track. I love newcomer, Cornelius Smith, Jr. as Frankie, who should be paired with Sydney Penny (Julia), since he has that Keith Hamilton Cobb (ex-Noah) vibe. And the way the show explained Jesse’s death is pretty believable, I think. Jesse comes out of hiding because Frank is dying — makes sense to me. With Jacob still out there, looks like a dual role may be on Williams' horizon — and will hopefully make us forget his unfortunate GL role as Griggs last year.

In the sour grapes department, my favourite hack writer, Megan McTavish, told the New York Times that she was particularly incensed by the recent return of James Harmon Brown and Barbara Esensten to AMC, who both asked the Writer’s Guild for an exemption due to “financial reasons.” McTavish hit back, saying: “These are not youngsters struggling to make mortgage payments or feed their children. Their sole intent now seems to be piling up more money for themselves.” Bitter — party of one, please!

As The World Turns, Global/CBS — The new Maddie?

Newcomer Tala Ashe joins ATWT as Ameera, who will be involved in Luke and Noah's storyline. Hmmm… let’s hope Noah doesn’t fall back to his old heterosexual ways! This is what I know: Ameera, a major recurring role, is visiting from Iraq, and is desperate to start a life in Oakdale. Be careful what you wish for, honey — and lock up your uterus!

ATWT is nominated against AMC as Best Daily Drama at this year’s GLAAD Media Awards ceremonies, which will be held in New York on March 17 at the Marriott Marquis; in South Florida at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino on April 12; in Los Angeles on April 26 at the Kodak Theatre; and in San Francisco on May 10 at the San Francisco Marriott. It’s a safe bet to assume ATWT will beat AMC. I’ll be at the award show to bring you all the gay scoop!

The Bold and the Beautiful, CTV/CBS — Rick, the Cougar Hunter

For all of you who guessed Taylor’s new man is Brooke’s son, Rick — you’re right. Now this should be interesting. Wonder what Ashley will think? Once again, no major casting news this week, but you can expect Donna “Ho”gan to get the upper hand in her battle with Stephers when she tells Eric the truth and they pretend to break up. Too bad Stephanie counts his Viagra pills and figures out the deception! Apparently, this will set off a whole new shocking turn of events.

Coronation Street, CBC — Star’s real-life engagement

Kym Ryder (Michelle) broke down in tears while filming a TV ghost-hunt show. The star was investigating paranormal activity with a group of fellow cast members when she became convinced that she had seen a spirit. Ryder was joined by her co-stars Jack P. Shepherd (David Platt), Katherine Kelly (Becky Granger), Tupele Dorgu (Kelly Crabtree) and Wendi Peters (Cilla Battersby-Brown) from Corrie Street. Spoiler alert: It is believed that Street legend Vera Duckworth's death scenes were still fresh in Kym's memory when she visited the Isle of Man. Hey, she should count her blessings that Jennifer Love Hewitt wasn’t the ghost whisperer!

Days of Our Lives, Global/NBC — Shocking firings! Braun joins cast!

What the hell is Days thinking? In one of the most shocking double firings, Brandon Beemer (Shawn) and Martha Madison (Belle) have been given their respective walking papers. “We’re very sad to see them go,” the soap’s PR tells TVGuide.ca. Madison tells Soap Opera Digest: "We had just really opened a Pandora's box of story possibilities, so I was really excited. This was absolutely the last thing I ever expected, but it is a business. This is what happens sometimes." Madison was nominated for a 2008 Soap Opera Spirit Award as Best Supporting Actress — and is highly considered as an acting find by many critics and fans.

Former Carly Corinthos, Tamara Braun is back on daytime and Days has her. A rep confirmed the news last week, telling moi, “Yes, she is coming to Days as a mysterious woman named Ava from Steve's past. We will see a glimpse, but probably not her face on Feb. 8th.” Her return to soaps must have come at a high price; rumors suggest Beemer and Madison were fired to pay for Braun’s arrival. With the exception of Jennifer Bradford, all the GH Carlys are back on daytime! I would have just written off Steve and Kayla because they’ve been in story limbo since their return. I’d kill to see Mary Beth Evans back on ATWT as Sierra, her best daytime role yet. Heck — Stephen Nichols’ could be nuCraig and join his infamous co-star on the East Coast!

Returning to Salem is Thaao Penghlis and Soap Opera Spirit nominee Leann Hunley as Tony and Anna on Jan. 29 in a big new storyline. Well, at least, until they’re fired.

EastEnders, BBC Canada — Real-life arrest!

Oh, snap! Former star Marc Bannerman was involved in a confrontation with a photographer. The 34-year-old star found himself in a row with a paparazzo last month after they followed him and fellow I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here! contestant Cerys Matthews to a pub. After his meal, Bannerman was arrested but was later released on police bail after the incident outside the Ship Inn in Trefin, Pembrokeshire.

General Hospital, CTV/ABC — Sleeping with the enemy!

I’m counting down the days until the real Carly Corinthos returns this Thursday. Emmy winner Sarah Brown pops back into GH to scare the living daylights out of Laura Wright (Carly), as Claudia Zacchara, and in her first episode, the female mob head meets Sonny at a bar and immediately gets horizontal with her enemy. I hope this tryst means the end for that insipid Kate Howard, who rejected Sonny’s marriage proposal. This week, look for Lucky to dump that tramp, Sam, and Robin tells Patrick she’s preggers but leaves out the fact that he’s the daddy. This Thursday, Luke returns!

Guiding Light, Global/CBS — Zzzz…

Nothing new to report except for storyline happenings: Alan hosts a memorial for his great-granddaughter, Sarah; Beth pays Alan a secret visit; Billy and Dinah bond after completing rehab; Reva dodges a bullet; and Cyrus makes a decision between that hussy, Harley and his fiancée, Marina.

One Life To Live, A-Channel/ABC — Blair and Todd have sex!

Daytime’s best soap is managing to keep me as interested as ever (Pamela Stewart’s arrival was shocking and highly entertaining; I never saw her working with Jared as a possibility, or the fact that she is related to him — nice work!), despite the WGA strike. Former OLTL executive producer and Another World honcho, Gary Tomlin is penning the show until soap god Ron Carlivati returns from striking. This week, it’s more of the same: On Monday, Blair and Todd finally do the nasty and profess their love once again; Starr worries that Cole and Langston are falling in love; Nora gives the hard facts to Marcie; new camp faves Addie and Miles bond; Ramsey gives Gigi a solution to her problems; and Allison taunts Jessica about another family secret! Please make Jess Clint’s daughter again.

Passions, DirecTV/SuperChannel — The most exciting week ever… not!

In Harmony news this week (I know my excitement over Passions is overwhelming, but please forgive me): Fancy tries to seduce Noah on Thursday (like that’ll be hard); Viki stabs Rebecca; Luis is affected by Pretty’s selflessness; and Juanita traps Theresa and Pilar.

The Young and the Restless, Global/CBS — Most Improved Show during the WGA Strike

Now I know why Y&R has become vastly improved and highly watchable of late: former OLTL co-head writer Josh Griffin is penning the soap while LML is picketing! Let’s hope the show rebounds creatively, and in the ratings while she’s on the picket lines, prompting CBS to can her untalented ass.

In intriguing casting news, the wonderful Elizabeth Hendrickson (ex-Maggie, AMC) has joined the soap as Chloe, a hotshot fashion guru who becomes a bad influence on that annoying twit, Lily. I wished the soap had recast either Colleen, Jana, Lily, Victoria, Amber, or heck any of the untalented people on this show instead of creating a new character with the divine Hendrickson.

Pat Benatar and her husband, Neil Giraldo, will perform their original tune "Every Time I Fall Back.” Benatar tries to help Karen overcome her stage fright so she, too, can sing in front of a crowd at Indigo on Feb. 14 and 15. Maybe Benatar can give Peeples a few pointers on acting as well.

SOAP SYLLABUS: Best Daytime Feud Ever!

I’ve been jonesing for a B&B Stephanie and Brooke feud fix, and until these two freaks do battle again, check out the best daytime feud, next to Another World’s Rachel and Iris, for a highly entertaining summary.

CASTING COACH: Noelle Beck

Why hasn’t anyone pursued the insanely gorgeous, and hypnotically talented Noelle Beck (ex-Trisha Alden, Loving)? This classy young dame is Cashmere Mafia’s breakout star, in my opinion, and I adore her being cast as the sophisticated, yet revenge-thirsty bitch/whore! Who knew Beck, who is always cast as the evolved heroine, could be so good at playing bad? If Hunter Tylo left B&B, Beck would make a fierce Taylor!

MASTER CLASS: THE BEST OF THE BEST ON SOAPS

Y&R’s Eric Braeden (Victor Newman)

Welcome back, Mr. Braeden! If 2007 was Melody Thomas Scott’s year as Nikki, then 2008 is Braeden’s year to reclaim what is rightfully his and shine accordingly. So everyone, get out of Braeden’s way because Victor Newman is back with a vengeance! The Emmy winner has made me fall in love with parts of this embattled soap all over again. I’m simply obsessed with the nasty yet fascinating Victor-Nikki divorce — and Braeden is already the front runner for Best Actor at next year’s Emmy Awards! And why is it so quiet these days on the set of Y&R? The late, great William Bell is finally resting in his grave now that his star player, is back where he belongs and not being wasted by spending valuable screen time bonding with animals.

How much did you love the scene in which Victor fired Michael for basically being an idiot? Classic Victor Newman! This may not be the case, but my subtext radar went off big time during that scene, which in my eyes had Braeden officially telling Christian LeBlanc (Michael) that the power has shifted: “You’ve had your fun as the leading man of this show, but now I’m back! Pack up your Emmys, boy, it’s Newman time!” Finally. Also, Braeden’s dialogue is spot-on and chilling — I wonder if he’s been writing it himself? And an honorable mention goes out to Scott, who has finally stood up to Braeden in the acting department — and is stealing a few scenes in the process. I’d be so scared to be Nikki these days since the dark knight is on the warpath, but she’s holding her own! Bravo!

SOAP MALFUNCTION: RANT OF THE WEEK

ATWT’s Roger Howarth (Paul Ryan)

Why did you leave OLTL again, Mr. Howarth? Lately, it seems as if Oakdale has murdered your creative soul and you have nothing left to give. Also, has the ATWT hair team abandoned you? Get thee to a mirror, stat!

Top 3 Shows to Watch:

1. One Life To Live

2. The Young and the Restless

3. General Hospital

Top 3 Actresses to Watch:

1. Sarah Brown (Claudia, GH)

2. Robin Strasser (Dorian, OLTL)

3. Melody Thomas Scott (Nikki, Y&R)

Top 3 Actors to Watch:

1. Eric Braeden (Victor, Y&R)

2. Jon Hensley (Holden, ATWT)

3. Anthony Geary (Luke, GH)

Top 3 Couples to Watch:

1. Katie and Brad, ATWT

2. Robin and Patrick, GH

3 Claudia and Sonny, GH

Top 3 Soap Moments To Watch:

1. Thursday: Sarah Brown returns to GH as Claudia — in case you hadn’t heard!

2. Wednesday: Rick comforts Taylor on B&B!

3. Tuesday: ATWT’s Bob wakes up from his coma!

http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca/The+real+S...lson.htm?isfa=1

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^^^ Please add a link if you copy and paste.

Nelson is calling someone a hack? LMAO!! Look in the mirror, you tabloid journalist. ;) I can't believe TvGuide Canada lets him get away with the unprofessional comments.

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