Khan

Announcer: You never know what laughs the stork will deliver on "Battle for Babies," Wednesday nights on ABC!

And I would have been, like, "That explains SOOOOOO much."

Or Star Jones. (Star: Oh, HELL no!)

Oh, I forgot about that appearance on the Emmys. Just as I forgot about that other cameo she did for TLC's "Trading Spaces." (I tell you, the look on Paige Davis' face when Rae showed up wondering if Hildi had used the Bible as wallpaper for her team's house....)

I don't know why Rae's quest was limited to the ABCD soaps. She easily could have appeared on "The View," asking whether Elisabeth Hasselbeck was "the one"; or shown up on "Dharma & Greg," with a clue tying Dharma to the Fannie Battle Home. I mean, the possibilities were endless.

No doubt, she wasn't there for anything meaningful. Honestly, her whole cross-over-a-palooza was about as bad as Liz Taylor rummaging through the CBS Monday Night lineup for her missing pearls.

Actually, SFK, I think McCashin would have been perfect on ALL MY CHILDREN as Brooke's long-lost half-sister, either by Ed English (with another woman), or by her mother. Just imagine, too, if her character had hooked up with Tom Cudahy or Tad Martin.

And I still say the story should have ended right there. Everything else...well, that's for another thread about another cancelled show.

All this talk of Rae "crossing over" makes me think of "Ghost Whisperer." (Go into the light, Gretel Rae!)

Here's my scenario: Rae, as established, got pregnant while in college and had her baby at the Fannie Battle Home for Unwed Mothers (per SoapCentral). Unfortunately, she learns her baby, a boy, died soon after birth, and that his death, the result of the physician's basic incompetency, was covered up. And the page from the Bible that supposedly named Skye as Rae's biological daughter? That was a complete forgery, thanks to Rae's ex-hubby, Daniel Faulkner. Althea is, indeed, Skye's real and true biological mother. However, Althea feared her daughter might have been fathered by another man she was having an affair with. Ergo, in order to hide her infidelity, Althea checked herself into the same home as Rae, gave birth to her daughter (Skye), then basically adopted her own daughter. Yes, she passed off Skye as Adam's daughter anyway. However, Althea reasoned, if Adam ever suspected that Skye was not really his, she created this scenario to throw him off-track. (And the man who'd been sleeping with Althea...? Edward Quartermaine. Or, Palmer Cortlandt. Whichever has more impact.) Not a perfect scenario, but one that works with established history, for the most part, and restores Skye back to being a full-blooded Chandler w/o having people behaving completely OOC.

BOOF, I mean, BOOM.

Charity Rahmer was busy.

Our girl? Last time I checked, you and I didn't have a baby, and it didn't look that bony.

Some of that music makes me think Shannen Doherty is about to pop up and tell me again how great it is to earn her college degree online.

Aw, shoot. The image won't display for me.

"Bring it, Irna!"

True. No, if anyone was "prime fodder" for a gay storyline, it was Jennifer -- not Barbara's daughter, but her mother. I think it would have been awesome for John Dixon to discover his rival's wife was a closet lesbian and then use that particular piece of gossip to make Bob's life at Oakdale Memorial hell.

And Irna and Ted Corday can't get out of theirs fast enough. But seriously, you have it set up nicely, Carl. I just question whether long-time fans ever would have bought Bob being even bi-curious in light of his marriages. I mean, it happens all the time -- pillars of the community suddenly coming out and all that -- but it seems like soap fans will only go so far when it comes to tent-pole characters.

Is it wrong? Well, no. But where would they go with it? It's not as if Bob would suddenly decide to divorce Kim and join Luke at Ye Olde Gay Bar. Know what I mean?

Now, what does that mean? If I said I was kidding, then I was.

Cut to 2012, and the revelation that Bob and Larry were, in fact, lovers. I'm kidding.

Harry Eggart, who directed the classic "Hall of Mirrors" sequence featuring Roger and Rita, has directed a production of Joseph Kesserling's "Arsenic and Old Lace" at the Provincetown Theater. http://www.provincetowntheater.org/ What a shame to hear he has retired, though. The PGP soaps, and especially GUIDING LIGHT, boasted some of the best directors in daytime; and now, very few, if any, are still working in this industry. Most (John Pasquin, John Whitesell) have transitioned into (mediocre) TV shows and films; others (Eggart, Bruce S. Barry) have stopped working.

No one gives better quips than SON post-ers. No lie.

I'll just take your word that she looks great. I couldn't get past the first minute of this schlock.